Murder Passes the Buck (18 page)

Looking pale and tired, he said,
“
I
’
ve installed new deadbolts.
”
He handed me a set of keys.
“
You
’
ll have to fill out an insurance claim, and Little Donny and Mary offered to help you clean up.
”

The only good thing I could see in having my house vandalized was it gave Blaze something to do. It would keep him out of my way, off chasing burglars while I investigated Chester
’
s murder.

I packed enough clothes for an extended slumber party at Cora Mae
’
s. I noticed Chester
’
s smut magazines on the top shelf of the hall closet and stuffed them into my suitcase. Tonight
’
s entertainment.

“
Keep Little Donny a few more nights,
”
I said to Blaze.
“
I
’
m not ready to move back in yet. Besides, I like sleepovers.
”

Blaze carried my suitcase out to the truck, looking down at the ground while he walked and not saying anything. He opened the door and helped me up, loaded the suitcase in the passenger seat, heaved Kitty up, then stood and watched me try to back down the driveway straight. I didn
’
t look back as I drove away.

Cora Mae isn
’
t much of a cook. The blueberry pancakes she
’
d made earlier this morning were store-bought frozen pancakes,

not the real McCoy. I should have picked up food supplies at Ray
’
s general store, but I forgot how she is.

We had skipped lunch so I was starving, and the lettuce salad she put in front of me didn
’
t fill me up. The down side of staying with Cora Mae was going to be food. I made a mental note to whip up a few casseroles in my spare time.

When Kitty called her third cousin and he appeared in the driveway with a big serving bowl filled with beef stew, I could have hugged her, but I refrained. We aren
’
t over-eager to show affection in Finn country, at least not publicly. No hugging, kissing, or hand holding in public: that
’
s pretty much a standard rule.

After Cousin Jeff roared off, Kitty plunked into a kitchen chair and spread her legs. I tried not to look.

“
Thought you might like some decent grub so I whipped this up earlier,
”
she said, glancing at Cora Mae.
“
No offense, Cora Mae.
”

“
None taken, dear,
”
Cora Mae said as she warmed up the stew.

Kitty was still huffing from the exertion of climbing down the steps to meet Jeff and then mounting them again. I hope if I ever need Kitty to defend me that it doesn
’
t

involve physical movement on her part or I
’
m as good as dead.

Cora Mae set cups of coffee in front of us and sat down herself.

“
Why isn
’
t Bill living on some of his father
’
s property?
”
I asked.
“
All that land, it stands to reason he
’
d live there.
”

“
Bill and his old man never got along much,
”
Kitty said, between bites.
“
Bill couldn
’
t be the macho man Chester wanted him to be. Bill
’
s little and skinny, and when he started doing office work for a living, Chester said it was a girl
’
s job. They
’
ve always been at each other
’
s throats. When he took up with the Southern blonde, Chester really went nuts.
”

“
I can
’
t picture Bill killing Chester,
”
I said.

“
Nah,
”
Kitty said.
“
No way. Bill
’
s against guns, you know. Won
’
t have them around. Another reason his pa was ticked. Bill wouldn
’
t even hunt.
”

“
I wonder how we can find out if anyone had an insurance policy on Chester,
”
I said.

“
Ask Blaze,
”
Cora Mae said.
“
Maybe he has some ideas.
”

Oh, right, Blaze would tell me.

Kitty stayed to watch the news on television, then rocked herself up from the couch with help from Cora Mae and stood several feet inside my comfort zone. I instinctively

backed up. She followed me.

“
Jeffs picking me up out front,
”
she said.
“
You stay in tonight with Cora Mae. No investigating without your bodyguard.
”

After Kitty left, Cora Mae set her hair in big rollers and spread cream on her face while I unpacked my suitcase.

“
Look what I found out at Chester
’
s blind,
”
I said, holding up the magazines.

Cora Mae clapped her hands.
“
Sex magazines! I
’
ve always wanted to look at one of those.
”

We settled on the couch and each of us paged through a magazine. Every once in a while Cora Mae would giggle and show me a picture she thought was special. We weren
’
t interested in the women, but the men were butt-naked, too.

Suddenly Cora Mae screamed in my ear.

“
Ouch,
”
I said, holding my ear.
“
That really hurt.
”

“
Cripes,
”
she said.
“
Look at this.
”

She shoved the magazine in front of my face, too close to see. I took it from her and held it out. There, in all her glory, was Barb Lampi. Two full pages had been devoted to her. The staples binding the magazine together sliced through her belly button. She had the biggest boobs I
’
ve ever seen.

“
Guess those weren
’
t falsies after all,
”
I

said to Cora Mae, whose mouth was frozen open like the mounted trout at Herb
’
s bar.

“
Implants,
”
she managed to mutter.

I searched the caption.
“
It says her name is Thelma Thompson.
”

“
Maybe that
’
s her stage name,
”
Cora Mae said.

“
I doubt she
’
d change her name from Barb to Thelma. It
’
d be the other way around. No, I think that
’
s her real name, and I bet Barb is an alias.
”

Cora Mae stared at the page.
“
Chester must have found these magazines and confronted her. Then she snuck out to the blind and killed him.
”

“
Women don
’
t shoot people,
”
I said, shaking my head.
“
They run them over with their cars or poison them. When
’
s the last time you heard of a woman murdering a man with a rifle?
”

Cora Mae shrugged.
“
Maybe she hired someone.
”

We paged through the rest of the magazines and found her in each one, although she received top billing only in the first one.

It was time for a little talk with Barb.

“
It
’
s time for a little dint,
”
I said.

“
Dint?
”

“
Dint.
”

_Eight

Word for the Day

INCURSION (in KUR zhuhn) n.
A sudden, brief invasion or raid.

Bright and early Tuesday morning while we were enjoying our coffee and cinnamon rolls, Blaze pulled into Cora Mae
’
s driveway in his yellow
sheriffs
truck.

I watched him from the kitchen window as he lumbered to the door and pounded on the frame.

“
My, my,
”
Cora Mae said when she opened the door and noticed his truck,
“
what happened to your truck?
”

“
Got near a lunatic,
”
he said, nodding at me.

“
You
’
ll regret calling me names once I
’
m dead and gone. You
’
ll regret a lot of things when I
’
m gone. But back to business. How are you progressing with the break-in?
”

Blaze was more grim-faced than usual this

morning.
“
That
’
s what I want to talk to you about.
”
He sat down at the table with his winter jacket still on and wrapped his big paws around the cup of coffee Cora Mae set in front of him.
“
Do you want to do this in private?
”
He glanced over at Cora Mae.

“
I don
’
t have any secrets from my friends.
”

“
What I believe happened, Ma,
”
he said, taking my hand in his and answering slowly,
“
is that you vandalized your own home.
”

“
What?
”
I screamed.
“
Have you completely lost your mind?
”

Blaze had his arm out stiff like he was stopping traffic.
“
I
’
m trying to understand. I really am. But you have to talk to me. Maybe you don
’
t want to live alone anymore and it
’
s your way of reaching out.
”

I wanted to reach out all right and clutch Blaze by his cologne-drenched throat.

Cora Mae popped up and grabbed the coffee pot.
“
More coffee?
”

I had my hands on the back of one of the kitchen chairs, squeezing hard. Blaze hadn
’
t even been looking for the person who destroyed my home. Was he completely dense?

“
Convince me then,
”
Blaze said.
“
Give me a good alibi. Little Donny and George were at your house right before the card game. Right?
”

“
That
’
s right. They can vouch for me.
”
I couldn
’
t believe I had to defend myself against my own son. Again.

“
But you didn
’
t come over for the game with them. In fact, we waited so long, at one point we thought you weren
’
t coming at all.
”

I narrowed my eyes.
“
What are you implying? That I used the time to vandalize my own house?
”
When Blaze gave me a steady stare, I slammed my hand down on the table.

Blaze leaned forward and said,
“
I want you to pack up and move over with Mary and me until we sort this out. Until your place is cleaned up.
”

“
No thanks,
”
I said through a clenched jaw.
“
Think I
’
ll pass. As far as I
’
m concerned, it
’
s already sorted out.
”

“
I
’
m not giving you a choice, Ma. I
’
m going to stay right here until you
’
re packed and then I
’
m following you over to the house.
”
Blaze gave Cora Mae, who was listening for once instead of gabbing, a weak smile.

“
Cora Mae,
”
I said.
“
I
’
m staying right here.
”

“
Of course, you are,
”
she said clearing her throat.
“
Maybe you two can reach a com-