Moving in Reverse (10 page)

It all happened in a flash. From out
of nowhere, someone pushed Blake in the back, and I heard him grunt
as he stumbled forward and regained his balance.

“
No—” I cried out, but it
was too late.

I turned around just in time to see
him land a punch. Right on the side of Jeff’s jaw.

“
Ok,” Blake said, shaking
his hand as Jeff reeled backwards. He walked past me and through
the door. “Now we can go.”

Chapter
Thirteen

The cold hit me in the face the second
we got outside. I’d left my jacket at the party, but there was no
way on earth I was going back for it.

“
Man, I always forget how
much that hurts,” Blake said, opening and closing his fingers and
inspecting his hand for any damage.

“
Blake,” I said, trying to
keep pace with his brisk walk away from the party. At least no one
seemed to be coming after us. They’d probably decided to file a
lawsuit for assault and battery instead.

“
I guess it doesn’t really
matter if I break my hand now, does it?” His voice was still
icy.

“
Why not?”

“
Because,” he laughed
bitterly. “It’s not like I’m a guitar player anymore.”

I tried to keep the pity out of my
face. That would only make things worse.

“
Blake,” I murmured
softly, reaching out to touch his arm.

He stopped walking and looked at me
like he wanted to say something, and then shook his head
again.

Instead, he wrapped an arm around my
waist.

“
You know I’d never been
in a fight before I met you?” He breathed into my ear, sending
shivers down my body. “I’m starting to think you’re a bad
influence.”

I rolled my eyes, but snuggled in
closer to him. “Please,” I said. “I’m not exactly the barfight
type.”

Blake grinned. “Maybe you should
start. Throw in some Jello and people would pay good money to see
that.”

I blushed, looking down. “I think my
boyfriend might get jealous.”

Blake snorted. “True,” he said. “He
does seem to have a jealous streak.”

“
Blake—” I started, and
then couldn’t figure out where I was going. I wanted to yell at him
for getting into a stupid fight, but more than anything, I wanted
to figure out what had gotten him there in the first place. I
couldn’t help feeling like there was something he wasn’t telling
me.

As if reading my mind, Blake paused,
pulling me closer into his arms. “It’s ok, Casey,” he said.
“Everything’s going to be fine.”

I tried really hard to believe
him.

“
You keep saying that,” I
said, my voice barely above a whisper. “But it doesn’t feel
fine.”

He exhaled, and I felt the air leave
his chest, his heart thumping against my ear.

“
No,” he said, his voice
thoughtful. “It doesn’t, does it?”

We stayed like that for a second,
until a gust of wind hit my back and Blake felt me
shivering.

“
Why didn’t you tell me
how awful New York was in the winter?” He asked, changing the
subject.

“
Just wait till it snows,”
I forced a smile.

“
Maybe we can transfer to
UCLA.”

“
Speak for yourself,” I
smiled, pulling my body out from under his arms. “I heard
California’s sinking into the ocean.”

“
Well,” Blake laced his
fingers in between mine. “My beach house will be in the Pacific way
before UCLA, if that’s true,” he paused. “So we might as well get
in some quality time before it does.”

“
I can’t wait,” I said,
completely serious.

We walked a few more blocks, until we
got to the path that led to my dorm room.

“
You know,” Blake said,
his voice soft and suggestive. “If you’re ready, we could always
start fall break a little early.”

I bit my lip. We had another week of
classes, but after tonight, I wanted to get away more than
ever.

“
We shouldn’t,” I said,
trying to be firm. “California will be there in a few
days.”

“
I could change the
tickets,” Blake said, softly kissing my forehead and turning to
walk away. “We could leave tonight.”

“
Who’s the bad influence
now?” I called after him, shaking my head and turning down the path
to my dorm.

Darby was already home when I walked
in the door.

“
You didn’t stay out
long,” I said, slipping my keys into the bag I’d brought and
tossing it down on the bed, hoping she hadn’t witnessed Blake and
Jeff’s fight. “Were the red slippers as bad as I
thought?”

Darby’s costume had included red
glitter pumps — authentically Dorothy, but, in my mind, pretty
miserable to stumble around in all night.

She ignored me. I glanced over — Darby
was sitting at her desk, staring forward at her laptop as if I
hadn’t said a word.

“
Darb?” I said again,
trying to get her attention. “Do you have headphones
in?”

Still nothing. She raised her hands to
type something into her email, ignoring me.

“
Hey,” I said, getting
worried. “What’s wrong?”

Her fingers paused on the keys. She
turned around to look at me, and her face was red and puffy, as if
she’d been crying.

“
You tell me,” she said
accusingly. “What could possibly be wrong?”

I racked my brain, trying to figure
out if I’d spilled diet coke on her favorite shoes or forgotten to
lock the door that afternoon. I came up blank.

So I threw out my best
guess.

“
Is this about
Jeff?”

She winced when I said the name, so I
figured I was right, but then her face hardened, and she glared at
me. “What about Jeff?”

“
Jeez, Darby, I’m not a
mind reader,” I said, suddenly feeling defensive. “You didn’t tell
me his name. How was I supposed to know he was the guy you
liked?”

I cared about Darby’s
feelings, but this was going a little far. I wasn’t supposed to
talk to a random guy,
any
random guy, just because he
might
be the one she had a crush
on?

“
So that makes it
okay
?” Darby had raised
her voice, almost yelling now.

“
Makes
what
okay?” I asked, yelling right
back. Darby was acting like I’d actually done something — and I
wasn’t going to back down when I wasn’t in the wrong.

“
If you’re going to cheat
on Blake,” Darby hissed. “You could maybe at least not pick your
roommate’s almost boyfriend.”

I blinked, stunned. And then I felt
myself start to laugh, a loud, hysterical cackle that I was pretty
sure sounded borderline worthy of a mental-patient.

“
What are you talking
about?” I giggled, trying to calm myself down.

“
Oh, please, Casey.” Darby
rolled her eyes, turning back to her laptop. “Everybody knows. I
didn’t believe it till I saw you tonight.”

I felt my stomach cringe, and the
laughter stopped as quickly as it had started.

I asked again, my voice dead serious.
“What are you talking about?”

Darby was still facing her computer
when she muttered the words, not even looking into my eyes. “You
and Jeff. Everybody knows.”

That was as far as she got. Her
fingers hovered over the keyboard, as if trying to distract her
into finishing her sentence.

“
Me and Jeff . . .
what?”

I didn’t really have to ask. I knew
exactly what she was trying to say.

Darby didn’t answer. Both of us sat
for a second, in silence. I could feel my fingers
shaking.

“
That’s not true,” I said,
my voice hoarse and barely above a whisper. I felt dizzy, and I
wasn’t sure if it was from the alcohol or the conversation. “He
walked me home — that’s it.”

Darby’s voice was flat and
emotionless. “That’s not what any of his friends say.” A hint of
bitterness crept in. “That’s not how he was acting
tonight.”

I blinked. “Darby, guys hit on me. It
happens. You can’t seriously think I’d ever cheat on
Blake.”

Darby clenched her fingers
into fists and then flexed them, finally turning around to stare at
me with blazing eyes. “Right,” she spit out. “I forgot. You have
the perfect boyfriend, so why would you possibly want anyone
else’s? But
obviously
they’d all want you.”

“
That’s not what I meant—”
This time I was the one raising my voice. “Why would I possibly do
that? You can’t seriously believe that,” I said, unable to even
wrap my mind around it. “I love Blake.”

Darby’s face flickered, and for a
second I thought I’d gotten through to her. Then it seemed like she
made up her mind, and her eyes narrowed, cold and
focused.

“
Right,” she said, her
voice dripping with sarcasm. “Then why would Blake get into a fight
with him? Come on, Casey.”

I took a deep breath.

“
Who said it?” I said
coldly.

Darby blinked and shook her head, as
if there were too many people to even list. “Matt. Mandy. Other
people too. They had some stupid bet,” she smirked. “About who
could get you first.”

I felt like I was going to throw up.
I’d been parading around in stupid cocktail dresses for a week,
while everyone laughed at me behind my back. Including my
roommate.

“
I’m leaving,” I said,
grabbing my purse off the bed and pulling open the door, hesitating
for a second. “It’s not true,” I said flatly, not even bothering to
look at her. “Jeff is fucking scum. So are the rest of them. Just
so you know.”

I slammed the door.

I ran the whole way to Blake’s dorm,
hurling myself at his door and pounding on it with both my fists,
not caring about who I woke up in the process.

Blake pulled open the door, and I
threw myself into his arms.

“
Fuck it,” I whispered
into his ear, feeling a tear slip down my cheek. “Let’s go.
Tonight.”

Chapter
Fourteen

And that was how I ended up in the
first class lounge at Newark Airport, at two thirty in the morning,
in a Madonna costume.

I couldn’t bear to listen when Blake
changed our tickets — I didn’t even want to know how much a first
class flight across the country would cost, two hours before it
took off.

On the other hand, I’d had three
(four?) glasses of pink punch at that stupid party, and the sooner
I could curl up in a chair and fall asleep for six hours, the
better.

“
We have half an hour,”
Blake said, sliding me a boarding pass across the table. His
knuckles were red and swollen already, and I couldn’t even start to
think about what Jeff’s face probably looked like by
now.

He deserved
it
, I thought to myself. Even if I didn’t
know it at the time.

I didn’t tell Blake the full story —
it was enough for him to know that I’d had a fight with Darby and
wanted to get away for a few days, and he didn’t press further than
that.

The lounge was almost empty, since the
last flights of the night were leaving. A few business travelers
sat near us, tapping on Blackberries or trying to sleep.

I giggled.

“
What’s so funny?” Blake
asked, nudging my foot with his.

“
The last time I was in an
airport, I was running away from you,” I gave him a half smile. It
was the kind of story that was funny only a few months later, when
everything had turned out ok. More or less ok, at least. “Now I’m
running away from everything.”

“
Except me.”

“
Except you,” I
agreed.

Blake smiled, and I smiled back, but
there was something about it that wasn’t quite funny. I’d spent the
last six months running away — from my parents, from Blake, and now
from school. Any sign of trouble, and I was on my way somewhere
else — each time hoping that it would be different, that something
was going to change.

“
Do you remember what you
told me?” I asked. “About how you guys named the band?”

Blake’s eyes darted away from me, like
he was remembering it too. He’d told me the summer before Moving
Neutral got signed, they’d been playing these little venues under a
different name every night, never getting anywhere. When they’d
finally picked a name, Moving Neutral was how Blake had felt that
summer.

“
I feel like that now,” I
said. “Always going, never getting anywhere.”

Blake ran his fingers along my arm,
looking down for a long time.

“
At least you’ve got
somewhere to go,” he said quietly. “Sometimes I feel like I’m
moving in reverse.”