Music of the Heart (12 page)

tomorrow and you can yell at me all you want then.

              I don’t respond anymore because I really am tired.  I close my eyes and start to drift to sleep.  Before I totally fade out, I hear Thomas talking to someone on the phone.  I can’t make it all out but I do hear him tell someone that I’m fine and just fell asleep.  With that, I cozy up to my pillow I brought and go straight to sleep.

CROSS

              After Thomas assures me that Ashleigh is home safe and sound, I turn in for the night.  Tomorrow is our “Friendsgiving” lunch and then we’re all headed to Auburn for the Iron Bowl – one of the biggest rivalries in college football which is Auburn vs. Alabama. 

              I didn’t know Ashleigh in school because the girls are all younger than us but Dixon, Reed and myself all went to Auburn as did all the girls.  I also played baseball while in school.  My family, Merritt & Dixon’s family and Ashleigh’s family all have a huge tailgate planned for game day on Saturday.  It’s a night game so we have all day to have some fun. 

              On Friday, I walk into Merritt’s kitchen and instantly smile at the sight of Ashleigh with all of the girls.  They’re all laughing and I go to greet each one with a kiss on the cheek. 

              I grab a beer and head into the den with the guys.  After the food is all ready, we keep it casual and all eat in the den while we watch football.  Dixon is the first one to speak up.

              “Ashleigh, how was this leg of the tour?  Everything go good?”

              “Oh, yeah.  It was fine.”

              “Fine.  That’s all you’re giving us.  Just fine?”

              She shakes her head and it doesn’t take but a few seconds before Merritt pipes up.

              “Fine normally means something is wrong.  You always say it was great or awesome and then you have some stories to tell us.  Just fine means something is up and I’m pretty sure I know what it is.”

              I feel like I’m watching a tennis match bobbing my head back and forth.  Ashleigh and Merritt are giving each other the eye now.

              “Just drop it Merritt.  Everything was great.  Happy now?”

              The rest of the afternoon just has a weird vibe to it.  I can’t put my finger on it but something is going on between Ashleigh and Merritt.  It’s likely none of my business but they are so close, it’s crazy so I have no idea what could be going on between them.

              Ashleigh and I don’t talk much throughout the day but I know I’ll get a chance later tonight or tomorrow in Auburn.  After lunch, everyone helps clean up and then everyone starts to head home to pack for Auburn since we are leaving early in the morning.  We decide to take two SUVS – one for the guys and one for the girls.  We’re all going to meet at Ashleigh’s house to load up and hit the road.

              I have been home about an hour and caught up on some work before next week.  Walking into the den, I grab my phone and notice a text waiting for me.

Ashleigh: Hey.  Sorry we didn’t talk much today.  I’m still really tired from the tour and to be

                     honest, I’m trying to figure out if we’re really friends now.

Cross: Of course we’re friends.  Why would you think anything different?

Ashleigh: Can Cross Hamilton be “just friends” with a girl?

Cross: I’m friends with Merritt and the other girls.

Ashleigh: That’s different.  They’re like sisters.

Cross: Well, I want to be your friend.  What do you say?

Ashleigh: Hmmm… I’ll think about it.  Look, I’m tired and headed to bed. See you in the

                    morning.

Cross: Hey, no yelling today?!

Ashleigh: Don’t worry.  I’m not letting you off the hook yet.

              Fuck me.  I’m not supposed to like this girl.  I’m not supposed to like any girl.  I am a known playboy who likes to hop from woman to woman with no worries of happily ever after.    Yet here I am thinking about what a future with Ashleigh would be like.

              As much as I enjoy texting with her and talking to her and hell, just being around her, I’m not the one for her.  She deserves someone so much better than me.  Someone who can promise her the life she deserves to have and not one who’s got the reputation like I do.  I’m caught between what I think I want and how I’m really feeling.  I just don’t want her to get the wrong idea of me.  I just need to keep things on a friend level with her like I am with the other girls. 

              That sounds good, doesn’t it?  That’s just what I’ll keep telling myself and hopefully, one day, I’ll start to believe it.

Chapter Fourteen

ASHLEIGH

              The football weekend goes by quick and I enjoy every minute of it.  Well, except for the part where Cross seemed distant towards me.  I felt like he did everything he could to not have to be around me.  If I walked near where he was sitting, he always had to get up because he needed something.  I didn’t make a big deal about it but I just understand why today he is choosing to be distant.

              After the game, we all head back to Atlanta.  This time, one of the guys drive each car so the girls can sleep.  When we get home, the girls decide just to spend the night at my house since it’s so late.

              The next day, we all sleep in and go out for a late brunch after we wake up.  The girls have to get back to the house for a few appointments with clients.  I should be packing back up to hit the road again until Christmas but instead, I will be staying in Atlanta.  I just haven’t told everyone yet.  Sure, they’ll be happy I don’t have to travel but not so happy when they hear it’s because of my voice again.

              I spend the day running errands and catching up some fan mail that’s been stacking up.  I get so involved with answering e-mails and letters (yes, I do a lot of it myself), that before I know it, it’s time for dinner.  I make a batch of chili and some cornbread.  The rest of my evening is pretty uneventful.  I sit watching movies on the Hallmark Channel and try to figure out why Cross hasn’t texted me at all today.

              I wake up the next morning feeling refreshed but a little nervous.  I plan on telling my friends about my voice feeling worse today.

              After I get dressed, I make a trip over to Dixon’s office.  I called Merritt on the way to see if she could stop by his office as well.  I arrive at his building and ride up to the 10
th
floor where his law office is and his secretary tells me to go on in. Knocking on his door, Dixon looks up.

              “Well, this is a nice surprise.  What are you doing here?  Shouldn’t you be getting back on the road?”  Dixon comes over and gives me a kiss on the cheek.

              Just as I go to sit down, Merritt walks in.

              “I was about to ask the same question.  I thought you were heading back out until the week of Christmas?  And why did you ask me to come here?”

              “Look guys, I just wanted to tell y’all before everyone else.  I’m not going back out on the road until the New Year.”

              Dixon questions me, “Why?  What’s going on?”

              “It’s your voice again, isn’t it?  Damn it, Ashleigh.  I knew something was up this weekend.  You were pretty quiet during the day and then after the game and all your screaming, I …  Well, I just should have known.”  Merritt looks pretty pissed off at me.

              “Ashleigh, maybe you need to go back to the doctor or…”

              Before Dixon can finish he is completely interrupted by none other than Cross Hamilton.

              “What the fuck Ashleigh?  I thought your voice was fine.  I thought your throat was doing better.  Maybe you should get a second opinion.  I mean, do you even know if your doctor is reliable?  I’ll call my dad and brother for recommendations.”

              I’m sitting here stunned just listening to him ramble on about what I should be doing and what he’ll do to take care of everything.  Hell, if it was that easy, I would have done it a long time ago.

              “With all due respect, you asshole, it’s none of your damn business.  Why are you even here?  I didn’t ask you to come.”

              “Um, Ashleigh, he’s meeting me for lunch.  I asked him to be at my office at noon.  Sorry, I didn’t know you were stopping by.”  Dixon gives me a sympathetic look.

              “You know Ashleigh, maybe Cross is right.  Maybe you should go and have a second opinion.  It wouldn’t hurt to hear what a different doctor has to say.”

              “Merritt!  You’re supposed to be on my side.  Ugh!  I’m leaving… Merritt?  Are you coming to lunch with me or not?!”

              As I walk out of Dixon’s office, I hear Merritt laughing beside me.  “You can’t stay mad at me long, Ashleigh.”

              “Shut up bitch.  Let’s go, you’re treating me to lunch today.”

CROSS

              What the fuck was that?  I didn’t mean to make her mad at me but I’m genuinely worried for her.  Things have been going so great between us and I guess now, I’ve fucked it all up.  Well, I guess I should be happy.  I’m trying to convince myself I can’t settle down.  I’m not a one-woman man.  Ashleigh is just a friend and I’m pretty that’s all she wants to be.

              Since she’s already pissed off at me, I go ahead and call my dad and my brother to see if they know someone to give her a second opinion.

              In case anyone was wondering, my dad is the top cardiologist in Atlanta and actually the Southeast.  My brother is a pediatrician but has connections with all types of doctors.  I call them both and tell them what’s going on and ask that everything I told them is kept completely quiet due to her job.

              I really want to go after her and apologize but Dixon and I are headed to lunch.  We decide to go to The Dugout after he convinces me heading to the Sweet Peach would not be in my best interest right now since the girls are there.

              “Man, listen.  I know you have a thing for Ashleigh.  What exactly it is, I’m not entirely sure but what I do know is you can’t just storm in and act like you all the time.”

              “What the fuck does that mean?  I can’t act like me?  What’s so wrong with me? And besides, I don’t have a thing for her.  Remember, I’m not exactly a relationship kind of guy.”

              “Look, everyone knows you have a domineering attitude towards things. Ashleigh is not going to take that kind of shit either.  She’s different than anyone you’ve ever been with and that’s a good thing.  All I’m saying is chill the fuck out and lay off of her some.  The possibility of anything being wrong with her voice or throat is pretty scary for her so just let her get things figured out.  I know you want to help but maybe do it in less aggressive way.”

              “So you’re saying leave her alone and not help her at all?”

“No Cross.  I’m saying drop the alpha male shit and let her figure things out on her own instead of trying to take over her life.  You aren’t even her boyfriend but yet you’re doing things like one would.”

We head to The Dugout to grab some lunch and thankfully take our conversation in a different direction.  We talk about some new developments I’m working on and the upcoming holidays.  Our families always do a lot together so I’m trying to plan any business trips around the festivities.

After lunch, I call the office and let Barbara know I’ll be out the rest of day but still available if needed.  I head straight for the hospital and walk right up to my dad’s office.  Thankfully, he’s in there with no patients waiting.

“Son, what a nice surprise.  What brings you by today?”