Mr. Darcy Takes the Plunge (25 page)

"Catherine, the reports are not merely gossip. Richard, Fitzwilliam, and Georgiana are, indeed, quite happily betrothed."

"No! A match between Darcy and this Hertfordshire hussy can never take place. Pemberley's heir is engaged to Anne. They are both descended from our noble line, Henry. We must keep all that splendid Darcy fortune in the family."

"When will you cast aside unmitigated avarice for the Darcy fortune and irrational jealousy of your own sister? For once and for all, Anne did not steal George away from you. He has always been a perfectionist and recognized your flaws upon first acquaintance. Pemberley and the other Darcy estates and wealth are lost to you just as surely as Rosings will be because of Lewis' will. Perhaps instead of a match between Anne and Fitzwilliam, you more wisely should have promoted one for her with Richard. Nevertheless, have no fear, Catherine. My second son is a generous man and will, no doubt, allow you to live in the dower house when he inherits Rosings on the eight-and-twentieth anniversary of his birth. By the way, since that day quickly approaches and he is now engaged, we should inform him of the legacy. It is, indeed, unfortunate Lewis died before you could produce a male heir; even so, you shall certainly not be cast out into the hedgerows. Of course, this is all speculation on my part and contingent on your behaviour over the next few months. I have been in favour of committing you to Bedlam each time you have one of your episodes, although the rest of the family has strongly objected to such harsh treatment. Behave yourself, and you may be allowed to stay out of the asylum; the decision is yours, sister dear."

"You would not dare be so cruel and callous to your own sibling. In any event, Henry ... What in perdition's pit was that?"

"What was what? Are you hallucinating again, Catherine? Do you see pink elephants?"

"No. That. It sounds like laughter ... Anne's laughter! To what wickedness is my daughter now being exposed in this unholy, heathen house of hedonism?"

Lady Catherine de Bourgh stormed off and followed the sound of female giggles and male guffaws to the drawing room, where she was horrified to find Anne and an unknown young man sitting together on a sofa. Her daughter's companion, the elderly Mrs. Ann Teak, quietly sewed in a corner and was overlooked by the enraged woman. Anne and Bingley abruptly stopped laughing upon Lady Catherine's sudden appearance; and the gentleman stood, then quickly stepped back as far as the sofa would allow when the harridan advanced upon him and flailed her deadly looking cane in his direction.

Ann Teak made her presence known, but Lady Catherine was not placated. "Mrs. Teak, you are dismissed. Permanently. Anne, go pack your belongings immediately." The walking stick was held against Bingley's chest as she addressed him. "And you, whoever you are, how dare you have designs on Miss Anne de Bourgh of Rosings Park. Well, speak, man. Who are you?"

"Ma'am, I am Charles Bing ... "

"Mr. Bing, do you know who I am? I am Anne's mother and am, therefore, entitled to know every teeny-tiny, minuscule detail of her life. Now, who are you, and what are your intentions?"

"Mother, please allow me to introdu ... "

"Anne, are you still here? What did I just tell you to do?"

"Well, if you cannot remember, I do not believe I should have to tell you."

"Obstinate, headstrong girl! Who is this male person?"

"Mother, this is Mr. Charles Bing ... "

"Yes, yes! You have both now told me his name. Be that as it may, who are you, Charles Bing? Who are your parents, uncles, and aunts? What are your bloodlines, wealth, and connections? What is your business here? Let me be rightly understood, Mr. Bing. If you dare have the presumption to aspire to a match with my daughter, I must tell you such an understanding can never take place. No, never! Contrary to popular belief," continued the contrary harridan, "Anne is engaged to my nephew, Fitzwilliam Darcy. Now what have you to say?"

Charles desperately tried to remember all the questions fired at him but was saved from having to say anything by the arrival of Miss de Bourgh's uncle. The Earl of Matlock informed his sister that Mr. Bingley was a guest in his home and had been so on numerous occasions, as he was Richard's good friend. He then asked her to kindly refrain from further interrogation of the chap and inquired if she needed to be escorted to her carriage.

Anne saw the terrible transformation begin when her mother's face contorted with anger; and the fast-thinking young woman grabbed Bingley's hands, placed them over his innocent ears, and held them in place as Lady Catherine de Bourgh began to cuss like a sailor. Her profanity continued until she was all s-worn out, had worn out her welcome, and was escorted to her waiting carriage.

C
hapter II

Cato, and Caroline, and Catherine! Oh, My!

"It hardly seemr,s fai Elizabeth," said Darcy petulantly. "Fitz and your sister only have one chaperone while we have five. Tell me, have you heard the expression 'two's company, three's a crowd?'"

She nodded.

"Well, what is four and five?"

"Nine?"

"Actually, I believe 'four's too many, and five's not allowed.'"

"Well, sir, do you know why six was afraid of seven?"

"No. But I wager you are just itching to tell me."

"Six was afraid of seven, because seven eight nine." Darcy looked serious, so Lizzy rolled her eyes and explained. "Seven
ate
nine, as in consumed, devoured, partook of ... Oh, my! I suddenly feel like Little Red Riding Hood. Why are you staring at me in such a wolfish manner, sir?"

"What fine eyes you have, Elizabeth."

"All the better to see you with, Mr. Darcy."

"Mr. Darcy is your father-in-law-to-be. Will you not call me Fitzwilliam when we are alone?"

"With five chaperones, we are hardly alone, Fitzwilliam."

He glanced at the others, noticed they were all engrossed in the game of marbles, and took advantage of the opportunity to move closer to Elizabeth on the park bench. Darcy slid his arm along the top of the seat behind her and contemplated pulling her into an embrace and stealing a kiss. He was just gathering enough courage to make a move when they were startled by cries of alarm from the children, and they hurried over to the grassy field where Kitty, Lydia, and Robert had been playing under the watchful eyes of Alice and Baines. One of Kitty's marbles had rolled far out of bounds; and when Elizabeth and Darcy reached the others, they saw with dismay Lydia had discovered a dead sparrow. The little girl was kneeling by the body of the bird; she lifted teary eyes, looked at the gentleman and asked, "What happened to it, sir?"

Darcy squatted down to the little girl's level and explained the sparrow had died and gone to heaven. Robert ran to Darcy, climbed onto his knee, almost threw the man off balance, and raised his arms to be picked up. When Darcy complied, Robert asked, "Did God throw the birdie back down, Mither Darthy?"

One advantage of not having animals in the house was the Bennet children had not suffered the loss of a beloved pet. Darcy had experienced such heartbreak more than once; so, as his mother had done for him, he explained it as best as he could to the youngsters. "Death is a part of life, and most animals have a shorter lifespan than humans." He said the sparrow was probably old or ill and no longer needed its earthly body. Darcy then suggested they bury the bird in the woods and sent Baines off to find an implement with which to dig a small hole.

While they waited for the footman, Robert was a source of nonstop questions. "Will he be happy in heaven? Will he fly around again there? Will he meet God? Will he be with other sparrows? Will he find something to eat when he gets hungry? Will he sleep on a cloud?" When Kitty suggested a name be chosen for the poor creature before it was buried, Darcy decided 'Willie' would be a good choice; and the others agreed.

When the deed was done and an improvised eulogy delivered by Kitty, Robert was instructed to gently refill the hole with soil. Darcy crafted a cross from two twigs bound into formation with long blades of grass, and he placed it into the ground at the head of the grave. At his suggestion, Lydia picked flowers and added them to the memorial; Darcy kindly did not mention they were weeds that made him sneeze. Elizabeth hugged her siblings and needlessly worried they might be upset for quite some time; however, the children soon completely forgot the incident and skipped away to return to their game of marbles.

"Mr. Darcy, I mean Fitzwilliam, you will make a very fine father some day."

"Am I so trans-
parent
, Elizabeth?" He smiled and kissed her hand. "If our children are as adorable as your brother and sisters, my love, we shall be blessed. I very much look forward to experiencing parenthood with you, for I know you will be an absolutely perfect mother." They stood toe-to-toe, looking into each other's eyes, and envisioned their future together until Baines cleared his throat and Alice suggested the children move along to the pond to feed ducks and geese.

The servants had each been given strict orders not to allow the two couples any time alone. Miss Edwards had assumed the duty of chaperoning Colonel Fitzwilliam and Jane, who had decided to take a stroll. The governess trailed along behind as the engaged couple led her along the garden path.

"Achoo! Oh, Miss Edwards, I have foolishly forgotten to put a handkerchief in my reticule. Would you please return to my sister and ask if she has a spare one I may borrow?"

Although young, the governess was not born yesterday. "There is no need, Miss Bennet. I have a clean one right here." She handed a prettily embroidered linen cloth to the unappreciative other lady.

Jane rolled her eyes at her fiance. "Thank you, Miss Edwards. Oh, look! Perhaps Kitty, Lydia, and Robert would care to join us, for I see there is a puppet booth set up on the other side of the pond." Jane pointed across the water to where children were sitting on the grass, laughing at the antics of Punch and Judy. "It would be a shame for my sisters and brother to miss the show. Please fetch them, Miss Edwards. The Colonel and I will wait right here for you." Jane smiled sweetly, and the governess could not believe the angelic Miss Bennet would allow any impropriety to occur in the short time it would take to follow orders. She gave a quick curtsey and hurried away.

Richard Fitzwilliam did not take time to look a gift horse in the mouth. He was more interested in much, much sweeter lips. "I have always appreciated a good Punch and Judy skit; yet, strangely enough, today I do not care for such entertainment. I much prefer the farce you just performed, Jane. Will you walk with me off the beaten path?"

Jane was a bit skittish. "But, sir, I told Miss Edwards we would wait right here. Truly, it was not pretence. I do want my sisters and brother to enjoy the puppets."

"As do I. However, we can just take a short jaunt through these trees and return before the others arrive. Dearest, I will not act against your wishes. The decision is yours. We will remain rooted to this very spot if that is what you desire."

Jane considered her options for a moment; still and all, what she desired was looking at her so disarmingly, she could not resist. "Very well. But just for a brief duration. We must be back here prior to the rest of our party."

Richard grinned, snatched her hand, and pulled her off the path behind a thicket of evergreen trees. The two wasted no time but did lose track of it.

Because the others were headed toward the pond anyway, Miss Edwards soon met them on the path. Alice was concerned and drew her aside to inquire why Martha had abandoned her post as chaperone. The governess assured her the couple would be the epitome of propriety and would be found waiting out in the open by the pond exactly where she left them.

When the three children heard about the puppet theatre, Lydia and Robert ran off in different directions to get around the water, eager to not miss another minute of the show. The little boy had not gotten far before he fell and scraped his knee on the gravel; and Alice immediately hastened to care for her charge while Baines and Kitty chased after Lydia, and the governess anxiously hurried back to her chaperoning duty.

Elizabeth made sure her brother was not seriously injured and agreed when Alice decided it would be best to take the sobbing toddler home. Darcy volunteered to carry Robert, but the nursemaid assured him she was used to lifting the poppet. In her concern for the child, she did not give a second thought to leaving the lovers alone.

The gentleman turned to his beloved and said, "Well, Elizabeth, it seems I am to once again enjoy the privilege of your exclusive company. When last we were alone, you accepted my proposal; so I wonder to what you might agree this time."
Perchance, a kiss on your luscious lips?

"Do you have something specific in mind, perhaps, sir?"
Perchance, a kiss on my receptive lips?

"Indeed I do have a goal in mind, madam." He slowly raised her hand to his lips but did not stop looking into the windows to her soul. Elizabeth's heart rate increased as Darcy kissed her knuckles, her palm, and then peeled back a bit of her glove to touch his lips to her racing pulse. She tore her gaze away from his intense regard and rather breathlessly asked, "Have you reached your goal yet, sir?"

"Not yet, Elizabeth, but I am getting warmer."

As am I.
"Fitzwilliam, we cannot possibly continue in this manner on a public path. As much as I am enjoying your ... oh! ... touching attentions, I must beg you to stop."
Oh, do be quiet, Lizzy!

"I am sorry, love. I did not intend to make you uneasy, and you are quite correct." Darcy gently tugged her glove into place. "Please forgive me." He was about to offer his arm when he was distracted by three young lads as they chased a small creature through the trees just off to the left of the path. "Here! What are you boys about? Leave off at once! Excuse me, my dear, but I must investigate."

His long strides soon gained on the youths, and Darcy was angered to discover they were after a kitten. The small ginger cat had taken refuge in an oak tree, and two of the boys threw twigs at it to make it come down while the other gripped a low branch and attempted to climb after the feline.

"Leave off, I said!" Fitzwilliam Darcy was a tall, formidable man and could be quite intimidating when he set his mind to it. The boys took one look at his menacing approach, ditched their plan, and fled the scene of the crime. The gentleman was incensed by such mistreatment of an animal but decided not to give pursuit, as he was more concerned for the welfare of the kitten.

Martha Edwards hastened to the place where Miss Bennet should have been waiting with her handsome officer. She glanced to the left, ahead, and across the pond; but the affianced couple was nowhere to be seen. The governess stomped her foot in frustration at quite literally being led along the garden path by the innocent-looking eldest daughter of her employers. When Miss Edwards looked behind, she saw Baines, Miss Kitty, and Miss Lydia approaching. Not wanting to alarm the girls, she explained the situation to the footman in a low, urgent voice.

Baines was aghast. "Miss Edwards, I am shocked. But is a tryst certain, absolutely certain?"

"Well, no. Nonetheless, I do suspect they have made a May game of me. How are they to be discovered? I have not the smallest hope. It is in every way horrible, and I shall surely be dismissed."

The footman shook his head in silent acquiescence and made no answer. He seemed scarcely to hear her and was walking up and down the path in earnest meditation, his brow contracted, and his air gloomy. His position was on the line as well, for he had been entrusted with guarding the reputations of Miss Bennet and Miss Elizabeth.
Miss Elizabeth!!
He swivelled his head around in search of her pretty face, chestnut hair, deep red pelisse, and matching bonnet. "Miss Edwards, where are Miss Elizabeth and her young gentleman?"

"Baines! I thought they were with you! Please do not tell me we have lost
both
young ladies we were ordered to protect!"

Elizabeth had followed her fiance off the path and found him pacing back and forth, raking his fingers through his hair, and peering up into the tree. He was distracted from the plaintive mewling of the stranded creature by a twig that snapped as Elizabeth approached. He startled and said, "Ah, Elizabeth. My dear, would you mind very much if I remove my coat? I will attempt a rescue but know from past experience a tight coat can be quite constrictive during such an activity. I know it is improper. Would you be offended?"

"Mr. Darcy, we are engaged; and you forget I have already seen you in far less."

"Oh, God. I had forgotten. Thank you for reminding me, though. One needs a good dose of humiliation now and then."

"You must not feel humiliated, sir. I quite enjoyed seeing you less formally attired."

Darcy smirked and considered teasing her about 'handsome barbarians', but he was curious. "What really was your first impression during that encounter?"

He passed her the discarded coat, limbered up, and hefted himself onto the most easily accessible branch. The kitten stared down at him in alarm for a moment and then climbed up another level. Lizzy admired her future husband's obvious strength as he effortlessly pulled himself higher and higher.

"Here kitty, kitty. Come on, kitty. Come here, sweetheart," he cooed.

Elizabeth was glad Kitty was not present and also thought herself quite ridiculous for being jealous of his calling an animal 'sweetheart'.

"I am still waiting, my love. Please answer the question about your first impression of me," he called down.

She was mollified by the endearment. "Well, I remember thinking you were a buffoon."

Darcy nearly lost his balance as he twisted around to glare down at his beloved tormentor. "Miss Elizabeth Bennet! I cannot believe you thought of me as an ass!"

Because she had been ogling a particular part of his anatomy as he climbed, the young lady lowered her gaze and blushed at being caught. When asked if his second appearance improved her opinion, she spoke honestly. "Yes. I distinctly remember admiring your rich brown hair and brazenly wondering how it would feel to run my fingers through it."

Darcy briefly closed his eyes and imagined how it would feel. "Elizabeth, please. I am trying to concentrate on my rather precarious position here. You, my dear, are proving to be quite a distraction."
... especially since you insist on standing directly below me. Your neckline is something I can look down on and approve of at the same time.

"Speaking of precarious, Fitzwilliam, I may be going out on a limb, but I do not think it wise for you to venture onto that particular one. The branch does not seem sturdy enough to support your bulk."