Read My Date From Hell Online

Authors: Tellulah Darling

Tags: #goddess, #Young Adult, #Love, #YA romantic comedy, #teen fantasy romance, #comedy, #YA greek mythology

My Date From Hell (6 page)

BOOK: My Date From Hell
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Her expression softened for a second. Glowed. And not from the computer.

Gawd. This girl had it bad. “That bites as an idea.”

“Don’t be such a stick-in-the-mud,” Hannah said.

“A mud-dweller,” Theo added.

“A mean mudder,” Hannah riffed.

“A mudder


I cut Theo off. “Thank you. Yes. I get it.” I pointed at Pierce. “Okay, Blondie, explain this plan of yours.”

“Bethany tapped into Aphrodite’s wrath vein with the threat of her massive popularity,” Pierce said, slowly spinning the chair from side to side. “Lady A gave me my orders go all Double-oh-seven and swoop in with my love gadgets. You’re not the only female who wants Bethany to go down.”

“Pierce is going to make Bethany fall in love with someone horrible, who will make her pine with unrequited love,” Hannah set aside the laptop and rose from the bed. She had her hand on the latch to open the window when I cut her off.

“It’s cold,” I complained. “I’m dying of hyperthermia.”

“You mean
hypothermia
, kitten,” Hannah corrected. “And you’re not.”

“Then I’m dying of ‘poor Sophie, her dad was really mean to her,’” I whined. “Can I have some of your stash?”

Hannah rolled her eyes but crossed over to her desk and pulled a bag of M&Ms from her drawer. “I’m gonna hurt you for getting outside the wards. You’ll wake up one fine morning and bam! Poison dart frog in your bed. Payback for all the stress you cause me.”

“Yeah, yeah, get in line.” I held out my hand and beckoned. She came to sit beside me so we could share.

“Now,” I said, munching on pieces of chocolate joy, “explain how is this a plan?”

Pierce smiled. “Being shot by one of my gold arrows is a rather intense experience. Somewhat akin to having an anvil dropped on you. Not particularly problematic when it’s two-way. But shooting Bethany without the requisite mate? Bloody awful. Especially when I hit whoever he is with a
lead
arrow. Normally, I’d use those to undo the love. But in this case, it will just make him repulsed by her.”

“Counteract Bethany’s amped-up charm,” Hannah said.

Piece stopped the chair by propping one foot on Hannah’s bed frame.“Leaving Bethany consumed with this guy and his lack of affection. Instead of her fame.”

“Now you’re talking. Will she go mad?” I asked hopefully.

Pierce shook his head. “Nah. The effects won’t last long enough to drive her barmy.”

“But they will last long enough to counteract Bethany’s mojo on the masses and not make her worth Jack’s time,” Theo added.

Pierce threw me an evil grin. “Does a number in the looks department, too. Misery’s a bitch on skin.”

Hannah fluttered her eyelashes at him like he was brilliant.

“Focus, Nygard,” I warned, smothering a yawn. “We need a horrible guy.”

“Too bad we don’t know where Kai is,” Theo muttered.

“You are NOT having Bethany fall in love with him,” I said.

Theo patted my feet. “Just more layers of everything being brilliantly messed up.”

I elbowed him.

“Careful!” Hannah squealed, as Theo grabbed her for balance. She scrambled to catch candy that had flown from the bag.

“Besides, Pierce is going to have me fall in love with Kai. For the ritual.” I caught a couple of pieces as they rolled off my bed.

Pierce snatched a candy away from Hannah and popped it in his mouth. “A ritual like this one, you want the feelings to be organic.”

“Actually,” Theo began, “that might be the best solution after all. Stab them just before the ritual with your gold arrows then undo it as soon as we’ve won with your lead ones.”

“That’s even better,” I enthused. Minimum love exposure to Kai equaled maximum emotional safety for me.

“Are you even listening to yourselves?” Pierce asked.

“It’s brilliant,” Theo retorted. “Sophie doesn’t even have to see Kai until ten minutes before the appointed time. Better for everyone.”

“I don’t know if I’d go that far,” I muttered.

“Even I’m uncomfortable with how mercenary you’re both being about love,” Hannah said.

“Also, I didn’t agree to help you with your Olympian coup,” said Pierce.

“Let’s table this until after we’ve dealt with Bethany.” I winked at Theo and he nodded back. Between us we’d work on Pierce and get him to help. Then I’d be able to save the world and not find myself emotionally devastated. Especially if Pierce could undo the love as soon as we’d won. I’d barely even notice it had been a thing. Definitely the best way.

Because let’s face it, even if I did fall in love with Kai, which was impossible, knowing I rated second-best would hurt. Although, yes, there would be meltiness having someone look at me like I was the center of their universe. It might make me all warm, having them light up because I had entered a room. Kai turning his deep brown eyes and wolfish grin on me when it wasn’t just about whacked out chemistry but actual love, could rock my world.

And break my heart.

“What are you doing?”

Theo’s voice startled me. I realized that I’d slid myself completely into my cocoon, face covered, my fists bunched in the material.

I wiggled back out, flushed. “Nothing.” This was the most practical solution. I was sure Kai would feel the same. I snatched the candy package away from Hannah. “There are a few imminent to-dos on the table. We have to help Pierce stop Bethany. Find him candidates.”

“Already started,” Hannah said.

“Then we have to find and ward the location before spring equinox. That’s when this all goes down.”

“Equinox, huh?” Theo looked thoughtful. “Remember Kai once said you weren’t supposed to be in Hades the night you were killed? You were supposed to be on Earth? That was the night before the equinox. Means Kai and Persephone were about to try this ritual before.”

“And that might be what got her killed.” Hannah nodded decisively. She pointed at Theo. “Time to go make yourself useful and figure out the warding …” She trailed off because Pierce had gotten all up in her space and gazed at her, enthralled. He leaned in to her, as if to inhale her scent, then trailed a finger along her jaw.

Hannah scrambled off the other side of the bed from him. “Okay. Sophie needs to sleep. Reconvene later. Everyone out.” She became very busy organizing the books on the shelf beside her bed.

I grabbed Theo’s shirt before he stood up and pulled him in to ask quietly, “Why doesn’t he just shoot her with one of his arrows and cement the deal?”

“Can’t use the arrows for self-interest.” He smiled in wicked delight. “Got to struggle through like the rest of us schmucks.”

“I heard that, you wanker,” Pierce muttered as he passed by.

The boys left, shutting the door behind them.

I tossed an M&M at Hannah to get her attention, bestowing a wicked grin on her when she turned. Time to torture my best friend. “What’s the deal with Pierce?”

She shrugged, sat down on her bed, and picked up her laptop. “I’m not sure I trust him. He’s too pretty.”

“You’re too pretty, too.”

“Nope. I’m beautiful. It’s different.”

I could have bugged her about her lack of modesty but I had something far more fun to taunt her with right now. “You
are
the same girl who once told me that there were no fireworks or soulmates. Just chemical compatibility and mutual interests?”

“Yup.”

“So having the ultimate fireworks maker, the dude responsible for earth-shattering kabooms,
the
God of Love, live and in person hitting on you … ?”

“It’s freaking me out,” she squealed. “Shut up!”

I would have laughed but she did look upset. “Hannah, there’s nothing to be wigged about.”

“Yes,” she said looking directly at me, her blond hair falling into her face, “there is. I’m not the girl who ever wanted some fantastical creature to love me.” She swept the offending locks out of the way.

“No,” I agreed. “You’re the girl who demanded proof of their existence and then wanted to dissect them.”

“Exactly. And sometimes …” She flicked her gaze to the door Pierce had just left through. “Sometimes I can pretend he’s just a normal guy. But then the impossibility of it all starts to run through my head.”

My comforter cocoon had loosened so I tucked the corner back under me. “Stop analyzing it. Enjoy the attention, have fun if you feel like it, and don’t let it stress you out.”

“He’s a god,” she mumbled, looking down at her screen.

“True.” I stared thoughtfully up at the ceiling. “But in my limited experience, they act just like guys. Really irritating alpha guys. I say go for it. You’re sixteen. Have fun. You don’t like him, dump him.”

Hannah looked aghast. “Dump the God of Love? What if that curses me or something?”

I tilted my head to look at her, puzzled. “Since when are you superstitious?”

“I’m not! That’s the point.” She’d set down the laptop and hugged her favorite pillow decorated with pictures of sharks, only considered cool by ten-year-old boys and one creature-obsessed teen girl. “This is … outside my realm of experience. I need more data. To get more information on what it’s like to date a god.” She looked at me hopefully.

“Sorry, Pumpkin. I wouldn’t call whatever weird interaction Kai and I had dates.” I flung an arm over my face. “Argh!”

Hannah came over to my bed and tugged my arm off. “Speak.”

“Kai and me needing to be in love is insane. You have to work on Pierce and get him to agree to shoot us. Otherwise, all humanity is going to die. Sorry, but there it is.”

Hannah gave me a measured look. “Methinks the woman doth protest too much.”

“You’ve got to be kidding.”

She shrugged. “For someone who absolutely doesn’t want to fall for him, I think you’re most of the way there already.”

“How many divorces has Felicia had?”

“Excuses. That’s not the same thing.”

My hands were clammy and my heart pounded. “If I ever do fall in love, I want it to be with someone safe. That’s not Kai.” My chest got a little tighter.

Hannah nodded. “Fair enough. But can you turn off what you already feel? Especially after everything that just went down between you two? Because you’re right, Soph. He’s not the jerk we thought.”

I sighed, remembering the wonderful weirdness of warm, pliant Kai.

“He likes you too,” Hannah said.

“Yeah. On some level.”

“Except there’s too much baggage over his ex, right?”

“A whole matching set with carry on,” I replied.

Hannah took my hands in hers. “You’re freaking out because you don’t want to be his second choice love.”

Hearing it said out loud made it sound even more brutal than thinking it in my head. My eyes teared up. “Well, d’uh! It would be horrible. Him loving me out of obligation after learning all the first-hand memories of how he felt about Persephone?”

Hannah pulled me into a hug. “Stupid Kai.” That’s why she was my best friend. She got me. Totally and absolutely.

But I got her, too. I pulled out of her embrace and gave her rueful smile. “Stupid Pierce. I think we’re gonna need more chocolate.”

“Gods, yes,” she said, and went to find sugar to cure all our woes.

Five

After a good night’s rest, a scalding shower, much food, and several cups of adrenaline-surging espresso, I felt a renewed determination to face everything I had to accomplish. It helped that my accelerated healing abilities meant that aside from some stiffness, I was pretty much fine. I stuffed any worry about Kai into a deep hole, put a door and padlock on it, and carried on.

I called a meeting.

Pierce was off somewhere dealing with Bethany issues. While we were waiting for Theo, I checked out Hannah’s attire. “I miss your nerdy science T-shirts. Plus, you’ve been hiding cute tops from me, ya bag.”

Today’s indigo scoop neck, with a cool abstract graphic on it, was the latest example. I so would have borrowed it had I known of its existence. My own purple sweater and A-line skirt with flat brown boots felt a little plain.

“Check out how curvaceous these jeans make my butt look.” She pivoted and did a little booty dance in my direction.

“You could wear a sack and still have a great backside. I hate your genes.” Having a bestie with über-fabulous Swedish DNA rocking the blonde/chesty/leggy triple threat, could be tough at times.

Hannah pouted at me. “With your perfect goddess ringlets and new added height that gets guys noticing you without you looming over them like the freaking Tower of Babel? Boo hoo, babycakes.”

I swiped a light purple gloss onto my lips. “You’re jealous? Of me?” I fluttered my eyelashes at her. “Say it again. This time with more pout.” I was pretty pleased with the fact that since my true goddess identity had resurfaced, I’d gotten really fabulous dark ringlety hair, gorgeous green eyes, and a couple of inches in height. I maintained my high hopes for a jump from B to C cup.

Hannah made a rude gesture my way then swept her hair up into a sexy, messy twist with practiced ease. “No. Not jealous. Objectively observant.”

I grinned.

Hannah poked me in the side. “What bone-headed thing did Theo do after he spirited you away the night of Persephone’s murder? Be specific.” I could tell she wasn’t going to let this go.

The intent scowl on her face made me laugh, half-horrified. “You look evil.”

“I can work with that. Begin.”

Yikes. I began. Rather, I summed up. “Apparently, putting me into human form took dark magic that required a price. His powers.” I still found it horrible to accept that Theo’d given up everything for me, even though he assured me it had been done of his own free will because he believed in humanity and in me. “You need to get the particulars from Theo. I don’t know them.”

I glanced at Hannah, expecting her to say something, and found her frowning. “Sorry.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” she said. There was a knock at the door. Hannah crossed our bedroom to answer it and tossed back at me, “Just don’t screw up.”

No pressure.

As soon as Hannah opened the door and saw Theo, dressed in his usual black, long-sleeved T and baggy black pants, she pulled him into a tight hug.

“You told her,” he said dryly, staring at me from over her shoulder.

“Yup.”

Theo disengaged from her grip. “Don’t worry about it, Saul. I’ll be fine.” He took off his heavy framed black glasses and blew on them to clean them, appearing completely unaffected by this past episode.

Once we were all seated on my bed, I began. “I need the memory spell lifted.”

Theo held his glasses up to the light to check them before putting them back on. “I appreciate that, Magoo, but it’s not that easy. A spell this complex can only be undone by the person who cast it. Or it runs it course and lifts when you’re eighteen like it’s supposed to.”

“We can’t wait for that,” I said.

“Can’t you go find whoever cast it?” Hannah asked.

“Trust me, I’ve tried,” Theo said.

There was a moment of glum silence, which I broke. “Maybe I could blast the memories out. Somehow use my light to free them.”

Theo looked doubtful.

“Got any other ideas?” When he shook his head, I pressed the fingertips of my right hand to the top of my head and the fingertips of my left to the side and sent a small ribbon of light from each hand into my head.

“I’m not sure about this,” Hannah muttered.

I hit a block.

“What?” Theo asked.

“Hang on.” I played around a moment.

“Soph, I don’t think this is a good idea,” Hannah said, concerned. “You might break something.”

“It’s fine. It’s
my
light. What could go wrong?”

Let’s just pause for a moment, to pay tribute to all the extremely dumb people throughout history who ever said that.

… Now back to me.

I blasted myself.

Ten minutes later, I came to.

“Idiot,” Theo said.

“To be fair,” Hannah said, checking my vision for signs of a concussion, “it wasn’t the stupidest idea to not do nothing about it.”

“Thanks for the support.” Still a tad woozy, I laid down to try and reduce the number of bedrooms in my vision from two to one.

“I’m just saying, you didn’t have to try and detonate your head. We could have taken a moment to formulate a plan given the results of the small exploratory probe.” She gathered up her books and waited for me to get my stuff so we could go to class.

I pushed myself off my bed and scooped up my binder and books.

Theo gave a smug smile. “In other words, what I said. Idiot.”

“Pretty much,” Hannah agreed.

My glare was somewhat lame. I couldn’t really argue that fact even though I still thought it had been worth a shot.

Wondering about the
how
of the memories got me thinking about the
who
. Specifically, who knew what. “How come you don’t know any of the plan?” I asked Theo as we headed to Biology, having dropped Hannah at her math class. “Weren’t you close to Persephone?”

He thought it over, shifting his books from one arm to the other as we walked. “We were friendly. Not tight like you and me though. Only she and Kai knew what was going down exactly. I just knew she had a plan that could help humans.” He reached out a hand to stop me. “Soph.” He paused, looked away, and sighed like he was annoyed.

I tensed. “What’s wrong?”

Theo met my gaze. “I know that you feel used by what I did. Strong-arming you into my agenda to save humanity. Not being upfront with you. But I also did it because it was going to save you. Because I honestly believed, and still do, that defeating Hades and Zeus is the only way you’ll get to live. And now that the ‘you’ means Sophie, not just Persephone? Well, I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure that happens.”

Whoa. That was a huge outpouring of emotion for Theo. But I knew he wouldn’t want me to make a huge deal about it, so I just nodded. “I know. I love you too, Rockman.”

He frowned at me and entered the room as the bell rang.

I spent the rest of the day trying to come up with an alternate plan. For the memory retrieval, for possible candidates for Bethany. Anything that felt productive and kept me from worrying about why Kai hadn’t shown up. Since I still needed the numbnuts to defeat Hades and Zeus.

Among other things.

Finally it was time for English, last class of the day. I liked Mr. Locke and knew he wouldn’t be doing anything too challenging our first week back from break. Plus Theo and Hannah would both be there.

I passed Cassie, who I’d always thought of as a kooky loner. My becoming Persephone had triggered her into full-on Oracle mode, resulting in Delphyne kidnapping her for her own nefarious agenda. Turned out that crazy dragon had guarded the original Oracle, Cassandra, an ancestor of Cassie’s, and was desperate for a replacement. We’d been able to save Cassie. The trauma of being new members of the Greek family had bonded us.

She bounded over to me and we hugged. “Theo told me. Glad you’re back in one piece,” she said.

I stepped back and looked her over. “Me too. You look great.” I was happy for her.

She winked. “Ativan.”

I was a little taken aback, given how Delphyne had drugged Cassie with anti-psychotics.

She knew what I was thinking. “Not the same. Just a small hit of anti-anxiety to keep the visions at bay.”

I didn’t share the unease I felt at this. I was all for Cassie being able to cope, but I worried that suppressing that side of herself might just cause it to explode in ways she couldn’t control.

Goddess heal thyself, right?

Her best friend and roommate, Jessica, a tiny Romanian girl, showed up and nudged Cassie along. “We’re gonna be late, Crazy.”

I flinched at that word but Cassie just laughed. “Okay, Psycho.” With a small wave at me, she and Jessica moved off. I stared after them, making a mental note to talk to Cassie a bit more about this, but the bell jarred me from my thoughts.

I scrambled into the classroom just before Mr. Locke shut the door to indicate class had started.

“No lesson plan today,” Mr. Locke told us. “Instead you’re in for a treat.”

Hannah, Theo, and I wedged in together on the comfy sofa (no boring desks in our classes), looked at him expectantly.

“Bethany has kindly agreed to share with us a unique look at uh …”

“Gaia’s hidden treasures,” she finished for him, stepping to the front of the room.

“Of course. Well, we’re all looking forward to this.” He actually looked excited as he pulled down the screen and left her the floor.

Great. Mr. Locke was under her influence as well.

“Namaste,” Bethany said, bowing with hands pressed together. She wore yet another pandafied outfit, this one consisting of black yoga pants and a paprika red baby doll top.

Kill
me now, I scrawled on a note for Hannah and Theo to read.

Bethany clicked on Mr. Locke’s laptop and snapped her fingers. “Lights.”

Four students almost broke their necks rushing to do her bidding and flick the switch.

The first slide, complete with Beyonce soundtrack, showed Bethany being fawned over by an army of hair, wardrobe, and make-up people on a beach. A sliver of turquoise water was visible behind her. “This is Manuel Antonio National Park. In Costa Rica,” she added with an emphatic rolling of her “R”.

Think I preferred having my liver eaten
, Theo wrote.

Brutal
. This from Hannah.

The liver
? I wrote.

No
.
B
.

The photo of Bethany laughing in the open door of a private jet with a tree in the background in which you could just barely make out a monkey, was, she informed us, “Odzala-Kokoua National Park in the Republic of Congo.”

Where we @ for horrible candidates
? Me.

Theo’s response was
Got a shortlist
.
But is anyone truly awful enough
?

“… And this is me with the photographer in a Roman Bath in Algeria. She’s shot all the supermodels and said she’d never seen bone structure like mine,” Bethany said, smugly.

Yeah, reptilian
, Theo wrote.

If pressed, I’d have to say it was a toss up as to which was more painful: being zapped by lightning, manacled in the torture cuffs, or sitting through the rest of that class.

“Enough,” I told Hannah and Theo when class had finally ended. “I can’t handle more of the Bethany show. I won’t be able to control myself.” I glanced around the hallway at all the posters prematurely declaring Bethany Winter Formal Queen. With her enhanced “love me” factor, I guess it would have been pointless for any one else to run.

But if I had my way, the only crown that cow was ever going to wear was the cheap plastic one at the dance. I shuddered at the reach Bethany would have if she ever did get to be some kind of media princess before turning back to my friends. Bethany with that kind of clout? Might as well let Zeus and Hades destroy the world.

I jumped as a hand touched my shoulder. “Good to see you back, Bloom,” Anil Patel said.

I felt bad given how happy he looked to see me. Anil had been a stupid boy who’d taunted me and yes, been taunted back, for most of my life. But when my goddess looks had kicked in, he became Mr. Flirt. He was actually a pretty nice guy and easy on the eyes, with his warm grin, brown skin, and cut bod. Wrestler ears and taped fingers not-withstanding.

While I may have enjoyed the occasional flirt session with Anil, I had zero crush feelings for him. It was more for the joy of getting to act like a normal girl for a few moments. Friendly fun.

Le sigh. He wasn’t Kai. That dummy had ruined me for all other guys.

I smiled at Anil, since my feelings weren’t his fault. “Good to be back.”

Hannah and Theo stepped back to give us privacy, which we didn’t need. But that was my friends for you. Aggravating.

Anil laughed. “Yeah, right. All Bethany all the time. A real treat.”

“You’re not a fan?” I asked, kind of surprised. They ran in the same circles.

“Naw. Doggy style ain’t my thang.” He threw me a lewd wink. Ah. There was the Anil I knew. “Also, she’s full of it. Heard that load of crap about you she fed Doucette. Don’t know why you bolted

” He held up a hand to cut off my stammered excuse. “Don’t care. We all got our stuff to deal with. Just know it wasn’t over her.”

BOOK: My Date From Hell
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