Moron (7 page)
Authors: Todd Millar
When I think about all the different parties that share responsibility in the case of concussions, it makes me think that we still have work to do. Governing bodies are generally doing their job in terms of the education process, putting in place tools that coaches, parents and kids can use to prevent and detect concussions.
However, we must go further than that. We have to go through an education of parents, players, and coaches, so that we stop saying things like, “Don’t worry about it, suck it up,” or “You just got your bell rung.” We need to do a better job of explaining to children, and to one another, what the implications of a brain injury can be.
The game’s not perfect, and there are plenty of things that require improvement inside the game. Having said that, I will venture to say (as I did in the Preface) that 95 percent of activities and behaviours are great. Ninety-five percent of the parents behind the glass are very respectful, cheering enthusiastically, and acting like good, standup citizens. On the ice, 95 percent of the time, body checks don’t cause any major damage to kids. Ninety-five percent of kids will never get concussed, or suffer mental illness problems as a result of minor hockey.
However, at the end of the day, just because 95 percent of the game is functional doesn’t mean that the sport is healthy. A five-percent failure rate is not like getting 95/100 on a test. It’s not an “A” grade. Instead, it’s nearly a failing grade. It’s a failing grade. If three percent of our kids get concussions that very well may lead to lifelong brain damage, we are failing them, and we need to change something. We can’t ignore this problem. We have to stand up, get involved, and start altering the five percent figure.
Imagine only five percent of the people on your street were pedophiles. How would you feel? Safe, because 95 percent were
not
pedophiles? Why are we okay with a five percent rate of failure when it comes to the safety of our kids in hockey?
Until our kids are 100 percent safe, parents need to stand up, coaches need to stand up, all of the custodians of the game need to stand up, and all of us need to make sure that we are making the game as safe as it possibly can be.
Chapter Four
A
fter 99 years of our children playing minor hockey in Canada, there are plenty of rules, regulations, processes, and policies in place to govern all aspects of the game – particularly around the issue of “fair play”. If everyone were to follow these policies, we would have a pretty good system in place.
When it comes to how players, coaches, parents, officials, spectators and league organizers behave, there are clear rules and codes as to what is acceptable behaviour and what is unacceptable behaviour. It would be a beautiful world if everyone obeyed these fair play behaviours. The problem is that these rules and codes are ultimately not adhered to. In minor hockey, we need to remember that our first priority is to keep our children safe, having a good time, respecting one another, and playing in an environment where they are able to learn the great game of hockey.
Human nature all too often messes up the balance of our beloved sport. Suddenly, there are 19 kids on the hockey team, and coaches leave the “worst” player on the bench, even though that player probably needs the most experience and development. Those coaches make a clear distinction between their “best” and “worst” hockey line, using that information to win the hockey game. By keeping only the best players out on the ice, they are violating the rules of minor hockey. The best coaches say, “I’m going to be the guy who makes sure that all kids develop equally. I’m going to make sure that all kids get equal ice time.” Coaches need to be committed to equal participation and equal development for all players and for the betterment of the game.
For many coaches, parents and people on the sidelines, the focus of this kids’ game is on the almighty win. Hockey is almost a religion in Canada, and winning is paramount in many of these adults’ minds. That has to change, if we are to teach our children to enjoy the game, and if we are to eliminate bullying and other damaging practices. We can never forget that the basic principle of minor hockey is the development of children.
Kids should get equal play, support, and instruction. That’s the rules, and it’s what is right for our young hockey players. Coaches should not yell at their young players, or ridicule them for making mistakes or performing poorly. They need to remember that their players play to have fun, and should encourage them to have confidence in themselves.
I was recently a linesman for a Peewee provincial hockey game. As a linesman, I am often in clear earshot of the coaches as they shout directions to their players. I was sickened by what I heard during this particular game. The coach in question screamed continuously at these Peewee children. He was clearly shortening the bench, and rotating his “best” players every second shift. He swore angrily, and shouted that they shouldn’t be “babies.” Their team was winning by two goals at that point. I wonder what happens when they are losing.
The goal of minor hockey is not to prime kids for NHL play (that is a happy by-product for a very small minority of players). Instead, the goal is to develop their personalities, skills, and self-esteem. The most important thing an adult, whether a coach, parent, official, spectator, or league organizer, can do around children is model the best behaviour, and set a good example. These kids spend an awful lot of time with these adults, and they are very impressionable.
We have a major problem in minor hockey. We are further from fair play than ever before, and it has nothing to do with the kids. It’s our fault, and our responsibility, as adults. There are a few reasons we are not doing very well at this.
It used to be that parents actually had to sign the fair play policies when they signed up their child for playing minor hockey in Canada. Today, parents just click on a little box on the online registration saying, “I have read the attached.” Unfortunately, not many have actually read the policies or are aware of them. In countless conversations with involved adults, I have asked them about the fair play policy, and whether or not they are aware of it. Most have no idea that there’s even a code in place. Although it’s not an easy fix, we need to make sure that responsible adults actually read the paperwork, so that they can obey and enforce the fair play policies.
For easy reference, here is the Hockey Calgary version of the Fair Play Policy, posted on their website, and in their rules and regulations. Your hockey association will have a similar policy, as this comes down from Hockey Canada.
FAIR PLAY CODE POLICY FOR COACHES
The fair play codes are set out in Hockey Canada’s booklet Safety Requires Teamwork – An information guide to Hockey Canada’s Risk Management and National Insurance Programs. The fair play codes are a set of guidelines for players, coaches, parents, officials, spectators and league organizers set out to promote positive hockey experiences. Fair play is important from a developmental perspective as well as from a risk management perspective. It is the policy of the Hockey Calgary that the Fair Play Codes be followed by all member associations affiliated with Hockey Calgary including AA, Community, Girls Hockey, Recreational Hockey and High School Hockey. For the most part the fair play codes are clear. However, for coaches there is a provision, which states, “I will ensure that all players get equal instruction, support and playing time.” The use of the term “equal” is generally understood. However, there is a tendency among a small minority to misinterpret the term “equal” with “earned” or “fair” which allows for entirely different interpretations of the intentions of the fair play codes. Some individuals will acknowledge that the fair play codes apply and then claim you can shorten the bench in the last five minutes of a game, in a tight situation or in playoffs. Allowing variances in the interpretation of fair play only increases a broader degree of confusion for the rules of minor hockey. Fair play is intended to allow all players an equal opportunity to develop their skills in Hockey. Development occurs in both practice and game situations. And within the game itself, there are different situations where each player should be afforded the opportunity to develop his or her skills, whether it is power play, penalty kill, playoffs or tournaments.! The following policy respecting ice time is intended to ensure a consistent application of the fair play codes throughout the Hockey Calgary network with an emphasis to ensure all players are provided equal opportunity to develop his or her hockey skills in every game situation. The policy applies to AA Hockey, Community Hockey, Girls Hockey, Recreational Hockey and High School Hockey.
When I was a Board Member with Hockey Calgary, I had a group of parents approach me after a hockey game in which one line of kids didn’t see nearly as much ice time as the “elite” line. On this occasion, I decided to address this with this coach. I talked to him before his next game, asking him about the fair play complaint raised by parents.
The coach said, “Look, it’s my hockey team. I’m going to move the lines how I want to move them and I’m going to play the kids who I think are playing the best.” For added emphasis, he reiterated, “That’s who I’m going to play.”
In my role with Hockey Calgary, I needed to explain to him that this wasn’t his right, and that the children fell beneath the fair play policies of our organization. His job was to develop all players equally, and give them equal playing time.
He didn’t agree with me. So we watched his games carefully over the following weeks, and saw as he allowed an entire line of kids to sit on the bench for the entire game. This behaviour was moronic, and it was our responsibility to watch out for the children he was mistreating. Not to give this any more airtime than he deserves, but the issue was dealt with, and the coach was suspended by Hockey Calgary for his actions.
The real answer is for everyone to stand up and hold others accountable for moronic behaviour. If your child’s coach is acting like Spider-Man, or like the screaming coach above, you need to stand up. Adults can’t ignore this kind of behaviour. Unfortunately, this is not as easily done as one might think. Parents and others won’t speak up because they believe their kids won’t get equal play if the coach doesn’t like them – so they stay silent. It’s not worth it; speak up!
Remember, your child’s eyes and ears are on you, and on every adult around you. Watching and listening to every behaviour. Are you accepting wrong behaviour out of fear of retaliation? It’s time to stop the cycle of bullying.
The most important thing is the education process. Adults should not simply assume that their natural upbringing or basic skills that they have learned inside of their own lives are the ones that should be adhered to inside of minor sports. Membership in minor sports is a privilege, not a right, and the rules need to be followed. In other words, it’s not a God-given right that suddenly you’re born and you’re permitted to play organized hockey. Each adult and child has a role to play, and appropriate behaviours to follow:
- We ask players to understand how they have to behave, and how they have to play.
- We should also make sure coaches know their role, and act appropriately. Parents, you have a role in this as well. You are not just writing the cheque to allow your son to play. You need to understand the game, the rules, the regulations, and what would be best for your child.
- I don’t want to let officials off the hook either. I have witnessed officials who had not been given the right training or mentoring, and didn’t act appropriately either. If you are a referee, remember your role. It is not just for the couple of bucks that you are getting paid. We are counting on you!
- Spectators, whether siblings, grandparents, or parents, also have a responsibility in terms of what their behaviour looks like. What do they say to players and officials on the ice? Are they just cheering and getting excited, or are they bullying people from the stands?
- The league organizers are also responsible to behave appropriately. Your decision to volunteer does not give you veto power or the ability to ignore the rules. You are the caretaker of the rules as they are written. And everyone needs to be held accountable. No free rides!
The biggest concern I have for minor hockey is the parents. Yes, kids bully one another in the locker room and elsewhere, but they have learned that behaviour from someone else. It is the parents who more often bully one another or the kids, and this is behaviour their children follow. The more we close our eyes to it, and the more we just accept it as a byproduct of the game, the more we are neglecting our duty to the children in minor hockey.
At one general meeting when we were discussing the problems in minor hockey, one older man in his late 60’s, who had been around Hockey Canada his entire life, said, “It has always been that way.” I fully respect him for all his years of volunteerism, but his comment was unacceptable to me. He implied that, since “it has always been that way,” it will “always be that way” in the future. I don’t ascribe to that point of view. I believe that, if we insist that all adults in the minor hockey system simply started taking accountability and read the fair play code, working hard to abide by its rules and regulations, we would be 99% on our way towards fixing the problems that exist in the game today.