Authors: Debbie Macomber
Some marriages are made in heaven, but they all have to be maintained on earth.
—Mrs. Miracle
S
haron Palmer’s marriage was dying. A long, slow, painful death. She sat on the edge of her mattress and brushed her fingers through the thick tangles in her dark, rich hair.
She’d slept far later than normal, but she didn’t feel rested. A part of her longed to crawl back into bed, bury her head under a pillow, and weep. She wasn’t sure why she should feel this way. Then again, she did know. Jerry.
Her gaze drifted to the rumpled half of the other side of the bed. She’d slept next to the same man for nearly forty years. That should account for something. It was a sad commentary that she could have lived with Jerry all this time and
come to the sudden realization that she no longer loved him. No, that was too harsh. Of course she loved Jerry. She’d loved him from the moment she’d first seen him as a college freshman. So brash and handsome. Her heart had pounded like a ramrod against her youthful breast at the mere sight of him. In the last three decades together they’d borne, raised, and educated three children.
And buried one.
When did this unhappiness, this discontent, start? she wondered. Sharon tried to trace the path of her dissatisfaction, but no clear answer came to her.
After Pamela’s death, she guessed. Sharon’s entire world had been tossed upside-down with the loss of their only daughter. Then the twins had come to live with her and Jerry. Having the babies with them had helped ease the shock and pain. With two toddlers underfoot, Sharon hadn’t had time to grieve or dwell on her loss. Her day had been absorbed with the care and feeding of her grandchildren. The twins had helped Jerry deal with Pamela’s death as well.
When they’d first heard the horrible news, they’d wept in each other’s arms. Clinging to one another had helped them through the terrible dark weeks that followed. Soon afterward, however, Jerry had grown introspective and sullen; but then the children had come to live with them and that had all changed. With Judd and Jason
around he was soon his old self again. Both patient and indulgent with the kids, Jerry had been wonderful. And not only with the twins, but with her as well. Then, as time progressed, all that had subtly changed.
Just recently her husband had retired. They’d talked about traveling, playing golf, developing other interests. It had all sounded so good. Sleeping in every morning, staying up late. Chasing each other around the house like newlyweds.
Only none of those things had come to pass. Jerry had retired, and once again their well-organized life had taken a sharp turn for the unexpected.
Sharon had believed that once the twins returned to their father everything would right itself again, but that hadn’t been the case. Whatever was wrong between her and her husband had intensified in the months since Judd and Jason had gone back to live with Seth.
“It’s about time you were awake.” Her husband paused in the doorway leading to their bedroom. Looking at him, Sharon reflected that even now, in his early sixties, Jerry was a fine figure of a man. Although his hair had receded from his forehead, it was a thick mixture of white and gray. He remained fit and routinely played eighteen holes of golf with his friends. Several of Sharon’s friends envied her outright and told her she was fortunate to have such an attractive, active husband.
“I thought you might be tempted to stay in bed all morning.” He didn’t need to tell her he disapproved of her sleeping in: the message came across loud and clear. His gaze rested briefly on the clock next to the bed. “It’s eight-thirty already. I made my own breakfast.”
This too was a not-so-subtle accusation. For more years than she wanted to count, she’d cooked Jerry’s breakfast. Even when she’d held down a forty-hour-a-week job of her own, she’d taken the time to see that he left the house with a warm meal in his stomach.
“You sick or something?” he pressed.
“No.”
“How late did you stay up, anyway?”
“Around eleven or so. Not late.” They rarely went to bed at the same time these days. She couldn’t remember the last time they’d made love. Months ago, she realized sadly. But then they were both over sixty, and a decrease in sexual activity was to be expected. At least that was what she told herself.
“Did you look over those travel brochures?”
“Yes.” She stood and walked toward her closet. Jerry had suggested a cruise sometime after the first of the year. It had sounded good, in theory. She envisioned visiting exotic locations, shopping in the Far East. The Orient had always intrigued her. But Jerry wanted none of that. He’d decided early on that if they were going to cruise, it would be through the Panama Canal.
“Well,” he said with a bite of impatience, “which cruise line did you decide on?”
She turned around and glared at her husband. This was the big compromise. He decided where they would tour and she was given the opportunity to choose which cruise line. “I don’t care. They all look the same to me. You decide.”
Jerry scowled at her.
Sharon could see that her answer didn’t please him, but that didn’t concern her, either. It didn’t matter to her which cruise ship they booked. Not when she had no desire to spend thousands of dollars to visit a destination that had never appealed to her.
“You want me to decide?”
“Feel free.” He did everything else, why not this?
“I’d appreciate it if you showed a little more enthusiasm. We’ve been planning this trip for years.”
“We?” That was almost enough to make her laugh. “You were the one who wanted to see the Panama Canal, not me.”
It was as though he hadn’t heard her. “Why do you always leave everything to me?”
It amazed her that he didn’t know. She wondered if her husband had always been obtuse.
“I’m trying to arrange the vacation of our lives,” he muttered impatiently, “and you’re fighting me every step of the way.”
“I’m not fighting you.”
“Then the least you can do is show a little enthusiasm,” he snapped.
She pinched her lips together to keep from arguing. Jerry was right. This cruise meant a great deal to him. He’d talked of little else for weeks—no, months. Ever since it was decided the twins would move back with their father.
“I’d like to spend Christmas with Seth and the children.” The best way to handle discord, Sharon had learned early on in their relationship, was to change the subject. And of late it was the only way they could remain civil with each other, bouncing like a Ping-Pong ball from one subject to the next.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Why not?” she demanded defiantly. He had selfishly insisted on the cruise he wanted. All she cared about was sharing the holidays with her two precious grandchildren. “Clay and Neal won’t be home and—”
“The twins are only now adjusting to life with Seth. I don’t think it’d be a good idea for us to interfere.”
“I’m not going to interfere!” She reached for the brush and jerked it through the long, thick tresses. Tugging at the tangles brought unexpected tears to her eyes. She’d been married to Jerry all these years. Had loved him, borne his children, kept his home. Yet the man she’d married, the man she’d spent the last forty years of her life loving, didn’t know her. Not really.
It hadn’t been easy for her to hand her grandchildren back to their father. Jerry didn’t seem to
realize or appreciate what it had cost her to send the twins home with Seth. The emptiness in her life had never been more pronounced.
“I just don’t think it’s a good idea,” Jerry insisted.
The hot surge of anger that assaulted her came as a surprise. She fought down the urge to throw the brush and shout. Her fingers tightened around the handle until her hand ached. Sharon wasn’t sure what would have happened if the phone hadn’t rung at precisely that moment.
“I’ll get it.” Grateful for the intrusion, she walked over to the bedstand. “Hello,” she greeted as if her world were in perfect order, when it felt as if the edges had crumpled beyond repair.
“Grandma, it’s Jason.”
“Jason.” Sharon’s heart gladdened instantly. She routinely talked to the twins once a week. She worried about them. Worried that they missed her and would have a difficult time adjusting to their new lives in Seattle. “How are you, sweetheart?”
“I miss you.”
She bit down on her lower lip at the swell of tenderness she experienced for her grandson. “I miss you, too. How’s everything?”
“Okay. You know Mrs. Hampston quit, don’t you?”
Jason asked this with glee, as if he were reporting a good grade on a school project. Sharon had heard that bit of unfortunate news a couple of weeks earlier. She realized the kids weren’t thrilled with Mrs. Hampston, but Seth was fortu
nate to have found someone dependable. Especially in light of what had happened with the other housekeepers.
“Judd and I didn’t like her.”
“Has your father hired a replacement?” Sharon could hear background noise and suspected Judd was demanding the phone. It was his turn to talk.
The sounds of a scuffle ensued. “Jason! Judd!” It did her little good to shout into the mouthpiece. A couple of minutes passed before Seth came on the line.
“Sharon, are you still there?”
“What’s going on?”
He apparently thought she was asking about the twins. “Sorry, the kids were squabbling—”
“I mean with the housekeeper.”
“Not to worry, I’ve got someone new.”
Sharon was relieved. “That’s good.”
“No need to concern yourself. Everything’s coming along nicely. No more mishaps, this one fits right in.”
“I’m glad to hear it, but do you need—” She stopped herself in time from asking if he needed her. She had decided that when the twins moved back to Seattle, she’d wouldn’t rush to the rescue the minute something went awry.
“Everything’s fine, you don’t need to worry. Mrs. Miracle stepped in as if she’d been with me from the beginning.”
“Mrs. Miracle?”
“Her name’s actually Merkle, but the kids call her Mrs. Miracle.”
“Does she know about Jason’s—” Again she stopped herself from speaking. She wasn’t the one responsible for the twins any longer. Matters were well in hand with Seth, and he’d see to it that the children’s needs were met. Then she cast a glance toward Jerry and sat up a bit straighter. It irritated her that he would tell her she couldn’t see the children over Christmas. “Have you made any plans for the holidays, Seth?”
“Not yet. If you’re thinking of paying a visit, the kids and I would love it.”
“You’re sure?” The relief was evident in her voice. She noticed Jerry glancing her way, but she ignored him.
“Positive. Judd and Jason would be thrilled. They’re involved in the church Christmas pageant and would love it if you and Jerry could be there to see them. I won’t say anything to the kids, of course, not until your plans are definite, but we’d love to have you.”
Even from where she was standing, Sharon could see her husband’s shoulders tense.
Hearing Seth’s enthusiasm, Sharon felt the faint stirring of her own. It wouldn’t be Christmas without Judd and Jason. Despite Jerry’s protests, she fully intended to spend the holidays with her grandchildren. Their sons, Clay and Neal, had both made other plans and wouldn’t be
home. Sharon could see no reason to spend the day alone. Christmas was an empty holiday without children; she and Jerry hadn’t celebrated the season alone in years. Only when the boys or the grandchildren were with them had they bought each other presents or done much of anything. The thought of remaining in California when she could be with her precious grandchildren was intolerable.
“I’ll make the arrangements, then, as soon as I can,” she said into the phone.
“Wonderful.”
They must have talked ten minutes more before she replaced the telephone receiver. She released a soft sigh of satisfaction, but not because she’d decided to ignore her husband’s wishes. If the truth be known, she’d rather not defy Jerry. But it would take a lot more than her husband to stand between her and her grandchildren, no matter how many years they’d been married.
“I wish you hadn’t said anything about Christmas,” Jerry said, his words stiff and tight with anger.
“Why? It’s time to make the flight arrangements. Past time, really.”
“I told you that I didn’t think it was a good idea to visit the kids.”
“And I disagree. I miss them. They’re as much a part of me as my own children.” She stopped short of reminding him that Judd and Jason felt as much like her own children as the
ones she’d borne herself. Surely he could understand that.
“I want you to call Seth back and tell him—”
“I most certainly will not!” Sharon cried, too outraged even to let him finish. With her housecoat flowing behind her like the train of a wedding dress, she swept out of the bedroom.
She stood in the kitchen and looked around her, eyes narrowing at the sight. Jerry had cooked his own breakfast all right, and he’d used every frying pan in the house to do it. Her spotlessly clean kitchen resembled a construction site. The travel brochures for the Panama cruise littered the round oak table.
Jerry followed her, his face red and his eyes hot. She rarely went against her husband, but she was standing her ground now. He walked toward the phone.
“Who are you phoning?”
“Seth.” He lifted the receiver from the hook.
“If you call Seth, I’ll refuse to take that ridiculous cruise with you.”
Jerry’s eyes widened with shock. “Ridiculous cruise?”
“It was never my idea to sail through the Panama Canal. I wanted to go to Hong Kong, remember?”
He cringed as though the very idea were repugnant to him. They glared at each other, each waiting for the other to capitulate. Slowly Jerry hung up the phone. “Maybe I should take that cruise by myself, then,” he muttered.
She stiffened. “Maybe you should.”
His gaze narrowed as he filled his coffee cup and stalked out of the kitchen. At first Sharon was tempted to call after him, explain how much it meant for her to visit the grandchildren; but she said nothing. Jerry didn’t want to hear it. Didn’t understand. Or care to.
She sagged onto a kitchen chair. It was difficult to know when their relationship had gone wrong. She loved her husband, but she couldn’t imagine spending the rest of her life with him. Not with things the way they currently were. She couldn’t believe this was happening. It would take a miracle to heal her marriage.