Mother's Milk (35 page)

‘How so?'

And for the next three and a half hours Barrett and Hobbs were grilled on the facts and asked to posit different scenarios – how many state employees did they think would be implicated? How many kids had been recruited to sell drugs? What did they think happened to the naked girl in the video? And how many people outside Marky and Chase and of course Ed and Barrett knew?

As the meeting finally wound down, oblique statements and directives were lobbed at both of them. To Barrett, the Lieutenant Governor remarked, ‘How and how much of this finds its way into the press can make or break careers. I am aware of your past achievements, and can see that you're clearly someone who goes above and beyond … Not always a good thing, and still … there will be new opportunities, Barrett, both in the Department of Mental Health and in Family and Youth Services. The Governor is watching this closely. He'll need to appoint an acting commissioner and that person will need to be above reproach. Barrett,' he leveled his gaze at her, ‘you have impressive credentials … you should think about it.'

Her knee-jerk reaction was to say,
Hell, no
, but he'd already shifted his attention to Hobbs. ‘Ed,' he said, as though they were all good friends, ‘I've asked Daryl to have you oversee this case and to report to him directly.'

Hobbs started to speak, but wasn't given the chance.

‘I know this is going over your usual chain of command, and I am not asking for a cover-up,' the Lieutenant Governor continued. ‘God knows that only makes things worse. What I am asking for is a careful and prudent investigation. I know without doubt that the Governor's office knew nothing of Janice Fleet's criminal activities. We'll handle that side of things, and I'd request that both of you be circumspect with the press. But after talking with the two of you I have some sense of what we're dealing with, and I am sickened by it.' His voice cracked, and he swallowed hard. ‘I want to assure you that I'm giving you the juice to get full cooperation from all involved agencies. If you require anything from the Governor's office I'd ask that you contact me directly, and I will make certain you get what you need.'

Then another round of hand-shaking accompanied by the exchange of cards. Hobbs and Barrett left. In the elevator down, Barrett looked over at Hobbs. ‘What was that?'

‘Fear,' he said. ‘So, you want to be a commissioner?'

‘What are my choices? And could I just opt for a sharp stick in the eye?'

He laughed, but then stopped as he caught her gaze. ‘What?'

Barrett felt his closeness and the downward movement of the elevator. She couldn't pull herself from his eyes, how they twinkled and made something inside of her feel happy and safe. Her gaze floated over the scars, the thought that ran over and over through her head,
I love you … am in love with you.
While other thoughts screamed not to say it, not to ruin a friendship that meant so much to her.

‘What?' he repeated, as the elevator lurched to a stop and the doors opened.

Her hand shot out and she randomly pressed the button for the top floor.

He looked at her, and waited.

‘OK,' she swallowed hard, and broke from his gaze.
Don't do this, Barrett, don't, don't, don't.
‘I was wrong, Ed,' she blurted, not wanting to stop herself, ‘I made a mistake. I do have feelings for you, you told me once that you …'

‘Sshh.' He closed the small gap that separated them.

She felt the heat of his body, and smelled something musky and masculine. She looked up, and felt as though she'd launched into the air, like a high-wire acrobat with no net. One of his hands landed on the side of her cheek.

‘I'm so sorry,' she said.

‘No need,' he whispered. He pulled her in, his lips finding hers, the kiss soft at first.

She felt something deep inside burst and she grabbed hard. Her hands around his neck, their bodies tight, joined, the kiss like a fire sparked to a flame. Neither caring that the doors had opened, closed, and then opened again back in the lobby.

‘Excuse me,' the older security guard's voice intruded.

They broke apart. Barrett felt winded and weak-kneed – Ed was grinning.

‘Hate to break this up,' the guard said. ‘You do know it's all on camera?'

Hobbs burst out laughing as Barrett glanced at the security booth and the younger guard, standing in front of the monitor, smiling back at them. ‘Come on, Barrett,' Hobbs said, ‘let's get out of here,' and he did something that made any resistance vanish, he took her hand. ‘Come on.' He squeezed her fingers.

‘OK …' she said, not able to focus. As soon as they were out the door, she was inundated with sensation, the smell of flowers, the sun, her hand in his. ‘Ed,' she stopped, not wanting the moment to pass. Not caring who saw them, she pulled him close, and they kissed again, slower, as they both savored the sweetness of it.

‘So what do we do?' she finally said.

‘Anything we want, but right now, I'm really hungry … so how about something to eat?'

Her internal warning bells tried to ring out as the most imprudent of all thoughts popped into her head. ‘I love you, Ed,' she said. ‘I can't believe how I almost screwed this up.'

He kissed the tip of her nose, and then again found her mouth. ‘So it's a date?'

‘Yes,' she said, loving the way he smiled at her.

‘OK, but this will take some planning. I mean if we're talking about you, should I bring roofies and duct tape?'

She butted her forehead into his shoulder. ‘No. I've had enough of that.'

He growled in the back of his throat, ‘Glad to hear it,' and then they kissed again.