My Body-His (27 page)

“
The kitchen is way bigger than we need,” I
said, thinking how we could both fit into the huge almond tub.
“Actually, the whole place is larger than we need, but I love
it.”

“
You could use the third bedroom as your
office. Set up a place to write and make it your own.”

“
My head is spinning, Luke.”

“
It’s a lot to take in. I know. We wouldn’t get
this place right away.”

“
I see,” I said. I couldn’t imagine that he
made all his money from the website I had seen. I was baffled by
the luxury of what he was offering. It wasn’t the house, really,
but the freedom from work and bills and the ability to pursue my
dream of writing.

“
I need the extra space,” Luke said, “and I’d
like to consolidate my things. I still have art supplies at the
house and some furniture. The second bedroom could serve as office
space and a studio. There are other places we can check out,
though. We don’t need to decide right now. This one isn’t on the
market yet, but I’ve been promised first consideration.”

“
Luke, I love it and you should know I’d live
with you anywhere. This place is perfect.”

“
Then consider it done,” he said. He hugged me
to him, lifting me off of the ground. I wrapped my legs around his
waist and kissed him all over his face. He laughed and laughed as
he spun me around. “This is going to be great, Jane.
We’re
going to be great.”

I lowered my legs and stepped back. “I’d like to give
you something if you’ll let me,” I said. I blushed from head to
toe.

“
What, my love?” he said. “What makes you blush
so adorably?”

I leaned forward and went up on my toes to whisper in
his ear. “Please allow me to pleasure you.” Just the thought turned
me on and I became less inhibited. “I want your cock in my mouth,”
I said, looking directly into his eyes.

“
My way,” he said. “My cock hasn’t yet been
past those beautifully full lips of yours and it’s definitely the
time; the perfect way to commemorate the occasion.”

Luke walked outside and came back with his belt. His
rigid cock signaled his interest. He put a cushion from the couch
on the tile floor. “Kneel,” he said.

He belted my wrists together behind me, walked back
outside and returned with the camera. After taking a few shots of
me, he pulled a side table next to us and rested the camera
there.

He stepped toward me and I opened my mouth for him.
This version of giving Luke pleasure contrasted greatly with my
very vanilla vision of a blowjob. Instead I worked hard to use my
tongue and suck as he controlled his very thick and hard cock. He
leaned forward, pushing his entire shaft into my mouth and down my
throat. I couldn’t breathe until he pulled back out. I tried to
stay relaxed so I wouldn’t gag but the in and out of his pushing
against my throat made it impossible. Tears poured down my cheeks
as I struggled to catch my breath between thrusts. Each time I
gagged, he would pull out just enough for a breath and then proceed
to fuck my mouth.

He picked up the camera and photographed his cock
going in and out. “Beautiful,” he said.

He rewarded my efforts by shooting his load of cum
deep down my throat, and I managed to swallow all of it. As he
pulled out, he wiped his cock down the corner of my mouth.

“
Don’t move,” he said as he shot several more
frames of me on my knees with my arms bound behind me. “It’s time
for me to take care of the business our young friend couldn’t
handle.”

He helped me to my feet and guided me back outside,
where he seated me in the chair near the beach. My arms were still
fastened behind my back. Luke moved my hips forward, straining my
shoulders.

“
You’re so wet, Janey. You thought you didn’t
care for my idea of a blowjob? But look at you, love, your body
knows what you need, just as I do. I’m exactly what you need.
Hmmm,” he said as he lowered his head and devoured me.

When I came I screamed with abandon, not caring if
the beachgoers could hear my shouts of pleasure and release. I
collapsed against the back of the chair with my eyes closed,
relishing the warmth of the sun on my face and the coolness of the
breeze in my hair.

I heard the whiz of Luke’s digital camera and
remembered the website. I had to tell him I’d found it. I even
wanted to tell him about my exploration of the office but I knew he
would not forgive me. He probably wouldn’t want to marry me
anymore, and I couldn’t risk that.

“
Luke, I need to tell you something,” I said as
I opened my eyes.

He stood in front of me, just watching. He had such a
look of love on his face that I was crushed by guilt.

“
Are you okay?” he said. He unbuckled the belt
and released my arms.

“
I went on your website,” I blurted out. I
stretched my arms out in front of me to lessen the tightness but
also to provide distraction.

“
And what did you think? The shots of you came
out well, didn’t they? I’m excited to see how the photos we took
today will turn out. You can help me decide which ones we will
upload if you’d like.”

“
Wow, that’s not what I was expecting,” I
said.

“
What were you expecting?” he said. He looked
puzzled.

“
I thought you would be mad at me for going on
the site without asking you.”

“
I see,” he said. He walked to the opening in
the bushes and stood gazing out at the ocean.

My hearted pounded in my chest as I waited for him to
acknowledge me again.

“
I gave you my card with the website on it, so
I don’t have an issue with you exploring it. What bothers me is
that you would do it thinking I wouldn’t want you to. This type of
relationship requires a huge amount of trust and I’m not sure
you’re up to it.”

“
Luke, I’m sorry, you’re right. I am up for it.
I want this, all of it. It was when the phone kept ringing and I
wanted to reach you. Please don’t be upset with me.” I hated
begging but I didn’t want him to give up on me. My heart hurt
because I wanted to come clean about the office but could not. I
wanted to start our marriage out right. The guilt weighed
heavily.

“
I need to be able to trust you and you me or
this will not work.”

“
You can … I do. I promise to discuss anything
that comes up in the future.”

“
Why do I feel there’s more? Is there something
else you need to tell me?”

I swallowed like there was a lump in my throat. “No,
nothing,” I said.

“
Are you sure? Because this would be the time
to start with a clean slate.”

“
That was it, Luke.”

“
Okay,” he said. He stood looking out at the
ocean for a while longer and turned back to me. “We have a lot of
planning to do, and I have phone calls to make. Let’s get dressed
and head home.”

My first task at work on Monday had me locating my
replacement as the personnel coordinator. I walked down the hall
around the cubicles to Allison’s office.

“
Want my job?” I said, barging through her
door.

“
Your job? You’re kidding, right?”

“
It’s a yes or no question,” I said, smiling at
her.

“
You’re serious,” she said. She stared at me
with her eyebrows raised. “You’re leaving?”

“
I gave notice on Friday and need to hire
someone to take over. Interested?”

“
I’m interested in knowing what the hell is
going on. Then I’ll think about the job.” She pushed her hair
behind her right ear and looked directly at me.

“
I’m getting married.”

“
WHAT?”

“
Well, that’s not why I gave notice. The
proposal came after that or because of that or well … who cares?
I’m getting married!” I said. I laughed and stared back at
her.

“
When?”

“
Would you believe me if I told you I’m getting
married before you?”

“
Do you know what you’re doing? I mean I’m
happy if you’re happy, but Jane, you haven’t known him that
long.”

“
That’s true, but how long should it
take?”

“
I don’t know. I really don’t know.” Allison
stood up, leaned down and placed her hands on top of the desk.
Looking me squarely in the eye, she said, “You seem happy. Just
tell me you’re sure and I’ll be there …. Tell me when and
where.”

“
I’m sure, and thank you,” I said. I went
around the desk and gave her a big hug. I knew she would be the
easiest of the bunch to tell. “And the job, do you want
it?”

“
I have to think about it and talk it over with
Rick. I like my job okay and would love the extra money but I’m not
sure about the added stress. My job’s a piece of cake. Can I let
you know tomorrow?”

“
First thing if you can because if it’s not
you, I need to dig out the files.”

“
I’ll come by your office tomorrow to let you
know, and thanks for thinking of me.” She sat down at her desk and
as I headed for the door, I heard her say, “Wow, she’s getting
married.”

* * * *

I called Sandy on my lunch break.

“
I have some news,” I said.

“
Give me a sec,” she said. I could hear
rustling and a door shutting. “Back, so tell me.”

“
Well I’ve given notice at my job—”

“
Wow, what will you do instead?”

“
I’m going to try my hand at writing a
novel.”

“
And Luke’s okay with this?”

“
It was his idea. He’s wanted me to quit my
job.”

“
Oh, I see. Well you must be excited. I don’t
know what I would do with all that time on my hands but I’m sure
you’ll be able to handle it.”

“
There’s more—”

“
More … well spit it out.”

“
Stop talking and I will,” I said,
chuckling.

“
Me stop talking? That’ll never happen. I’ll
try holding my breath.” Sandy laughed and I could hear her taking
in a huge intake of air. She spit the air out and
giggled.

“
I’m getting married,” I said.

“
Get the fuck out of town. Really?”

I laughed hysterically at her response. “Yes,
really.”

“
Wow, Jane, when you do it, you do it fast. I
thought Luke was just great. I’m very excited for you.”

“
You’re not going to tell me to slow down and
be careful and all that?”

“
I think you have Parker for that,” she
said.

“
Right,” I said, giggling.

“
Have you told her yet?”

“
No. We were supposed to meet for dinner
tomorrow but she left me a message that we need to reschedule. I’ll
try to reach her later.”

“
Well, give her my love. I have to get back to
the grind. I’m so happy for you. Jason will be thrilled, too. Oh,
and ask Luke about all of us getting together.”

“
Will do.”

* * * *

I thought about calling my mother. I weighed calling
my father but I couldn’t have them both at the wedding, and I owed
it to my mother to include her. Would Luke agree to call Mom? I
knew I was being a chicken shit but I didn’t want to have to
explain to her that her idea of a huge wedding would never happen.
And so that day I called neither.

I bought a wedding magazine on the way home from
work. I was finally buying one for my own actual wedding with
excitement and confidence. “No bag needed!” I told the saleswoman.
I wanted to flash it around as I walked back to my car. I hoped my
dream dress lay between the covers of the magazine.

I undressed by the door and sensed the emptiness of
Luke’s absence. I happily plopped down on the couch and flipped
through the pages and pages of wedding dresses. I couldn’t decide
what kind of gown interested me. Would the wedding be by the pool
or on the beach? I liked the idea of a simple ivory dress with a
slight train trailing behind me as I walked barefoot on the
sand.

Toward the middle of the thick magazine I found a
dress with a halter top that wrapped around the neck of the model.
It had no bustle and flowed nicely to the ground. I folded the
corners of pages to mark the few others that interested me. I could
not wait to show Luke.

Luke had said we’d go ring shopping that day so I
soon became annoyed by his continued absence and my growing
hunger.

I was still browsing the magazine when the door
finally opened.

“
Hey, babe,” Luke said as he strolled into our
place.

“
Hi,” I said and stood.

We walked toward each other and embraced. He lifted
me off my feet and placed me back down. Smacking my butt, he said,
“So is Allison going to take your job?”

“
She’s letting me know tomorrow. It’s a
considerable jump in income so I imagine she’ll say yes. She’s used
to not having to do too much at her current job so she’s not too
keen on the added stress.”

“
I see.”

“
I’m starving,” I said, moving back to the
couch. I picked up the magazine and turned the pages until I found
the dress that I liked best. “What do you think?”