Murder Between the Worlds: A Between the Worlds Novel (12 page)

She rested her chin on the window sill, watching as the tiny gnome that lived at the edge of their garden trundled across the dry grass towards the huge oak he lived in. It was odd to think that humans couldn’t see him in his bright red and white clothes when he was so clear to her eyes. The door creaked open slowly behind her and she listened as someone walked part way into the room and stopped. She waited, but whoever it was stood there without speaking. Finally she gave in to her own curiosity and turned slightly until she could see Bleidd’s reflection in the glass. She knew what it must have cost him to come up here and she wanted to say something funny or clever to break the tension; instead she said, “Hey.”

He was silent for a long time and they stayed like that, staring at each other in the glass, until she couldn’t stand it any longer “I don’t want you to be angry with me Bleidd. We’ve been friends for too long to stop speaking now because of a misunderstanding.”

“Angry with
you
?” his voice was mystified. “Allie, I swear, sometimes you are impossible. I came here expecting you to yell at
me
, throw things, tell me what a false friend I was, and you’re worried about my feelings?”

“You’re talking nonsense. I don’t throw things,” the image of the ice packing hitting Syndra’s chest flitted through her mind but Allie pushed it away. “And you had every right to be angry with me for not being honest with you.”

“You have never lied to me”

“A lie by omission is still a lie,” she said softly. Another uncomfortable silence fell. Allie looked back out the window, feeling listless.

“Syndra found me last night–well early this morning actually–and she told me you had been hurt,” he said, his voice tight. “I was quite drunk, as usual. Too drunk to be of any use to anyone. As usual. I woke this morning and find the Guard here, staying here. And I was angry at first. I thought it was all part of a larger plan to have an excuse to spy on me.”

He stopped for a moment, looking down. “I have been–hiding in my room like a sulking child and I finally realized something important. I am being very self-centered Allie. I am looking at all of this as if it was about me, but it isn’t. It never has been about me, except in a peripheral way, and I shouldn’t have waited so long to come up here and speak to you. I should have come up right away, and the Guard be damned, but I was afraid you would tell me to leave. I rather think I deserve for you to tell me that actually. I said many things the other day out of anger that I should not have said, and I realized that I have gotten too accustomed to being able to–assume your good nature will allow for my bad behavior.”

She sighed, “I don’t know what you want me to say to that.”

“You needn’t say anything. I just wanted you to know that I realized I was wrong, that I badly over-reacted to… everything. You have always been a good friend to me, even when I least deserved it.” He sounded as tired as she felt but she had a hard time trusting this sudden turn. Bleidd was a lot of things, and she truly believed he was a good person, but deep personal introspection wasn’t his forte.

“You should know,” she hesitated slightly, and then decided it was better to get it over with quickly “that I’m seeing Jessilaen.”

The silence stretched out to a point where she started to brace herself for something spectacular. But when he finally spoke he sounded calm. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because you warned me not to trust the Guard. That they would try to manipulate me. And I think you have a right to know that whether it’s wise or foolish, he wants to be with me and I said yes.” She fought to keep her voice even as she spoke. Bleidd had been her friend for more than a decade, there had even been a time early on when she had a crush on him, but he had never reciprocated in anyway and they had eventually fallen into a solid friendship. She didn’t want to see it ruined now.

“You are right that I don’t think you should trust them,” he said slowly. “But he would be a fool not to see the value in you.”

She felt her head starting to ache again, “What does that mean?”

“Allie…”

“No, for once just speak plainly. I’m tired of trying to decode everything today. Don’t trust them, but understand that they have a good reason to want to use me? Is that it?” She could feel herself getting angry and stopped, taking a deep breath.

“No, Allie, of course not. I mean that I understand why he would be so quick to reach out to you, personally. You are very special…”

“Don’t,” she held up her hand resting her head against the glass. “Just don’t. I’m so completely not in the mood to be fed a line about being the nicest wallflower at the dance after you made it clear no one would bother.” She trailed off feeling the tears she’d fought off all day coming back and threatening to overwhelm her again. She hadn’t meant to bring up his words from the other day after he’d made the effort to reconcile but they hung in the air between them now.

“I’m sorry I said that. It was petty and mean.” He sounded like he meant it and Allie was truly shocked because Bleidd never apologized. Never flat out anyway; his apologies were always round about and hinted at rather than spoken plainly, something she knew well having received many of them over the years after drunken fits. She turned and looked at him, forgetting that he hadn’t seen her since she’d been hurt.

“Oh Allie,” he breathed, truly dismayed. He crossed the room in a few quick steps kneeling down next to her and taking her face gently in his hands. She swallowed hard and tried not to look at the raw emotion on his face, something she didn’t usually see unless he was drunk.

“It’s okay, its already healed a lot compared to yesterday,” she said, trying to sound casual.

He traced his fingers over the fading bruises on her nose and cheek and then down to her throat his eyes darkening. “Whoever did this to you, I will find them, and I will kill them.”

“No,” she said forcefully, grabbing his hand, “No. Promise me you won’t even try, Bleidd. I mean it. They will kill you and I will never forgive myself.”

He shook his head, that dark, dangerous look still in his eye, “You underestimate me.”

“No I don’t but…”she hesitated, unsure how much to tell him. Only when she was sure he was almost certain to go out tonight and get into trouble trying to avenge her did she finish. “…they were elves, Dark Court elves. They would kill you.”

He looked at her sharply, but that wildness was gone from his eyes as suddenly as it had appeared. “What happened?”

“Promise me you won’t look for revenge for me, Bleidd.”

He hesitated but finally, reluctantly, agreed “I swear by the endless sea, the firm earth, and the sky covering all that I will not intentionally seek to avenge your injuries. Now tell me what happened.”

“They came in to the store looking for a book. Said I knew what they wanted but I have no idea what book it could be,” she shook her head swallowing hard. She could feel the tears threatening again and realized she didn’t want to talk about it or think about it anymore. She sniffled, struggling not to cry.

He lifted her chin gently, “It’s okay Allie.”

“No, “she said feeling the tears spilling over. “It’s not. It’s not okay. If I had the damn book I’d have given it to them, but I didn’t know what they were talking about, and they kept saying I did.”

He stood up, pulling her with him into a loose hug and she wept against his t-shirt. “And that was why they hit you? To get you to tell them where this book they sought was?”

She sobbed harder and shook her head. “No, that was my fault.”

“Your fault?” he said incredulously.

“He, he said–he tried to use glamour on me,” she swallowed hard, “and when it didn’t work he said no one refuses him, and I told him to go to the
Star
…”

She sobbed harder now and he rubbed her back. Motion in the window’s reflective surface caught his eye and he looked up and saw one of the Elven Guard–he assumed Allie’s new lover–standing motionless in the doorway. Before he could decide how to react her arms had tightened around his torso and she kept talking, “And he hit me, and kissed me and threw me down. I couldn’t breathe, he was choking me, and he tore my jeans. I was so scared.”

“Shhhh. You’re safe now Allie,” He whispered, deciding to ignore the Guard until the other elf forced the issue.

“No, I’m not. You don’t understand –” she looked up, her battered face tear stained, and caught sight of the figure in the doorway. Her arms tightened and then she pulled away, wiping her tears furiously. The newcomer walked slowly over to where they stood and Bleidd braced himself to be ordered out. He wasn’t entirely sure how he’d react to that and he knew that getting into a fist fight with Allie’s new love interest, while personally satisfying, would surely upset her a great deal and she was already far too emotionally fragile. He recognized the other elf from his own interrogation as the second in command, someone he remembered with intense dislike. But the Guard did not give any orders, rather he stepped up to where Allie stood until he was almost shoulder to shoulder with Bleidd and said “You did nothing to deserve any of this.”

She shook her head sharply, “I knew it was stupid to insult him. I knew he’d react badly and I did it anyway. I’m weak. I can’t defend myself.”

“Allie,” Bleidd said feeling exasperated, but somewhat grateful that Jessilaen wasn’t trying to push him out. “No one has a right to force you.”

She broke in, her voice bitter, “There is no rape in the Dark Court.”

“What?” Jessilaen said, and Bleidd found himself sharing the other elf’s confusion.

“In the Dark Court, you either enforce your own will, or you have other people’s will enforced on you,” she said. “That’s why my Mother made me leave. She knew I wasn’t strong enough. And she was right.”

“That is barbaric,” Jessilaen said simply.

Allie shook her head. “It’s the law. The human world works because human society is held together by laws, right? The Bright Court works on structures of rank and societal positioning, and relies on laws to support everything. It’s the same in the Dark Court, except the law there is based on structures of power; those who have power out rank those who have less, and on down the line. In the Bright Court if you’re attracted to someone and make a pass at them and they say no, oh well, you go on to the next, right? In the Dark Court when someone who outranks you tells you they want to screw you, you bend over, period. No arguments or questions.”

Jessilaen shook his head and asked sadly. “What kind of childhood did you have?”

“It doesn’t apply to children, children are protected by their parents,” Allie said dismissively. “But once you are an adult–you either have the strength and political connections to protect yourself or you don’t. As far as that Dark Elf was concerned, as a mixed blood I have no inherent rank and no right to refuse him. And I am too weak to enforce my own will.”

“Allie, you are a very strong person. Just because you aren’t a skilled physical fighter doesn’t mean you are weak.” Bleidd said, wishing that he could embrace her again.

Jessilaen added, “And you can learn martial skills; those are merely a matter of practice and time.”

“I–I need to take a shower” Allie said, pushing past both of them towards the bathroom.

Reflexively the two elves looked at each other, momentarily forgetting their past animosity.

“Does she always retreat to the bathroom when she’s upset?” the Guard quipped, and Bleidd had to stop himself from smiling in response.

“So you believe these Dark Court elves will seek her out again?” he said as neutrally as he could manage.

“They told her as much,” Jessilaen replied grimly. Then, giving Bleidd a measuring look, “How long have you been in love with her?”

Bleidd felt himself stiffening defensively as the other elf continued, “Your feelings for her are obvious.”

“Not to her,” he replied, “but it doesn’t matter. You are just a temporary distraction–you’ll be gone soon enough and everything will be back as it was before.”

“She accepted my court–or didn’t she tell you?” Jessilaen said, pointedly.

Bleidd kept his face blank with an effort, not wanting to betray that he hadn’t already known that. “She doesn’t even know what that means. It may suit you to take advantage of the ignorance of a young girl to your own purpose.”

“She’s an adult” Jessilaen said, although his voice now was less sure

“She’s half Elven; don’t presume it’s so easy to judge her age. Trust me, I made the mistake myself once of assuming a girl who appeared to be an adult actually was one, to my own grief.” He couldn’t keep the bitterness out of his voice when he spoke.

“You are trying to mislead me so that I will withdraw my court and leave the field to you alone,” Jessilaen said with more confidence.

Bleidd shook his head. “You are no competition. What can you offer her, but a world that will always reject her or see her as an oddity?”

Jessilaen recoiled, clearly angry, “I can offer her more than you. What have you? Not even a name of your own or any honor.”

Bleidd shrugged, “I don’t need any name but the one I have here with her. She knows that the value of my honor is in my actions, not in the opinions of people who don’t even know me. You are a fool if you think she cares about such things.”