My Body-His (15 page)

I smiled. “Yeah, I get your point. I need to get my
own laptop today. Any ideas?”

“
Costco maybe?” she said as the waitress placed
the steaming stir-fry between our place settings.

“
Oh yeah, good idea,” I said.
“Thanks.”

* * * *

When I returned to my office a large box sat atop my
desk. The Dell logo gave its contents away. The fact that Luke
negotiated getting me a computer just before leaving on a plane
left me awed. He’d managed to have it delivered as well. It’s good
to be the king, as they say. After I moved the box to the extra
chair in my office, I set about finishing my paperwork. I found it
hard to focus, wondering repeatedly how Luke had turned a
suggestion into reality so quickly. His money and influence had
proved formidable and I began to enjoy the possibilities.

* * * *

I placed an order for a chicken Caesar salad prior to
leaving work and picked it up on the way home. I set up the salad
ceremoniously alongside the box, unpacked my new computer, and
frenetically dove into both. I was eager to send Luke an email to
thank him for the laptop. Would I hear from him right away, or
would he make me wait?

In the past loading up a new computer for the first
time had proved an arduous process, but when I turned on my new
laptop, it loaded immediately. On the screen an electronic Post-it
waited. It read:

I thought I would take
care of this for you.

I’m sure you’ll find
the computer adequate.

—
Luke

I looked at the business card Luke had given me
previously.
Luke Hall.
I stared at his last name. Somehow it
felt right.

I opened up the browser and Yahoo automatically
loaded for me to sign in. I couldn’t come up with a subject line. I
typed in “I’m sorry” and erased it. Then “My Reaction” and erased
that. Then I wrote “FUCK it!” I finally settled on “This
morning ….”

To:
[email protected]

From:
[email protected]

Subject: This morning
….

Luke,

Thank you very much for
rescuing me from having to choose the right laptop. It was very
thoughtful of you to do that.

I hope you’re having a
safe flight. I don’t know what time you’ll be arriving but I wanted
you to know that I’m truly sorry that I used your computer without
checking with you first. I hope you take the time to read what I
wrote anyway.

Please email me the
story I wrote on your computer when you get a chance.

Hope you’re not still
mad.

Love,

Jane

* * * *

Monday night and all day Tuesday he sent me nothing.
I checked my email obsessively. I even checked it whenever I woke
up to pee in the middle of the night. Wednesday I checked it at
least twenty-five times, even at work. Those three days crept by
very slowly. During that same time the apartment phone rang
incessantly. I finally figured out how to turn the ringer off in
the living room but I could still hear it through the second
bedroom door.

Wednesday night the email finally arrived. I didn’t
open it right away; I was too filled with apprehension. I just
stared at it, as if it would open on its own. I took a deep breath
and finally double clicked on the email.

To:
[email protected]

From:
[email protected]

Subject: Re: This
morning ….

Apology accepted. I’m
no longer mad and won’t be the least bit disappointed after I
discipline you. I have been thinking there is something you could
do while I’m gone to make it up to me. Let me think about it a
little more.

Expect an email from me
tomorrow.

—
Luke

I once again felt dismissed—the way I had after he
evicted me from his work room. I figured he didn’t expect me to
email him back but I just couldn’t hold it back anymore.

To:
[email protected]

From:
[email protected]

Subject: re: re: This
morning ….

Luke,

I find your mood swings
incredibly hard to handle and you pissed me off with your immature
behavior. You could have made this time apart much easier to bear
but instead you made it as hard as possible. And on top of it
all
,
you made me wait
two lousy days for that short meaningless email of yours. No ‘I
love you’ in there ….

Of course I deleted that email and never sent it. It
felt good to write it, though. I decided not to write him back and
see what he sent tomorrow. Even though I knew he wouldn’t write
again that day, I still couldn’t help checking my email another
twenty times before I fell asleep.

* * * *

The moment I woke up Thursday morning I turned on the
computer that I had left beside the bed. Sure enough, I found an
email waiting for me.

To:
[email protected]

From:
[email protected]

Subject: Your task if
you should so choose

Jane,

I thought I would have
heard back from you again. Hope you’re busy seeing all of your
friends and family while I’m gone. I’ll want you all to myself when
I’m home again. I miss having your body to please and play with. I
will DEVOUR you when I get back. Count on it.

So … some choices for
you to make; you can wait until I get home at which time I will use
the paddle you called the spatula on you to make my point, or you
can give a hand job to the cretin who brought my flowers to your
office. What did you tell me his name was …?

Pierce,
I thought. He offered no real choice …
worse and worst. He had drawn a line in the sand and if I crossed
that line I truly would be handing my body over to him. Pierce was
an idiot and the idea that I could touch him in any way seemed
impossible. Nevertheless, I knew I couldn’t survive the paddle. He
hadn’t even said how many strikes. Ten and then twenty …. Were we
up to thirty?

A wave of anxiety washed over me as the realization
that today was Thursday. I had very little time to decide. If I
waited until Sunday, my decision would be made by default. I
continued to read:

…
Prince or something, as I recall. So,
either have Prince’s cum in a condom for me on Sunday or have
yourself ready for discipline
.

Here’s a third option,
because I’m feeling generous. Go to Pandora’s Box on Dania Beach
Boulevard and US1 and buy an anal plug called the Tulip. Wear it to
work on Friday under one of your new outfits—no underwear. Make
sure you bring your laptop. You may close your office door but it
must be unlocked. Use the webcam on your computer to record
yourself masturbating. If someone comes into your office, do not
stop. Your desk should provide ample coverage. I want to see you
cum, babe, and make it good. If you choose this option, email me
the video so I can watch it here.

Decisions, decisions ….
What will you decide?

The trip is going
really well and I have many new ideas I would like to try out with
you. How would you feel about being my subject? I am hard just
thinking about it.

I would love to hear
about your week. Write to me.

Loving you,

—
Luke

Door #1, the spatula, was out of the question. I knew
I wouldn’t be able to survive the paddle with the holes in it. Not
being an expert on all things painful, I could still tell that the
much thicker wooden paddle would hurt more than the others and in
my imagination the holes could only make it easier to swing harder
and faster. Behind Door #2, Pierce. Oh god, no way was I going to
subject myself to those images for the rest of my life.

Door #3 had to be the answer but what if someone
walked into my office? Like my boss? I felt ambiguous, but only for
a moment. I had one day to plan it all out. I had to figure out how
to use the webcam; I’d never used one before. I decided to run at
the beach after work and swing by Pandora’s Box on the way back to
pick up the Tulip plug.

I had to admit, Door #3 had its appeal. As I dressed
for work, my body grew so stimulated by the idea of what I had to
do the next day that I fell back onto the bed, lifted my skirt, and
took care of myself.

* * * *

It was great to be at the beach running. It made me
feel like my old self again. I pushed myself to run a bit faster
than usual and reveled in the power of my strong body. My running
had countered Luke’s attempts to fatten me up. If I gave in, quit
my job, and spent all my time with Luke, I’d no doubt fatten up in
no time. The man liked to eat.

Eating
, I thought. As I continued down the
boardwalk, I fantasized about Luke tying me up and going down on me
again. Oblivious to my surroundings, I was shocked when a voice
woke me from my dream world.

“
Jane?” It was Scott. Running in the other
direction, he’d stopped and called out to me.

“
Hi,” I said. I walked over to him, not really
wanting to talk but not wanting to be rude, either.

“
I haven’t seen you around in a while,” he
said. He had his hands on his hips and leaned forward to catch his
breath.

“
I’ve been busy,” I said. I bent over to
stretch my hamstrings.

“
Want to come by my place?” he asked. He gave
me a onceover, scrunching his eyebrows, and said, “You look
different.”

“
I do?” I said, bringing my stationary jog to a
halt.

“
Yes, you do. Happy. That’s it, you look happy.
I don’t think I ever seen you happy before.”

That made me laugh. “What are you talking about? I’m
happy all the time.”

“
Really, I never got that impression from you.
Anyway, it’s good to see you.”

“
Well, it was good to see you, Scott. I have
some errands to run after I’m done here. See you around.” I didn’t
wait for a response. I took off running in the opposite direction
and headed back to my car to stretch.

That was awkward
, I thought. I wondered if
everyone could see my unhappiness. I thought I had hidden it so
well. I wondered if Luke had cured my sadness. It did seem so.

* * * *

When I arrived at Pandora’s Box, I became incredibly
self-conscious. I sat in the car for a few minutes, summoning the
nerve to go into the store. I entered with as much nonchalance as I
could muster, meandering about. Then I noticed an attractive,
long-haired young guy sitting behind the counter.

“
Oh,” I said, smiling at him.

He smiled back. “Can I help you with anything?”

“
Yes, actually … I need to buy ….” I hesitated.
Blushing, I stepped forward to whisper it to him.

“
The store is empty other than us, so you don’t
have to worry,” he said, coming around the counter to stand in
front of me. “Besides, you won’t get any judgments from me. This is
my store and I’m very fond of many of the toys myself.” He picked
up a large black vibrator. “I’m assuming you want to buy a toy for
yourself?”

“
Uh … well … yes,” I said, giggling
nervously.

He walked closer and I could see that his curly brown
hair made it halfway down his back. His hazel eyes looked friendly
and the scruffy growth on his chin reminded me of the skateboard
guys in my high school, although I guessed him to be in his late
twenties.

“
Something in particular?” he asked, sweeping
his hand around at all the objects on display.

“
Do you have the Tulip Butt Plug?” I said,
casting my eyes to the ground.

“
Yes, and I highly recommend it,” he said,
walking between the stack of shelves lining the large
store.

I followed behind him. “I never realized ….” I
said, taking in all the toys and vibrators that filled every
available spot on the shelves.

I spotted a huge tan dildo that had to be fourteen
inches long and wider than my forearm. I picked it up, turned
toward the store owner, and said, “This is a joke, right? A gag
gift?”

“
You’d be surprised,” he said, winking at
me.

“
No way,” I said, putting the huge phallus back
on the shelf and wrinkling my nose.

“
Small or large?” he said as he stopped in
front of the display of anal plugs.

“
Oh, he didn’t say.” I shrugged.

“
Small then, I would think.”

“
Right, okay.”

“
Pink, purple or black,”

I laughed nervously. “Purple, I guess.”

“
Do you know how to use it?” he asked. He
pulled a box off the shelf in front of us and handed it to
me.

“
Is there a trick to it?” I said, chuckling,
trying to hide my embarrassment.

“
Lube makes a big difference.”

“
Oh, lube? Should I get some of that?” I
scanned the different shelves for the section that held the
lube.

“
What do you usually use?” he asked to my
back.

“
Lube? I don’t …. This is all new to me,” I
said, turning back around to face him.

“
Oh, I see. I think I’m getting the picture. I
personally prefer a light virgin olive oil or almond oil to
anything else, but we have many different kinds of lube, some with
fragrance and some without.”

“
Will it be hard to get in?” I asked, feeling
very nervous and very much out of my league.

“
It’s fairly small, so I wouldn’t think so. I
do recommend you loosen the area first and lube it well. Also, make
sure you clean the plug with soap and warm water before you use it
and after. Will you be wearing it for a while?”