My Deepest Desire (Hidden Desires) (9 page)

Naira sits next to her aunt on the bed.  Dina takes her hand, “I’m so sorry for chasing you away.  Your mother and father left you girls with me and I didn’t take care of you the way I should of.  I thought he loved me, I couldn’t
believe I had married the monster you said he was.”

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not.  None of it is okay.  Maybe if I would’ve dealt with it then everything that’s happening now would have been avoided.  And even though I chased you off you still sent birthday and Christmas cards every year. I’m so proud of who you are.”

Dina starts to cry and Naira’s eyes blur, “Please don’t cry.  If you cry I’m going to cry.”

Dina laughs and tries to stop crying.  She continues, “I know I have no right to ask you this but will you please talk to Agent Kincaid and help him keep Jack from getting away with all the lives he’s ruined and continues to ruin.  He’s stealing the innocence from these kids, you can help.  Please promise me this.

“I promise.”

Imogen returns and the three of them talk until Dina falls asleep again.  Sometime during the night Naira and Imogen fall asleep too.  They are awoken by the screams of the machines in the room.  They jump up and immediately realize that Dina isn’t breathing.  The hospital staff immediately runs in and pushes them out the way to work on her but Naira can tell by the first nurse’s face that Dina is already gone.  After a few minutes the doctor pronounces her dead.

Naira hugs Imogen while she cries.  Zander steps toward them as if to offer comfort but Naira shakes her head no.  Once she calms down some Naira asks Zander to take Imogen home so she can rest.  Naira immediately agrees when Imogen invites Naira to stay with her.  Imogen decides to wait while Naira signs some papers for the hospital and the three of them walk to the hospital lobby.  There is a line of taxis outside so Naira tells Zander they don’t need a ride and she opens the cab door for Imogen to slide in.  She gets in the car without a second glance at Zander. 

When they enter Imogen’s apartment, she immediately puts on a pot of water.  Drinking her tea, Imogen asks how Naira knows Zander.  Naira gives her the cliffs note version of her relationship with him and Vincent.  They finish their tea and right after Imogen goes to bed there is a knock on the front door.  Naira goes to look through the
peephole.  She opens the door and walks into Vincent’s arms when he opens them for her.  He leads her to the couch and sits down with her.  Overwhelmed by the past twelve hours Naira begins to cry.  She cries for her aunt, Imogen, her parents, Zander and all the girls in her uncle’s case.  She cries until she falls asleep.

****

Somewhat rested Naira wakes up on the couch lying on top of Vincent.  She gets up to go to the bathroom, but she returns the jovial person is gone.  She goes to the kitchen to start making breakfast and is surprised to see more than salad in Imogen’s refrigerator.  She’s knows that as a model Imogen is very conscious of what she eats.  Naira pulls out turkey bacon, eggs, milk then she gets some pancake mix out of the cabinet.  A half hour later Imogen follows her nose to the kitchen and the scent of pancakes and bacon. 

She sits down.
As she takes her plate from Naira she looks across the table at Vincent, “Good morning.  I presume your Vincent?”

“Good morning.  I am, my condolences regarding your aunt.”

“Thank you.”             

Naira sits down with her plate but before they can start eating the doorbell rings.

Imogen goes to answer the door, she returns with Zander walking behind her.  Naira starts to speak and Zander says, “Naira I know you’re pissed with me but I need you to tell me what happened with your uncle or he may get away with this.”

Naira looks at him confused, “What are you talking about?”

“I received a call this morning saying that due to Dina’s passing and I want you and Imogen to know that I’m so sorry for your loss.  Do to her passing the DA doesn’t think we have enough evidence to win the case against Jack.”

“Why not?”
Imogen inquires.

“A large part of the case was dependent on Dina’s testimony.  A lot of the evidence is circumstantial
.  Without Dina, the jury may not by it, his attorney is very good.  We need to know where all this started.”

Naira asks, “How many girls are there and why do you think I have anything to do with him committing murder?”

“There have been 5 girls over the last eight years between the ages of sixteen and eighteen.”  Zander hands her a stack of pictures, “Besides the fact that all the girls were going to him for counseling, they only have one other thing in common.”

Naiara looks through the pictures seeing that the girls are all African American and aside from small differences they all resemble her.   She drops the pictures on the table at a loss for words.

Imogen and Vincent look at the pictures as Naira asks, “What kind of sick shit is this?  How the hell did he get access to them?”

Imogen says, “Two years after you left he became a teen therapist.”

Vincent looks at them in shock, “I don’t understand. How could something like this go unnoticed for eight years?”

Naira walks over to the couch to rub Vincent’s shoulder trying to calm him down.  She knows that as both a doctor and a Dom he believes that patients, especially children are meant to be cared for and protected.  Having noticed when he woke up that Naira had withdrawn Vincent doesn’t feel confident that she would let him hold her.  Instead,
he places his hand over hers.

Zander watches as Vincent holds Naira’s hand to his shoulder.  If Vincent doesn’t feel comfortable enough to pull her into his arms, Zander figures he doesn’t stand a chance in hell.   His heart breaks knowing he has made the woman they both love feel betrayed.

Zander asks, “Will you tell me what happened?”

Naira looks at Imogen, “I need you to do me a favor”.

Imogen shakes her head, “I’m not leaving”.

Naira holds her hands out to take Imogen’s, “I know you want to stay but I don’t want you to hear
this.  You will take it onto yourself and it’s not your burden to bear.  Please Imogen.”

Imogen sighs but she gets up, picks up her purse and heads towards the door.  Before she walks out she says, “I’ll be back in half an hour.”

Naira sits down on the couch next to Vincent, Zander sits down across from them.  She inquires, “What do you want to know?”

Zander asks, “What happened between you and Jack?”

Naira tells them the story of how her uncle would watch her from the age of sixteen.  How he would comment on her physical attributes and try to touch her when her aunt wasn’t around.  She tells them that Dina called her a liar on her eighteenth birthday when she told her how Jack tried to coerce her into having sex with him saying that she was now a woman and needed to earn her keep”.

As Vincent and Zander try to control their rage, Zander asks, “How could Dina believe him and do absolutely nothing?”

Naira shrugs her shoulders, “She believed what she needed to in order to live her life.  The next day she gave me control of the trust fund my parents left me and my share of their insurance to pay for college.  She told me in exchange for them I had to go to college far away from here.  She didn’t know that I had been offered a full scholarship to San Diego Tech so I just agreed.  I set up a camera in my room and when I was home alone with Jack again I waited for him to come on to me again.  I recorded him touching me and saying how he was wanted to fuck me.  Aunt Dina and Imogen came home before he could do anything more”

Vincent inquires, “Is that why you’re afraid of a man’s hand being near your vagina?”

“Yes.”

Zander gets up to pace, Vincent sits there with his eyes closed, his knees bracing his arms as he holds his head.  Naira rushes through the rest of the story.  “I showed Jack a clip of the video the following morning, told him I would be watching and
everyone would know what a sick bastard he was if he ever touched Imogen.  That afternoon I got in a cab to the airport.”

Vincent asks, “How have you been living with this all this time?”

“One nightmare at a time and …” she laughs sullenly as she says, “therapy.  Eventually I understood that Jack was the one who was wrong not me.  I made the decision not to be a victim and to live a positive life for myself despite it costing me my family.  Was every day perfect? Hell no, it’s still not but I’m determined to build the best life for myself that I can.  A life filled with love and people I trust.”

Zander winces as he asks, “Are you willing to testify against Jack.”

“Yes.  If I would have thought for a second that he would do these things to innocent people I would have spoken up a long time ago.”

Zander says, “I’ll let the D
.A. know you’re in.  The judge had granted the D.A. a week postponement of the case in the hopes that he could work something out to get Dina’s testimony.  We’re back in court tomorrow.  I’ll let you know later in the day what time I’m going to pick you up.”  He lays his hand on hers, “Naira I really am sorry.”

Naira pulls her hand away and stands up, “I know you say that and I believe you, but I can’t do this.”

Hearing the sudden iciness in her voice Zander asks, “By this do you mean me?”

“I mean both of you.”

Vincent looks at her and Naira says, “I’m sorry but I can’t be with either of you.  Zander you lied to me flat out.  Vincent you may not have lied but you didn’t say anything either.  Even if you didn’t know what was going on you should have said something.

Vincent says, “I’m sorry but it wasn’t my place to tell you.  I know you’re upset and you have every right to be but please don’t shut us out.”

“You give me no choice.  It’s been my experience that those closest to you are more inclined to hurt you.  When I date someone I can handle it being a mutually beneficial sexual relationship.  That’s safe.  But to give everything that I am to someone and find out it’s a lie, I can’t do that.”

Naira
looks at them with sadness in her eyes, “Vincent I know you love me, I do.  Zander I know you care about me but I told you loyalty and honesty mean the most to me.  As far as I’m concerned you both purposely deceived me, I won’t have that in my life.”

Imogen walks in the door as Naira says, “I think you two should go.”

Zander comments, “You’re wrong, I don’t care for you, I love you.”

Vincent picks up his suitcase, “You don’t have to run from us.”

“Thank you for comforting me last night. Good bye.”

Vincent follows Zander out the door and Imogen closes it behind them.

Naira sits down on the couch; Imogen sits next to her asking, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.
  I’ve only been here one day and I can’t wait for this to be over.”

“I’m sorry coming here has been so painful for you.”

“Okay, you have got to stop apologizing.  I keep telling you none of this is your fault.  When this is over, you can come visit me in San Diego.  If you come for comic con we can dress up as superheroes and have a ball.”

“I’d like that.”  Imogen hugs Naira and says, “You know, I’m an adult now you do have to be strong for me anymore.  You can let me be strong for you.”

Naira smiles and hugs Imogen tighter.  When they release each other Naira says, “How about we skip breakfast and go out.”

“That sounds great.”

Imogen and Naira make the arrangements for Dina’s funeral then go to the bank so Naira can check on a safety deposit box.  They spend the rest of the day acting like tourists in Manhattan.  They visit the observation deck of the Empire State Building. They have lunch in Hell’s Kitchen, take a water taxi to Ellis Island to see the Statue of Liberty.  They even get Mooncakes in Chinatown, go shopping and have dinner in Park Slope. 

By the time they return to Imogen’s apartment they are worn out.  Naira kicks off her sneakers while Imogen goes into the kitchen and comes back with drinks.  Naira’s phone rings as she takes her drink from Imogen, seeing its Zander she answers it.  After a brief conversation of yes’ and okays she hang up.  She taps Imogen, who is now sitting next to her, on the leg then says, “Zander will be here tomorrow at eight-thirty am.”

“I’m going with you.”

Naira doesn’t want Imogen to come to the courthouse but the determined look on her face says she is going.  Naira replies, “If you insist.”

Imogen smiles, “I do.”

They get ready for bed and prep for the day to come.

Zander arrives exactly at 8:30am to take Naira and Imogen to the courthouse.  With all the media waiting out front Naira asks Zander if the driver can drop her and Imogen off around the corner from the main courthouse entrance.  They walk in through a side entrance usually reserved for employees and attorneys.  By the time they get to the floor the courtroom is on Zander is already up there and so is Vincent.  They notice a man speaking to Zander and a young woman getting frustrated.  Zander waves them over so he can introduce them to the D.A, Scott Andrews and he introduces Naira to the other liaison Agent Kayla Sharp.  He informs them that the defense counsel is objecting to Naira as a witness because she never gave a deposition.

They go into the court room to wait for the judge to call the court to order.  As they wait Naira’s uncle walks in with his attorney, he sees Naira sitting behind the D.A. and chaos erupts.  Jack starts yelling at Naira that she’s a lying bitch and how all the fantasies she had when she was a child are ruining him.  It infuriates him even more when Naira does even acknowledge him.  Zander starts to walk over there, but Agent Sharp motions for him to block the entrance of the isle Naira is in.  She goes over and says something that causes Jack to stop talking and follow his attorney to the defense table. 

Once the court room quiets down Zander asks Naira, “Are you okay?”

Naira shakes her head, “Yes”.

Scott asks, “Are you sure you’re ready for this?”

Trying not to get frustrated she answers again, “Yes”.

The Judge comes in to the courtroom calling the court to order.  The defense counsel immediately objects to D.A. Andrews calling Naira as a witness.  The judge decides to permit Naira to testify based on the undeniable fact that all the victims look like her.  He stipulates that Scott has to show evidence of some interaction between Jack and Naira.

Scott says, “We don’t have any evidence of that.  We have the word of his wife who just passed and the word of Ms. Cahill.”

The judge replies, “These are very serious charges I would like the jury to have more substantial evidence to go on.”

Naira whispers something in Zander’s ear.  Zander passes the information on to Scott who turns around to look at her.  Naira hands him a video tape, when Scott asks if she is sure Naira nods her head.  Scott tells the judge he has new evidence he would like to submit, the defense counsel objects but the judge allows it when Scott says he hasn’t even seen it yet.

The court officer takes the tape and puts it in a TV/VCR set on a rolling stand.  He pushes the stand away from the wall, placing it where the entire court room can see it then hits play.  As the video plays, everyone is shocked by the three scenes of Jack fondling a young Naira when no one else is around.  The last scene of him pushing her on to her bed and
telling her that she’s sexy and old enough to fuck appalls the audience. 

The judge allows Naira to testify, she answers both the plaintiff and defense counsel’s questions by giving accounts of all the times Jack touched or attempted to touch her.  In finishing her testimony Naira asks the judge for permission to speak.  She pleads to the jury and audience, “I give my condolences to the families of the victims in this case.  I am truly sorry about any part my silence may have played in the death of your loved ones.  I don’t know whether my speaking up at the time could have saved you the suffering you feel, I promise you had I known I would have.  I beg you to please look
at everything before you and make a decision that sits right in your heart, so that my story and the story of all these girls who have lost their lives don’t become someone else’s story at the hand of Jack Graysen.”

Naira leaves the stand
with tears in her eyes.  Before she can sit down the defense attorney is trying to negotiate the number of years Jack spends in prison.  Jack and his attorney are floored when the jury returns from a quick deliberation with a sentencing of one hundred and five years to life.  It is also ordered that he pay reparations to all the victims’ families for the emotional damage inflicted upon them throughout the case.  Zander and Kayla escort Naira and Imogen from the courtroom.  Naira walks out the courthouse with Imogen, leaving behind any thought of Jack Graysen.

****

Naira stays in New York a few more days for the funeral and to spend time with Imogen then she flies back to San Diego.  With everything that was going on in New York she didn’t get to call Leah until just before she got on the plane so she invites Leah to her house for dinner.  Naira orders dinner while walking to the taxi stand, by the time the cab pulls up to her house Leah and the delivery guy are there.  She pays for the food then she and Leah go inside.

As they eat Naira explains everything that went on from the investigation of Jack and Zander’s involvement in the case to the court’s decision.  During their conversation Naira’s phone rings, instead of answering it she dismisses the call and puts her phone on silent.  After the fourth time her screen flashes Leah asks, “Who’s trying to reach you?”

Naira forces herself not to role her eyes when she replies, “Vincent and Zander.”

Leah looks at Naira curiously, “Why aren’t you answering them?”

Naira catches herself mid-shrug, “I don’t want to speak to them.”

Sitting back a little Leah says, “You shrugged your shoulders.”

Confused by the comment Naira responds, “Yeah, so?”

“You only shrug your shoulders when you want to avoid or are scared of something.”

Naira stares at Leah for a moment then says, “They lied to me.”

“They love you.”

“Le, they hurt me.”

“Ara, they just wanted to protect you.”

“What if it’s not forever?”

“What if it is?”

“I don’t see you fighting your fears,” Naira immediately feels guilty when Leah winces.  She says, “I’m sorry Leah.”

“It’s okay, you’re right.  But this conversation is not about me.”

Naira doesn’t say anything else she just turns heard head to look out the dining room window.  Knowing when Naira gets like this she has to appeal to her reasonable side Leah says, “What did you tell me when you bought this house?”

Naira looks at her, “I have to change some of the glass because there’s too much and I don’t want to get murdered?”

“And what did I say to you.”

“You really have issues.”

Leah tries not to laugh, “After that.”

“Get an alarm system and a dog instead of putting up unnecessary walls.”

“Exactly, this is the same.  You love them and you’re afraid.  It’s okay to be scared but don’t allow that fear to cheat you out of what’s been your heart’s desire for so long.  Some people may not understand why you want two men in your life but I get it.  You want to always know that you’re loved and feel protected.  Let them know that’s what you need from them.”

Cheeky jumps into Naira’s lap, she just sits there quietly stroking her.  Leah decides to leave h
er to think.  She gets up telling Naira good night.  As she reaches the door Naira says, “Thank you for taking care of Cheeky while I was gone.” 

“You’re welcome.

Twenty minutes after Leah lives Naira’s doorbell rings.  She ignores it but a minute later she hears it open and can only role her eyes when she hears the voices coming toward her.  She makes a mental note to pluck Leah in the throat next time she sees her as Vincent and Zander walk in to the dining room. 

Zander almost sho
uts, “You could have picked up your phone you know?”

One of Naira’s eyebrows goes up, “Yeah, I could have.”

Vincent says, “We were worried about you.  Are you okay?”

Always unable to control her ability to respond to Vincent’s tenderness she replies, “I’m sorry you were worried about me.  What are you two doing here?”

Vincent sits down across from her at the dining room table and Zander sits next to her.  Zander asks in a calmer voice, “Are you okay?”

Naira answers, “I’m as fine as I can be. What are you doing here?”

Vincent replies, “Leah told us we should come see you.  She implied that you needed us even if you aren’t willing to admit it.”

“Sometimes Leah should mind her business.”

Zander says, “Do you really want to ruin everything we have over this.  You should feel…”

Naira interrupts, “Don’t even think to tell me how I should feel Zander. 
Do you know what it’s like to grow up just wanting to help those you love?  Only wanting to be the best person you can be, be the best role model for your sister you can be.  To just want to protect yourself and your family and be told to leave because you not wanting to be molested was causing unwanted waves.  To live a life where you control every intimate relationship you have until you meet two men who force you to risk your heart and you find out it’s all a lie.”  Now near tears she yells, “Don’t you dare tell me how to feel!”

Vincent
takes a sit on the other side of Naira.  He hesitantly takes her hand, his touch helping to calm her.  Zander leans forward saying, “Baby, I am so sorry for lying to you.  Please believe that I only did it because I thought it was the best way to protect you.  Everything I’ve read about and seen from you says you’d going running into a burning building to help someone.  As much as I admire that about you, I couldn’t let you do it.  I was sent here for the specific purpose of gaining information about you to see the type of person you are and if you’d be willing to help.  If so, I was to bring you back to New York.  As much as I love my job, I love you more and I couldn’t stand the thought of you revisiting even a modicum of the pain I know you went through.”

Naira sits with her eyes closed not saying a word.  Zander lifts her head when tears fall from her cheeks to her shirt.  He looks at Vincent unsure whether he should continue, Vincent motions for him to keep talking.  Zander wipes her tears saying, “Baby talk to me.”

Naira looks in his eyes and says, “What if I fall for you and you change your mind?  What if down the road the two of you decide you don’t want me anymore?”

Vincent wraps his arms around her waist, but knowing Naira needs reassurance specifically from Zander, he waits for his brother to respond.  Zander leans closer to Naira and lightly kisses her lips then says, “Don’t you know you are everything thing to us?  We came to San Diego just for you.”

Naira gets angry and tries to pull away from Vincent so she can stand up, “We’ve already established that you came here for the case.”

Zander shakes his head no, “They gave me this assignment because Vincent and I were already moving out here.”

Vincent explains, “Dante saw us at a party in New York six months ago and said he knew the perfect woman for us.”

Zander continues, “He said she’s beautiful, funny, intelligent,
sexy and has the biggest heart you will ever find in someone.”

Vincent adds, “He also said she’s been hurt by an unknown factor so you need to handle her with care.  Granted, my bother fucked that part up.”

Zander rolls his eyes, “Thank you for that.  Dante ended with, but if you can earn her trust and her heart you will have the woman made to complete both of you.”

Naira looks a little surprised, “Dante said that?”

Zander shakes his head yes as Vincent replies, “He knew we were looking for one woman we could both love and who would love us back.”

Zander smile
s, “Someone who would respond to our sexual needs.  There is no doubt in our minds we have found that woman in you.”

Naira asks, “What if something comes up that you’re not ready for?”

Vincent says, “We’re ready for anything.”

Zander pulls out a box; opening it he shows her an engagement ring.  Naira is enchanted by the three platinum intertwined hearts with a two diamond in the middle.  She doesn’t hear Zander until the second time he asks, “Marry us?”

Naira looks away from the ring to the sight of Vincent and Zander now kneeling side by side in front of her.  She stares at them as she states, “I’m pregnant.”

The brothers look at each other then back at Naira. In unison they jump up and lift Naira into the air.  They both yell, “We’re having a baby!”

Naira laughs as they hug her while rubbing her belly.  Vincent asks, “How far along are you?”

“Almost five weeks.”

Zander and Vincent look at her a little confused and Zander asks, “When did you find out?”

“Yesterday, I’ve been feeling nauseous the past few days.  I attributed it to the trial but when I still felt sick Imogen got me an appointment at her doctor.  She wanted to make sure I was okay to fly.”

Vincent tries to recall five weeks ago then it clicks, “The club?”

Naira shakes her head in acknowledgment of the occasion.  Zander remembers, “But we used condom.”

Naira says, “Yes, yes we did.  Welcome to my world where Murphy’s Law is often in effect.”

Vincent responds, “This baby is a gift.  I don’t care about the circumstances surrounding the conception I just care that it’s ours.”

Zander nods his head, “Agreed.  Sorry to tell you Naira but if you thought we were over-protective before you have no idea what you’re in for.”