Motown Showdown (9 page)

I didn’t like him being upset let alone at
me
. The man had a short fuse; this was not news. But outside of acting annoyed with me (which he really wasn’t because I’m impossible to be annoyed with) he never lashed out. In life, there wasn’t much I stewed on. Regret was a waste of energy, as was anger. I was an action kind of girl. See a problem, tackle said problem by any means necessary. Gage wasn’t a problem; actually he was a solution.

My
solution.

He didn’t know he was my purpose, the reason for everything that I do. Down deep in my soul I knew this but I also knew that essentially we were strangers. This arrangement had us starting from scratch. Staying here together could be amazing or a shit show. I wouldn’t be able to speak freely or come and go. On the plus side, if the opportunity came up for naked time, we could be naked
all
the time. Well, when I wasn’t working, that is. He was right, I did play games, but I didn’t do so maliciously. This was a game, an important one. A game I needed control of. Knowing he was outside alone bothered me, a lot.
Being away from him at all bothers you
… He was feet away, and I missed him. Who am I kidding? I always missed him. Gearing up, I ignore the dizziness and make my way to where he is. The moment I clear the door he was up and ready to help me.

“What’s wrong?” he asks tucking me into his side which I loved because I fit there.

“I wanted fresh air,” I tell him as he guides me to a plastic chair and gently sets me down. “I also wanted to be near you.”
Because I don’t know who I am without you
…

“Did you really wait a long time for me?”

Blinking at him, I found myself at a loss. How did he know? “Last night, when you were falling asleep you said you’ve waited a long time for me.”
Figures…

“Six years,” I confirm. “Six very
long
years.”

“I shouldn’t have yelled at you,” he says leaning against the rail. He looks casual but he’s on guard just as I was, but right now there was no threat. “You’ve done a lot for me, never said thank you and should have.”

“You’re welcome,” I say wondering if that was his apology and then deciding it didn’t matter. I never did it for thanks. Gage didn’t smile a lot. I wasn’t sure why when he had a family that loved him but a smiley guy he was not. So when he lowers his voice, I found myself leaning forward to listen.

“How many?” he asks. “Total. How many for me?” I knew what he was asking. How many have I terminated on his behalf.

“Seventeen,” I tell him. “Want me to name them?”

“Seventeen,” he mumbles. “Shit.”

“Can I be frank with you?”

“Are you ever not?”

“True,” I smile. “From day one you were the guy who played by his own rules. I respected that, even if it made you sloppy.”

“Sloppy?” He argues crossing his arms over his big chest.

“Yes, sloppy,” I tell him. “Did you know the life span of a hitter is less than three years? They either bow out or die out. You can’t argue statistics or the importance of teamwork. I never wanted that for you, to die playing this game, I mean. Don’t get me wrong, you’re really fucking good, the best even. However, you refused to stay close to the wire choosing to flaunt your skills even if that’s not how you perceived it; that’s what you did. Current bullshit aside, that is the purpose of the wire, solidarity, security and a home base. You expose yourself. Therefore you expose anyone playing the game. I had to make sure your actions didn’t negatively impact the rest of us.” I wasn’t lying here. I was also being very kind about it when in reality his behavior did affect the rest of us as it gave newbies ideas. “That’s when I started to keep tabs on you. But quickly I saw what you were about and instead of wondering if you posed a threat, I uh…”

“You uh, what, Camo.”

“Fell for you, hard.”

“Fell…” he draws out.

“The thing is,” I say interrupting him. “The way you operate leaves you wide open. You don’t communicate with Pilgrim, you don’t question him, which obviously is good now but, it wasn’t then. You don’t participate in the wire and when you work you have a single-minded focus which is hot right? But if it hadn’t been for me, you’d be dead. You have to learn to lean.”

“All these years I read you wrong,” he says. “Maybe it was because I knew you were right. Wasn’t going to change my game though, because it meant having you at my back.”

“Sweet, but a dangerous way to play the game, Gage.”

“This Digger,” he starts. “You got history with him?”

“I do.”

“How long has he been in the game?”

“Six years, same as you,” I tell him.

“How long you been fucking him?” When I don’t answer, he stands tall, places his hands on the armrests of my chair and leans in. “How long?”

“Long enough,” I manage trying to evade his question.

“You love him?”

“No,” I laugh at the thought. “I barely like him.”

“Then why…”

“Because he’s useful,” I shrug. “Because this job is lonely, this life is lonely and you can’t trust outsiders. Because, I couldn’t have
you
.”

“You chose to stay away from me,” he says in a very menacing voice.

“For your own good,” I give right back. “The last thing you needed was another distraction. I would have been that for you. Face it, you’re the king of distraction. I would know, I fucking witnessed it. If it had legs and a reproductive system, it was fair game. There were three attempts on your life while you were behind closed doors. Like I said, you had enough
distractions
. Showing my face wouldn’t have helped.”

“The house is ready,” Kandace calls from the door. Looking over and nodding, I decided this chat was over. Helping me up he says nothing and really what was there to say? Six years I kept an eye on him and in that time his list of women he hit and quit was notable.

It also hurt like a bitch knowing it was never me.

Every fucking time he closed that door, and I knew another woman was behind it…killed me.

What was worse was he knew I was there, and he did it anyway.

“Quit calling me that! That’s not my name!”

Pounding into her, it took everything I had to stay hard. The voice wasn’t right. It was too high, like nails on a chalkboard. Ordering her to say Camo’s name was futile because the bitch couldn’t get it right. Then she started with the questions… So I put her on her knees hoping to finish and kick her out. The more I grunt Camo’s name the closer I got. Closing my eyes, I call on her voice to finish me, but the female is still yelling at me. Pulling out, I look down disgusted with myself.

Wrong woman.

“Get out,” I tell her while zipping up.

“You’re an asshole!” she screams. “A horrible fuck, too!”

I wasn’t a horrible fuck; I just wasn’t properly motivated.

We’ve been playing house for three days now. She’s made no effort to get to know me, or I her.

From day one I wanted her to step forward, make that first move but she never did. Those women meant shit to me, a way to pass the time and hopefully make her jealous. Clearly it worked, and I was ashamed of my role in it.

I hurt her, I know that I did, and I didn’t know how to fix it.

But I figured if she really wanted me she’d say so, she didn’t so, I wanted to hurt her back.
I was an asshole
. Instead, I caused damage never knowing she stayed back to protect me. Now when she’s not sleeping, she’s on the wire, checking leads, calling in markers, talking with Bobo and even that fucker Digger.

I wanted to kill that bastard.

Here I’ve got her to myself and I had shit to say outside of making her food (which I liked), helping her shower (which I really fucking liked) and watching her work (I did not like) because she worked non-stop. Kandace and Rome were next door so I ran back and forth constantly for help. What meds did I give her? How long should she sleep? Should she be doing stairs? Because she was doing stairs much to my disapproval because, she was
bored
. The woman was fucking bored of all things when I was right here. Now she’s cleaning her rifle, and I could tell she enjoyed that but I wasn’t because it didn’t include me.

I told Rome my dilemma and the guy had good advice. I never wanted to like the prick, but it was hard not to. “Honesty is the mother of all fuckers. Women love it even if they hate hearing it. Camo is nothing but honest, take a play from her book.”

I decided that I would.

“You ready for that shower?” I ask her. For a woman with olive skin, she blushed with the best of them.

“Yeah, why not,” she says setting her kit down. “I think I’ve got it,” she says brushing past me.

“You still get dizzy,” I point out needing to be present for that shower. “Safety first.”

Staring me down, she squares her dainty shoulders and starts to undress. Everything in me starts to quicken. My breath, my pulse, my fucking heart. Right on cue, my dick swells, and I do my best to ignore it. Helping with her sports bra I want to groan and thank God at the same time. That fucking cotton mashes her tits down thereby hiding the bounty underneath. Believe me, for a tiny woman she was stacked. When the air and my eyes hit her tits they get hard too.
Just a taste, that’s all I need
… She doesn’t try to cover them with her hands or grab for a towel, instead she stands proud knowing she’s a goddess. I liked that about her as well.

Starting the water and testing it out, I pull the curtain back to help her haul her right leg over the side to get in. Still moving slowly but getting stronger by the day, she uses my forearm as a crutch. Moving away to close the curtain she says softly, “Stay.”

I wasn’t sure if she meant right where I was or nearby so I took a seat on the shitter playing it safe. Watching her silhouette I adjust my dick in my jeans. In truth, a five foot nothing female never looked so good. “You started a side business with Pilgrim,” she says soaping up her those tits I wanted in my mouth. “How come?”

Moving some spit around so I could actually speak, I tell her the truth. “Wanted to make a difference, we both did. Pilgrim was military, saw some shit but his injury prevented him from being in the field. I saw shit I didn’t like and knew I could make money doing it for other people, so I did. So we merged the two businesses together.”

“Most of us have a story on why we started,” she says rinsing. “You know mine, tell me yours.”

“Walked up on a girl I dated right after she was raped,” I say hating the memory. “Found her just as they were done with her, it fucked with me. I thought of it happening to my sister and that fucked with me more. Then I saw a kid get gunned down, saw my dads catch shit for being in love. Homeless get beaten and discarded, rich bastards doing illegal shit. Saw a city that couldn’t keep up, wouldn’t keep up and I wanted to stop it.”

“All of that makes sense. But off topic, does it bother you that I’m white?” she asks scrubbing her head.

“No, should it?” I ask wondering where that came from.

“I would hope not,” she says reaching for another bottle.

“Does it bother you that I’m black?”

“Milk chocolate,” she counters before adding, “No, it doesn’t bother me. You’re the most handsome man I’ve ever seen. I wouldn’t care if you had stripes. Total lie, stripes might be a hard limit for me.”

I had no idea what to do with that piece of information. “You always wear a false face?”

“Almost always, yes,” she says. “I can’t risk being remembered.”

“You’re impossible to forget, Camo.”

“Gage?” she asks quietly.

“Yeah, beauty.”

“I’m ready.”

My dick was certain she meant ready to fuck but then the water was shut off and the curtain was pulled back which meant ready to get out. This worked too because she was naked with her arms out reaching for me. Until this injury, Camo never needed me for anything. I also know that once she’s healed she’ll go right back to being miss independent.

After dressing her and getting her spot ready on the couch, she comes in slowly. Just the small effort it took to shower wore her out. This is where the interrogation comes in. She’s tired so she’s less likely to fight me. After she’s seated and I dress her wounds, I cover her with a blanket and take the space next to her.

“We need to talk,” I say handing her another cup of coffee. The woman needs a coffee drip she drinks it so much.

“I’m listening,” she says leaning her head back.

“Need to clear the air with you,” I start. “I know you’re pissed at me about the shit I put you through and I deserve it. Thing is, all these years I had your voice that’s it. Yeah, I could feel you close by but you never came forward, never said shit. We’ve belonged to each other in some fucked up way and my being with others knowing you were there was a dick move. I wanted you jealous…”

“I was,” she whispers.

“I’m sorry.”

“Forgiven.”

“Just like that?” I ask skeptical.

“I was with others too,” she points out and my growl could not be contained. “Granted I didn’t flaunt it but, I chose to follow knowing it would sting. I set myself up for the pain, Gage. Your safety was more important than my feelings.”