More Than a Mistress (24 page)

He took a half-step forwards as if to offer comfort. She held up a hand to ward him off.

‘I knew it would hurt him. I knew. And still I did it.’

‘But he forgave you?’

‘We never spoke of it. He was kind and cheerful as always. But he knew what I had done.’

‘Then he forgave you. And you must forgive yourself. He would not want you to dwell on such a small thing.’

She curled her lip. ‘It sounds simple when you say it, but what about you? You haven’t forgiven yourself for what happened at Waterloo and you came home a hero.’

‘That is different. Men died because of my stupidity. And to tell you the truth, since we talked, I seem to have come to terms with it.’

‘I’m glad.’ She was glad. Thrilled that she might have been of help. She smiled brightly. ‘At least something good came of our time together.’

‘Merry, I love you. I want to marry you. Don’t push me away.’

Love? She stared at him open-mouthed. She thought he’d come for honour and duty’s sake. Because he’d taken her to his bed. He loved her?

‘Oh,’ she said. Her legs felt weak. She sank on to the sofa.

‘I should have told you before. It took me a while to work it out. It took your leaving for me to understand my own heart.’

‘You honour me,’ she said.

‘But?’

‘It can’t work.’

He took her hand and kissed her gloved knuckles. ‘It can if you want it, too. If you love me.’

Everything she’d ever wanted shone from his eyes. Love. Affection. Honesty. She shook her head.

‘Why, Merry. Give me a reason I can understand. Tell me you don’t love me in return and I will never bother you again.’

She loved him with all her heart.

The tears, pushing up in hot waves in her throat, spilled over. ‘Charlie, what if our children are ashamed of me? I don’t want that for them. The shame and later the guilt.’

He put an arm around her shoulders and drew her against his wide chest. ‘I won’t allow it, love. They will love, honour and respect their courageous, beautiful mother or I will cast them off without a penny.’

A shaky laugh pushed its way through the tears. ‘You sound like your father.’

‘Don’t I just.’ He gave her a squeeze. ‘It won’t happen. If your parents had lived, do you think your mother would have been ashamed of your father?’

‘Oh, no. Grandfather said it was love at first sight.’

‘And do you think either one of them would have left you to the mercies of callous schoolgirls like Lady Allison? No. Your mother would have given you the tools you needed to deal with their ilk. Instead of that you had to work it out for yourself. Our children will not be ashamed of their mother because not only will they love her, but their father will make sure they respect her. They will know how brilliant you are and how beloved.’

It sounded plausible when he said it with such conviction. ‘Your father won’t like it.’

‘Father will come around.’ He shrugged. ‘And if he doesn’t, then I’ll find some gainful employment. After Waterloo, I swore I would follow the rules and never risk harming anyone else. God, I even tried to make my brother fit the same mould. He tried to tell me a life of only duty is no life at all. I wouldn’t listen. You taught me to listen, Merry, and gave me joy. Something I thought I didn’t deserve. Don’t send me back to an empty life. I need you. Together we can face the world. I would be proud to call you my wife.’

Proud? Of her? ‘How can you be?’

He kissed the tip of her nose. ‘Because you are clever and kind. You stand up for what you believe in no matter what others say. And because I love you.’

‘I love you, too.’ The words held so close to her heart she hadn’t known they were there spilled forth like heady wine. ‘I love you, Charlie.’

He let go a sigh of relief. ‘Thank you.’ He slid off the sofa and on to one knee. He withdrew a ring from his pocket. The one she’d left on the tray at Durn. ‘Merry Draycott, will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?’ He slipped the ring on her finger.

She stared down at it. Everything clicked into place, her heart, her mind, her soul, joining together with his, like some well-oiled lock. The little schoolgirl who everybody had scorned danced in circles of happiness. What had he said earlier? They would face the future together. With Charlie at her side, no one could cause her hurt. Because no one else counted. Only Charlie.

She lifted her gaze to his eyes, saw the question and the hope and the love. ‘Yes,’ she said. ‘Yes, please.’ She flung her arms around his neck.

He found her lips with his and she lost herself in his kiss.

After a while he broke away and tucked her against his chest, his arm around her shoulder. ‘Miss Draycott, you certainly know how to lead a man a merry dance.’

‘Mmmm,’ she said. ‘And I am looking forward to many more dances with you.’

He grinned. ‘Other things too,’ he said. ‘After our wedding.’

‘About the wedding. Do we have to have a grand affair in London?’

‘I want everyone to see you. To know you are the woman I have chosen as my wife. To see my pride and my happiness and gnash their teeth.’

A laugh escaped her. ‘Oh, Charlie. You couldn’t have said anything better.’

He grinned. ‘Let us be off, sweet. We can reach Durn tonight and break the news to my parents before they leave for London.’

She winced.

He rose, pulled her to her feet, and kissed her forehead. ‘Courage, love. That is what I admired about you from the first, your courage as well as your beauty.’

She raised a brow. ‘You thought I was a lightskirt.’

‘Instead you are the light of my life.’

He drew her into his arms and kissed her lips. Happiness was a bright golden thing in her heart. It filled her with warmth. True love didn’t care who your parents were, or what had happened before, she realised. True love was a beginning.

‘Has he gone?’ Caro asked, peeping around the door.

They separated like naughty children.

Caro flushed scarlet. ‘Oh, I am sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt.’

Merry held out the hand with the ring. ‘You are here just in time to hear my news. I am to be married.’

Caro’s eyes widened. ‘Really married?’

Charlie grinned. ‘Leg shackled. Permanently.’

‘Oh, Merry, I am so happy for you.’ Caro rushed forwards and hugged her. ‘So very happy.’ She stepped back and there were tears of joy in her eyes.

‘Why did you run from Captain Read?’ Merry asked.

Caro paled. ‘He is someone I knew a long time ago.’

Merry glanced at Charlie. ‘Perhaps I should stay and—’

‘No,’ Caro said, her voice firm. ‘I should not have run. He never did me any harm. It was just the shock of seeing him again.’ She smiled. ‘I have made a new life for myself and it is past time I stopped hiding.’

Merry sensed an underlying disquiet beneath the calm face. ‘If you are sure?’

‘Merry,’ Charlie said, capturing her hand, his face serious. ‘If Mrs Falkner finds herself in any difficulty she must send word to me. I will do all in my power to help her. But now we must speak with my parents.’

‘Go,’ Caro said, laughing. ‘Invite me to your wedding and I promise I will come.’

The fear for her friend lightened. She kissed her cheek.

‘Come,’ Charlie said, urging her out of the door. ‘The sooner we get this over, the sooner we can be wed.’

Wed. Common-as-muck Merry Draycott, wed to the heir to a dukedom. It hardly seemed possible, but when she gazed up into Charlie’s face, she knew it had nothing to do with who he was and everything to do with the love shining in his eyes.

She reached up and kissed his cheek. ‘No need to fuss, love,’ she whispered. ‘We have the rest of our lives.’

‘We do.’ He swept her up in his arms and carried her out of the house. ‘And the sooner we get started, the better.’

He’d brought the closed carriage she noticed with a sigh of anticipation and a flood of heat. The ride back to Durn couldn’t start soon enough.

She twined her arms around his neck and smiled.

ISBN: 978-1-4592-0585-7

MORE THAN A MISTRESS

Copyright (c) 2011 by Michele Ann Young

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Rakes in Disgrace