More Than a Dream (27 page)

‘‘He’s at the house!’’ Gus hollered from his post at the lane, then ran behind her as she galloped on. Pulling the horse to a sliding stop at the gate, she fell into Gus’s arms and let him half carry her up the steps and into the kitchen.

‘‘Where?’’

‘‘In Pa’s bed.’’

‘‘Get water boiling.’’

‘‘I have.’’ Rebecca turned from the stove, tears streaming down her white cheeks.

Ingeborg entered the room where Anji leaned over one side of the bed and Dorothy the other. Swen lay on the pillows, his face whiter than snow, a bruise on his forehead a blotch of purple and red. The strain of his breathing filled the room, punctuated by sniffs from the two laboring over him.

‘‘Don’t die, Swen. Please don’t die.’’ Dorothy stroked his face when his eyes fluttered open.

‘‘Water.’’ A wince followed his croak, and he reached for her with his shaking hand. She took his hand and held it while Anji lifted his head to take a sip of water.

Ingeborg took all this in with a glance that included the bloodstains on the sheet that covered him.

‘‘I . . . I’m cold.’’

Ingeborg bit her lip, trying to hold back the tears. So many times she’d fought the specter of death, but now she could tell it had gained a stronghold that only a miracle of God would cure.

Anji looked at her, hope lightening her sorrow. ‘‘Thank you for coming so soon.’’

‘‘Ja.’’ Ingeborg lifted the sheet and fought the gagging at the sight. She let the sheet settle back into place.

Oh, God, Father of us all, you know there is nothing I can do
. She met Anji’s questioning gaze and gave a minuscule shake of her head. Anji reached for her hand and clutched so hard, she dug her fingernails into Ingeborg’s palm.

‘‘I . . . I’m sorry.’’ The whispered words floated on the air, like miasma from a swamp.

‘‘We must pray.’’ Anji fell to her knees, her glance to the others encouraging them to do the same.

‘‘Has anyone gone for Pastor Solberg?’’

‘‘Gus was to go as soon as he met you.’’

The pounding of a horse’s hooves and the creaking of a buggy told of the arrival of Haakan and Knute.

Ingeborg knelt by the bed, laying her free hand on Swen’s arm so still by his side.
Lord, help us
. She felt Haakan’s hands on both of her shoulders, his strength pouring into her through the clench of his fingers.

‘‘Heavenly Father . . .’’ Anji choked on the words. ‘‘All we have is you. You are our strength and our redeemer, our healer, our Lord. Please, if you can see a way, bring healing and life back to my brother. This wound is far beyond what we can care for.’’

Ingeborg’s tears dripped to her chest. She watched as Swen’s eyelashes lifted and his gaze cleared. He smiled at his wife, only a slight lifting of the corners of his mouth, and raised his hand to touch her cheek. When his eyes drifted closed, he breathed his last. The silence in the room wore a hush as those in attendance waited, hoping beyond hope that God would indeed intervene.

‘‘G-go with God.’’ Dorothy laid her head on Swen’s open hand and soaked it with her tears.

Ingeborg gathered Anji into her arms and leaned back against Haakan. Rebecca dug her way into the fold and together they cried for the life so rudely snuffed out, for themselves and what might have been.

Knute stood with his hands on Swen’s wife’s shoulders. ‘‘I’m going to shoot that bull!’’

Haakan raised a hand. ‘‘No, I will take him home with me. We will cut off his horns and link a chain from the horn stumps and down through the ring in his nose. You cannot afford to destroy him. He is only a dumb animal.’’

‘‘And if he kills someone else?’’

‘‘Has he been dangerous before?’’

‘‘No more so than any other. You never trust a bull.’’

‘‘And right you are.’’ Haakan motioned toward the door. ‘‘Come.’’

As the men left, Ingeborg dried her eyes and turned to Dorothy. ‘‘I will wash him. You go in the kitchen and put cool cloths on your eyes. Drink some water and remember what a fine young man he was. While we are deep in sorrow, he is meeting his Lord, and we can rejoice for that. We too will stand in His glory one day.’’

Dorothy laid a hand on her belly. ‘‘Dear Swen, if this one I carry is a boy, he will carry your name.’’ She mopped her tears again and pushed herself to her feet. She stopped at the door. ‘‘And this started out to be such a beautiful day.’’

‘‘I will help you.’’ Anji paused beside Ingeborg.

‘‘No. This is the last I can do for him. You go comfort the others.’’

Anji left the room, and Ingeborg took the pan of water sitting by the bed, cooled now from the wait. She washed Swen’s face and neck and down his chest where they had removed his shirt. She took the rolled bandages from her basket and wrapped them around his body from chest to hip. Going to the hooks along the wall, she took down a shirt and lovingly dressed him in it, closing each buttonhole with fingers gentle as only a mother’s hands can be.

When she was finished with the rest of his clothes, Ingeborg stepped back. ‘‘Say hello to your mother for me,’’ she whispered. ‘‘And tell her, although I know you needn’t, that she can be proud of each of you. Such fine folk you’ve turned out to be.’’ She wiped her eyes again. ‘‘Ah, this poor family. Such sorrow to bear.’’ She could hear hammering out in the barn and knew that Haakan and Knute were already making the box.

‘‘Ingeborg?’’ Pastor Solberg stepped inside the door and joined her at the foot of the bed. ‘‘Lord God, help us all.’’

‘‘I know. So many deaths lately. And . . .’’ She raised her hands then dropped them back to her sides. ‘‘There was nothing I could do. Like trying to hold water in your hand, the life just ran out of him.’’

‘‘You got here before he died?’’

‘‘Yes, for all the good it did. I could do nothing for him. Sometimes I wish we had a doctor here, but no doctor could have helped him either.’’ She turned from staring at the still face, the slight smile still in place. ‘‘That bull, to be so vicious, and now Haakan says we will take it home. It’s not like Swen was careless around that creature. We all know not to be.’’

Solberg laid a hand on her shoulder. ‘‘I know. Accidents happen. Is there anything I can do for you?’’

She shook her head. ‘‘Not unless you can turn the clock back and make this all unhappen.’’

Pastor Solberg sighed. ‘‘The Lord is my God, and I will praise him. In times of trouble I will call upon his name. He walks with me through the valley of the shadow of death.’’ He sighed again. ‘‘I know nothing but what He says, and I believe every word. I know that my redeemer lives and I know that Swen and Joseph and Agnes are together this day, basking in the light of our heavenly Father.’’

‘‘I know that too, but right now I am having a hard time accepting it.’’

‘‘Ja, me too.’’

Ingeborg wandered into the kitchen to find Anji kneading bread dough as if to beat it into the table. The screeching table legs told the story of punishment being given. Ingeborg wisely left Anji to her labors and wandered outside to find Dorothy with Gus and Rebecca, the three arm in arm with Dorothy murmuring gently to them.

Hammering still echoed from the barn.

‘‘Can I get you something?’’ Ingeborg hated the feeling of being at loose ends.

Dorothy raised tear-filled eyes and shook her head.

‘‘Where is Mr. Moen?’’ Ingeborg asked.

‘‘Gone to Grand Forks for a couple of days to talk with some people there.’’

‘‘Ah, just when Anji needs him most.’’ Ingeborg wiped her nose again.

‘‘Ja, I suppose.’’ Blinking hard, the young wife kept the tears at bay. She stood patting the two younger ones in the same smooth motion, then left them to join Ingeborg on the porch. ‘‘You have to talk with Anji. I know she is going to postpone the wedding because of this, and I cannot let her do that.’’

‘‘But that is proper.’’

‘‘I know but . . .’’ Dorothy shook her head. ‘‘It may be proper, but it isn’t right. The tickets for the steamship are bought and everything. She and Mr. Moen need to go and start a life together.’’

‘‘But . . .’’ Ingeborg stopped. ‘‘Gus and Rebecca can come stay with us until she gets back.’’

Another shake of the head. ‘‘No. I will care for them in my house. Knute will live here.’’ When Ingeborg started to interrupt, she laid a hand on her arm. ‘‘Can’t you see? That will help me too. I-I cannot bear to be there alone.’’ Her shoulders shook then straightened. ‘‘Not yet.’’

‘‘I do see. I hadn’t thought ahead.’’
And you, poor child, have
thought of others in this terrible time. What a fine woman you are
.

‘‘You will help me persuade them?’’

‘‘Ja, I will help you.’’

Some time later, with the bull plodding docilely behind the buggy, Haakan drove them home.

‘‘I wish you hadn’t brought him.’’ Ingeborg nodded over her shoulder.

‘‘We have some cows due to be bred. People will have to bring them here rather than the bull to them, that is all. With beef cattle we could just turn him loose in the pasture.’’

‘‘You think the corral is strong enough?’’

‘‘Andrew and I will make sure of it. I don’t think this bull is intentionally savage. I think Swen just got between him and a cow. We’ll never know.’’ Haakan pushed back his hat, revealing the white line that divided his forehead. With three fingers he rubbed the ridges that grew in both number and depth as time passed. ‘‘What a terrible way to die.’’

Ingeborg woke in the night to find her pillow soaking wet, and it hadn’t been hot enough to sweat that much. A cooling wind had liberated the land from the daily heat and blew fresh in the window. She eased out of bed and went to stand in front of the billowing curtains, the air drying her face and lifting her nightdress.

‘‘Are you all right?’’ Haakan’s voice came gently through the dark.

‘‘Ja, I guess. I think I was having a nightmare, but now that I’m awake, it is still here.’’ She used the palms of her hands to smooth the damp tendrils of hair back from her face. ‘‘I thought God had blessed my hands for helping to heal the sickness and wounds of Blessing, but now I am beginning to wonder if I’ve done something wrong and He has taken that away.’’

‘‘Ah, my Inge, that is sorrow talking. Come here, back to bed. Morning will come too soon, and it will be a hard day for everyone.’’

But the dark thoughts didn’t stop when she returned to bed.
How can he seem so calm when this is breaking my heart? How can
I answer a call to help when lately every time I go, someone dies?
She lay still, hoping for an answer and praying she would not keep Haakan awake. Praying also for the sleep that eluded her and sent her mind in circles like Jack the mule used to cut in the grass when harnessed to draw water from the well.

Ingeborg again stole from under the sheet and tiptoed out to the kitchen, shutting the door to the bedroom on her way. She took a spill from the back of the stove and, carefully lifting the stove lid, dug free a winking coal to use to light the spill and that for the kerosene lamp. She took the lamp into the parlor, set it by her rocking chair, and lifted her Bible onto her lap. Reading the Word seemed a better use of her sleeplessness than tossing and turning. She turned to Psalms and flipped to one she knew so well she hardly needed to see the words to be able to say them herself. ‘‘The Lord raiseth them that are bowed down.’’
Oh, Lord, that is me
right now. Be the lifter of my head, for it is too heavy for me to carry.
And my heart. Be thou my vision, my shepherd, my guide
. She flipped the pages to Psalm 23, knowing Pastor would read that at the burial. Tears burned the backs of her eyes and nose.
Poor Dorothy,
so alone and expecting the baby. And Anji, Lord, make her see the
sense of what her new sister says. It matters not what some of the
others say. Oh, Lord, let there be joy for Anji
. She tipped her head back and thought to Thorliff’s graduation from high school, the joy on his and Anji’s faces, their blushes when teased, their laughter, their dreams. Slowly her eyelids drifted down and she slept with her hands on the Bible and the first twittering of birds calling up the sun that only grayed the east.

Haakan found her there and roused her with a kiss on the cheek. ‘‘Why don’t you go back to bed for a bit while we do the milking. I heard George already bringing up the cows.’’

‘‘I need to bake for the funeral.’’ She patted his cheek. ‘‘But thank you.’’ Setting her Bible to the side, she let him pull her to her feet and enfold her in his strong arms. They stood together for a moment, savoring the strength of each other and wishing the day was already past.