More With You (23 page)

I nod my head.  Macie, Miles, and Kaden leave me alone with Allison.  “What the hell is going on?” she asks me. 

“Allie, he hates me.” I cry harder. This sucks. We were finally getting somewhere and this happens. Shit. Shit. Shit.

“Tell me what happened,” she says gently.  So I do.  I tell her everything from Miles’s crazy plan to Aiden and me down by the pond.  I don’t leave anything out, I need her on my side. I need Allie to talk to Aiden and tell him that it wasn’t what it looked like.

I dig my fingers into the palm of my hand, confirming I’m awake, that this is not a dream.  Hailey and I really did just share the most erotic moment of my life.  Not that anything we did was out of the ordinary; it just felt different with her.  She’s different.  I’ve fought my feelings for her until I have literally driven myself crazy.  Dancing with her tonight, holding her in my arms, the fight left me.  I want her, have for a while, and I don’t want to fight it anymore.  I’ve never felt this way.  Ever.  I will do everything in my power to make it work, because she’s mine now.  There is no going back from this.  I was pissed earlier, seeing her with Miles, but she swears they’re just friends.  Hailey has never lied to me.

When we are just outside the tent, I pull on her hand to stop her from going any further. I need to tell her what I’ve just worked out in my head. I need to explain to her that tonight was important to me, that she is important to me. Hales isn’t just a hook up. I want her to be mine. I’m pretty sure she wants the same thing after what we just shared. I explain to her why I’m going to let go of her hand, and what we just shared is important to me, but before we can really discuss how she feels, her mom interrupts us. Good. I’m not too proud to admit that I’m jealous as hell of this Miles character. I want him gone. Hell, I want everyone gone so I can slip in some more alone time with my girl.

I follow Hailey into the tent, sporting a smile a mile wide.  My mind is rewinding back the last thirty minutes, and I’m not really paying too much attention, until I look up and see Miles kissing Hailey.  My Hailey.  What makes it worse is that she is doing nothing to stop him.  She’s just standing there and letting him kiss her.  She lied to me.  My heart sinks and the smile on my face disappears.

“Fuck this!” I say as I turn and storm out of the tent.  My mind is racing just as fast as my heart is beating.  I can’t believe she fucking lied to me!  She said they were just friends.  How could she have been with me, and then walk in there and kiss him?  I want to rip his fucking head off, but really, why should I?  Hailey made her choice.  She doesn’t want me. 
Fuck!

My first instinct is to get in my truck and drive away, away from Hailey and the pain in my chest.  I’ve been drinking, and no matter how bad I need the distance, I won’t ever drink and drive.  Instead, I head back down to the pond and sit on the dock.  I slip off my shoes and dangle my feet in the warm water.  Now that I’m here, I realize this was not the best choice.  I should have just went to the truck to sleep it off.  Instead, I sit here staring at the spot where I touched her, kissed her.  Fuck, this pain in my chest is intense.  I’ve never felt this… this all-consuming need to…to not need love.  Not even an hour ago, I was ready to go all in with her.  I wanted her to know how I felt. I guess it’s a damn good thing her mom interrupted us. 
Son of a bitch!
  I knew better.  I knew I should have left her alone.  It was a hell of a lot easier to want her from afar.  Now that I’ve tasted her, witnessed her in the throes of passion…yeah, it fucking sucks ass!

I should have grabbed a few beers to bring down here with me, but then that would have required me to see people.  I can’t see people.  I can just see Liam telling me how much of a pussy I am, crying like a baby over a girl. That’s just it though, she’s not just any girl; she’s Hailey, and I thought she was my girl.

I see a shadow fall over the lake.  I turn to see Liam sit down beside me.  “Hey, man, you okay?”

“Fucking fantastic,” my voice is laced with sarcasm.

“Care to fill me in on what happened?”

“You want to know what happened?  I fucking fell in love with your sister.  We went for a walk and had a…moment.  I thought she felt the same way.  I’ve been fighting this for months, and was finally ready to take the leap for her.  Not two minutes later, she’s kissing that fuckstick, Miles.”

Neither, Liam or I say anything. The silence is there allowing me to run the image of Hailey and Miles over and over again, like a broken record.

“She’s my Allison,” I tell him, fighting the lump in my throat. “You don’t have to worry about me breaking her heart though, because she just ripped mine out of my fucking chest.”

“I think you should talk to her, she’s pretty upset,” he tells me.

I laugh. “Yeah, upset that she’s busted maybe. Tell me what you would have done if you’d just decided to take the leap with Allie, and you thought she was on the same page as you, but then you walk into a room not two minutes later and see her kissing another guy. A guy she swore she was just friends with, but she isn’t making any effort to push him away. What would you have done?” I question.

Liam is quiet for a few minutes. “I would have bolted. It took me a long time to decide to make a play for her, to let her see that she is what I want. I can tell you honestly, if I would have seen what you just described, I would have walked away too. I can’t believe Hailey did that to you.”

I don’t reply, because I don’t know how to. I really thought, after all these months of subtle touches and looks, she wanted me too. Hell, we just shared one of the most incredible moments of my life. She’s good, I’ll give her that. She sure fooled me.

Liam’s cell rings. He pulls it out and shows me the screen. It’s Allie. “Hey, baby. Yeah, I found him. No, he’s not ready to talk to anyone right now. Let’s just give him some time. I’m going to hang out here with Aiden for a while. Yeah, okay, love you too, beautiful girl,” he says, hanging up the phone.

“That was Allison. She wanted to know if I had found you.  She and Hailey wanted to come talk to you. I turned them away.”

“Thanks, man. I can’t see Hales right now, and Allison will just make me talk and I don’t want to talk about how my heart just got ripped out of my chest. I’m done talking.”

“I get it. So what’s the plan?” Liam asks.

“The plan is that I’m going to sit my ass here on this dock until I’m sober enough to drive, and then I’m going home…to Charlotte. I’m going to try to forget her.”

His phones beeps with a text.  I watch as a smile spreads across his face.  It has to be Allison.  “What’s she saying?”

“Oh, uh, she’s heading upstairs to bed. She got Hales settled in and just wanted to tell me that she’ll wait up for me.”

“Go,” I tell him.

“No, man, I’m good.”

“Liam, go. I need time to clear my head anyway.”

“Don’t drive yet. Wait a little longer and text me as soon as you get there, no matter what time it is.”

“Will do.  My buzz is shot, so I should be fine in another hour or so.  Hey, can you bring my bag with you tomorrow?  I don’t want to risk running into her.  I know she and I will have to talk, but I just can’t, not yet.”

Liam stands to leave. “When you’re ready, at least talk to her. Don’t let this come between you guys.”

Can I do that? I’m not sure. “I’ll see what I can do. I can’t promise anything,” I tell him honestly.

Liam nods his head, turns and walks away.  I’m alone again, with a steady reel of Hailey and I on repeat in my mind.  Then I see Miles and his lips on hers, his arms around her.  Hailey doing nothing to stop it, and the anger comes flooding back. 
Fuck!

I lie back on the dock and look up at the night sky thinking about what I could have done different. I think about the last several months and every single moment that I’ve shared with her. The signs were there, I just chose to ignore them. This is just as much my fault as it is hers. I should have told her how I felt. I should have taken a chance on her, on us. Instead, I pushed her to him.

My phone vibrates in my pocket; I pull it out and see a text from Hailey.

Hailey:
 
Please let me know you’re okay. I can explain. Please.

I stare at the message as if looking at it will tell me what to do. I close out of the message screen and see that I’ve been laying here for two hours. I stand up and stretch, all effects of the alcohol are gone. I pull my keys out of my pocket and head back towards the house to my truck. I don’t really feel like driving back to Charlotte tonight, but I won’t be able to sleep anyway, and I can’t see Hailey. Not yet. I hit my key fob and unlock the doors. I climb in and go to set my cell phone in the console. I swipe across the screen with my thumb and open up her message.

Me:
 
I’m safe. Don’t worry.

I power off my phone and hit the open road. At least there won’t be much traffic.

I toss and turn all night, worried about Aiden.  I’ve checked his room three times to see if he has come back yet.  His bag is still there.  Liam said he just needed some time.  I don’t want to give him time. I don’t want him to decide that what we shared was a mistake.  Miles texted earlier telling me how sorry he is.  I didn’t text him back.  I’m too angry and I’m afraid I will say something that I regret.

As the sun rises, light filters into my room. I jump out of bed and run down the hall to the guest room, Aiden’s room. I quietly open the door and see that the bed is still made and his bag still sits there untouched. What the hell?

I walk across the hall and knock on Liam’s door. Normally I wouldn’t interrupt them, but I need to know where he is. He’s had time to cool off. I need to talk to him. I hear Liam’s mumbled “come in” so I push through the door.

“Hey, you,” Allison says, sitting up. “How are you holding up?” she asks.

I shake my head no as I bite my bottom lip.  Fighting back tears.  “Liam, Aiden isn’t in his room.  I’m worried.  I texted him last night to tell him to at least let me know he’s okay.  He texted back that he was safe, but he’s not here and I’m worried,” I mumble through the silent tears that are falling from my eyes.

Liam clears his throat. “He’s not here. He went home last night.”

“He did?  Why didn’t you tell me?   I would have went to him.  I need to tell him that what he saw was nothing.  He misunderstood,” I scold him.

“He went home to Charlotte,” Liam says gently.

“Char-Charlotte?” I ask as a sob breaks from my throat.  “Oh, God.  He hates me.”

Allison puts her arm around me. “He doesn’t hate you. He’s upset. Give him some time to cool off. You guys will work this out.”

I crawl in bed next to Allison.  I hear Liam tell her he’s going to give us some “girl time,” and he leaves the room.  I’m too caught up in my grief to care.  I’m so stupid.  How could I agree to let Miles go through with his ridiculous plan?  I should have ran after him.  I let him walk away from me.  I let the love of my life walk away.  I didn’t fight for him, now I can’t.  I finish my clinicals this week.  I have to be there in order to start the nursing program.  I sob harder at the thought of Aiden thinking I didn’t fight for him, or that I won’t fight for him.  I want to go to him, but I can’t abandon everything I worked so hard for. 

Allison continues to sit with me through my tears. I love my best friend. “Thank you, for sitting with me. I’m okay now,” I say, my voice hoarse.

“Give him some time. I know Aiden. He’s angry and he needs to be alone to work through all of this. I can tell you that he’s not over you. I’ve seen this develop with the two of your for months, and I’ve never see him with anyone the way he is with you. Just give him some time.”

“I hope your right,” I tell her.

My mom had made homemade cinnamon rolls before she and my dad left to return the tables and chairs. I’m relieved that I don’t have to face them. We eat quickly then load up our stuff and head towards my condo. Liam pulls into the drive and turns off the ignition. Allison turns around in the front seat to face me.