More Than Meets the Ink (33 page)

“
Better not. I got to go. Take care, Tate
.”

And she hadn’t seen him since.

She’d fucked up big-time, she knew, and after getting discharged from the hospital, Elle hadn’t wasted an opportunity to remind her of it.

The ball was in her court; she had to suck it up, swallow each and every one of those stupid, hurtful words she’d spat at him, hope he could see past them, and beg him for forgiveness.

She’d been without James for seven days, and that was frankly seven days too many. The restaurant was doing fine; she was physically okay. Elle had told her she was coming back to Boston permanently, so things were really looking up. Without James, though, none of that mattered. She was lost without him. He may not want her back, but she had to give it a try. She’d say her piece and then pray really hard he’d still want her and wouldn’t send her packing.

After ringing the doorbell twice without any success, she decided to go around the back. As she turned the corner, she saw him working in the garden. Suddenly she couldn’t breathe. He was so beautiful, even with his back to her, he was the most breathtaking male she’d ever laid eyes on. And it wasn’t only his physique; on the inside, James was the most caring, loving man she’d ever met. She winced as she remembered how she’d pushed him away, how she’d insulted him. Punished him for caring. She’d used Elle’s bad experiences as an excuse to drive him away and justify her behavior when the truth was she was scared. Scared to be happy, scared things would work out. Despite his looks, James wasn’t a “type”; he was the man she was in love with, her hero, the man of her dreams, the one she’d treated so badly.

As she gathered her strength to call him out, she noticed Max coming her way.

“You’re here. Good,” he said, reaching for her and hugging her, lifting her off the ground. “He’s being unbearable. Grunting and moping all over the place.”

“Put her down,” James said with a deep, dark voice that gave her shivers.

Max didn’t flinch at the hard tone; he smiled knowingly, kissed her loudly on the cheek, and whispered into her ear. “He’s been driving to your place almost every day, never having the guts to stop and knock on your door. Please take him back and put him out of his misery—and ours.”

She smiled sadly. “I’ll try. I don’t know if he’s going to let me.” Besides, he was the one who had to take
her
back. And he would be within his rights not to. She didn’t deserve him, not the way she’d behaved. She’d have to do much better.

Max put her down and then glared at his brother. “You fuck this one up, man, and I won’t stand down, you hear me?”

James didn’t answer, but his growl was menacing enough that Max lifted his hands and left.

Once alone, the uneasy silence weighed between them.

She glanced around nervously. “Hi, James.”

“Hello,” James answered, not moving a muscle in her direction.

She breathed out and began walking his way. When she was close enough, she lifted her eyes to him and noticed the husky eyes he’d gotten tattooed where his collarbone met his sternum.

“Is this…?”

“Yes, more ink.”

He’d talked about getting another tattoo. That had, of course, been before she’d lost all her marbles and dumped him. “I thought you wouldn’t want to…”

He ran his hand through his hair and grabbed his neck. “You thought wrong. What do you want, Tate? Are you here to bitch at me about my ways?”

“No,” she answered quietly. Despite what Max had said to her, he wasn’t going to make it easy for her. She was going to have to work for each crumb. And it was only fair; she’d been an ass, maybe even caused irreparable damage. She deserved all that and much more. First things first, though. “Thank you for coming to my rescue.”

He didn’t answer, just stared at her. “How are your wrists?”

She shrugged. Her wrists were still angry red, her face felt weird, and she was having nightmares. In no way could that compare with the state of her heart. That one was smashed. “I’m okay; I was discharged from the hospital after twenty-four hours of observation for the concussion.”

“I know. Elle kept me informed.”

She tried to hide her surprise; Elle hadn’t said a word to her about that. She’d said plenty though about how Tate had been an idiot to push James away and how she needed to get her ass kicked for such a stunt.

“What are you doing here, Tate?”

Ouch, he was really going for glacial cold. “You didn’t come to see me. Why?”

He chuckled humorlessly. “You didn’t want me, remember?”

Tate looked at the ground, her voice barely audible. “I see. And am I so easy to walk away from?”

“No, you aren’t.” Pain seeped through his hard tone. “Happy now? Is that what you came here for? Because you can forget it if you think I’m going to grovel. You made yourself clear the last time we spoke.”

She shook her head and reached for him, but he didn’t move. “No, I’m not happy. I’ve realized I can’t be happy without you.” She lowered her eyes and went for broke. “I’ve been a total bitch, and I’d understand if you don’t want to have anything to do with me again. That said, I want very much for you to forgive me. You were right. I was running scared shitless, and it was much easier to drive you away than to face what you mean to me. I was mean and hurtful, and I’m so very sorry.”

He lifted his eyes to hers, but he remained silent, his hard stare boring a hole through her.

Here it went, the leap into the dark; hopefully he’d catch her. Otherwise she’d crash hard. “I love you, James. I did love you when you said it to me, I loved you way before that, probably in Florida, but I was just too stubborn to recognize it. You’re by far the most important thing that has ever happened to me. I’ve been an idiot and a coward. I had a great guy, the best, and I threw it all away and now I’m scared out of my mind that I blew things off beyond any possible reparation. Please believe I never meant to hurt you. I just panicked and wanted you away so that I wouldn’t have to face all that you make me feel. You scare me. When I’m with you, you make me feel so loved, so protected, the thought of you taking that from me made me freak out.”

“I would never have taken that from you.” His tone was hard, and she winced at it.

“Yeah, I know that. Now. Is now too late?” she asked hopefully.

James didn’t say anything, his face impassive.

He didn’t believe her. Or maybe he did but wasn’t giving her another chance.

She tried to breathe through the lump in her throat and blinked a couple of times, trying to avoid the tears that were welling in her eyes. Yeah, it was too late; she’d lost him.

“I see. I-I’m…I’m going to go now,” she said, taking a step back. “I want you to know that all I said that day, about you being good only for a fuck, it was all a big lie. It’s impossible to trade up, James; you’re as good as it gets, and I didn’t know how to deal with that. I was too messed up to see it, and I screwed it up. I’m sorry.”

She turned around, furiously blinking. She needed to get out of there before she made a bigger ass of herself and threw herself at him.

He couldn’t believe Tate was in front of him, fidgeting and on the verge of tears, telling him she loved him. And trying to run out on him again.

“Oh no, you aren’t walking out on me.”

He grabbed her, and before she could react, he had her pinned against the table, his arms on either side of her, his face a millimeter from hers. Tate’s silver eyes glittered with unshed tears.

“You don’t get to come here to tell me you love me and then walk away.” He was looming over her menacingly; he should back down a bit, but he couldn’t get himself to. “That’s not the way it works.”

Her voice trembled. “I don’t want to walk away.” Then she closed her eyes, like she was afraid of his reaction, and continued, “I want you to tell me you still love me, that although I don’t deserve it—and I know I don’t—you’ll give me another chance. I promise I won’t ever let you down again, I—”

She opened her mouth to say something more, but he couldn’t deny himself any longer and fell upon her. He held her head with both hands and ruthlessly took her lips. Jesus, she tasted so good, like heaven. It felt like coming home again. She belonged there, with him, in his arms, her small hands wrapped around his neck. Her heart beating against his chest.

“I’m so sorry, James,” she whispered, her lips quivering, her tears running freely down her cheeks now. “Please forgive me. I—”

“Shh, love,” he interrupted her and kissed her again. She was clinging so hard to him, her small body holding to him so tight his heart swelled.

He’d been cold and numb without her. First he’d been pissed at her for dumping him, hurt by her words, then scared to death when he saw Aidan pointing a gun at her. The mere thought he could lose her, that Tate wouldn’t be in this world anymore, robbed him of breath. He couldn’t live without her. The bitch of it was as long as she didn’t acknowledge she wanted him in her life, without conditions, reservations, or doubts, he couldn’t live with her either. That had been exactly the reason why he’d forced himself to leave her bedside at the hospital. She’d looked so small and so white in that bed, so lost. And then she’d asked him to stay, twice, and he’d wanted so much to do just that: stay, protect her, take over. It had ripped his heart out to leave her there, but he had to; he’d meet her halfway, but he wouldn’t carry the weight of their relationship all on his shoulders. She’d needed to decide by herself if he was what she wanted, and if so, take a stand. It was just his good fortune she did, because he didn’t know what he’d have done if she hadn’t.

“I’m so sorry I hurt you. Please forgive me,” she ranted while he peppered kisses all over her face.

He stared at her while he lovingly dried her tears with his thumbs. “I love you, Tate. I should have never let you push me away. I won’t ever let you do that again. I can’t live without you.”

“I thought you didn’t want to have anything to do with me anymore.” He snorted in disbelief, and she cupped his face, asking, “Why didn’t you come to me?”

“In short? I’ve been an idiot, scared shitless you’d reject me again.”

“You aren’t the idiot,” Tate mumbled. “The second you left my apartment, I knew deep inside I’d made the biggest mistake of my life. Even Elle told me so every chance she got. I was so afraid you’d send me packing, though, that it took me seven days to make it here.”

“I’m happy you made it here.” If she hadn’t, it wouldn’t have mattered; it was just a question of when he’d have broken down and gone to her. “But I would have come for you, princess; you can be sure of that. You’re too important for me. I’ve been dying without you.”

“Your new tattoo.”

He stiffened a bit. “What about it?”

She passed her fingers over it lightly. “I love it.”

“Your eyes. The most beautiful, captivating, and wicked eyes of all. The only eyes I want by my side when I wake up.”

She smiled at him, that damn sweet smile that got him every time. He plastered her to his chest, hugging her. “Something of mine marking you. Very sexy. This says you’re mine.”

She had no clue, but she’d marked him down to his soul. “I am yours, princess. Always have been, since the beginning.” James tilted her chin up with one hand, wrapped the other around her waist and he kissed her, caressing her lips with his tongue, rocking his hips against her.

She looked at him, her eyes smoky. “I want you. Can I have you?”

He narrowed his gaze on her; she was repeating the same words he’d said to her long ago in Eternal Sun.

“Just sex, right?” he asked, also borrowing her words. “Because if that’s the only thing you want from me, then no, you can’t have me. I won’t do this anymore. Have you ever heard about not buying the cow if you get the milk for free?”

“What?”

“You’re marrying me.”

“Am I?”

He caressed her jaw. “Yes, you are. No more free milk. If you want the milk, you’ll have to buy the cow first. If you want sex, you’ll have to wear my ring and marry me.”

“Yes, I will marry you,” she said, hugging and kissing him, new tears running down her cheeks. “Of course I’ll marry you.”

“And you’ll move into my house and you won’t complain. I want to give you babies, now or later, whenever you want them, and they’re going to need space to run around. And don’t say the apartment on top of Rosita’s is big enough.”

She was nodding and mopping her eyes with the back of her hand. “Yes. No, I won’t complain. Much.”

He chuckled, lifting her, and she wrapped her legs around his waist. “I love you, princess. I love you so much I’ve been lost without you. Just try to push me away again, see how far it gets you. I’ll spank your pretty ass so hard you won’t be able to sit for a week.”

“You can try.” She smiled wickedly at him, and nipped at his chin with her mouth.

“Now I’m taking you ring hunting. I won’t let you go back on your word. And once my ring is on you, I’m going to take you to my room and fuck you senseless.”

“I’m already wearing your ring, James,” she whispered to him, her little pink tongue lightly caressing his ear. “You were right; green suits me. Do you want to see it?”

“Oh yes, please,” he said with a groan. He wanted her more than he wanted to take his next breath.

“I promise the cow is as good as sold. We’ll get the official ring afterward. Make love to me, James, please, now. I’ve been dying without you too.” Her sexy tongue flicked over his lips, and she bit his lower lip while grinding her core against his erection. James groaned and pressed her against him, engulfing her, taking charge of the kiss.

When they resurfaced, they were both flushed and panting. “Let’s get into the house, princess, before I lose my mind and take you here in the grass.”

As he carried her upstairs, his lips never leaving her mouth, his hands never leaving her body, he heard his brother laugh.

“So I gather everything’s well, huh?” Max said from the hallway.

“Start shopping for the tuxedo, bro.”