My Dear Sophy (14 page)

“
We shall see...” Sophy turned toward the water and expertly skipped the stone. It hopped along the surface – one... two... three – before it plopped into the water.

Captain Croft was nodding his head. “A valiant effort, I'll agree. But will it be enough to vanquish me?”

“
There is only one way to tell, captain.” Sophy gestured toward the water.

Captain Croft made a big show of winding up, stopping to check his stone, crouching to check his angle, and various other entirely unnecessary preparations. Never once did he crack a smile.

“
I know when I am being roasted, sir. And I refuse to rise to your challenge.” Sophy's eyes flashed and she turned her head as if determined to ignore him. Captain Croft only laughed.

“
Oh, all right. You should watch, as I am about to best you.” He flipped his wrist and the stone flew from his hand. One...two...three...four! He let out a hurrah as Sophy pretended to pout.

“
Merely one round, sir. I challenge you to another!” And so they passed time, trading good-natured barbs and taunts as they traded victories. After an uncountable number of throws, the captain laughingly collapsed on the bank and asked her for a truce.

“
My dear Miss Wentworth, I shall admit that I am matched perfectly by your skill, if
you
will also concede the point. Or, I fear, we may have to remain here for the rest of our lives locked in our epic battle. We should soon fill in the pond with all of our rocks and annoy the wildlife!”

Sophy pretended to seriously consider this point. After a long moment, she spoke. “Very well, I shall concede that we are remarkably well-matched, but I reserve the right to a future challenge!” She sat down on the creek bank next to him as they laughed.

“
Oh, bravo! A brilliant tactician! You have managed to best me and still save my delicate reputation and 'manly pride' into the bargain. A first-rate diplomat.”

“
I have much experience, with two brothers of near the same age. Not to mention all the spats I must manage between the townspeople.”

The captain grew thoughtful. “I have noticed that they do all come to you especially with their stories and complaints.”

Sophy nodded. “It is an inherited position. My dear mother, as doctor's wife, held it before me. Everyone came to her for her carefully considered opinions. My mother and yours were great friends, you know. Together, there was no problem they could not solve.”

“
And now there is no problem
you
cannot solve.”

“
You give me entirely too much credit,” Sophy smiled. “Most times the villagers merely need a sympathetic ear to listen to them. They generally already know the answer to whatever problem they have.”

“
Ah, but do not discount your role as the sympathetic ear. Someone who may be trusted with all of life's problems and joys is quite a rare thing in this world. It is only the best people in our lives that may take that role.”

Sophy's cheeks heated with the praise. She had never met anyone who had observed her so closely and saw to the bottom of things so easily. She felt a mixture of joy at the recognition and exposure of something she herself had not realized. She did not feel entirely comfortable receiving his praise, so she answered him with an observation of her own. “You observe people quite closely, don't you? Even when
you
are speaking, you are also watching, are you not?”

“
Perhaps,” Captain Croft grinned, “like you, that ability is something I have inherited. It has done me much good in my line of work.”

“
How so?” Sophy was curious. She'd heard stories of his adventures and his childhood, but not much about
him
, and she found that she was intrigued by this man before her. Who was he? This man who was as comfortable singing aloud in the woods as being the center of attention in a drawing room. Sophy desired to find him out.

The captain considered her question. “Well, being on a ship puts one in the same company constantly. And we are not always friends to begin with. Or to end with, actually. There are many different personalities, and the smart sailors learn quickly how to read a mood from a twitch of the eye or a motion of the hand or the slur of a word. I have staved off many a bloody nose for myself and my fellow sailors by successfully navigating the turning tide of shipboard humors.”

Sophy had a vivid mental image of the captain diplomatically stepping in to prevent fighting, though sternness did not seem to sit quite comfortably on his shoulders.

“
Navigating humors is a skill that has come in useful as a captain, I must say. Men can become very restless at sea, to put it mildly.”

“
And you?” Sophy asked. “Do you become very restless at sea?”

A crease appeared between his eyebrows as Captain Croft thought carefully about the question. With a slight sigh, he answered. “I do love the naval life very much. I could not imagine myself doing anything else in the world. There is a freedom when you are on the ocean.” He seemed to be looking at something far away. “But yes, as much as I love the seafaring life, I do sometimes get as restless as my men. It is a relief to see family and especially to come home.”

They fell quiet, both occupied with their own thoughts. Sophy was considering how she might be were she on a long sea voyage. “I wonder if I would find myself quite restless in the middle of the ocean... I believe I should like to try it someday.” Captain Croft's delighted laugh carried out across the pond in front of them.

Sophy, a trifle offended, asked, “What? Don't you believe I should? Freddy seems destined for the naval life. Perhaps I shall convince him to take me, too!”

The captain, still laughing, said to her, “I would pay dearly to see the man who would carry you on a long sea voyage!”

“
Now what do you mean by that?” Sophy asked indignantly, turning herself towards him. “Don't ladies travel on ships?” Sophy's dander was up at the idea that the captain thought her ridiculous. She had expressed a very personal wish and here he was laughing at her. She had taken him for a friend and now wondered if she had been mistaken. She was embarrassed at having opened her heart to him.

“
Ladies are not supposed to be on board any of His Majesty's ships of the line, especially during wartime.” The captain spoke quite matter-of-factly, but Sophy was not appeased.

“
They are not
supposed
to be, I notice that you said. But I believe the
practice
might be quite a different matter. Am I correct?”

Sophy saw that hint of mischief again in the captain's eyes. “You are correct. Yes, they are. The captain of the
Baron
– my first ship – had his wife on board much of the time we were at sea. And I know of one first lieutenant who brought his wife aboard.”

“
There,” Sophy pronounced the word decisively, as if it proved her point.

“
Two ships does not an entire navy make,” Captain Croft protested.

“
No,” Sophy conceded, though her attitude toward the captain was still prickly, “but it does show a precedent for such actions. They are not unheard of. Therefore, I may safely follow that mold.”

“
But you are forgetting one major point.” Captain Croft turned directly to look at her.

“
Oh?”

“
Those two ladies I mentioned were
married
women following their husbands.” The captain had emphasized the word as if it held some further significance. Married. Sophy's mind ran to Mr. Hollingson, who had lately come so close to a marriage proposal. She would certainly not be at sea if she married him. But what could the captain mean? He was watching her intently and Sophy felt that she was taking too long to respond. Her face became suddenly hot under his gaze. She had missed something and she did not know what it was. She was ashamed and intrigued all at the same time. It was an entirely new feeling for her and she did not know how to respond.

Sophy did not meet his eyes as she said, as flippantly as she could, “I shall have to marry a navy man, then!”

Her words hung heavy in the air between them with a significance she still could not grasp. While she wallowed in her confusion, Captain Croft spoke next, as if nothing significant had changed by their words. “Then I believe you shall.” The full force of his engaging smile was concentrated on her and the imagined awkwardness of the last few moments was replaced again with her curiosity about this man.

“
Shall
you
ever marry?” She blurted out. Realizing that she had asked something intensely personal, Sophy blushed again. “I'm sorry... I should not be so forward. I am merely curious about a way of life so different from my own. I only wonder how it would be for a Navy man to marry. What would that life be like...” Sophy blundered on, trying to make up for her forwardness even as she asked herself why the captain's plans for matrimony would be of any concern to her. And yet, she wanted to know the answer.

“
Do not worry,” the captain cut into her rambling. “I know that it is a question meant as one friend to another. To answer you... I hardly know. There is not much opportunity for meeting potential wives on board ship. Only the odd officer's wife, but stealing those is a behavior which is
generally
frowned upon.”

“
Generally
?” Sophy hooted with laughter that cleared the air between them. Captain Croft had started the question so seriously and then thrown in that ridiculous notion. “So in some instances it might be quite acceptable to steal another's wife?”

The captain was laughing along with her. “I fear for the fellow who tries it!” For many minutes this absurd picture kept them laughing. When they had sobered a bit, Sophy asked, no longer embarrassed by her curiosity, “So if you did manage to find a wife all your own, would you take her aboard ship with you?”

Captain Croft grew serious. “That would be a two-edged sword, I fear.” He paused. “I would hope to love my wife enough that I should want her by my side at all times. The separations of years-long sea voyages would be too hard a trial for us both, I think. And yet, I would also love her enough to want her somewhere safe on shore, perhaps to take care of our family.” He paused again, his brow furrowed in concentration. “It would be an infinitely hard decision for me to make.”

“
But it seems to me it would not,” Sophy stated.

“
Oh, really?” The captain seemed incredulous. “Please do explain yourself.”

“
Yes, really,” Sophy parroted him. “You have neglected to take into account one major factor.” The captain raised his eyebrows. Sophy raised hers, too. “You have neglected to take into account that your wife – who you profess to love so much – is also a thinking and feeling being. Would you not ask her what
she
desires?” Sophy saw something change in the captain's face, a light appeared there.

“
To be honest, I had not thought of that. Talking of an imaginary wife had me thinking only of myself. And only of
my
wishes.”

“
But of course. It is an entirely human thing to do. We consider ourselves first – our happinesses and wishes – and all else second. Which, I think, is what makes marriage and families so trying sometimes.”

The captain nodded his head in agreement even as a contemplative look stole across his face. It was a moment before he spoke, and when he did his question caught Sophy off her guard.

“
And what about you, Miss Wentworth? If you were married to your navy man who would whisk you away across the ocean, would you go? Dangers and all?”

“
Without hesitation,” Sophy replied without thinking. He looked startled at her swift and decisive answer. Sophy was again embarrassed at her forwardness with this relative stranger. She felt the need to explain. “Is not a woman also allowed to pine for adventure and new sights? To desire escape and travel, especially with someone she loves?”

“
But the risks...” The captain argued. “The risk of disease and battles and attacks and sinking. Would you not be afraid?”

Sophy smiled. “Oh, of course. I would most certainly be afraid. Any one – man or woman – would be.” Sophy paused to gather her thoughts. She had never been asked such questions about herself and was unsure how to answer. “But I am not so fragile as all that. I would have my husband there to share the dangers with me.” The captain smiled as Sophy continued her stuttering explanation. “I would, I think, be more afraid if I were forced to wait on shore for some letter every six months or longer to bring me news of my husband. I do not think I could live a life like that. I would not even consider that a life at all. Constantly waiting for bad news. My imagination could conjure much worse than I could ever encounter aboard a ship.”

“
I believe, my dear Miss Wentworth, that you are braver than any woman I have known.”

“
Then you have not known many women, captain.”