Must Love Wieners (30 page)

Aiden hung up the phone and reached out to place a comforting hand on the back of Piper’s neck. But she didn’t cry, she didn’t gasp and swear, she just exhaled and leaned against the wall resigning to it, like “That just figures.”

“The cops were already called,” Aiden said. “They’re almost here.”

“Sorry the place is such a mess,” she told him. “I gave the maid a day off.” A bubble of laughter floated up to Piper’s lips and she had to clamp them down to hold it back. She wondered if it was the stress combined with the lack of sleep. It could all be a big hallucination. Maybe she was losing her mind. One could only hope, right?

At least Aiden hadn’t seen what her place was like before, she told herself. Maybe he’d assume it looked like crap because of the ransacking. But in reality, it was a dump either way. A giggle popped out before she could stop it. She ran a hand though her hair, feeling like she could laugh and cry at the same time.

They waited in the hall in silence until the cops arrived. She answered the usual questions, the who, what, where, when, and why. If only she knew who the “who” was. Another hour passed before their identification unit started poking around her stuff, observing the state of her junk, lifting things with pens, taking photos.

Oh God,
she thought, her mind racing in wild, not completely rational directions.
They’ll find my stash of vibrators.
But she figured they saw worse stuff than that. Besides, she had more important things to worry about besides her purple Rabbit.

“Why would someone do this?” she asked. “What would someone have to gain from ruining my cheap crap?” Crap it might have been, but it was
her
crap, selected and arranged specially to form a home, her home. And as cheap as it might have been, it’s not like she had the money to replace it.

“It could be the same person that’s targeting the rescue center. Or Barney Miller, if he’s not one and the same.”

“Or Laura.” She glanced at him sidelong. “Or your PR, Tamara.”

“Not that again. Tamara wouldn’t, couldn’t, do something like this.”

“You just haven’t seen the real her.”

“Look, all I’m saying is that it has to be connected. It’s not a coincidence.”

“Either that or I’m the unluckiest person I know.”

“I’m not kidding. I’m worried about you. Someone is out to get you.” He gripped her by the shoulders. “This is serious.”

“Do I look like I’m laughing?”

“You’re staying with me tonight,” he said firmly.

Despite the seriousness of the situation, her heart skipped a beat. That would be one way to get her mind off things.

“Oh, it’s going to be much longer than just a night,” a male voice said from the stairwell behind them.

Piper spun to find her landlord’s round beer belly poking through the entry into the hallway, like he was going to give birth to a beach ball at any minute. He scowled at the state of her apartment.

“Steve. Don’t worry,” she said. “I’ll get this cleaned up.”

“You’re damn right you will. And you’ve got three days to do it.” He used the back of his hand to wipe the sweat off his face from climbing the stairs.

“Three days? Until what?”

“Until you’re out on your ass.” He jabbed a finger at her. “Consider this a notice of eviction.”

She scowled at the short man. “Eviction? Steve, you can’t mean it. This wasn’t my fault.”

Aiden straightened his tie, like a boxer would slip on his gloves, preparing for a fight. “You can’t evict her because someone broke into her apartment. If anything, your building’s poor security features led to the destruction of her property.”

“Right,” Piper said. “What he said.”

Steve snorted. “You mean the destruction of
my
property.”

“This is my home. My stuff. Or … it was,” she amended lamely.

“It’s only your home as long as you pay for it.” Sighing, he pulled off his bifocals and cleaned them on his stained polo shirt. When he put them back on it was like he was able to see something other than red. “Piper,” he said, a bit calmer. “You haven’t paid up for the month. I can’t let you live here for free.”

Aiden’s head swiveled to her and her cheeks flared hot, but she pretended like she hadn’t noticed. “Look, I’m sorry. I was trying to scrape by until payday, and then I got really … busy.” Which was a gross understatement.

She dug into her purse, fishing for the check Aiden wrote her on Friday for dog walking. Whipping it out, she waved it in the air. “Look. See? Here’s my paycheck. I can sign it over to you right now.”

Ducking into the kitchen, she rifled through the pile of clutter on the tiles from the overturned junk drawer. When she found a pen, she signed the check over to Steve on the back of a frying pan.

“Here.” She slipped back into the hall and waved it in his face until he snatched it from her.

He glanced at the amount. “This isn’t near enough. And it’s two weeks late.”

She bit the inside of her cheek, wishing Aiden weren’t there to witness this. “Come on. I’m clean. I’m quiet. I’m a good neighbor. Just ask anyone.”

“Good neighbor?” His eyebrows shot up. “Your neighbors say that you’ve been hooking.”

She gasped in indignation. “Hooking?! I’m not hooking.”

“They said they’ve seen you come and go at all hours of the day in … costumes.”

She noticed one of the cops inside turn his head toward their conversation. “
I’m not hooking,
” she told him.

Steve studied Aiden, his tailored suit and Cartier watch. He leaned closer to Piper, whispering behind his hand, “That’s not your john, is it?”

Piper swatted him away, mostly to waft the smell of Budweiser out of her face. “I’m not a hooker. I’m a telegram girl.”

“If it’s a matter of money…” Aiden reached for his back pocket.

Piper held up her hand. “I thank you,” she said as sincerely as she could between clenched teeth, “but if you finish that sentence I’m going to hit you with this frying pan.” Baby steps, she reminded herself. Death threats weren’t a good start to making progress with accepting help. She tried to give him a tight smile to show that she was kidding … mostly. Okay, not really.

“Look, Piper,” Steve began. “If it was a matter of a late rent, I’d let you stay. Despite the graffiti I had to clean off your window.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that. It was harder to get off than I anticipated.”

“You’re a good kid. But you know the rules.” He tilted his bald head toward the apartment.

Colin stood in the middle of the living room, his barrel chest swollen proudly as though he’d swallowed his own beach ball. His tail whipped back and forth. He scampered over and presented a gift to Piper clamped in his jaws: Mr. Wiggles.

“Oh,” was all she could say in defense.

“Hey, get that dog out of the crime scene!” one of the cops yelled.

Colin threw his head back to get a better grip on her stuffed animal. He clamped down again, and the toy blew out a pathetic
sque-e-e-ea-a-a-ak
. But to Piper’s ears it sounded more like
You’re screeeeeeewed.

Aiden cleared his throat. “That’s my dog. Colin, here, boy.” He bent down and Colin trotted over to show off his toy.

Steve held up a hand. “Save it. I can see the dog food spilling out of the pantry from here.”

Aiden reached for his back pocket again, but Piper threw him a glare that stopped him dead. Groaning in frustration, he ran his hands through his hair until it looked like he’d just tumbled out of bed.

“But Steve, please. I’m begging you. I have my licensing exam next week. As in my
final
exam. Eight years of my life working toward this. I can’t handle worrying about graduating and moving out.”

“No buts, Piper. You’re out. You have three days, as per your broken agreement.”

The air whooshed from her lungs like he’d kicked her in the chest. She gripped the doorframe as though the floor had fallen out from under her feet. Forget all her broken crap; forget homicidal maniacs in cars; forget pyromaniacs who wanted to set her entire world on fire.
Now
she was freaking out. She had finally reached her limit.

“I’m sorry. Rules are rules.” Steve raised his hands to show her there was nothing he could do. “And keep the dog under wraps,” he said. “I don’t want the other tenants finding out. Next thing you know I’ll be running a zoo.”

He gave her a look loaded with pity, and without meaning to, her back straightened and her chin rose. She knew she had problems if Steve pitied her.

The cop who interviewed her hovered at the threshold to her apartment. “Miss Summers?” she said. “Can you please explain this?”

Oh no, she thought. They’d found her vibrators. Was it the purple one? For the love of God, not the red one! How did she let Zoe convince her to purchase that monstrosity? That wonderfully effective monstrosity …

Piper swallowed hard, but when she looked at what the cop was holding she frowned at it for a moment. It was a piece of black lace hanging off the end of a pen.

The skin on her neck prickled, heat creeping up it, spreading over her cheeks. “Umm, that’s my underwear.”

Steve whistled. “That’s not underwear. That’s what I use to floss my teeth.”

Piper juddered slightly as her skin crawled. She flashed him a dirty look. Aiden shifted, looming over him, his face darker than she thought possible for the self-controlled businessman. Steve wisely chose to look abashed and avert his gaze to the stained carpet.

The police officer took a second pen and slid it through the other leg hole until Piper could see right through, well … the most important part of the panties.

Piper gasped. “What happened to my crotch?”

“They all seem to be like that,” the cop said.

“All of them?” Piper’s voice rose an octave.

“Yeah. Looks like the intruder took a pair of scissors to the entire drawer. We, uhh…” Her face colored a little and she cleared her throat. “We can’t find the other pieces. It looks like they took them home as a souvenir.”

Piper closed her eyes, covering her mouth with her hand. “I think I’m going to be sick.”

She felt more than saw Aiden stiffen, his jaw clenching as he forced an angry puff of air out of his nose. His self-control was certainly being tested that weekend.

The police officer recovered from her embarrassment. “Do you have any other thoughts about who would have broken into your apartment tonight and mutilated your underwear drawer?”

The skin crawling returned like she was covered in cockroaches, a feeling she experienced often. Once a week, in fact. Every time she went to see him: “Barney Miller.”

“Is that a boyfriend of yours?”

Piper’s gag reflex activated without warning, but she took a deep breath before she hurled. “No. Definitely not. He’s a regular client of mine. Or was.”

“A john?” asked Steve.

“I’m
not
a prostitute,” she snapped. “He hired me to sing telegrams. We had a disagreement a couple of weeks ago and I quit on him. Apparently, he’s been stalking me. A report was made earlier today.” She didn’t exactly feel like reliving it.

The thought of Barney’s disgusting little hands riffling through her underwear drawer, fingering her panties while he cut out the crotches, made bile rise in her throat again. She turned away from the thong and braced herself against the wall.

Aiden grabbed her chin and fixed her with a stare that said he meant business. “You’re staying at my house tonight.”

She wasn’t sure if he said it because she had someone, or maybe several someones, after her or because her crotchless Victoria’s Secret panties were still dangling off the end of a ballpoint pen. Either way, she wasn’t about to argue.

29

Throw a Dog a Bone

Piper trudged into Aiden’s house and dropped her overnight bag and backpack next to the side table. By now, the numbness that had taken over her body at her apartment had faded, replaced with raw sensations of fear, weariness, and, most frustratingly, helplessness. The door slammed behind her, making her jump. She turned around to find Aiden glowering at her. Sophie greeted them from the bottom of the steps, but he didn’t seem to notice her.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Aiden demanded.

She flinched at the hostility in his voice, and so did Colin and Sophie. “About what?”

“About what? About everything. How about the creep who’s been perving on you at work? Or let’s start with the fact that you couldn’t pay rent and now you’re homeless.”

Her back straightened at his tone. “Because, quite frankly, my finances are none of your business.” And they weren’t. He wasn’t her boyfriend. He wasn’t the boss of her. Okay, well, technically he was. But still … “This is my problem, not yours.”

Colin and Sophie shared an uncomfortable look and decided to head into the other room to give them privacy.

“But it’s such an easy problem for me to fix,” Aiden said. “You know perfectly well that a month’s rent isn’t going to break the bank. Why didn’t you just ask?”

She’d been zapped of energy, it had been another long day, she had a headache, and the last thing she wanted to do was fight. “What’s done is done. It doesn’t matter, anyway. I can’t stay there now that Steve knows I have a dog.”

Aiden sighed, loosening his tie like he wanted a truce as much as she did. “All right. We can deal with it tomorrow. I know of a good moving company. They can take care of everything in a single afternoon.”

“Right”—she laughed dryly—“and move to where?”

He snorted. “I run a little company called Caldwell and Son Investments. I’m not sure if you’ve heard about us. We own a property or two.”

“You think I can afford one of your luxury properties that have some pretentious name like the Nottingham Lakeview Estates? Even though it’s not really an estate and it’s nowhere near a lake,” she babbled, flustered by the suggestion. “That comes with doormen, and elevators, and fancy swirly numbers on the doors, and probably not even a single cockroach?”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure the owner won’t mind if you stay for free.”

“Forget it.” She crossed her arms. “I’m not bumming off you.”