Music of the Heart (32 page)

              I just laugh at Merritt and grab my suitcase out of the car.

              “I need to go see Cross. I love him.”

              I look up to see four pairs of eyes staring back at me with mouths hanging open.

              “What?  Why are y’all looking at me like that?  Shouldn’t you be happy or jumping up and down?  I know y’all have been waiting for me to realize how I feel.   I just need to see him.  We didn’t leave things great at the beach and we haven’t talked since y’all left.”

              “Ash, I think it’s amazing that you realized this but honey, he’s not here right now.  He’s gone out of town on business and will be for about three or four weeks.”

              Well, shit.  I really wanted to see him.  Now I’m starting to second guess myself though.  I mean, he told me he loved me before he came home but I never heard from him at all after that.  No texts, no phone calls, nothing.  Now, he’s out of town for almost a month and I had no idea.  Maybe I should just keep my mouth shut and wait to see how things play out when he gets back in town.

              “Okay.  Well, moving on then… I’m starving.  What about y’all?”

              I walk in the back door and the girls follow me in.  They all have looks of confusion on their faces.  No one brings it back up though because they know me well and have clued in I don’t want to talk about it again right now.  Ava is the first to speak up.

              “Hey Ash.  Do you have plans for Labor Day weekend?”

              “Not that I know of.  Why?  What’s going on?  Do y’all not have a wedding that weekend?”

              “Yeah, we do have a wedding.  A huge wedding actually.  I was more curious about the Thursday before.  I kind of entered this huge Atlanta Baking competition and it’s that day.  The competition starts at 10:00 a.m. and there are three rounds.  After it’s over, there’s a big charity dinner as well to benefit The Art Institute of Atlanta.  I was hoping y’all could be at the competition and the dinner.  I know it will be crazy because of the wedding but it would mean a lot to me.”

              “Of course!  I wouldn’t miss it for the world.  I’ll be there from start to finish and at the dinner too.  I’ll help y’all with the wedding also.  It’s not like I have anything else to do.”

              We eat in silence for a few minutes before Laken starts talking.

              “So, when do you head back to the doctor for a check-up?  It should be pretty soon.  You’re close to the end of your break, right?”

              “Yeah, actually I go back the Tuesday after Labor Day to see Dr. Whitley.  I’m nervous but hoping for a clean bill of health.  I am so ready to get back to singing and get on the road again.”

              We spend the next few hours eating, talking and drinking a lot of wine.  Becoming tired quickly, everyone decides to sleep at my house for the night.  I head up to my room and crash on my bed.  I have a lot to do tomorrow and go to bed making a to-do list in my head.

CROSS

              I’ve been traveling for three and a half weeks now.  I’m headed back home Wednesday afternoon.  My mom called earlier in the week telling me about one of her many charities.  There’s a big baking competition and charity dinner to benefit The Art Institute of Atlanta and my mom asked us to come to the dinner.  She wanted me at the competition also since Ava is a participant in it but I have a big meeting during the day so the dinner is all I can commit to.  She’s also been harping on me to bring a date but that’s not going to happen since I’m not sure how Ashleigh is feeling about me right now. 

              Thursday rolls around and Dixon texts me throughout the day to keep me updated on how Ava is doing.  I wish I could go watch her but these meetings can’t be postponed. Around 5:00, I wrap things up at the office and head home to change.  I really don’t want to go at all but mom always expects her boys at her charity functions.  Thankfully, it is not a black tie event tonight so we can be a little more laid back.  Just as I get out of the shower, Dixon sends me a text telling me Ava won the competition so even more reason to celebrate at the charity dinner tonight.

              I arrive at the dinner and walk in to find my dad and my brothers talking at one of the bars.

              “Hey guys.  How is everyone tonight?”

              “Hey man, glad you made it back in town.  How was the business trip?”

              My oldest brother, Gaines, is a doctor like my dad but takes a big interest in my business.  He’s invested in a few properties I’ve acquired as well.

              “Everything went well.  Thanks for asking.  How’s everything at work?”

              We talk for a few minutes before my very pregnant sister-in-law, Katie, interrupts us. I lean down and kiss her cheek.

              “Hey Cross.  How are you?  I’m sorry to interrupt but your mom told me to round everyone up and head to our table.  Dinner’s about to be served and then they are going to present Ava with her award.”

              We head towards the two tables up front for our family and friends and I start to make the rounds of hellos to everyone.  I’m heading over to see Merritt when I’m met face to face with Ashleigh.

              “Cross?!  I didn’t expect to see you here.  I thought you were out of town.”

              “Hey Ash.  I was but I got back yesterday.”

              “Oh.  Well, I haven’t heard from you so I wasn’t sure what all you had going on.  Look, I better find my seat.  It looks like dinner is about…”

              “Wait a minute Ashleigh.  You can’t be mad about me for not calling or texting you.  You never got in touch with me either.  I was trying to give you space like you asked.  We do need to talk.  Later?”

              All she can do is nod at me.  She looks like she might cry but she composes herself and walks over to her chair by Merritt.  My seat is across the table from her and I literally watch her all night long.  Dixon is to my right and catches me looking her way.

              “Dude, if you don’t stop staring at Ashleigh, people are going to think you’re a creeper.  I mean, you’ve honestly sat here and stared at her the entire dinner.  You need to chill the hell out man.”

              “Dammit Dixon.  I fucking love that girl and she acts like I crushed her world.  I don’t understand why she can’t forgive me.  How many times do I have to fucking apologize?”

              “Well, with that attitude, I’m sure you’ll win her right back.  Cross, I promise she will come around.  I know her and I can guarantee you that she loves you too.  She’s just got a larger hurdle to get over to realize it than you did.”

              Dinner ends and they present the award and prize to Ava for winning the competition.  Our tables go crazy for her because we are all so proud of her.  This is a big accomplishment.  They begin serving dessert and as people are finishing up, the dancing begins.  A business associate stops at the table to talk and somehow in that time, I miss Ashleigh step away from the table.  I finish talking and walk around trying to find her.  I want to dance with her and talk to her.  I see her across the room talking to the wife of a Falcons player and I head that way.  Before I make it too far, I am grabbed by the arm.  Turning around, I come face to face with Dani, who is an old family friend. 

              “Cross Harper!  It’s been so long since I’ve seen you.  How have you been?”

              “Hey Dani.  I’m pretty good.  And yourself?”

              She talks for a few minutes and somehow convinces me to dance with her.  We’re dancing to a slow song when I turn her around and come face to face with Ashleigh.  The look on her face is one of hurt again.  I know what she’s thinking seeing me with another woman but it’s not what she thinks.  I see her turn away and I immediately decide to go after her.

              “Dani, I’m sorry.  I’ve got to go.  I’m very close to losing the girl I love and I can’t let that happen.”

              It doesn’t take much to catch up with Ashleigh.  I grab her arm and turn her back around to look at me. 

              “What’s going on Ashleigh?  Why did you just run away?”

              “You looked busy Cross.  I didn’t want to interrupt your dance so I decided to leave.  What’s the big deal in that?”

              “God damn it Ashleigh.  When are you going to forgive me?  I don’t know what else to do.”

              I run my hands through my hair in frustration.  I’ve never been mad at Ashleigh but I am so frustrated right now.  I turn to say something else to her and see we’ve drawn the attention of Dixon, Reed and Merritt.  Dixon walks up to me and puts a hand on my shoulder.

              “Hey man, maybe we can all take this out on the patio away from the party.  Your mom won’t be too happy if you cause a scene in here.”

              Reed and Dixon walk me outside and I glance over to see Merritt walking with Ashleigh.  The five of use are outside when I start talking again.

              “Ashleigh.  Please look at me.  I need you to believe how sorry I am but I don’t know what else to do to make you believe me.  I never meant to hurt you.  I mean, I fucking love you.  I was only trying to help you and protect you.”

              Turning to look at her, I see tears falling down her cheeks.  Shit, I love this girl and I can’t do anything but upset her.  I walk over to her and rub my hands on her cheeks.  She lays her head into my hand

              “Ash.  Look at me please.”

              Thankfully, she looks up into my eyes.  I want to take her in my arms and kiss her right now but I’m pretty sure right now is not the time for that.

              “I.  Love.  You.  You have to know that.  You have owned my heart from the first time we met.  I truly only did what I thought was best.  Did I go about it the right way?  No.  Should I have talked to you first?  Yes.  But fuck me, I didn’t and I will apologize every day for the rest of our lives if I need to.  I really need you to say something.”

              Still looking at her, I try to read her face.  Finally, I get a small smile out of her. 

              “Cross, I do love you but do you think with everything we’ve been through that we can just go back to normal?  Who’s to say you won’t go behind my back again if my throat messes up again.  And will your job always be your top priority?  Between both of us, we travel for work all the time.  Are we really right for each other?  I’m sorry.  I just don’t know yet.”

              She reaches up and kisses my cheek and then turns and walks away.

Chapter Thirty-Six

ASHLEIGH

              It’s September 6
th
and the big day is here.  I have an appointment with Dr. Whitley today to check my throat.  I’m hoping since I haven’t sung but two times with permission since March that my voice is perfect and I will get the go ahead to go back to work. 

Merritt came with me for support and I’m not going to lie… I’m pretty nervous.

              Good morning Ashleigh.  How are you today?”

              “Hey Dr. Whitley.  I’m doing well.  I’m pretty nervous though.  I’m worried you’re going to tell me no more singing again.”

              “Well, have you rested your voice like you were told?”

              “I have.  I mean I sang two times but both were with your permission.”