Mr Midshipman Easy (49 page)

“I am afraid my poor father's head is an exhausted receiver,” thought Jack, who then replied, “Well, sir, if it succeeds it will be a good invention.”

“If it succeeds!—why, it has succeeded—it cannot fail. It has cost me near two thousand pounds. By-the-bye, Jack, you have drawn very liberally lately, and I had some trouble, with my own expenses, to meet your bills; not that I complain—but what with societies, and my machine, and tenants refusing to pay their rents, on the principle that the farms are no more mine than theirs, which I admit to be true, I have had some difficulty in meeting all demands.”

“The governor was right,” thought Jack, who now inquired after Dr Middleton.

“Ah, poor silly man! he's alive yet—l believe doing well. He is one who will interfere with the business of others, complains of my servants—very silly man indeed—but I let him have his own way. So I did your poor mother. Silly woman, Mrs Easy—but never mind that.”

“If you please, sir, I have also a complaint to make of the servants for their insolence to me: but we will adjourn, if you please, as I wish to have some refreshment.”

“Certainly, Jack, if you are hungry; I will go with you. Complain of my servants, say you?—there must be some mistake—they are all shaved, and wear wigs, and I put them in the machine every other morning; but I mean to make an alteration in one respect. You observe, Jack, it requires more dignity: we must raise the whole machinery some feet, ascend it with state as a throne, for it is the throne of reason, the victory of mind over nature.”

“As you please, sir; but I am really hungry just now.”

Jack and his father went into the drawing-room and rang the bell; not being answered, Jack rose and rang again.

“My dear sir,” observed Mr Easy, “you must not be in a hurry; every man naturally provides for his own wants first, and afterwards for those of others. Now my servants—”

“Are a set of insolent scoundrels, sir, and insolence I never permit. I knocked one down as I entered your house, and, with your permission, I will discharge two, at least, tomorrow.”

“My dear son,” exclaimed Mr Easy, “you knocked my servant down! —are you not aware, by the laws of equality—”

“I am aware of this, my dear father,” replied Jack, “that by all the laws of society we have a right to expect civility and obedience from those we pay and feed.”

“Pay and feed! Why, my dear son,—my dear Jack,—you must recollect—”

“I recollect, sir, very well; but if your servants do not come to their recollection in a very short time, either I or they must quit the house.”

“But, my dear boy, have you forgotten the principles I instilled into you? Did you not go to sea to obtain that equality foiled by tyranny and despotism here on shore? Do you not acknowledge and support my philosophy?”

“We'll argue that point to-morrow, sir—at present I want to obtain my supper;” and Jack rang the bell furiously.

The butler made his appearance at this last summons, and he was followed by Mesty, who looked like a demon with anger.

“Mercy on me, whom have we here?”

“My servant, father,” exclaimed Jack, starting up; “one that I can trust to, and who will obey me. Mesty, I wish some supper and wine to be brought immediately—see that scoundrel gets it ready in a moment. If he does not, throw him out of the door, and lock him out. You understand me.”

“Yes, Massa,” grinned Mesty; “now you hab supper very quick, or Mesty know the reason why. Follow me, sar,” cried Mesty, in an imperative tone to the butler: “quick, sar, or by de holy poker, I show you what Mesty can do;” and Mesty grinned in his wrath.

“Bring supper and wine immediately,” said Mr Easy, giving an order such as the butler had never heard since he had been in the house.

The butler quitted the room, followed by the Ashantee.

“My dear boy—my Jack—I can make every allowance for hunger, it is often the cause of theft and crime in the present unnatural state of society— but really you are too violent. The principles—”

“Your principles are all confounded nonsense, father,” cried Jack, in a rage.

“What, Jack!—my son—what do I hear? This from you—nonsense! Why, Jack, what has Captain Wilson being doing with you?”

“Bringing me to my senses, sir.”

“Oh dear! oh dear! my dear Jack, you will certainly make me lose mine.”

“Gone already,” thought Jack.

“That you, my child, so carefully brought up in the great and glorious school of philosophy, should behave this way—should be so violent—forget your sublime philosophy, and all—just like Esau, selling your birthright for a mess of pottage. Oh, Jack, you'll kill me! and yet I love you, Jack—whom else have I to love in this world? Never mind, we'll argue the point, my boy—I'll convince you—in a week all will be right again.”

“It shall, sir, if I can manage it,” replied Jack.

“That's right, I love to hear you say so—that's consoling, very consoling —but I think now, I was wrong to let you go to sea, Jack.”

“Indeed you were not, father.”

“Well, I'm glad to hear you say so: I thought they had ruined you, destroyed all your philosophy—but it will be all right again—you shall come to our societies, Jack—I am president—you shall hear me speak, Jack—you shall hear me thunder like Demosthenes—but here comes the tray.”

The butler, followed by Mesty, who attended him as if he was his prisoner, now made his appearance with the tray, laid it down in a sulky manner, and retired. Jack desired Mesty to remain.

“Well, Mesty, how are they getting on in the servants' hall?”

“Regular mutiny, sar—ab swear dat they no stand our nonsense, and dat we both leave the house to-morrow.”

“Do you hear, sir? your servants declare that I shall leave your house to-morrow.”

“You leave my house, Jack, after four years, absence!—no, no. I'll reason with them—I'll make them a speech. You don't know how I can speak, Jack.”

“Look you, father, I cannot stand this; either give me a carte-blanche to arrange this household as I please, or I shall quit it myself tomorrow morning.”

“Quit my house, Jack! no, no—shake hands and make friends with them; be civil, and they will serve you—but you know, upon the principles—”

“Principles of the devil!” cried Jack, in a rage.

“Of the devil, Jack; dear me! I wish you had never gone to sea.”

“In one word, sir, do you consent, or am I to leave the house?”

“Leave the house! O no; not leave the house, Jack. I have no son but you. Then do as you please—but you must not send away my murderer, for I must have him cured, and shown as a proof of my wonderful invention.”

“Mesty, get my pistols ready for to-morrow morning, and your own too—do ye hear?”

“All ready, massa,” replied Mesty; “I tink dat right.”

“Right!—pistols, Jack! What do you mean?”

“It is possible, father, that you may not have yet quite cured your murderer, and therefore it is as well to be prepared. I will now wish you good-night; but, before I go, you will be pleased to summon one of the servants, that he may inform the others that the household is under my control for the future.”

The bell was again rung, and was this time answered with more expedition. Jack told the servant, in presence of his father, that, with the consent of the latter, he should hereafter take the whole control of the establishment, and that Mesty would be the major-domo from whom they would receive their orders. The man stared, and cast an appealing look to Mr Easy, who hesitated, and at last said—

“Yes, William; you'll apologise to all, and say that I have made the arrangement.”

“You apologise to none, sir,” cried Jack; “but tell them that I will arrange the whole business to-morrow morning. Tell the woman to come here and show me my bed-room. Mesty, get your supper and then come up to me; if they dare to refuse you, recollect who does, and point them out to-morrow morning. That will do, sir; away with you, and bring flat candlesticks.”

THIS SCENE may give some idea of the state of Mr Easy's household upon our hero's arrival. The poor lunatic, for such we must call him, was at the mercy of his servants, who robbed, laughed at, and neglected him. The waste and expense were enormous. Our hero, who found how matters stood, went to bed, and lay the best part of the night resolving what to do. He determined to send for Dr Middleton, and consult him.

The next morning, Jack rose early; Mesty was in the room, with warm water, as soon as he rang.

“By de power, Massa Easy, your fader very silly old man.”

“I'm afraid so,” replied Jack.

“He not right here,” observed Mesty, putting his fingers to his head.

Jack sighed, and desired Mesty to send one of the grooms up to the door. When the man knocked he desired him to mount a horse and ride over to Dr Middleton, and request his immediate attendance.

The man, who was really a good servant, replied, “Yes, sir,” very respectfully, and hastened away.

Jack went down to breakfast, and found it all ready, but his father was not in the room: he went to his study, and found him occupied, with the carpenter, who was making a sort of a frame as the model of the platform or dais, to be raised under the wonderful invention. Mr Easy was so busy that he could not come to breakfast, so Jack took his alone. An hour after this, Dr Middleton's carriage drove up to the door. The Doctor heartily greeted our hero.

“My dear sir—for so I suppose I must now call you—I am heartily glad that you have returned. I can assure you that it is not a moment too soon.”

“I have found out that already, Doctor,” replied Jack; “sit down. Have you breakfasted?”

“No, I have not; for I was so anxious to see you, that I ordered my carriage at once.”

“Then sit down, Doctor, and we will talk over matters quietly.”

“You of course perceive the state of your father. He has been some time quite unfit to manage his own affairs.”

“So I am afraid.”

“What do you intend to do, then—put them in the hands of trustees?”

“I will be trustee for myself, Dr Middleton. I could not do the other without submitting my poor father to a process, and confinement, which I cannot think of.”

“I can assure you, that there are not many in Bedlam worse than he is; but I perfectly agree with you; that is, if he will consent to your taking charge of the property.”

“A power of attorney will be all that is requisite,” replied Jack; “that is, as soon as I have rid the house of the set of miscreants who are in it; and who are now in open mutiny.”

“I think,” replied the Doctor, “that you will have some trouble. You know the character of the butler.”

“Yes, I have it from my father's own mouth. I really should take it as a great favour, Dr Middleton, if you could stay here a day or two. I know that you have retired from practice.”

“I would have made the same offer, my young friend. I will come here with two of my servants; for you must discharge these.”

“I have one of my own who is worth his weight in gold—that will be sufficient. I will dismiss every man you think I ought; and as for the women, we can give them warning, and replace them at leisure.”

“That is exactly what I should propose,” replied the Doctor. “I will now go, if you please; procure the assistance of a couple of constables, and also of your father's former legal adviser, who shall prepare a power of attorney.”

“Yes,” replied Jack, “and we must then find out the tenants who refuse to pay upon the principles of equality, and he shall serve them with notice immediately.”

“I am rejoiced, my dear young friend, to perceive that your father's absurd notions have not taken root.”

“They lasted some time, nevertheless, Doctor,” replied Jack, laughing.

“Well, then, I will only quit you for an hour or two, and then, as you wish it, will take up my quarters here as long as you find me useful.”

In the forenoon, Dr Middleton again made his appearance, accompanied by Mr Hanson, the solicitor, bringing with him his portmanteau and his servants. Mr Easy had come into the parlour, and was at breakfast when they entered. He received them very coolly; but a little judicious praise of the wonderful invention had its due effect; and after Jack had reminded him of his promise that, in future, he was to control the household, he was easily persuaded to sign the order for his so doing—that is, the power of attorney.

Mr Easy also gave up to Jack the key of his escritoire, and Mr Hanson possessed himself of the books, papers, and receipts necessary to ascertain the state of his affairs, and the rents which had not yet been paid up. In the meantime the constables arrived. The servants were all summoned; Mr Hanson showed them the power of attorney, empowering Jack to act for his father, and, in less than half-an-hour afterwards, all the men-servants, but two grooms, were dismissed; the presence of the constables and Mesty prevented any resistance, but not without various threats on the part of the butler, whose name was O'Rourke. Thus, in twenty-four hours, Jack had made a reformation in the household.

Mr Easy took no notice of anything; he returned to his study and his wonderful invention. Mesty had received the keys of the cellar, and had now complete control over those who remained. Dr Middleton, Mr Hanson, Mr Easy, and Jack, sat down to dinner, and everything wore the appearance of order and comfort. Mr Easy ate very heartily, but said nothing till after dinner, when as was his usual custom, he commenced arguing upon the truth and soundness of his philosophy.

“By-the-bye, my dear son, if I recollect right, you told me last night that you were no longer of my opinion. Now, if you please, we will argue this point.”