Authors: J.L. Weil
Moondust (7 page)
I think Morgana just wanted to torment me.
Her visits had become few and far between, so why not today? It was already a pretty strange day, and I was feeling overwhelmed. Her timing was always impeccable.
To add another layer of demented to my life, Morgana didn’t call me in my sleep. She summoned me while I was still awake.
WTF
?
No sooner had I sent my last text to Lukas
than I started to feel a coldness wash over me. Rolling over on my back, I took a deep breath, eyes fixed on the ceiling. I knew the moment the ice touched my blood that something was going to happen. If there was one thing that I was getting good at, it was recognizing things as supernatural.
I blinked
, which might have been a mistake.
A blinding white light fl
ashed behind my eyes. The kind that leaves your vision impaired with glowing circles.
Just relax
, said a voice inside my head.
Don’t fight it.
I forced my limbs to go lax, letting myself get sucked under.
It was like daydreaming
on crack.
The foggy white mist began to fade from my vision and was replaced by a deep purple and orange sunset. The lines streaked across the horizon.
Tall elms encased the small clearing where I found myself with a spectacular view of a calm pond. The setting sun reflected off the water making it appear blacker than its apparently usual crystal blue.
I shook my head. A minute ago I had been staring at the
fractures in my ceiling and now I was in paradise. Morgana stepped into the glade. Her long red hair glittered in the sunset, flowing over her bare shoulders. She had on a fluid dress that trailed behind her over the mossy grass. It was modest compared to some of the other getups I had seen her in. For the first time, I saw a different side of her—less seductive and more saintly.
I grinned.
“It’s been awhile, Grams.”
She made a funny face
, purplish eyes twinkling. “You make me sound old.”
“You are old. Like thousands of years old.”
She tapped a nail on her lips, which were fuchsia today instead of blood red. “Oh right. But you have to admit I look fabulous for my age.”
That she did,
and I bet she could make herself appear however she desired. I actually missed her. Who would have thunk? It seemed like a lifetime ago when I thought she was trying to kill me. “You summoned me, Oh Mighty One.”
Her lips pursed. “Hmm. I could get used to that. It has a nice ring.”
I rolled my eyes. Only Morgana would take my sarcasm and turn into flattery. “I was wondering when I was going to see you again. I have only about a gazillion questions for you. It crossed my mind that maybe you abandoned me.”
She tried to hide the sad look that popped into her eyes, but she wasn’t quick enough
; I’d seen it. Our time together would eventually come to an end and neither of us wanted to admit that it would royally suck. “So have you figured out my little riddle yet, love?” she asked.
I tucked my hair behind my ears, trying to keep it from blowing in my face.
“You mean have I decided which one is going to destroy me? The answer is no.”
“Time is ticking.”
I gave her a dry glare.
Thanks for the nasty reminder.
She waved a hand in the air. “Alright. Fine. Ask away.”
“What exactly do you mean one will destroy me?” I needed a little more clarity here. Would one of them kill me? Or was it less literal, like one will ruin my life?
She looped her arm thro
ugh mine and started to stroll, her soft slippers squishing the on the grass. “It is the soul you need to concern yourself with.”
“My soul,” I repeated. “The blackness.”
She nodded. “There is both light and dark magic inside you. Most witches are born light and turn to darkness, but our bloodline is born with both. The choice is yours.”
Wow. I didn’t really think it was much of a choice. Good or bad?
Duh. I choose good
.
“And
you’re positive this will come to pass?” I asked.
She gave a ladylike snort.
“Is my name Morgana Le Fay?”
I rolled my eyes.
She paused at the water’s edge, gazing out. “No daughter of mine will be claimed by darkness, not like I was. It is why I am here—to save you from enduring a fate such as mine.”
God
, was I doomed? If Morgana hadn’t been able to resist the temptation of power, how would I? She was the strongest witch I knew, even if she were technically dead. “You gave yourself to darkness?”
She sighed, and it was the first time I saw trouble brew in her stormy eyes. “I did. And it control
led me for many, many years. It took precious time I could never get back—never make up for. That, my dear, is why I have a very special interest in your success. Before I passed onto the other side, I rectified my wrongs. I cleansed my magic, my soul. But it was too late for me. The damage was done, irreparable at that point.”
“What happened?”
She raised her face into the breeze. It carried a light scent of sea and pine. “I got a taste of the most alluring magic I’d ever felt. Combine that with a hot guy and love—I was destined to sink.”
I snorted.
“I can’t believe you were in love.”
A small smirk curved the corner of her lips. “
It feels like yesterday.”
Scuffing my feet as we walked, I asked,
“What happened to him?”
Her mouth twisted
, looking dark and ill-omened. “Why he joined me in Hell of course.”
Gulp.
Well, that just put a disconsolate damper on things. “Your soul is in H-Hell?” I couldn’t even get the word out. It seemed too horrible to imagine. I knew that she was capable of unthinkable things, but I had come to know her, to care about her. Hell was no place for Morgana.
She turned me to toward her, framing her hands on my face. “Don’t worry for me, lo
ve. It’s not so bad: I got to see you. And if it is the last act I do, I will ensure that you don’t join me.”
If I had any doubts about Morgana’s loyalty or her motives, they were squashed.
The sheer determination in her eyes and the electric current at her fingertips did the trick. “This is all just so much,” I mumbled.
Straightening up to her full height, she lifted her chin.
“No one said being a witch was a walk in the park.” She started walking again and I jogged to catch up, following her on a dirt path. “So how is Dark and Handsome handling your powers?” she asked.
“Like I never t
ried to drain him of his powers,” I mumbled.
“That bothers you,” she said in more of a statement than a question.
I gave a lopsided shrug.
“And the other
—the dream stalker?”
The woods opened up to a
rocky shore. “He doesn’t know…yet,” I added. The plan was to tell him tomorrow.
Her delicate brows lifted.
“Hmm. Why the hesitation? I assumed by your troubled heart that you would have already spilled the beans.”
My stomach tumbled over itself.
“I’m afraid to trust anyone, even myself. What if I end up hurting him, or worse?” Taking witches’ powers was as bad as stealing their souls. I might as well just plunge a knife in their backs.
She scoffed.
“Sounds like a lame excuse.”
Was it just an excuse? Was I making things so much more complex because I was letting my fear rule me? I was so afraid of this power inside me
that I couldn’t see clearly.
I swallowed the lump that had suddenly formed in my throat.
“Sophie says that the darkness in my soul is growing.”
Her violet eyes sobered. “And it will. Every time you take an ounce of magic from another witch, it will blacken your heart. You don’t use that kind of magic without a hefty price, dear.”
“What if I am unable to stop myself from using it?” I knew that there was panic in my eyes as I looked up at her.
She looked directly into my eyes, and it was almost like looking at my reflection.
“Do not doubt yourself. There is power in belief. Trust in that. Trust in your choices. They will make you stronger.”
Ugh. She made it sound like a piece of cake.
“I wish I could steal some of your confidence.”
She laughed. “I think you have plenty. It’s in your blood. You just need to unleash it.”
My shoulders sagged. “Tell me you have a spell for that.”
Her hands touched my shoulders.
“Not everything can be fixed with a spell. The storm is coming, Brianna. Be prepared.” Those were her final words before the white light blinded me and I was once again staring at my ceiling.
The doorbell rang, and I jumped even though I was expecting him. I thought about asking Gavin to be here with me when I told Lukas, but then I remembered that they couldn’t stand each other. I didn’t want my house to suffer any damage from their fireworks.
So it was just Lukas and
me—and my huge secret.
Disheveled frat boy.
That was my first impression when I opened the door and saw Lukas. The North Carolina sun was hidden behind gloomy clouds as if the skies felt my nervousness, but it didn’t matter. When Lukas smiled, he brought the sun.
I frowned.
“Why do you look like you just won the lottery?” His cheerfulness made me leery; it felt like he had a trick up his sleeve.
Leaning his shoulder on
the doorframe, he said, “I’m just happy you came to your senses.”
I wrinkled my nose.
“You’re weird.”
Unfazed, he brushed
past me into the house, and I shut the door behind him. “That’s not the response I usually get.”
Lunar took one peek at the newco
mer and bolted out of the room, nails catching on the carpet. I glanced at the fuzz-ball. “I bet. Lucky for you, I am anything but normal.”
His eyes laughed.
“It’s why I like you best.”
When he said stuff like
that, it made me uncomfortable. My cheeks flushed, and I shook my head helplessly. “Do you even go to classes anymore? You are still in college aren’t you?” I thought about his just popping into my school the other day.
He made himself
right at home, stretching out on the couch, his long legs extending under the glass coffee table. “If the mood strikes me,” he replied, settling.
I bit my lip,
enough with the pleasantries. He was making me edgy. I was trying to take Morgana’s advice, find my inner confidence, so I blurted out, “What is going on with you? Lately, you don’t seem yourself.” I took a seat on the chair across from him, my leg bouncing.
Angling his
head to the side, he looked me in the eye. “I could say the same about you.”
Okay
, I deserved that because I hadn’t been myself, but what was his excuse? Maybe I should have lain off the coffee this morning; I was jittery. “If you only knew,” I muttered.
His eyes sharpened,
his demeanor losing some of its carefreeness. “I would if you told me instead of pretending everything is fine when it is clearly not.”
Touché.
I tensed up. “Well then, you might want to brace yourself. I still haven’t gotten over the shock.”
He crossed his arms
over his grey t-shirt, legs kicked out in front of him, and a hint of a smile on his lips. “You forget. I already know.”
I hadn’t forgotten
—not by a long shot, but I wanted to hear him say it. “How is that? I’ve told no one.”
He didn’t bat an eye.
“Not even your boyfriend?”
Silence.
My protective instincts flared.
“That’s what I thought.” T
here was smugness in his voice.
I rushed
into defensive mode. “It’s not like you think. I didn’t give him a choice.” I took a deep breath and admitted what was hard for me to say. “I’m a clàr silte.” After the words flew from my mouth, I waited for him to express outrage or to scramble for the door.
Emerald eyes
held steady on mine, he said, “There, that wasn’t so bad, was it?”
W
ow. Not the reaction I had been expecting, but he had warned me. I guess deep down, I didn’t believe that he really knew what I was because, if he did, I didn’t understand how he could continue to be my friend. It didn’t make sense to me.
My eyes narrowed
. “How do you know what I only just found out?”
“
It’s simple really. Our bloodlines have crossed before,” he said as if he weren’t dropping another atomic bomb.
At first I thought he was kidding, but as I st
ared at him, I came to realize he was being serious—dead serious.
Will everything
that comes out of his mouth shock me?
I gaped at him.
Upon seeing my open mouth, he continued. “Don’t tell me you are that surprised. We have a connection, and I know you’ve felt it.”
There was
no denial from my lips. For as long as I could remember, I’d felt a kinship with Lukas. It was the main reason I had been so relaxed with him and so open about my life. I tried to connect the dots that were swimming around in my head. What did he mean, connection? He mentioned bloodlines… “You’re related to Morgana too?” I asked. What other kind of connection could he be talking about? I know that it had to do with our similar powers.
He made a yuck face.
“Ew. That would be awkward considering I’ve kissed you. No. Not to Morgana, but to her lover.”
I felt like I had just been sucker punched.
Less than 24 hours ago I had just learned that Morgana had practiced the dark arts, and that it was the guy she loved who had pushed her further and further to the darker side of magic. “How is this possible?” I demanded. Annoyance stirred inside me. I was tired of Lukas’s keeping things from me. I understood why he might not blurt out that I was a witch during a dream. Anyone would have dismissed it as wacky subconscious, but everything after that… If I was supposed to trust him, why keep so many secrets? Why hadn’t he just sat me down and told me the truth?
His shoulders squared.
“They had a blood bond, linking their bloodlines. It is how I was able to find you.”
I
thrust my fingers into my hair. “This is crazy.”
That hint of a smirk appeared on his lips again.
“Maybe, but I think crazy is our style.”
Why hadn’t Morgana told me about the
relation between Lukas and… I realized I didn’t know who
he
was. “Explain,” I insisted.
Drawing in a breath, he leaned forward
, putting his elbows on his knees. “Enrec was a witch who shared many of Morgana’s gifts, just as we do, but not all of them. They forged a bond of magic and blood until she ripped the magic from his soul, but the link they created lived on through the generations. Their joined blood flows through our veins.”
It sounded like he was reciting from a fairytale
—unbelievable. “Are you trying to tell me that our lives are entwined together?” I didn’t want to believe it. I couldn’t. Not that I didn’t care for Lukas. I did. But what about my feelings for Gavin? Those were very real… and very intense—an intensity that I didn’t feel with Lukas.
Confusion clouded my head.
I knew that I had wavered between the two for months now, but deep down in my heart, I was positive that Gavin was
the one
. If what Lukas said was true, then how could my heart be so very wrong? How could I not love Lukas in the same way I loved Gavin?
My stomach dropped.
Did I make a grave mistake? Or was this a sign not to repeat history—not to follow in Morgana’s footsteps.
Lukas
stood up upon seeing the bewilderment scroll through my eyes and walked to where I was. He propped a hip on the arm of the chair. “Yes,” he said directly. “Would that be so horrible?” There was a soft vulnerability in his eyes I’d never seen before, like I had the power to hurt him.
I sat back against the cushions, feeling
as if the ground were slipping out from underneath me. “I don’t know. I’m sorry. This is all just—” my voice broke.
There was a shadow of
something—pain, sadness, or anger? I couldn’t decipher which, but it didn’t matter. He masked it quickly. He caressed my cheek, lifted my face, and I let him. “Take as much time as you need; I’ll be waiting for you.”
His head dipped, and
I thought he was going to kiss me. I held my breath, but he stopped short. I couldn’t tell whether I was relieved or disappointed. Either way, it would have just complicated matters, and I was pretty sure I couldn’t handle any more layers of complexity. I watched him stride across the room and slip out the door.
Overwhelmed, I
sat there, unmoving, processing what I had learned. My feelings were all over the place, and I felt pressured now more than ever. Was it wrong that I didn’t want to hurt anyone? Did I follow my heart? After my impromptu visit with Morgana, I’d had a renewed sense of confidence in my choices, but now, Lukas’s little revelation knocked that assurance down a few pegs, leaving me once again confused—and vulnerable.
It sucked.
Gavin found me in the same spot a few hours later. I looked up, startled to see him. In a daze, I studied the lines of his face, the sharp angles of his cheeks. His eyes were incredibly blue. Fireflies warmed my tummy.
“
Why do you look like your world is collapsing all around you?” he asked, concern lacing his dark voice.
“Bec
ause that is exactly how I feel,” I grumbled, hugging one of the couch’s decorative pillows.
His brow shot up, the silver hoop
in it glinting off the soft glow of lamplight. He must have flipped on the lights because the darkness was gone. Taking the empty spot next to me, he lifted me into his lap.
Instantly, I
rested my head on his shoulder. “There have been some new developments in my totally screwed-up life.” Being in his arms felt so natural, so right. He felt right.
Brushing
the hair off my neck, he produced tingles all over me with his touch. “Why do I get the feeling that I am not going to like what you are about to tell me?”
I swallowed. “I saw
Lukas today,” I blurted. It almost sounded painful.
He groaned
, his arms tightening around me. “I really want to kick that piss-ant’s ass.”
My lips twitched.
“He told me that our bloodlines are linked.” Just as I was afraid, the muscles in his body tightened. I tilted my head back so I could look into his face.
“
And you believe him?” Doubt was carved into every line of his expression.
I nodded. “I had a visit
from Morgana. She told me how she gave in to the darkness, and how a guy was responsible for her downfall.”
Fierce determination set in his jaw
. “That won’t be you. I won’t let it be.”
I placed my hand on his chest.
“I’m counting on it, but that doesn’t change that I might have some kind of link with Lukas.”
Jealous
y leapt into his eyes, lighting them like twin blue flames. “I don’t like it. Something feels wrong. I know it in my gut. You can’t trust what he says, Bri.”
I envied that he was
so confident about his instincts.
Clarification
.
That is what I need.
“And if I do have some predestined connection to Lukas, what does that mean for us?” The words felt like acid in my mouth. I hated that we were even having this discussion, and I realized that I didn’t want to be linked to Lukas. If I had to be fated to end up with someone, I wanted it to be Gavin.
His hand touched my cheek.
“It doesn’t have to change anything. The future is still yours to decide. Don’t let him get inside your head. You and I, we make sense. I won’t let you go, not without a fight.”
That was what I was afraid of.
And if I had to let him go, what then?
I shuddered.
Anguish flickered in his darkened eyes. “Unless, of course, you don’t feel—” he added.
I silenced him with a kiss. “My
love for you is not in question. I wish it was you,” I whispered. It was the honest-to-God truth. I loved Gavin. I was head-over-heels-crazy in love with him. No one else made me feel like he did. And if I was going to start trusting in myself, I needed to trust in my instincts, which were screaming for me to kiss him again. So I did.
I might
be linked to Lukas, but that didn’t mean my heart belonged him. It was still mine to give to whomever I chose. And I picked Gavin.
F
ate be damned.