Murder at Breakfast (13 page)

“So,
Lou, has anything anyone told us turned on any lights in your head?”

“No,
Cy, I guess I forgot to pay my electric bill.”

“Well,
let’s see what we can think of. We found no fingerprints on any bloody knife,
and nothing anyone said seemed to conflict with what anyone else told us.”

“And
at least one of those is good, Cy. Mrs. Higgins was poisoned, so a bloody knife
would mean a second murder to solve, and we’re having enough trouble trying to
solve this first one.”

“You’re
supposed to be solving while I’m asking the questions.”

“Oh,
didn’t you hear, Cy? I’m almost totally deaf. And when that gardener put his
hand up in front of his face, I couldn’t hear a thing he said.”

“Have
you been moonlighting at the comedy club again, Lou?”

“Only
on weekends. I sold out Saturday night. Let me know if you want me to leave you
tickets at the box office some Friday or Saturday night.”

“I’m
afraid after putting up with you all day that Saturday night too would be a
little more than I can handle.”

“I
understand how you feel, Cy. I’d be miserable too if I found out someone I
outranked is funnier than I am.”

It
didn’t look like Lou was going to give me any evidence we might use. On that
note, I put my finger up to my lips, closed my eyes, and tried to make sense of
what new information we had learned. The next thing I remember, Lou was shaking
me awake.

“Well,
Cy, did you solve the murder while you were asleep?”

“No,
Lou, how about you?”

“No,
every time I was about to figure it out a snore drowned out my thoughts.”

“I
thought you were deaf.”

“No,
almost deaf. Remember? Besides, I think even those who are totally deaf could
have heard these snores. They shook the place.”

“But
they didn’t shake out a murderer?”

“No,
but I figured out that whoever poisoned her did it sometime around breakfast.”

      I
stuck my tongue out at my wasting away friend. It was time for me to see if
anyone was going to poison me some time around supper.

Lou
and I bid goodnight to Parkway Arms, knowing that we would return the next day,
hoping that the next day would be our last day to include the apartment
building in our itinerary. I had come to love making my time my own and sitting
down with a new mystery or a TV comedy DVD whenever I wanted. We had barely
made it to Lightning when the skies grew dark and a thunderstorm came up out of
nowhere. I knew that Lightning doesn’t like to swim, so we sat there for a few
minutes, waiting to see if the storm would pass. I hoped the comfy confines of
Lightning would enhance our discerning powers. I gave Lou a chance to redeem
himself.

“Okay,
Lou, let’s talk about the case a little bit while we wait on the rain to pass
us by. Here’s what I think. See if you agree. Mrs. Higgins was the first one
down to breakfast. I doubt if she encountered any of the other residents on the
way down to eat, and the only two people she saw before breakfast were the cook
and the manager. I doubt if either of them slipped her anything before she ate
breakfast, although I wouldn’t rule out either one of them while she ate. The
best chance anyone had of poisoning her at breakfast was either when the first lady
came down and Mrs. Higgins got up to get more food or orange juice or when the
cook took the sick guy’s food to the dumbwaiter. In that case, depending on who
was where at that time, any of the other residents could have done it. The
other possibilities were after she left the dining room. The  woman  who’s 
supposed  to be her friend called for her to wait for her. Maybe she slipped
her something on the elevator, said something like, ‘This is good. Try a bite
and see what you think.’ Or, provided Mrs. Higgins didn’t wait for her, or
didn’t hear her call out, her friend could have knocked on her door after
grabbing the elevator when it came back down, or any of the other residents
could have done the same as they returned to their apartments.”

“Except
that they seem to be accounted for. Except for the fact that I don’t think
anyone would have been dumb enough to poison her at the table, not unless there
were only two people at the table and Mrs. Higgins got up to get something.”

“Yeah,
I can picture this now. Mrs. Higgins comes back to the table and asks, ‘What’s
all this white stuff on my bacon?’ and the murderer says, ‘That’s salt. That’s
what they use to cure the bacon. Don’t you know that if you let your bacon set
too long white grains appear? Don’t worry about it! It’s good for you.’”

“Or
maybe she comes back from breakfast and runs into the handyman or the maid
coming out of her apartment and whichever one of them it is says to her, ‘I put
some after-breakfast mints on your pillow. They’ll help soothe your stomach.’”

I
was beginning to think the rain had flooded our brains. We had become so
involved in thinking about the case that we didn’t realize that the brief
shower had passed. It was time for supper. I knew it was. My stomach had
already growled several times. Lou’s had too, but he was in denial.

+++

The
Blue Moon Diner used to be open at night for dinner, but that was before Thelma
left to take care of a sick friend. Thelma had returned to Hilldale, but the
weeks she had spent taking care of her friend made her yearn for time of her
own. After giving it much thought, she decided not to return to work. When 
she  didn’t  return,  the  Blue Moon continued to shut its doors at 4:00. Neither Lou nor I want to cook anything if we can help it, so we had to change our
routine when the Blue Moon started closing early. Unlike the past, when we ate
all of our meals at the Blue Moon, we started rotating restaurants each night.
Both of us had been too busy to think about supper, but the time had come to
put the case away for the day. Lou knew that I was now more dependent upon food
than he was, so he let me pick where we ate.       A few minutes later I slid
into a booth at Antonio’s. Unlike the Blue Moon, Antonio’s doesn’t have a
counter. You might say it is a higher class joint that serves delicious Italian
food. Even though Antonio’s was one of those elegant places that serves food I
wouldn’t recognize and wine in fancy glasses, I ordered good old-fashioned
spaghetti and meatballs. I was surprised when Lou ordered the same, but only
briefly. He decided on spaghetti with marinara sauce, but just a half-portion,
and a side salad with Italian dressing. I tried not to gag when Lou ordered.
What good is spaghetti without meatballs? I had no idea. And what real man would
order a salad? Even if he did, he wouldn’t order it with a dressing you could
see through. When our order came, it didn’t surprise me that Lou turned to me
and said, “Cy, you can have all the bread.”

I
refrained from looking at Lou while I ate. He sat and smiled all the way
through supper. I was glad that there was no one else seated nearby. They might
have gotten the wrong idea about us. By the time I used up the last of the
bread to scoop up the last of the spaghetti sauce and looked up, Lou too was through
with his meager child’s portion. Lou’s new habits were interfering with my
appetite, but not so much that I couldn’t eat the two desserts I normally have
with dinner. I looked up once and Lou was still smiling. I started to kick him
in the shins to wipe the smile off his face, but remembered our friendship and
kept myself from doing so. It could have been the friendship, but then it might
have been that I knew that God would punish me if I did so. Maybe not then, not
in the restaurant, but somewhere  shortly  after  we  left.  No,  my  only hope
was to find a specialist who was willing to treat Lou. I doubted if Hilldale
had a renowned brain specialist, and I wasn’t sure how I could lure Lou to a
large city and ask him to take clean underwear because he would be having
surgery while he was gone. What was I thinking about? Lou was my friend. I
would be willing to splurge for new clean underwear for him, if it meant the
doctor could make him well. But what if I couldn’t lure Lou out of town? What
would I do?

I
thought of an idea, but I wasn’t sure about it. I remembered one time I was
driving through town and spotted a sign that said, “Fortune Teller and
Hypnotist.” That sounded acceptable. If you don’t like how they tell you that
your life will turn out, they can make you like your life as it is.

Lou
interrupted my thoughts. I felt him shaking my arm. I pulled the fork from my
mouth and laid it on the empty plate in front of me.

“Cy,
who’s Madame Zelda?”

“Who?”

“Madame
Zelda. You were talking to her.”

+++

I
got Lou out of Antonio’s as quickly as I could. He was becoming an
embarrassment to me, and if I didn’t watch myself, I would end up talking to
the department’s shrink. I watched how easily Lou got into Lightning and
fastened his seatbelt. He no longer had to tug at it to get it to go around
him. Maybe I could wrap it around his arms too and be able to shovel in a
sufficient amount of food before Lou could get the belt unfastened. I needed to
get home and find the episode of
I Love Lucy
where the candy was coming
down that conveyor belt so fast that she had to cram the candy into her mouth.

I
dropped Lou at his place, then rushed home. For once, luck was with me and my
next-door neighbor wasn't. I didn’t want to press my luck, so I hurried inside,
locked the door. I hustled to the computer, clicked on Favorites, and clicked
again on Google. I typed in Overcoming Weight Loss. In no time at all, I
learned what I suspected. While most people think that food, exercise, and
lifestyle are what causes people to lose weight, I found out that the brain is
what is really responsible. In other words, the Pod People didn’t take over any
part of Lou’s body except his brain. I realized that getting Lou a brain
transplant would be risky, so we would have to do something to the one he had.
I thought about typing in Pod People Antidote, but I wasn’t sure how secure my
computer was. In case the Pod People weren’t yet sure that I was on to them, I
didn’t want to alert them to that fact. I also refrained from typing the words
Getting Rid of Someone Else’s Wii. Those people are smart. They have already
lowered the percentage of couch potatoes in the world. True, some of them are
still couch potatoes. They are merely bowling while seated, but if they are
still in good enough condition to rise to their feet, who knows what they might
try next. Some might step up on a Wii Fit board. I was getting nowhere. It was
time to turn from the computer to something more positive.  

The
night was still young. Well, not as young as it would have been at that time of
day when I was younger, but young enough that I plucked a mystery from my new
bookshelves and sat down to read. By the fourth page, I no longer thought of
Lou or the murder I was trying to solve. I didn’t even think of my next-door neighbor.
Life was good, if only for a short time.

I
awoke Tuesday morning, thankful that I was on top of my bed instead of under
it. I lay there a few minutes figuring out what we would do that day. It wasn’t
what I wanted to do that day. There was a murder to be solved. There was no
time for sleeping late, reading, a lingering trip to Scene of the Crime, or
finding someone to abduct my next-door neighbor and abscond with her to some
remote island where he could dump her in some cannibal’s pot. Instead, we
needed to continue to question the people of Parkway Arms until we found a clue
or a slippage of the tongue that would allow us to conclude the case.

I
lifted myself from my bed in record time, two minutes and forty-three seconds.
I needed to get out of bed, but I didn’t want to pull a muscle, and I wanted to
wipe the sleep from my eyes so that no one could shove a Wii Fit board out from
under the bed and under my feet. I was successful, and this time success took
two minutes and forty-three seconds. On a less stressful day, I might be able
to reduce that time by two or three seconds.

I
stumbled to the bathroom, looked in the mirror. I have no idea why I, or anyone
else, would do something like that the first thing in the morning. Other than
that, my only mistake was wiping the sleep from my eyes before I looked. I was
already awake enough to realize that I wasn’t about to encounter the fairest of
them all. Not in my mirror. In less time than it takes to  wash an unruly
sheepdog I had emerged from the bathroom, not a new man, but one that had done
all he could to see that he was next to Godliness.

I
stepped into my unmentionables and plopped down to spend a few minutes with God
by reading my daily devotionals and spending a short time in prayer. I don’t
spend as much time with God in the morning as Lou does, or at least as much as
Lou did before he became such a frail individual. And since it requires no
physical activity to spend time with God, I assume Lou still takes time to do a
daily lesson, Bible reading, and spend time in prayer. Maybe that’s the reason
Lou is smart enough never to wish ill on his next-door neighbor, or anyone
else.

I
had given Sam a large number of people to check up on the day before, so I
decided to give him another day before I called to see what information he had
for me.

I
was ready to see what the day held for me, so I called Lou to tell him I was on
my way. He had just emerged from the shower. Was this evidence that his frail
body was slowing down? He apologized that he had to Wii a few extra minutes,
which caused him to be later than usual, but he would be ready when I arrived.

I
opened the back door and almost stepped on a little white sack. I bent down to
open the sack and had barely discovered that the sack contained two chocolate
éclairs when claws came from nowhere and wrapped themselves around my wrists.
Soon, an ugly face emerged, and then a body to match. I tried to push Heloise
Humphert away, but she held on and we tumbled head over heels. When we finally
came to a stop in my backyard, I was sitting on top of her and she was
groaning. I was never more thankful for my circumference, but wished I had
eaten the éclairs before we tumbled.

She
was still a little groggy from where her head hit the ground, so I took advantage
of the situation, jumped up as quickly as I could without someone else’s
assistance, and rushed  back  into  the  house  and  shut  the  door.  I called
Lou again to tell him I would be a little late, then headed off to wash up and
change clothes. I was quick enough that I managed to emerge from the back door
and rush to Lightning before the wicked witch got up from the ground. As I
backed Lightning from my driveway, I made a mental note to install security
mirrors near my front and back door.

+++

Lou
was sitting on his front porch when I drove up. He popped up more quickly than
I had ever seen him do. Maybe he was sneaking some food when he wasn’t around
me. Maybe there was hope for my friend. He rushed to the car more quickly than
usual, opened the door, and got in. The quizzical look on his face told me that
he wanted to know what delayed me. I told him, knowing that he would laugh all
the way to the Blue Moon.

It
wasn’t until we pulled up outside the diner that I realized Lou had not given me
the clue of the day.

“An
oath.”

“That’s
it? That’s today’s clue?”

“It’s
the thought I had.”

“Then
it must be God’s clue for us today. Do you mean an oath as in using profanity,
or an oath as in something you do before you give testimony?”

Lou
gave me the look he had given me so many times before, the “I only speak in
tongues, I don’t interpret them” look.

“I
wonder if it means that this case will end up going to court. Most of the time,
we get a confession out of someone. I don’t want to have to testify in court.”

I
spoke the truth. I didn’t want to have to testify under oath. What if they
asked me questions to determine my character? I might end up telling them that
one of my desires is to bop my next-door neighbor over the head with Lou’s Wii
Fit board.

I’d
delayed breakfast long enough. It was time for us to eat, even if it meant only
one of us would eat.

+++

I
walked into the restaurant as romantically as I knew how, thankful that the
early crowd had already left. I grabbed hold of the counter and pulled myself
up onto my stool. I refrained from looking to see if you-know-who did it more
easily.

I
looked around, didn’t see Rosie anywhere, but momentarily, the kitchen door
swung open and there she was. She looked at me, and I raised and lowered my
eyebrows, trying to maintain my sexy pose. And then I opened my mouth.

“Hi
ya, darling. How’d ya like a kiss?”

Rosie
turned to Lou and said, “I told you never to let him stop on the way over
here.” Then she turned to me and said, “You got anything left in that bottle?”

“What
bottle? I said, ‘would ya like a kiss?’” I reached into my pocket and pulled
out one of the tasty morsels that Rosie had given me the day before, and handed
it to her.

“That’s
not a kiss. That’s a hug.”

“Well,
here. Have one of these. Is this one a kiss?”

Rosie
whipped around the counter, spun my stool around, plopped up on my lap without
dumping both of us in the floor, wrapped her arms around me, and gave me a big
smacker on the lips. Then, just as quickly, she rushed back around to the other
side of the counter, and said, “Just wanted to let you know what you’ve been
missing all these years. Now, may I take your order, please?”

I
sat there dumbfounded.

Lou
spoke up and said, “Give him a couple of minutes.”

Rosie
retreated to the kitchen. I started sniffing my armpits.

“What
are you doing?” Lou asked.

“She’s
the second woman who’s attacked me today. I just wanted to make sure I’m not
using different deodorant.”

“No,
you smell. Just like usual.”

“Watch
your mouth, or I’ll give you the one I don’t want.”

“You
mean you want one of them?”

“No,
I mean I don’t know what I mean. I’m not used to being attacked twice so early
in the morning.”

“Or
by Christmas. Cy, maybe if you order, you’ll be back to normal.”

The
thought of delicious delights removed from my mind whatever was there before.
Rosie came back out, and I ordered bacon, sausage, four scrambled eggs with
milk and cheese, biscuits with sausage gravy, and pancakes with maple syrup.

“And
for you?” Rosie asked, as she turned to Lou.

“You
mean after all that you still have something left?”

“Yeah,
you ordered the same way before you got sick.”

Rosie
turned to me and smiled. I gave her a high five. It stung my hand. Wow! This
woman could kiss and run interference. Why didn’t she have a man?

Two
hours later I emerged from the Blue Moon a nourished man. Lou emerged, too. I’m
not sure what he ordered, but I think he enjoyed both bites.

+++

A
few minutes later we arrived at Parkway Arms. I sent Lou in first, not because
he had more bounce to his step, but just in case Hazel Allnut might be hiding
just inside ready to pounce on the first man through the door.

We
took the elevator to the second floor, wanting to check out Mrs. Higgins’
apartment to make sure everything was just as we left it. It was. So, after
telling Lou what I had in mind, I sent him off to locate the linebacker. She
was on her way to clean one of the other second floor apartments when he
diverted her to Mrs. Higgins’ apartment.

Lou
opened the door, motioned for Margie Washburn to step in first.

“Please
have a seat, Mrs. Washburn.”

“Why
do you keep bothering us with questions?”

“Mrs.
Washburn, we will keep working on this case until we solve it. Now, can you
tell me anything that will help us solve it sooner?”

“No,
Goodbye.”

“Not
so quick, Mrs. Washburn. I still have questions.”

“But
I don’t know anything about the murder.”

“I’m
not saying that you do, but you still might be able to tell us something that
will help us solve it.”

“I
don’t see how. I didn’t see Mrs. Higgins on Friday.”

“What
about breakfast, Mrs. Washburn. Did you see her then?”

“Didn’t
I already tell you I didn’t see her on Friday? The last time I saw her was on
Thursday.”

“What
about any of the other residents? Did you see any of them on Friday morning?”

“No,
they were all gone before I came down for breakfast. I only saw those who work
here.”

“And
were all five of you at breakfast?”

“Yes.”

“Was
anyone late?”

“We
don’t have a set time to be there. We can come to breakfast as early as 8:15. But we can come later, just so long as we’re ready to start working at 9:00.”

“Did
anyone seem different to you on Friday, at breakfast, or at lunch?”

“I
didn’t pay no attention, so I guess everyone was about as usual.”

“Okay,
let’s go on to the work you did on Friday. Tell me about it.”

“What’s
to tell? We shampooed the hall carpet. I already told you that.”

“Did
you see anyone when you were vacuuming or shampooing?”

“By
anybody, does that include those who work here?”

“It
does.”

“Well,
before I started, Wally helped me move the furniture, then he went up to help
Ginny move things on the third floor. And that afternoon he helped us move
things back. And then Ginny was shampooing the top part of the back steps as I
was doing the lower part of the front. See, she has a little more to do than I
do, because there’s a floor above where the back steps are, but we were doing
the steps at the same time.”

“Mrs.
Washburn, as I understand it, other than Mrs. Higgins, you are one of three
people who have a key to her apartment; you, Mrs. Draper, and Mr. Gentry. Did
you by any chance go into her apartment Friday morning, or see anyone else go
in there?”

“Do
you remember the part where I said I didn’t see Mrs. Higgins? No, I didn’t see
nobody go into her apartment.”

“And
what time were you around her apartment door?”

“I
started working on the second floor around 9:00, and it was a little before 1:00 when I finished.”

“But
you weren’t around her door all that time. At what times were you in the hall
near this apartment?”

“I
can’t say for sure, but I’d guess around a little after 10:00 and a little after noon.”

“Is
it possible that someone could’ve knocked on Mrs. Higgins door or used a key to
get in without your seeing them?”

“Well,
of course someone could’ve come to this apartment before 9:00, and later, too. Probably the only time I would’ve seen anyone was around 10:00 o’clock, and anywhere from 11:45 to 12:30 or so. Of course, those are just guesses.”

“Okay,
let’s change courses a little. What did you do that morning from the time you
got up until you started to work?”

“Well,
I was in my apartment the whole time until I came to breakfast, ate breakfast
with everyone, then went back to my apartment. I came out about a couple of
minutes to nine.”

“So
you saw no one except at the breakfast table? What about from the time you
finished shampooing until you ate lunch?”

“I
put away my equipment in the basement storage area, then went to my room for a
few minutes. I didn’t see no one then, either. Not until I came out.”

“One
other question, and then we’ll be through. Would it have been possible for
Ginny Adams to have stopped off on the second floor and gone into Mrs. Higgins
apartment without your seeing her, while she was shampooing?”