Murder Is a Piece of Cake (14 page)

Chapter 24

Monday, October 29

“Did I send poor Molly to her doom?”

Denise’s dramatic words belonged in a melodrama. But the shop owner’s nightmare question
fit with the Victorian velvet and frills of Denise’s Dreams.

“It’s not your fault,” Josie said. “You had no idea she was a killer. We’ll call the
police now.”

“No! We can’t!” Denise said. “You’ll kill my little store.” She was wringing her hands
like a maiden pleading with a mustache-twirling villain.

“Rita has to be arrested,” Josie said.

“I know she does,” Denise said. “But I’ve already had the murder victim working at
my store. If customers find out the killer worked here, too, no bride will buy anything
from me. My store can’t be connected with a killer. I sell happy ever-afters.”

Right, Josie thought. Molly is dead forever, and you’re worried about your bottom
line. The veils on satin stands looked like accusing ghosts. Dainty ruffles and sugar-sweet
flowers covered Denise’s steely selfishness.

“At least wait till tomorrow,” Denise said. “Rita comes in at noon. I’ll fire her
the moment she walks in this store. Then when she’s arrested and the story hits the
media again, I can say she doesn’t work here.”

“You’ll be alone when Rita comes in,” Josie said. “She’s already killed once. What
if she tries to shoot you?”

“I’ll shoot her right in the eye,” Denise said.

Josie shifted away from those hard, angry eyes.

“Look.” The shop owner modestly brushed back her skirt to show a sheer stocking and
a pink lace garter with a lipstick-sized gold tube. “Pepper spray,” she said.

Josie’s eyebrows nearly jumped into her hairline.

“You’re right. I’m here alone sometimes,” Denise said. “If I’m attacked, no one will
hear me scream. I got this to defend myself. It’s nice of you to worry, but I’ll be
safe. Please wait till after twelve before you go to the police.”

“On one condition,” Josie said. “Only if you fire Rita the minute she comes in here.
I can’t wait any longer than noon. An innocent woman is in jail.”

“I promise,” Denise said. “As a reward for helping me, you can have a five-hundred-dollar
credit on any item in this store.”

“Uh, thanks.” Josie didn’t want anything from the shop. She didn’t like Denise or
her dreams.

But she left filled with hope, floating down the path through the picket fence, happily
humming “The Wedding March.” Josie would march down the aisle to a different tune,
but she’d get married the day after Thanksgiving.

She wanted to call Ted with the good news. But she couldn’t touch that
SPEED DIAL
button. Too much could still go wrong. She didn’t want to raise his hopes—or Lenore’s.
She’d tell Ted the moment the cops took Rita into custody.

That small hesitation didn’t stop her joy. She felt a river of happiness coursing
through her veins. Josie Marcus, anonymous mystery shopper, had solved the stalker
bride’s murder and tied it up neatly with a big white bow.

It seemed so obvious now.

Rita, deeply in debt after her aborted wedding, started stealing from the store where
she worked and selling the items on eBay. The thefts escalated from small, untraceable
jewelry to unique designs. The store was in trouble and Denise had offered a reward
to her staff to find the shoplifter.

Molly discovered her best friend was the thief destroying Denise’s Dreams. She wanted
to tell Denise she’d found the thief, but not when Rita was working. Denise insisted
and Rita overheard the conversation. Rita must have suspected that Molly was on to
her before that day. Rita had been at the Blue Rose when Ted’s mom flashed her gun.
It would be easy for an accomplished thief to pocket Lenore’s pistol.

Rita hadn’t boosted a few items at the shop. She’d boldly helped herself to jewelry
worth thousands of dollars. She’d committed felonies. The amount she stole was easily
documented through her online sales. Rita was looking at serious jail time. Molly
had to be silenced before the store opened the next morning.

Rita had no trouble finding Molly. The stalker bride was still obsessed with Ted.
Rita followed her to the clinic parking lot and shot her. Then she framed Lenore.

At least Molly’s killer will be brought to justice, Josie thought, as she drove home.
She had a bright future again. Josie reveled in the pink glow of the sunset and her
rose-tinted dreams. She parked her Honda in front of her home, careful that the back
bumper was within her mom’s property line.

Even that precaution didn’t help. Mrs. M shot out of her front door like she’d been
launched.

“Josie Marcus!” she screamed. “Your daughter is setting off bottle rockets in your
backyard.”

“She can’t be,” Josie said. “Where would Amelia get fireworks?”

“I don’t know, but she did,” Mrs. M said with an unpleasant smirk. “See for yourself.
Before the police arrive.”

“The police?” Josie said. “You called the police on my daughter?”

“Bottle rockets are illegal in St. Louis County,” Mrs. M said. She barged right down
Jane’s walkway and through the back gate, wearing a flowered top bigger than a botanical
garden. A bewildered Josie followed, wondering why so many scary women wore flowers.

Mrs. M pointed to the bottle rockets, her bulky body quivering with indignation. “There,”
she said. “Right there! That girl is a delinquent, just like her mother!”

A geyser of brown liquid as tall as the two-story house shot out of a two-liter Diet
Coke bottle. A second geyser erupted after it. Then a third.

“Amelia Marcus, stop that immediately,” Mrs. Mueller commanded.

Amelia ignored her. She was clicking at the soda gushers with Josie’s digital camera.

Josie had never seen bottle geysers before, but she recognized the scream of a siren.
It was followed by running feet on the walkway. Officer Doris Ann Norris burst into
the Marcus backyard, and Josie felt weak with relief. She knew the smart, street-savvy
Maplewood police officer.

“Is there a problem?” Officer Norris asked. “The dispatcher received a complaint that
someone was setting off fireworks.”

“No,” Josie said.

“Yes,” Mrs. M said. “That young troublemaker is setting off bottle rockets.”

“She is?” Officer Norris strolled over to the foaming Diet Coke bottles. “Looks awfully
wet for fireworks,” she said.

She stuck her finger into a brown puddle and tasted it. “You used Diet Coke, Miss
Marcus,” she said. “You are Amelia Marcus, aren’t you?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Amelia said.

Josie was relieved her daughter remembered her manners. Amelia’s voice shook with
fear, and the blood had drained from her face, but she stood straight and tall.

“I knew your daughter was trouble, Josie Marcus,” Mrs. M said. “She’s known to the
police.”

Office Norris turned to Mrs. Mueller. “I do know this young woman. I helped Amelia
and her mother when they had a vandalism problem some time ago. I barely recognized
Amelia because she’s so grown-up now.”

A smile flitted across Amelia’s chalk white face.

“Some people improve with age,” Officer Norris said. Her barb bounced off Mrs. M’s
gray helmet head.

“Using Diet Coke is very thoughtful,” she told Amelia. “Regular soda leaves a sticky
mess.”

“That’s what I heard,” Amelia said. “I can just hose this away.”

“How many Mentos did you use in your bottles?” Officer Norris asked.

“A whole roll of mints in each one. It’s a science experiment.”

“You load them with a tube or a roll of paper?” Officer Norris asked.

“Paper tube,” Amelia said, sounding more confident. Her color was starting to return.

“An old-school scientist,” Officer Norris said, nodding her approval. “You used the
more difficult method.”

“I got three bottles to erupt one after the other,” Amelia said. “It was awesome!
I was shooting them when I heard screaming and Mrs. Mueller yelled at me to stop,
but you can’t stop the experiment once it starts.”

“You’re not arresting her?” Mrs. M looked like she might explode with disappointment.

“Miss Marcus didn’t do anything wrong. It’s not illegal to test the fizz factor of
Diet Coke,” Officer Norris said. “Dropping chewy mints into soda to release the carbonation
is a legitimate scientific experiment. Steve Spangler blogged about it on his science
Web site. Usually the geyser goes about twenty feet in the air. Miss Marcus was smart
to conduct her experiment outside, away from the house.”

“Well, I never,” Mrs. M said, deflating like a week-old balloon. Not only was Amelia
escaping punishment, but the police officer praised her. Josie smiled.

“Your generation used vinegar and baking soda,” Officer Norris said.

“We did nothing of the kind,” Mrs. M said.

“Sure you did,” Officer Norris said. “My pop talked about it. He and his friends used
glass bottles. Much more dangerous than plastic.”

“Your job is to protect and serve citizens,” Mrs. M said. “Not encourage hooligans.”

“You are so right, ma’am,” Officer Norris said. “And we can’t do that when people
waste our time. You’re a church lady, aren’t you? Active at St. Philomena’s?”

“I am president of the Ladies’ Sodality,” Mrs. M said, “past president of the altar
decoration committee, first vice president of the music committee, and head of the
2013 Harvest Festival.”

“Impressive,” Officer Norris said. “You must spend a lot of time at church.”

“At least an hour every day, not including Mass and novenas,” Mrs. M said.

“You’ve had plenty of exposure to the Gospels then. Might want to reread that part
about loving your neighbor as yourself.”

“I’m going home,” Mrs. M said, and stomped off.

“Am I in trouble?” Amelia asked.

“Not with me,” Officer Norris said. “What your mother decides is out of my jurisdiction.”

Chapter 25

Tuesday, October 30

Jane held a martini glass the size of a punch bowl.

“I bought this for you,” she said. She shoved the glass at Josie and walked into her
kitchen with her sidekick, Stuart Little.

The monster martini glass felt surprisingly light. “Thanks, Mom, but I don’t need
a drink at nine in the morning.”

“It’s not for you,” Jane said. “It’s for your wedding. It will look cute on the candy
bar we’re having for the children at the reception. It’s acrylic, so if they knock
it over, it can’t hurt anyone. I could use a cup of coffee.”

Jane poured herself a cup and sat down at the kitchen table. Stuart Little sat at
her feet. “Woof!” he said.

“Uh, good morning,” Josie said.

She filled a bowl of water for the shih tzu and he wagged his tail. His pal Harry
gave him a friendly swat; then both pets slurped their water.

While her guests had their drinks, Josie examined Jane’s gift. “I like it,” she said.
“We can put the Hershey’s Kisses in it. I’ve bought all the candy and hid it.”

“From Amelia?” Jane asked.

“From me,” Josie said. “I’d eat it all before the wedding. Your hair looks nice.”

“Aggie did a good job, didn’t she?” Jane said. “I got back from my appointment right
after the police left. I couldn’t believe that old meddler called the police on my
granddaughter. Are you going to punish Amelia? You weren’t sure yesterday.”

“I needed to sleep on it,” Josie said. “I was furious at Mrs. Mueller and didn’t want
to take it out on my daughter. This morning, I told Amelia I didn’t like that she’d
lied to me about doing a school science experiment.

“Amelia said she didn’t lie. She never said it was a
school
science experiment, just a science experiment.”

“She’s right,” Jane said. “That’s exactly what she said when we had our cooking class.
You missed a good round steak, by the way.”

“I’m sure it was,” Josie said. “Amelia could have told me she was going to have soda
geysers erupting in the backyard.”

“It was harmless,” Jane said. “She cleaned up afterward, and even recycled the bottles.
Science is important for young women. I had to take home ec. Now girls are encouraged
to go into the same professions as boys. She could be a research scientist.”

“Not by the way she talked about that science experiment,” Josie said. “Amelia told
me the truth—but only the truth I needed to know. She’s going to be a lawyer.”

“Like her grandfather,” Jane said.

The man who abandoned us, Josie thought. The conversation wilted. The two women sipped
coffee and watched Stuart Little chase Harry around the kitchen. The cat skidded across
the floor and knocked over his water.

“Time-out,” Josie said, stepping over the puddle. She captured Harry, who went limp
as a peaceful protester, and shut him in Amelia’s bathroom. Harry howled. Stuart followed
his pal into exile and sat outside the closed door, whimpering.

Josie mopped up the spilled water, then refilled Harry’s bowl and the two coffee cups.

“Now, where were we?” she asked, sitting down.

“I asked if you were going to punish Amelia,” Jane said.

“No. She didn’t do anything wrong,” Josie said. “But I’m glad we’re moving away from
that old troublemaker.”

“I wish
she’d
move,” Jane said. “It will be strange not having you and Amelia living here with
me.”

“We couldn’t have made it without your help, Mom,” Josie said. “All your free babysitting.
All the times you took Amelia to school or picked her up. You gave me the luxury of
a free on-call nanny.”

“You gave me a beautiful granddaughter,” Jane said. “I’ll still be here for you, anytime
you need me. She can stay with me if you and Ted need some time together.”

Josie squeezed her mother’s hand. “Thanks, Mom. But it’s time we left your comfortable
nest so you can rent this apartment for what it’s really worth. More coffee?”

Josie felt uneasy having such an emotional conversation with her mother. She knew
Jane loved her, but she’d had high expectations for her only child. When Josie dropped
out of school to have Amelia, Jane had been bitterly disappointed—and made sure Josie
knew it.

“No, thanks,” Jane said. She hesitated, then said, “Josie, I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Josie asked.

Jane’s voice cracked. “For being so mean when you were carrying Amelia.” Tears streamed
down Jane’s face. “If you weren’t such a good daughter, I would have driven you away
forever.”

“You had good reasons to be angry at me,” Josie said.

“I thought I had good reasons,” Jane said. “I didn’t want you to be dependent on a
man for your living, the way I was. I didn’t want you to take a job that paid nothing
while you raised your daughter. I didn’t want you to make my mistakes.”

Jane was quietly weeping.

Josie grabbed a handful of tissues and hugged her mother. “Sh. It’s okay,” she said.
“You have nothing to cry about.”

“You handled your life better than I did,” Jane said, sniffling and mopping her eyes.

“Only because I had your help,” Josie said, and kissed her mother on her soft, worn
cheek. She caught Jane’s familiar scent of Estée Lauder perfume and saw the small
bald spot on her crown that her carefully sprayed hair didn’t quite cover.

My mother’s life was hard and I made it harder, Josie thought. She hugged her again.

Jane blew her nose, straightened up, and said, “Well. I’m sorry for that silly scene.
You have enough to worry about.”

“I’m glad you said it, Mom,” Josie said.

“Don’t make me start crying again,” Jane said. She sounded annoyed.

Josie was relieved her mother had returned to her prickly self.

“I’ve saved a little money—about a thousand dollars,” Jane said. “I want you and Ted
to have it for a down payment on a new home. You don’t have any savings and Ted still
has his school loans.”

“Thanks, Mom,” Josie said. “That’s way too generous.” She wanted to lighten the heavy
atmosphere. “Would you like to go along on my last mystery-shopping assignment as
a single woman? I have to taste wedding cakes this morning.”

“I’d love to,” Jane said. “I could use some cake to go with all that coffee. What
time is your appointment?”

“I have to make it now.”

“Isn’t that short notice for a cake tasting?”

“It is,” Josie said. “That’s part of the customer service test for this assignment.”

“I’ll take Stuart Little upstairs while you make your call,” Jane said, “and meet
you at your car.”

The shih tzu and Harry were poking paws under the door in an elaborate interspecies
game. “I hope Harry gets along with Festus as well as he does with your dog,” Josie
said.

“It will all work out, Josie,” Jane said fiercely. “This time, listen to your mother.
Come, Stuart.” She climbed the back stairs, Stuart pattering behind her.

Josie smiled through her tears as she called the store for her mystery-shopping assignment.

“Cakes by Cookie, this is Ellen speaking,” a woman answered. “How may I help you?”

A pleasant voice, Josie thought. She was glad Ellen gave the proper greeting.

“I’m getting married soon,” Josie said. “I need a cake tasting right away.”

“Congratulations,” Ellen said. “When would you like to come in?”

“Today?” Josie sounded hesitant. “I’m sorry.”

“Oh, honey, of course you can come in today,” Ellen said. “But we usually make cake-tasting
appointments at least two weeks in advance. I can show you photos of our wedding cakes
and give samples of similar cakes, but it won’t be an actual wedding cake tasting.
Will that work for you?”

“Absolutely,” Josie said. “My mom will be with me. Could we come this morning?”

“The morning rush is over, so I’ll have some time,” Ellen said. “Our store is across
from the Galleria mall.”

“We’ll be there in ten minutes,” Josie said.

Once again, Josie smelled the sugary aroma of Cakes by Cookie before she saw the store’s
big polka-dot sign. Ellen was a tall, bosomy woman with straight straw-colored hair.

“I’ve fixed a little tasting table for you,” she said, and ushered Josie and Jane
to their seats.

Ellen told them about cake flavors, fillings, icing and decorations, gave Josie and
Jane samples of similar cakes, and showed them wedding cake photos in a fat ring binder.

Josie asked the required questions, and Ellen gave detailed answers. “What if I want
flowers on my cake?” Josie asked. “Real flowers.”

“Those are lovely,” Ellen said, “but your florist will have to provide them. Cut flowers
are often sprayed with pesticides. Are you sure you want that on your food?”

“What else do you suggest besides sugar roses or ribbons?” Josie asked.

“We have some amusing cake toppers,” Ellen said, and turned to the cake toppers section
in the binder. “We have a bride and groom with fairy wings and a princess and her
knight in armor for fairy-tale weddings.”

“Pretty,” Josie said. “But ours is more modern.”

“Here’s a bridal couple both talking on their cell phones,” Ellen said.

“A little too modern,” Josie said.

“How about this one where the bride wears the groom’s pants and he wears boxer shorts
with his tux?”

“Interesting, but no,” Josie said.

“We have this sexy cake topper.” Ellen showed her a bridal couple from the back, grabbing
each other’s bottoms.

Jane looked shocked.

Ellen quickly turned the page. “For those who take ‘till death do us part’ seriously,”
she said, “we have a selection of skeleton brides and grooms. Like this one.” The
grinning bride had a tattered veil on her skull.

“A little grim,” Josie said.

“My daughter is not getting married on Halloween,” Jane said.

“You’ll love our stylish monogrammed initials,” Ellen said. “We have silver, gold,
Swarovski crystal, pearls.”

“Elegant,” Jane said.

They looked at a few more cake toppers, then thanked Ellen and left with brochures,
a sample contract, and a promise to call if they decided to go with her store.

Back in Josie’s car, Jane said, “I do hope you’re going to give that nice Ellen a
good report.”

“The highest rating. She deserves it,” Josie said.

“What now?” Jane said.

“Now I have a wedding errand I need to do alone,” Josie said.

I’m having tea with the innocent woman I branded a killer, she thought.