Montana Wild Bears: Books 1-4 Bundle (BBW Paranormal Werebear Shape Shifter Romance Boxed Set) (14 page)

“Bears like something to hold on to,” he had said with a devilish grin once, and over time Susie had learned that he wasn’t kidding about it. She’d been courted by a few werebears since him, and they all sang the same tune. As self-assured and capable as she was, Susie was surprised at how girlish and uncertain she could feel around Julian. He was just as she remembered him from their happier times before the incident, or even better in a lot of ways. There was something about ten years of not seeing a man that gave him plenty of time to fill out just right. His broad shoulders and strong back that she had loved so much when they were teenagers had become even wider, and there was an aura of calmness about him that she didn’t remember. He was like a man in charge – an Alpha who knows his worth and his place in life. She hadn’t even noticed that there had been a pause in their conversation until he spoke again, Susie having been too busy trying to muddle through the plethora of thoughts and reactions that both her body and her mind kept throwing at her.

“How are you, Susie? I’ve missed you,” Julian said, and it sounded like honey to her ears. Susie stuttered for a second, walking to one of the big plush recliners next to the couch. She sunk down into the soft leather, silently giving thanks for not collapsing on her way there. Her cheeks were burning red.

“I’m… I’ve… I’ve missed you too, Julian. I’m glad you’re back. I’m good. The businesses are doing well, I think, and the community has been really supportive about everything. I’m not doing quite as well as you are, obviously, but I’m a small fish in a small pond and it seems to suit me,” she said, feeling like she was rambling again. “How about you? What brings you back?”

Julian paused for a moment and Susie could feel his eyes rowing across her body. She felt the heat move up and down the length of her, and it was becoming harder and harder to push down the feelings she knew were still there. He had a way with her that she had missed terribly, and being so close to him in all his intensity was physically painful. She doubted he’d get one word of objection from her if he were to kiss her right then and there.

“Jackson called me. Ryder’s back, but I’m sure you’ve heard.” He waited for her to nod her confirmation before continuing. The leather jacket he was wearing sat just right on his shoulders, and the white tank top underneath it showed off his perfect, masculine body. He’d really grown up, and Susie appreciated the new and improved Julian. “I think they just want me for the posturing. They know I probably won’t be quite as much help if things get down to a territorial fight, but there’s strength in numbers. And I am the second in command, I guess. That’s clan rules for you,” he said, shaking his head slightly. A lock of hair fell on his forehead, and Susie had to restrain herself from brushing it off of his face. He was still the somber, sensitive man she remembered, but the Alpha in him had grown now. Even if it was different from Jackson’s, the bear was firmly rooted in him.

I wonder if he knows how much he has changed.

“It’s nice being home for a change, though. There’s no cell reception around here and the internet is basically a joke. So I can’t work even if I want to, which I think was what Jackson was banking on. Oh well. There is some rest for the wicked, it seems,” he said with a chuckle, and the laughter resounded through Susie in a warm wave. She hadn’t expected him to have such a strong hold on her after so long, but his presence was undeniable, and she couldn’t help but be mesmerized by the enigmatic Alpha. Susie knew him as the gangly young werebear who she had fallen for because of his sweet smile and his clever mind, and here he was – successful, in control and gorgeous. Julian seemed to hesitate for a moment, and a soft purr grumbled in Susie. Could it be? Was he affected by her as she was by him?

“I’m glad you’re doing well, Susie.” He looked up, his blue eyes locking on hers, and she thought she would drown in them. There was intensity and strength in them that she didn’t remember and had only seen in Jackson before. “I don’t feel good about how we left things,” he said, stabbing at a memory that Susie had managed to successfully gulp down for a while. Now, it all came flooding back, and she squirmed uncomfortably in her seat. “I think the feeling’s mutual. I’d like to make it right. Are you with anyone?”

The question struck her out of the blue, and Susie licked across her lips, thinking of how to respond. Technically, she was single and proud of it. But, Drake had done his best to be a problem recently, and she was rather certain that if she were to ask him, he would not agree that she was quite as untaken as she thought she was. Then again, it was Julian Arder asking her that question. How could she say anything but how she felt?

“No, I’m not with anyone right now,” she replied cautiously, drawing an almost relieved smile out of the billionaire.

“Good. Then you can’t have anything against me taking you out on a small outing, right? So we can talk things through and clear the air, so to say. Would tomorrow work for you?”

“An outing… like a date?”

“I wouldn’t mind calling it a date, sure.” Julian grinned, looking like a bear who had just got into a pot of honey. “Wear something warm. I know exactly where we’re going.” I’ll come pick you up after noon.”

With that, he stood up and stretched, giving Susie an uninterrupted moment of eyeing his delicious body without trying to hide it. He was carved to perfection, and she ached to reach out and touch him – the bond was still there between them, and she felt it clearly. Even though they hadn’t seen each other for years, little had dulled between them. The emotions were still raw and sharp, both physical and mental. Susie knew that saying no to him would be impossible. The Alpha knew what he wanted, and she gladly gave herself to the moment, even if it seemed like only a pleasant dream.

“Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said, standing up as well. Only a few feet separated them and they both stood still, looking at one another. Sparks were in the air, the glow of a heated love from the past coming back in full force right before their very eyes. It almost took her breath away. Julian shook out of the revelry faster than she did. He took her hands in his big palms – the man warm and comforting. She gasped, feeling a hot jolt run up her spine from the touch.

“I’m glad you’re still here, Susie. Life hasn’t been the same without you.” A note of softness entered his voice, and she tucked it away in her memories to replay it again later. She’d never been the kind of woman to get all starry-eyed because of a man, but most men weren’t like Julian Arder. Well, no one was like him, really.

He let go of her hands and edged past her, heading towards the front door. She followed him.

“Bye,” she said meekly as he stepped out of the door, the man throwing her a quick wink in reply before closing the door behind him. As soon as the lock latched shut, Susie fell against the door with her back, clutching her chest with both hands as she slid down to sit on the floor. Her cheeks were burning red, and her heart was pounding in her chest. Susie cupped her face with her hands, still feeling the warmth of his hands on hers. Cold Montana had just got a lot hotter.

CHAPTER FOUR

Julian tossed his jacket across the backrest of a chair as he stomped into the lodge, the door slamming shut behind him. He walked straight over to the fireplace to make a fire. The cottage hadn’t been kept in use for a while now and despite having been there for a week, occasionally it still got that musty feeling of abandonment that scraped at him painfully. A fire would light the room up and drive away the cold and the damp, even if Julian barely felt it. The upside of being a werebear – cold didn’t really bother him.

He gave a deep sigh as he watched the fire spark to life, the flames starting to lick at the logs and blaze brighter as moments went by. Julian sat on his haunches for a while, just staring into the fire as it lit his profile, the light dancing on his bulging muscles. A lot had happened over the last few days, and he wasn’t entirely sure how he felt about it. Coming to Montana had been a tough decision in more ways than one. He’d tried his best not to think about his past ever since leaving home at eighteen to chase down his fortune. Even when his father had passed, he hadn’t come back. On the one hand, he had expected it to complicate things – even if they didn’t mean to, the two eldest sons of a fallen Alpha tended to inadvertently brew up conflict in a situation where power was up for grabs. Both he and Jackson knew that he wouldn’t have challenged Jackson for the spot of leading the clan, but the bears within them tended to be irrational during times like that – another reason why werebears tended to prefer keeping distance between them, even if clan relationships were well moderated.

Now, he had had to come back, and it was stirring up a lot more than he had anticipated. His bear had become restless, rearing his demanding head ever since Julian had stepped off the chopper. All the senses he had felt dulling over the years came flooding back, filling him with the deep, primal energy that resided in every werebear. His bear remembered their youth, when Julian had not gone out of his way to squash his werebear side under the guise of becoming a better human, and he wanted to taste it again. The fresh mountain air, the wide open spaces and the steep mountainsides called to Julian, as well as his bear, urging him to shrug off the past and give in to what he was, who he was. But, he couldn’t. Not yet. He had worked too hard to control himself and to make the bear work for him, not against him.

Control it, Julian,
he told himself darkly, standing up and heading towards the kitchen.

He had done the unthinkable a few days ago – cleaned for himself. All of his wealth and prestige did little for him in the foothills of the Cabinet Mountains. There was no one around to be dazzled by his money, and, frankly, he found himself enjoying the fact that he’d have to deal with the smaller things in life all of a sudden. He couldn’t remember when he had last bought his own groceries before coming back to Montana. There was something to be said for simplicity.

Julian grabbed a glass from the shelf and a bottle of gin and vermouth. He poured himself a quick dirty Martini, using just a splash of vermouth. Bringing it to his lips, he closed his eyes and swallowed the contents of the glass with one swift gulp. The alcohol went down his throat, blazing a path all the way to his stomach. He rarely drank, but after seeing Susie, he thought he deserved a drink or two to congratulate himself on not ripping her clothes off then and there.

Damn, she looked good,
he thought, pouring himself another drink.
Not a day older than when I left, yet, so much sexier.

Julian took his drink and stalked to the couch with the best view of the fire, sitting down with a loud plop. His expression was somber, his mind assaulted by thoughts and memories that he had ignored and repressed for years. The bear was closer to the surface than he had felt it in years. He knew it was a combination of being back home, as well as seeing Susie. The big number of werebears in the area didn’t help either. His animal side wanted to break free, and it was becoming hard to control it as well as he was used to.

All those years in New York, his bear had fallen into some kind of hibernation. Julian had had the privilege of using all of the impossible drive and determination that came with being a werebear, but the bear had been content to simply watch from the sidelines. He hadn’t shifted in years, not since leaving home. Not since… Julian took another sip, his fingers squeezing the glass tightly. It wasn’t something he enjoyed thinking about.

How can she ever trust me after that? How can I trust myself? I promised I’d never hurt her again, but what if I can’t control myself around her again. Damn it, that woman…
Julian wetted his lips, the bitter taste of gin coating his mouth. For a long time after he had left, he had tried to make sense of what he wanted to be. He knew he didn’t want to hurt the ones he loved, so leaving seemed like the best thing to do to avoid posing a threat to them anymore. Often, he’d wondered if he’d done the right thing, but throwing himself into his work had helped him forget about the past. The wealth and the trials of the human business word brought new difficulties, new problems to deal with, and Julian had gladly pushed his past, along with his bear, to the furthest recesses of his mind. 

His thoughts kept wandering back to an evening more than ten years ago. He cringed as the memory came to him in vivid clarity. Julian could almost feel the softness of Susie’s skin under his hands, his lips, and the sexy little noise she made when he kissed down her chest and neck. They’d been dating for years during school and he’d always been a perfect gentleman. But, the older they got, the less they wanted to be good. That night, it was going to change. She’d be his first and he’d be hers. But, that’s not quite how things went. Susie knew about Julian and his brothers, and his bear heritage had never bothered her. He’d even shown her how he shifted a few times and she hadn’t been afraid, which had made him all the more sure that she was the one for him – his mate, the woman that was meant for him. Julian’s father had urged him to be careful, to not get ahead of himself, but both Julian and his bear knew that she had to be the one. There was no other way.

So, when it had all gone down the drain, it had been almost impossibly painful to deal with. His bear growled within him, emitting a deep rumbling sound from his throat as Julian struggled with his thoughts. He remembered the last kiss they had shared, her ruby lips on his, their tongues intertwined. His hands had just slipped under her shirt, caressing her soft stomach. And then, everything had gone down the drain. His focus wavered and the bear burst through, taking him by surprise. It took time for a young werebear to learn how to harness the power of his bear the way he needed, and during times of great stress or excitement, the control could waver. He had picked the most inopportune time for that to happen.