Murder & Mayhem in Goose Pimple Junction (9 page)

“
Wow. Now that's a view,” she heard someone say.

Startled,
she shot up, whirled around, and saw Jack. “Excuse me?”

“
The flowers . . . they’re beautiful,” Jack said, grinning like a possum in a persimmon tree, and motioning to the flower-laden bush.

“
Oh . . . thanks.” She recovered from the surprise and noticed he was holding a bunch of sunflowers in his hand.

“
Yours are lovely, as well.”

He
held them out to her. “Special delivery.”

“
What’s this for?” A big smile spread across her face.

“
Well, you had quite a scare yesterday. I wanted to give you some cheer.”

“
Oh, thank you, Jack. They look like a bouquet of smiles. That’s very kind of you. Would you like to come in?” She motioned toward the house as she started toward it. “I’m heading over to report for my second day of work, but you can help me put these in water first,” she said, leading him to the kitchen.

“
How ‘bout you put them in water, and I’ll watch. Then I’d be pleased to walk you to work, Ms. Tess.” He and his exaggerated
southern accent followed her into the house. She shook her head at
him and his dialect and got a vase from the cabinet.

He
leaned against the doorjamb, his arms crossed over his chest, watching as she cut the stems under water and put the flowers in the vase.

Feeling
self-conscious, she said the first thing that came to mind. “You know, my ex-husband used to quote, somebody—I can’t remember who. He said he ‘liked children too, but he didn’t go around chopping their heads off and sticking them in vases around his house.’ I, for one, think flowers belong in and outside of the house. Thank you, again, Jack.” 

He
watched her for a moment and finally said, “What a desolate place would be a world without a flower. It would be a face without a smile, a feast without a welcome. Are not flowers the stars of the earth, and are not our stars the flowers of the heavens?’”

“
Wow. I love that. Who said it?”

“
A.J. Balfour. Don’t ask me who he is or how I remember it, I just do,” he laughed,
giving her a smile that rattled her.

She
set the vase down a little too forcefully in the center of her small kitchen table and stood back to admire the flowers, telling herself she was immune to Jack's smile.

“
I love sunflowers. They’re one of my favorite flowers. That was so nice of you. And totally unnecessary.”

“
Are you doing all right this morning?” His expression changed to one of concern.

“
Yes, I’m fine. I slept like a baby.” She made an attempt at a confident smile. “Well . . . “ she said, clearing her throat. “ . . . are you ready?”

As
she locked the front door, he said, “I thought you weren’t goin’ to let Lou work you too hard. Here you are heading off to work again, first thing in the morning, two days in a row.”

“
Lou’s trying to catch up with all the work that’s backed up since her former employee left, so I offered to help out. I don’t mind. Yesterday was fun. I met a lot of people.” They stepped out onto the tree-lined sidewalk and started toward town in an amiable silence.

Finally
Jack spoke. “So, Tess Tremaine, what’s your story?”

“
Mister, my story is longer and stronger than you have time for,” she said lightly, although she was totally serious.

“
Oooooh, a mystery, I like mysteries.”

“
Yes, I know. After all, you
are
a mystery writer. Unfortunately, my story isn’t a mystery, it’s just a mess.” She made a show of looking at the flower garden in the yard they were passing. She was uncomfortable talking about herself.

“
Ah, a woman with baggage.”

“
Baggage out the wazoo, mister.”

“
Wazoo. Define that term please.”

“
Oh, don’t get cute with me. You tell me
your
story.”

“
You tell me yours, I’ll tell you mine,” he said in a Grocho Marx imitation.

“
Uh, I believe the saying is
show. Show
me yours and I’ll
show
you mine.”

“
Okay, we can do that too, if you want.” Their eyes met, and he held them, giving her a challenging smile.

He
was embarrassing her. She couldn't hold his gaze. She gave him a wry smile, shook her head,
and kept walking.

“
All right. I’ll quit teasing you. You’re just so much fun to tease.” His voice got serious and he said quietly, “I worried about you last night. Is there anything I can do for you?”

“
You worried about me? Aw, Jack, it was only a break-in. And I told you—I’m fine. Do you visit all of the home invasion victims in town?”

He
laughed. “The easy answer is no, because we rarely have home invasions in Goose Pimple Junction. The totally honest answer is no, because you’re a special case, Tess Tremaine.”

When
she blushed, he added kiddingly, “You’re new in town. I just want you to feel welcome.”

“
Of course. That’s very nice of you, Jack.” She tried to suppress a wide smile.

“
I noticed some photographs in your house yesterday but never got a chance to ask—you have a son?”

“
Yes, he’s twenty-five.”

“
You're not old enough to have a grown kid.”

“
Unfortunately, I am.”

“
Where does he live?”

“
Alabama. How about you? Kids?”

“
I have a daughter. She's twenty-five.”

“
Isn't that coincidental. Should we introduce them?”

“
Maybe,” Jack said, with the accent on be.

“
And how’s your book comin’ along?”

“
Oh, it’s coming I guess.”

“
And you still have my e-mail address, right?”

“
That I do.”

“
Well, I hope you’ll use it and won’t let it languish in the bottom of that purse.”

When
they reached the bookstore several minutes later, Tess thanked him again for the flowers, and Jack walked off down the sidewalk,
as she went into the store.

Pickle
was just inside the entryway, wearing a T-shirt with a bowl of cereal and spoon on the front. The shirt said, “Cereal Killer.”

“
Morning, Pickle,” she said, very aware she was going to have to get used to dropping her ‘g’s’ at the end of words. She was beginning to feel like a foreigner. “I see you’re hard at work again putting books on the shelf. Is Lou around?” Walking over to the register desk, she put the vase of hydrangeas down.

“
Oh, she’s over to the diner, but she’ll be right back . . . oap . . . here she is now.”

Lou
came in bustling with energy, in a bright, hot pink dress and big hair perfectly in place. “I’m so mad I could chew up nails and spit out a barbed wire fence.”

Pickle
stooped down and picked up several books out of a box. “Im'a workin’, Miss Lou, I ain’t a lolligaggin’,” he said in an apologetic tone.

“
Oh, Peekal, I ain’t mad at you, honey.” She made a face to Tess and said in a whisper, “If brains were leather, he wouldn’t have enough to saddle a June bug, bless his heart.” Louder, so Pickle could hear, she said, “You go on about yer work and keep an eye out for customers at the reg’ster. Tessie and I have some jawin’ to do.”

She
led Tess back to the office by the arm and immediately started throwing questions at her. “Are you awright honey? I was just up to the diner and heard about yesterday, but John Ed wouldn’t tell me a goll-dern thing. That man’s as full of wind as a corn-eatin’ horse. I don’t
give two hoots and a holler if it’s ‘
Official bidness
,’ I wanna know what happened. You had an intruder last night?” Her voice rose to a fever pitch. “I’ll bet you were just about frightened out a your skivvies. And you bein’ alone and all . . . that’s no way to treat somebody, let alone our town’s newbie.”

“
Lou, I’m fine . . . “ when Lou’s eyebrows went up in question, Tess added, “ . . . really. I was a little shook up last night, I’ll admit. But Jack helped me put everything back together reasonably well, and I don’t think anything was taken.”

“
Oh Jack did, did he?” Lou leaned forward, eager to hear some
gossip.

“
It’s nothing like that, Lou.”

“
Well, shoot.” She went back to the subject at hand. “I just can’t
believe it happened. Some people’s got grits for brains. I’m so glad you’re awright. John Ed wouldn’t tell me much, the old coot, but it didn’t sound like there was gonna be much of an investigation. Makes me embarrassed on account a the whole town.”

“
Why don’t we put it behind us and get to work?” Tess opened
the door to find Pickle stepping back quickly, then busying himself straightening some books nearby.

Lou
saw him, too. “Peekal, get your straw out of my Kool-Aid.”

Tess
turned with a puzzled expression, and Lou whispered, “It means mind your own bidness.” She punctuated the sentence with a firm nod of her head.

“
Peekal, I’m gonna be on you like white on rice if I ever see your ear up to my door again,” she hollered.

Pickle
turned scarlet all the way to the tips of his ears and mumbled, “Yes ma’am,” before loping off across the store, obviously trying to put as much distance between Lou and himself as he could.

Th
e rest of the morning was quiet with not many customers. Around mid-day the mayor came into the store. His short, dark hair was just beginning to grey at the edge of his face, making him distinguished looking. Every time Tess saw him he was in a coat and tie. He stood about five feet ten, and was extremely thin. He wore tortoise shell
preppy glasses, and when he smiled, his bright, white teeth were prominent on his face.

“
Hello, Mayor, nice to see you again. How are you?” Tess asked.

“
Well, I’m fine as frog hair, but twice as jumpy. Although comin' in here always has a calmin' effect on me. But how ‘bout you? I heard what transpired over’t your house yesterday. I came by to see if you’re all right.” He oozed southern charm.

“
That’s really not necessary. I’m just fine.”

“
Oh, honey, you’re better ‘n fine, you’re lookin’ purty as a speckled pup.” He leaned a little too close to Tess, leering slightly at her.

Lou
came to the rescue. “Mare! What in the Sam Hill are you doin’?” She rounded the counter and came at him like a mama bear protecting her cub.

“
What do you mean, Lou? I’m just jawin’ with Ms. Tremaine,” Buck said innocently, taking a few steps back.

“
Yeah, well, with all due respect, take yer jaw somewhere else. I’ll not have you makin’ inappropriate comments to my employees.” She folded her arms in front of her and glared at him.

“
Whoa, Nelly. Keep yer big hair on.” He turned to Tess with his hand over his heart. “Ms. Tremaine, I most sincerely apologize if I’ve offended you in any way. I just think if a man sees a beautiful woman, he has an obligation to tell her. Would you allow me to tell you over dinner, maybe?” His smile filled his face.

He
looks respectable, and besides the leer he seems like a nice man
.
But his charm is a little over the top. And he’s still of the male persuasion, and I have sworn off getting mixed up with any more of his kind.

“
Thank you, Mayor . . . but I can’t. I appreciate the offer, though.”

He
looked at his watch. “It’s comin’ up on lunchtime. Lou, you do give your employees time off for lunch, dontcha?”

“
A course I do, but I brought lunch for us all, and we’re gonna eat in the office today.” She gave Tess a quick wink. “Now Tess, would you mind startin’ on that new display over in the cookin’ section? Tell ya what, I’ll go with ya and getcha started. You have a good day, Mare.”

“
And you as well, ladies,” he chuckled.

The
day went by quickly. Tess met more of the townspeople and continued her lesson on Southern speak. She was beginning to think if she just shoved her fingers in her mouth while she talked, she'd be halfway there.               

When
she got home shortly after three o’clock, she changed into her work clothes, grabbed her iPod, and started removing the rest of the wallpaper in her bedroom. Working until late into the evening, she only stopped once for a quick sandwich. Finally she came to a stopping point, cleaned up the mess, and got ready for bed, exhausted.