My Chance (Chance #2)
Read My Chance (Chance #2) Online
Authors: Joanne Schwehm
Tags: #FICTION > Romance > General and FICTION > Literary
Copyright © 2014 by Joanne Schwehm
**All Rights Reserved**
No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form by any means, including photocopying, recording or by information storage and retrieval system without the written permission of the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locations is entirely coincidental.
Credits:
Cover Model: Erik Fellows, Actor
Cover Art by Kellie Dennis at Book Cover by Design
Cover Photographer: © Lia Politi
Editor: Cassie Cox
Proofreader: Elizabeth Himes
Interior Designer: Jovana Shirley,
Unforeseen Editing
This is dedicated to my family.
Thank you for your patience and support.
When that unexpected chance comes, take it.
Don’t let it pass you by.
You never know what you could be missing.
This is My Chance.
I found enough air to barely speak one word: Alex.
“Yes,” he said.
I couldn’t believe this. I stood there trying to sort things out in my mind, which was currently on overload.
“Aubrey? Please say something. Talk to me. Let me know you understand.” Alex sounded worried.
I tilted my head, trying to comprehend the situation. “It’s you? You’re Chance? You’ve been with me all this time?” I didn’t understand what was happening. I tried to move, but I couldn’t. My feet felt as though they were in cement. I couldn’t breathe. I pictured an airplane oxygen mask falling from the ceiling, but I couldn’t reach it. I’d come to Chance’s apartment for dinner, but instead I found out that Chance was my ex-boyfriend Alex. How did I miss that? Not to mention all the time we’d spent together while I’d been in Paris. I felt as if I was having an out of body experience.
He took my shaking hand, and I didn’t pull it away. I was stunned and confused. He pulled me close, and I felt his breath on my ear. My heart raced. Alex was so close. I felt his five o’clock shadow on my cheek and his hand in my hair, making my skin prickle.
He whispered, “Baby, it’s me. It has always been me. I’m sorry. Please don’t be upset. I needed to be with you.”
His scent was different: no orchids. I knew the smell of his skin, the taste of his pores, the essence of Alex. Memories flooded my brain like a movie of our past, played out with an unknown ending. I moved back, praying I wouldn’t stumble. I was unfamiliar with my surroundings, so I didn’t move far. I squeezed my eyelids closed and prayed that when I opened them, I’d see what the hell was happening. But I opened them to darkness.
Damn it!
I heard him breathing. Was the music still playing? I felt as if I was in a tunnel. I heard my pulse beating in my ears.
“Please say something, Aubrey.”
I felt his hand on my arm. My hairs stood up, and a chill ran through me. I stood there motionless. How could I not have known? Tears ran down my cheeks, but I didn’t bother swiping them away. I knew more would follow, and I let them fall.
“Your accent and voice… They were so different.” I shook my head, trying to make sense of it all. “You misled me. You sent me text messages when I was with Chance! Why would you do that? You knew I couldn’t see, and you tricked me!” The more I thought about it, the more pissed off I got.
“I told you why. I needed to be with you, to make sure you were okay. I didn’t intend to come up with a different name, but when I saw you in the café, I panicked. I sent you the texts to see your reaction to me; not Chance, but me. The way you looked when you talked about me. I’m sorry. I didn’t know what else to do.”
“You could’ve told me the truth instead of deceiving me.”
He exhaled in a huff. “Really? I could’ve? What would you have done? Would you have run away, hit me, told me to go to hell?”
I shook my head, and more tears fell. “I don’t know.” I rubbed my temples.
He moved his hands up and down my arms, caressing them. “When I saw you, your face was peaceful. I couldn’t bring myself to tell you it was me. I was afraid you’d get upset and leave. I needed to make you want me again. Do you know how nervous I was when you talked about me? I saw it in your eyes; you still love me. I was scared of killing that.”
He was scared? Well, I was petrified. Without him, I felt as if a piece of me was missing. I closed my eyes, took deep breaths, and tried to relax. I opened my eyes, and his shadow came into view. I extended my arm until my hand rested on his chest. I needed to touch him, to know that he was really Alex. My mind went through my time with Chance like a film, frame by frame, shot by shot. I waited for something to click. Nothing, nothing hinted that he was Alex. I’d touched Chance, kissed Chance, and I didn’t know.
His chest rose and fell as though he was taking deep breaths. I brought both my hands to his face, and he lowered his head to give me better access. I ran my thumbs over his eyebrows, and my fingers traced his forehead. I ran my hands down his strong jawline to his collarbone. That was how I saw things, by touching. My hands were my eyes. I ran my palms down his pecs to his abs, which I felt through his soft knit shirt. I traced the muscles to his magnificent hips and found the V that I loved so much. He was definitely Alex. My hands roamed all over him, and he never moved.
I stopped. I couldn’t go any further. I returned my hands to my sides.
“Talk to me. Please, say anything. Just say something.” He sounded hurt, or maybe that was fear in his voice.
I barely whispered, “I want to see you, but I can’t. I want to extinguish this pain in my heart, but I can’t. I want you, I want us. But I can’t.” My chest hurt, and I tried to control my breathing.
I dropped my head. All of the shadows were gone. I felt his hands in my hair. He tilted up my head.
“I love you so much. Please try to forgive me,” he said. “I’m not asking you to forget, although I wish you would. I wish I could. Just be with me. Please, Aubrey, come back to me... to us. I’d follow you to the end of the earth. Please be mine again. I need you; I need us.”
His lips were so close. I felt them brush mine like a feather. His nose grazed mine. His words still affected me. I wanted him so badly I couldn’t breathe. I missed him. Maybe I could be with him one more time and then say good-bye. I needed to feel him inside me.
I hadn’t been the same since I left New York, as if a part of me was still there. That was probably why I couldn’t let myself be with Chance. I shook my head. Alex was Chance. He’d talked to me about the clouds, described people to me, and read to me. I needed him, just one more time.
My head spun, but one thing was certain: I wanted Alex. Maybe not forever, but for the moment. It was more a “need” than a “want.”
My hands rested on his trim waist. I felt for his belt buckle and opened it. I moved my fingers under his waistband, and I felt him. He was ready. I unfastened the button on his pants and felt for the bottom of his shirt. I was thankful the shirt didn’t have buttons. I pulled his shirt up and off of him and brought my lips to his chest. I kissed him, slipping my tongue out to taste his skin. He didn’t help me with his pants or shirt; I did it on my own. I loved him for that. He was letting me be independent.
His hands went to my hips. “You’re so beautiful. I’ve dreamt of this moment ever since I lost you. For weeks, I’ve prayed for this moment. Every day, I wanted to touch you”—his hands moved to my face—”to kiss you”—his lips grazed mine—”to love you again. Let me love you. I need us. Do you know how hard it was when we were together? Every time I saw you, I wanted you. Every damn time.”
His voice penetrated my soul. But even if we had only one night, it was my night on my terms. “I want you too. I need to feel you inside me. I want your arms wrapped around me.”
I slid my hands to his back and followed them. I raised my hand to his left shoulder blade and kissed his tattoo. He turned around and grabbed me so tightly I thought my ribs would crack. The next thing I knew, my dress was off, and my legs were wrapped around his waist. He walked with me in his arms as he kissed my cheeks, my lips, my chest, and back to my lips.
He set me down on what must have been his bed, and I felt the mattress dip. He lay beside me and trailed his fingers up and down my stomach. I flinched. I’d heard about having sex while blindfolded, but I’d never thought of doing it. I had no choice anymore.
He kissed my cheek. “I love you, Aubrey. I never stopped; I never will. You’re my one and only; no one or anything else. I’d give up my life for you.”
I couldn’t speak. I didn’t want to encourage him or reciprocate his feelings. It killed me, but I kept silent. He pulled down my thong, and I reached for his boxers. All I felt was skin and his great ass. He must have shed his boxers already. His hands traced my thigh, and my legs instinctively parted, giving him access.
His fingers rubbed me. I missed that feeling, I missed feeling him. He slid in one finger and then two. He circled them, stimulating parts that had missed him. I didn’t realize how much until I felt my body come to life. I felt myself clenching around him, pulsing, and becoming damper.
He kissed me hard. Our need was evident. His tongue mirrored his fingers’ movement. He trailed kisses down my neck, and I heard him sigh.