Moonlight Murder: An Inept Witches Mystery (24 page)

“
Sam?
”

Nothing. He didn
’
t move. He was either unconscious or dead.

“
Owen,
”
Emily cried out.
“
If this psycho kills me, my ghost will find your ghost, and I will literally make the rest of your existence terrible. Do you hear me?
”

She heard Owen
’
s voice chuckling and looked at Ingrid.
“
Ugh. He
’
s such a pain in the ass.
”

Ingrid nodded, agreeing with Emily’s assessment of their resident ghost.
“
Yeah, I would say so. He
’
s a dickhead. We
’
ve established this. Sam
’
s hands were shaking. I can
’
t believe he pulled off that tackle. Of course
…
he didn
’
t. But he attempted it. That being said, I still think you need to dump him.
”

Tia watched them. She looked at Sam, unmoving, and apparently decided he wasn
’
t a threat. In the lunacy of the last few minutes, Emily wasn
’
t sure where Maria was. Until she heard her sniffling behind her.

Emily made an effort to calm Sheldon
’
s sister.
“
Maria, it
’
s fine. Don
’
t worry. Tia thinks that she has the upper hand, but she has no idea how powerful we really are.
”

“
I
’
m not sure if we know how powerful we really are, Emily,
”
Ingrid joked.

Then Sam woke up. And started sniveling like a child.
“
What was that, Emily?
”

“
Ghost,
”
Emily said, sighing.

“
Ghosts are real?
”
His voice was now an octave higher.

“
Oh, for the love, you idiot. I
’
m a witch. Of course ghosts are real.
”

He tried to move, but the ghost held him in place. Sam
’
s face was pale, and Emily could see his lip quivering and his eyes pinched around the corners. Were his eyes actually filling with tears? Emily sighed. This breakup was inevitable. Tia wasn
’
t even scary so much as a fruit loop. Even when wielding a gun. I mean, please. Even though she was a murderer, she really wasn’t a threat. Emily realized even as she thought it that that sentiment made no sense.

“
Um, yeah. If you are this terrified of a ghost, I
’
m gonna have to break up with you. It
’
s a shame, because you are pretty hot, but I like my men firmly grounded in the realization that I am a witch and therefore magic and ghosts exist. That doesn
’
t seem like too much to ask. If this irritating, but relatively harmless ghost has got you this freaked, well, this is really nothing. Right, Ingrid?
” Just because the ghost had tossed him across the room was no reason to lose his nerve. He was a fireman for crying out loud. Of course, she was a little freaked by Owen. He hadn’t been very nice before he was murdered.

“
I agree, Emily. Dump Sam. Dump him now.
”

Owen
’
s laughter filled the store and the pages of the unshelved books were flapping in a wind that came from nowhere.

“
Plus,
”
Emily went on,
“
if you and I are both not in a relationship, going to Europe becomes much easier. Don
’
t you think?
”

“
Shut up, you two,
”
Tia interrupted.
“
Just shut up. I need to think. This ghost is freaking me out. Can’t you make it stop?
”

“
This got a little out of hand, right dove?
”
Ingrid asked.
“
I know how things can get out of control. Let us help you. We know you didn
’
t mean to hurt us. And no…dickhead didn’t listen to us while living. In fact, he’s sort of terrifying but you have to be braver Tia, especially if you are going down the road of cold-blooded killer dove.
”

“
Ha!
”
Emily said.
“
Speak for yourself, Ingrid.
”

Sam decided to speak up at this moment.
“
Don
’
t antagonize her, Emily. She
’
s got a gun.
”

Emily rolled her eyes. He hadn
’
t even commented when she
’
d just broken up with him. What a dumbass. It might be a little weird, she admitted, to break up with someone when they were being threatened with death, but Emily would still have preferred a reaction. Emily silently acknowledged that the ghost situation was a little frightening, but she wasn’t going to give in to that fear. Isn’t that what heroes did in all the best stories? They’d be terrified to the point of peeing themselves but they’d act brave until their last breath. So that’s what she would do. Fake it until she made it. And not pee herself.

Ingrid and Emily looked at each other then back at Sam.

“
Shut up, Sam,
”
they said in unison and then laughed.

He sat against the wall, looking terrified. Maria was crying. Tia was pacing in a frenzy. And Emily and Ingrid just looked around the shop.

Tia crossed the room and tied each of them up. The twine bit into Emily’s wrists fiercely and her bravado was a little harder to maintain. She didn’t like the feel of being helpless one little bit.

Emily broke the sound of silence.
“
This place just keeps getting messier. I'm glad we didn
’
t spend much time cleaning it yesterday. I would be super pissed about that right now if we had.
”

Chapter 12

A Blaze of Glory

“
Well, this just feels typical.
”
Ingrid said. She looked over at Emily and Maria. Sheldon
’
s sister
’
s eyes were wild and she was terrified. Tears were rolling down her face in great streams and there were rivulets of snot. It was disgusting. Emily, on the other hand, looked furious. Ingrid hated being haunted so much she didn’t even have words. This ghost had to go. It had been fine when he’d seemed harmless and they could just screw with him. But now…she wanted to run as fast as she could anywhere else.

“
Once we
’
re free,
”
Emily said.
“
I am going to figure out a way to exorcise that fiend. And pay someone else to clean this place up.
”

“
You should have done it already,
”
Maria shouted.
“
We
’
re going to die. Oh, oh
…”

The wails began, and Tia
’
s gaze darted between the three of them.
“
Shut up, just shut up. This wasn
’
t supposed to be like this. I was just supposed to find that idiot Ingrid.
”

“
Rude,
”
Emily and Ingrid said in unison.

“
It doesn
’
t make sense why he wanted you. We were perfect together.
”
Tia wiped a hand across her face.

“
Oh, someone stab me in the eye,
”
Emily moaned.
“
She
’
s snotting and crying and bemoaning that jerk Sheldon.
”

“
We might as well have little kids,
”
Ingrid said,
“
for all the tantrums that are happening around here.
”

“
Don
’
t even start about kids. We don
’
t need kids. We need more wine.
”

“
Wine is what got us into this,
”
Ingrid replied, yanking at her cords. They were too tight though. And they were going to leave quite a mark.
“
He wanted my money, Tia. Sheldon dumped me the second I accidentally cut off his thumb and if he thought he could weasel his way back into my life, he was wrong.
”

“
He, he, he, I,
”
the wail began again low in Tia
’
s throat.

“
Man, I want to kill her,
”
Emily said.
“
It
’
s possible she actually loved that guy. I mean, he did Autumn. He didn
’
t have any standards whatsoever.
”

“
Who
’
s Autumn?
”
Tia
’
s voice was dangerous but the crying had stopped. That was something.

Neither of them even glanced at her.

“
We can
’
t start murdering people now,
”
Ingrid looked around for a convenient box knife or some other such fortunate item that would show up if this were a movie. No such luck.

“
You guys are crazy. You
’
re talking like we aren
’
t tied up. You
’
re acting like this is normal. You are totally insane. I don
’
t know why I wanted to be your friend. I just need to find normal people or something. I need a knitting circle.
”
Maria was pulling at her wrists as if she would be able to just break out.

Emily laughed.
“
A knitting circle? Are you crazy? Those women will own you.
”

“
We are tied up,
”
Maria shouted.
“
We are going to die. And you are chatting like this is a coffee shop and you
’
re waiting for your croissant.
”

“
Oooh,
”
Ingrid said.
“
I could really go for one of Papa Pandolfi
’
s chocolate croissants.
”

There was a pounding at the door.

“
There it is,
”
Ingrid said, stretching her neck, trying to hide the flood of relief.
“
Finally.
”

“
You think it
’
s Dickhead screwing with her now?
”
Emily asked, jerking her head towards Tia.

“
No,
”
Ingrid replied.
“
I think it
’
s probably Gabe coming to save the day. I am never going to hear the end of this.
”

“
Gabe?
”
Tia demanded, frantically searching the bookstore as if it weren
’
t shelves, piles of books, and dirt.
“
Why would you think Gabe?
”

“
If anyone around here knows the sound of furious Gabe, it
’
s Ingrid.
”
Emily snorted.
“
Oh, and I called him before you got here. Which doesn
’
t mean he
’
d come over, but Ingrid super pissed him off, so he probably was going to. Plus we asked who your alibi was.
”

“
I did super piss off my handsome dove. Man, speaking of murdering people, I wonder if I should feel threatened right now.
”

“
Shut up, I
’
m going to kill you.
”

“
Nah, that doesn
’
t make me feel afraid.
”
Ingrid replied.
“
I really don
’
t think you will. I mean
Sheldon.
For
Sheldon’s death
you can make up all sorts of lies. Who can contradict you? You kill us with Gabe outside the door, and he
’
ll probably kill you back and then claim justified homicide. And Kevin will back him up because you cheated on him, and we
’
ll all be dead. No one wants that.
”