More than Magic: Semester Aboard (44 page)

Home. He probably hadn't been home since he'd
been with Hylay. If he'd been nineteen though... "You didn't live
with your parents, did you?"

"Yeah. As you can imagine, it really wasn't
the best place to go. I was hardly there for a day before I tried
again."

I gasped in horror. Since he had started
talking I had been dreading the moment when he got to his suicide
attempt. I had had no idea he'd tried more than once. I opened my
mouth, but couldn't speak.

"Jen!" he said, sounding almost alarmed.
Before I could react he pulled his hand free from mine and brushed
a fresh tear off of my cheek.

I quickly wiped away another and turned away,
embarrassed. To my surprise he grabbed my hand again and gave it a
comforting squeeze.

"I don't have to go on. I'm sure I've said
enough."

"No, I...I want to know," I said softly.

"Ok. Well, obviously it didn't work. I put a
little more thought into it and..." He sighed heavily. "They said
that if they had found me any later, or if the sun hadn't been down
I..." I heard him swallow and let out a shaky breath. "I wouldn't
have even made it to the hospital."

An awful, morbid curiosity almost drove me to
ask what he had done, but I wasn't sure if he wanted to tell me. Or
if I wanted to know.

"The burns took over a week to heal," he
said. "And now that you know how fast vampires heal, you know they
were pretty serious."

I nodded; afraid I'd start crying if I spoke.
I'd already seen a couple of vampires catch on fire. The thought of
it happening to Thomas was almost painful.

"So, once again, they had no idea what to do
with me. They couldn't keep me there, sure as hell couldn't send me
home. If they sent me anywhere else, I'd probably just try again.
Everyone kept saying that I just had to hang on a couple more weeks
and I'd feel better, but I didn't care at that point. I think I
would've too...but something changed my mind."

I had to ask. "What?"

"The werewolf puppy."

"How?"

"He visited me as soon as he was allowed and
spent the entire time crying. Seven-year-old kid. You remember when
your sister was that old, right?"

"Yeah." It had only been two years ago and
Emily's behavior was still fresh in my mind. "Everything is
melodramatic."

He laughed and I was relieved it sounded
genuine. "Exactly. He whined about how vampires aren't supposed to
be easy to kill and I have to be careful and all that. I'm still
not sure how I reached this conclusion, but I suddenly realized
that the poor puppy had been through almost as much as I had. His
entire class, and his teacher, had been killed in front of him. His
sister was almost killed too. I realized that I really was his only
friend and that if I died he'd be devastated. Who knows, I could
have screwed him up for life. I didn't know it at the time, but the
little guy had soul-pack bonded to me. If-"

"Soul what?" I asked.

"Ah...that's kind of complicated..." Thomas
said. "I promise I'll explain that later."

"Ok."

"So, I figured that little kids always have a
new favorite thing. I thought that he'd get sick of me in a week or
two. Make some new friends, get on with his life, and..." Thomas
hesitated. "I decided I'd just wait a little while and then...put
an end to it."

I squeezed his hand, hoping he'd understand
that I just didn't know what to say. He returned the gesture.

"After I was healed I got another visit. The
MES agent."

"The one who saved you?"

"Right. I was...even less happy to see him
this time. He talked with my doctor and I pretty much ignored him,
until he made an offer. He said I could go live with him and his
wife until I got back on my feet."

Suddenly something clicked. "Jon?" I asked in
surprise.

"Jon." I could hear the fondness in his
voice. "I wasn't very happy with the idea of moving in with a human
and his wife. I was afraid I'd hurt them. Of course, as you know,
Natsuki turned out to be a dryad and dryads..." Thomas laughed.
"Well, dryads are walking stakes. So, I moved in with them. The
thing is that during that first month things only get harder. If
you get three weeks in and haven't killed anyone then it just gets
harder and harder to control yourself. I felt like I was going
insane. And then the month ended. I was at day thirty-four. I woke
up that morning and just...felt a little better. It was amazing.
With every day that went by I started to feel more and more like
myself again. I mean, I was still pretty upset, of course. But
somehow things just...life just didn't seem as bleak. I started
staying up later, enjoying being able to see in the dark.
And...well, here I am." We were both quiet for a long time.
Finally, he gave my hand another squeeze. "To answer your question,
yes, I'm happy now."

"I'm glad," was the only thing I could think
to say. We were silent for a few more minutes. I turned the story
over in my mind, letting it sink in. "What happened to the puppy?"
I asked. "You said he...bonded to you? Do you still keep in
touch?"

"Keep in touch? I can't get rid of the
mutt!"

"I heard that!" TS yelled from the other
room.

"You were meant to!" Thomas laughed. "He even
eavesdrops on me. It's terrible."

My jaw dropped. I felt like such an idiot.
The puppy he'd saved, who had turned around and saved Thomas, was
TS. I was still having such a hard time thinking of Thomas as
sixty-two. I kept thinking of the little puppy as a child, not an
adult. I'd also assumed that TS was closer in age to Thomas.

"You realize we have to get up in two bloody
hours, right?" TS asked.

"Yes, we do," Thomas groaned. "I'll save the
bond stuff for another time, ok Jen?"

"Ok."

I was feeling pretty tired, physically and
emotionally. I settled back in my hammock, thoughts still whirling.
I couldn't believe what Thomas had been though. As I drifted off to
sleep I realized that he was still holding my hand.

Chapter 25

After we woke up I went back to my cabin to
shower and change clothes. Kaitlyn kept apologizing for locking me
out, but I assured her that I had managed and hadn't spent the
night out in the jungle. After breakfast we split back up into our
groups for the day. Each group had their own route and we'd all
meet back at the lodge for lunch. I wasn't paying much attention to
the hike; I couldn't stop thinking about Thomas and what he had
told me. We stopped to look at a huge tarantula and for a couple of
minutes it was a welcome distraction. When the group started moving
again, TS held me back. When everyone else was further away I
turned to him.

"What is it?"

TS pointed off the path. "Wood sprite," he
whispered.

I looked where he was pointing but didn't see
anything. "Where?"

"Watch carefully."

TS took a step forward and something in the
underbrush moved. It looked like a small tree trunk, but tree
trunks didn't have eyes. It blinked at us, then turned and
scampered away.

"Neat," I said.

We hurried back to our group and joined them
by a large tree. Our guide was talking about long distance
telephones and I had no idea what had gotten him on the topic.
Suddenly, TS jerked in surprise and let out a soft, startled yelp.
Before I could ask what was wrong I heard a distance boom, like
thunder.

"That is Juan and your friends," our guide
said. "They are at a telephone tree nearly two miles away!" He
picked up a stick and slammed it into the tree. To my surprise it
caused a deep, reverberating bang. A few seconds later there was
another answering boom. We all got to take turns striking the tree
and I could hear the other group doing the same.

It wasn't until we were hiking again that I
realized what we had done. I walked over to TS and slowed down
until the group was out of earshot. "Is that dryad going to be mad
we just hit a tree?"

He laughed. "I doubt it, that tree is made
for it. I heard a lot of it last night actually, but I didn't know
what was making the sound." His mouth twisted into a smug smirk. "I
imagine it comes in handy for werejaguars, seeing as they can't
howl."

"Do you really not like cats?"

"I like to chase cats." He shrugged. "I
suppose it's a werewolf thing. There's a werelion in the office.
He's a decent bloke, but we'll never get too close. He's not the
biggest fan of canines."

I couldn't help but laugh. He said it so
matter-of-factly, but it was still a little strange for me to think
of TS as a dog. He certainly reminded me of one sometimes, but it
was odd to think that so much of his behavior was shaped by
non-human instincts. As I thought about werewolves I remembered
what Thomas had said.

"So, what's this bonding stuff? Thomas said
he'd explain it."

"Right. That." TS chewed his lip in thought.
"Not sure if I've ever had to explain that before. I guess I'll
start at the beginning for you."

"That's worked so far."

"Well, wolves have packs, right?"

"Yeah."

"So do werewolves. The difference is that our
packs are a bit more em...cohesive. Magically, I mean. What's the
first trait you think of when someone says dog?"

"Loyalty?"

"Right, loyalty. We werewolves are fiercely
loyal to anyone in our packs. Thing is, that loyalty is sort of
driven by magic. Out of all the species of magics, weres tend to
have the strongest animal instincts. And sometimes you just can't
fight instincts. It's a bit annoying. There are things I do that I
know are stupid, but sometimes I just can't help myself." He
laughed, but looked slightly embarrassed. "If you were to throw a
stick right now, I wouldn't go after it, but I'd probably take a
step or two before I caught myself."

"Really?"

He grinned and shrugged. "Can't help it. So,
now that you get that, you'll understand when I say that sometimes
we can behave a bit...irrationally I suppose, when it comes to our
packs."

"Is your pack your family?"

He nodded. "Initially. When you're born your
pack is your family. As you get older it expands to your friends
and your family's friends. It gets a bit complex."

"That sounds like a lot of people."

"Well, not every friend," TS clarified. "It
has to be sort of a best friend. You know, the kind you can really
count on. Those are the kind who end up as packmates."

"What happens when someone becomes a
packmate?"

"Now we're back to those canine instincts.
Some of them, loyalty being a good example, gets em...amplified
when it comes to packmates. We're incredibly loyal to them.
Sometimes it's a big pain in the arse. I could never, say, sneak
out of my house as a puppy. If I disobeyed my parents I'd just feel
so guilty I'd either not do it or I'd fess up. You can lie to a
packmate if you really want to, but it's always unpleasant."

"That would be a pain," I agreed. "So after
someone joins your pack you just turn super loyal?"

"More or less. If I had to pick between
helping a friend or helping a packmate, my packmate would come
first every time."

"How does somebody join a pack?"

"Well, you don't join. It just happens. A
friend says or does something and then," he snapped his fingers,
"they're part of your pack."

"How do you know?"

TS shrugged. "You just do. I could walk past
someone I've never met in my life, but if he's part of my pack, say
my grandfather's best mate or something, I'd know the second I saw
him. If he needed something I'd help him out, no questions
asked."

"Wow." I was pretty sure TS had mentioned
bonds before, now that I thought about it. "Didn't you mention this
when you told me about familiars?"

"Probably, it is similar."

I ran through everything I knew about
familiars. "You can't sense the emotions of all those people, can
you? That would be crazy!"

"God, it would be. No, no, it's not that
strong of a bond. I only draw the comparison because the only
magics who can form a magical bond are werewolves, and witches or
wizards with familiars. Werelions too I suppose, but they don't
matter. With your pack it's just a stronger affection and sense of
loyalty. You can't pick up emotions or anything."

"I see." Thomas' voice as he talked about
Hylay dying echoed in my head. "You wouldn't feel them die either,
right?"

TS shrugged. "You wouldn't
feel
it,
not like...like Tom did. You'd know though. As sure as if someone
walked up to you and told you. When a packmate dies you just
know
. You know who it is and that they're dead."

"That's awful!"

"Better than feeling it too."

"I guess so." We walked in silence while I
thought about packs. "It still sounds like a lot of people," I said
after a moment.

"Well, like I said, it's a weaker bond. It's
actually the only kind that can fade to the point that it
breaks."

"How would it fade?"

"Life. Maybe you move away, make new friends.
The bond gets weaker and weaker, and eventually fades entirely.
That rarely happens with two werewolves, but it usually does with
other magics."

"With two werewolves?" I asked, confused.

"If two werewolves were close enough friends
that one pack-bonded to the other, it's very rare that the other
doesn't bond back." He smiled. "That's one of the best things about
it. I've got a good sized list of family and friends that I can
call anytime and I know they'll always be there. When it comes to
packmates we're driven to try and keep in touch. I've sent
postcards to everyone,
everyone
, in my family this summer. I
know that just getting a card from me probably made their day. It
also gave a little nudge to our bond. They'll write me back, bond
gets another nudge and it keeps going. It's even easier now with
the internet and cell phones. But it's different if it isn't two
werewolves. I had a good mate in Ireland-"