Murder Passes the Buck (26 page)

“
We need it for our records.
”

“
Well, to begin with, Barb Lampi wanted to buy the rights from me, but I told her I didn
’
t own them anymore, that I
’
d traded them …
”

The curtains parted and the doctor entered, followed by Blaze, who sipped from a cup of coffee.

“
Ma,
”
Blaze said,
“
what are you doing here?
”

Onni screamed, threw the cloth aside, and tried to open his eyes.
“
What
’
s she doing here? Get her away from me!
”

“
That
’
s no way to treat a visitor,
”
I said. Blaze had me in his elbow lock and we headed down the hall.

“
Bye, Mrs. Maki,
”
Fridge called when we walked by. I waved.

Blaze stared hard to me and said,
“
Mrs. Maki? You impersonated a dead woman? Where
’
s Little Donny?
”

“
He was having such a good time, I let him stay for the dance.
”

Cora Mae came trotting over.
“
I
’
m keeping an eye on her,
”
she said.
“
And so is Kitty.
”
I could see Kitty attempting to launch herself from a waiting room chair.

“
Oh, good,
”
Blaze said.
“
Now I won
’
t worry anymore.
”
He towered over me.

“
Onni said you squirted something in his face.
”

“
Don
’
t know where he got that idea. Viagra must be affecting his mind. I read that stuff can make everything look blue. Imagine what it
’
s doing to his mind.
”

“
I
’
m staying to make sure he
’
s okay,
”
Blaze said.
“
You better hope he doesn
’
t want to press charges.
”

On the way out the revolving door Cora Mae said,
“
Spraying Onni in the face sure isn
’
t going to help your case. Can
’
t you save outrageous behavior till after the hearing?
”

“
Good point, Cora Mae, but I wasn
’
t thinking about the case while Onni pawed me up. It was instinct.
”

We waited outside for Kitty to catch up. I filled them in on my conversation with Onni.
“
Barb
’
s back on my list.
”

“
I thought women didn
’
t murder men with rifles.
”
Cora Mae said.
“
Didn
’
t you say that?
”

“
She must have an accomplice,
”
I reasoned.
“
That
’
s the only explanation.
”

“
Bill,
”
Cora Mae and Kitty said in unison.

_Eleven

Word for the Day

CHTHONIC (THAHN ik) adj.
Designating or of the underworld of
the dead or its gods or spirits.

Thursday morning brought a warm spell. As I woke up in Cora Mae
’
s guest room I could hear melted snow running in the gutters along the roof of her house. It sounded like a waterfall as it emptied with a rush onto the side lawn and traveled toward an irrigation ditch next to the road. An icicle broke loose from the roofline and sailed past the window.

Kitty came over early to help with the investigation. With the narrowing focus on Barb and Bill, I gave her a list of phone calls to make and places to visit, and expected it would keep her busy all day.

I wrote my word for the day on a scrap of paper and wondered how I was going to

incorporate this one into a normal conversation.

“
What are you doing?
”
Kitty said, eyeing the dictionary.

“
Nothing.
”
I balled the paper in my hand.

“
We
’
ll make the phone calls later,
”
Cora Mae said to Kitty.
“
Let
’
s go.
”

Kitty, reluctant to leave me alone, refused to leave until I reminded her that she had backup.
“
Little Donny
’
s on his way over. He
’
ll protect me today.
”

At eight-thirty a.m. Little Donny appeared at the door, a grumpy look on his face.
“
How am I going to get any hunting done if I have to follow you around all day?
”

I glanced at my watch.
“
You could have had two hours of hunting in before you came over here. You
’
re going to have to reset your internal clock.
”

“
I have to go home tomorrow. Mom called last night to tell me I had a response on one of my job applications. First thing Monday morning, I have an interview.
”
Little Donny didn
’
t appear to be jumping with joy.

“
Come on. I
’
ll buy you breakfast.
”
I didn
’
t want to think about him leaving.

We drove over to the Deer Horn Cafe, Stonely
’
s one and only restaurant. The local boys like to hang out there every morning, and I decided to see what the current

scuttlebutt might be.

As we drove up, I noticed the train had stopped on the tracks across from the restaurant with its headlight still on. That meant Otis Knutson was paying a visit. He passed by every week, driving his train to Lower Michigan and always ground her to a halt at the Deer Horn to say howdy.

George sat at a table with Carl Anderson and Otis.

“
If you don
’
t ask to borrow my car no more,
”
Carl said to Little Donny,
“
you two can sit with us.
”

Everybody thought that was funny. It doesn
’
t take much to get Finns and Swedes going. Their favorite game is mine
’
s-bigger-than-yours. In the spring when the trout are running in the Escanaba River, it
’
s my trout is bigger than yours. In the summer, it
’
s my tomatoes are bigger than yours, and of course, in the late fall during hunting season, it
’
s my buck is bigger than yours. It
’
s the same old story, year in, year out, and it seems that everyone is in on the competition.

Carl won the my-tomato-is-bigger-than-yours last year, but he
’
s still trying to live down the practical joke he fell for. George drove into Escanaba and picked out a big store-bought watermelon and tucked it into

Carl
’
s watermelon patch. Carl came flying into the restaurant all out of breath and bragging about the size of his watermelon. Only a fool would believe a watermelon could be full-grown ripe by the first of July, especially in Upper Michigan. They had a good time with that one.

“
Who
’
s got the biggest buck so far?
”
Otis asked.

“
I got one has sixteen points and weighs a good two hundred pounds,
”
Carl said.

“
In your dreams, you B.S.
’
er.
”
George joined in, rocking back on his chair and hooting.

“
Big Buck
’
s still running loose,
”
Carl said, digging a toothpick in his teeth.
“
Eighteen points. Someone saw him yesterday, but he stayed on the edge of the woods. Wouldn
’
t come in close enough for a shot. He didn
’
t grow to get a rack like that by being stupid, ya know.
”

I ordered eggs over easy, bacon, and American fries. Little Donny wanted the same.

“
I
’
m heading home tomorrow,
”
Little Donny said to George.
“
I thought I might help you finish the hole in Granny
’
s barn first.
”

“
Sure,
”
George said.
“
I
’
ll stop home and get my tools. We can work on it right after I

fix Cora Mae
’
s fence.
”

I made a mental note to help Cora Mae break her fence right away. In all the excitement last night, she probably forgot.
“
She
’
s out running errands with Kitty,
”
I said.

“
That
’
s all right,
”
George assured me.
“
She doesn
’
t need to be home for me to fix it.
”

“
Cora Mae doesn
’
t like it when people come around when she
’
s not there,
”
I punted.
“
Better leave it for another day.
”

Otis had on his conductor hat with the pinstripes. He was born and raised in Trenary, making him homegrown, like most of the boys in the restaurant. I looked around. Not a woman in the bunch except me, and Ruthie, the owner, slaving in the back over the kitchen stove.

She brought our orders and refilled everyone
’
s coffee cups. Wisps of hair had escaped from her bun and stuck to the sweat on her face. Seeing her reminded me of something.

“
Ruthie,
”
I said, squirting ketchup on my American fries,
“
remember last spring, those Lower Michigan fellows were in here trying to buy up land?
”

“
Ya, Gert, and nobody gave them the time of day.
”

Otis adjusted his conductor hat.
“
I was in here, too,
”
he said.
“
Bunch a scary-looking

characters.
”

“
Have any of them been hanging around lately?
”
I asked, not addressing anyone in particular.

Carl shook his head.
“
Don
’
t want no goof-ball survivalists movin
’
in here,
”
he said. Carl owns more weapons than anyone around, and I wouldn
’
t be surprised if he has some of them buried to keep them safe from theft and the federal government. I wondered what his definition of
“
survivalist
”
was.

“
Walt Laakso was friendly with them,
”
George said,
“
until everyone ganged up and talked some sense into him.
”

Checking his watch, Otis jumped up.
“
Holy cow, look at the time. I gotta run.
”

We heard a long steady toot on the train horn as the boxcars rattled into motion and chugged away.

I glanced up and saw George studying me. He always looked like he could see right into my brain and figure out what I was up to.

“
What?
”
I asked him when he kept staring at me.

“
You sure are a pretty sight today.
”

“
Oh, stuff it, George.
”
But I couldn
’
t help blushing.

George grinned and slowly shook his head