My Demonic Ghost: Banished Spirits (9 page)

I immediately thought of a feeble old dog, cornered by its blindness and having to just bend its head down and charge, hoping for contact.

“And when you do find it, it becomes your everything. It’s your oxygen, your food, protection and warmth; it is the world and the universe and makes you feel whole. Only after you attach to a Host does everything seem to make sense again. You can’t help thinking that human life was just a big detour to this other awakening. All your senses change completely; you have different yearnings from what humans’ desire. George, his smell called to me. It was like something hot was boiling right under my nose. Not like smelling something burning, no, I was smelling heat… crisp, clean heat. The cleaner and warmer the smell, the greater the yearning. The connection to the Host is made by physical touch… like a hand shake or a tap, usually.”

“Or a kiss…” I finished and Lock cleared his throat.

“Well, um, yes, or a kiss. Human is the best to attach to because they live for the longest and have the best scent. That first link…” He titled his head back, inhaling that sweet memory for a moment longer, keeping it in his private little haven, “It was the strongest feeling I had ever felt, it was like he was … he just was my all. I couldn’t be away from him; it was as if steel ropes had entwined themselves around our bodies and into one unit. But once your Host is dead, they become cold and dirty… you just don’t want them anymore.”

I frowned unconsciously, burrowing so deeply into my jaw that it felt as if I would never be able to smile again. In the end it was just efficiency that drew them to us; much the same as how humans can’t function without oxygen, but that doesn’t mean we’re in love with it. We use it when we need it, and once we’ve collected what we need with each breath, we instantly dispose of the air, ready to inhale a new fresh gulp. How could this be any different? “So, no white light down a long tunnel, then?”

“Maybe, I dunno. It’s different for others. Those who are not Banished, that is.”

“Oh…” I had been insensitive but didn’t feel any guilt. I couldn’t feel sorry for someone who only saw me as a disposable source of life. Lock readjusted his position, completely angling his body to face me, pulling off his hood as the threat of sunlight started to fade below the pockets of the hills. It was getting late now, reaching near dinner time.

“I remember my first encounter with a Goon, back then I had no idea what was going on or how to get in touched with the Host’s... I mean George’s... soul. I was only surviving off him on a basic level; breathing him in like he was my own personal oxygen mask and sticking to him like glue…I met Betrayal on one of George’s travels. She had been with a different Host then, a Lucy or something, but she taught me about the Goons, Hunters, and the Third Realm.

“It was only a small Goon that I encountered and Betrayal helped me fight it. I didn’t feel good when I first used my dark magic, like I was ripping the heat from George’s body in greedy mouthfuls every time I fired a missile.

Before Lucy died, she told me that she and Betrayal used to be friends. Betrayal couldn’t remember any of it, she didn’t care. I didn’t care, either. Human life is pointless. The only good they can offer is to not die so quickly.” If he was meaning to insult me, he had succeeded. I turned my head away, not appreciating his brutal honesty.

The train stopped and another family joined us, sitting within ear shot of Lock and I. Lock tilted his head against the window, hinting that our conversation was over, and I didn’t pursue it. I was still envisioning this imaginary force that bound spirits to their Hosts. So, it wasn’t just the Host who is shackled in chains, it was the spirits, too, though theirs weren’t physical and couldn’t be broken by sheer force. They ultimately had to destroy their dearest companions again and again.

I imagined Lock detaching himself from me, linking with another soul once I was too ‘unclean,’ and vanishing from all his thoughts and memories. The longing in his eyes would be directed toward someone else as I moved on, dead and nothing to him… I quickly bit back a whimper.
Dad was right about them….Selfish monsters.

Chapter Eleven:

The world changed around us as we entered the hollow black mouths of the subway tunnels and further into the zone area A1. By now, we were anything but alone, having to push other riders’ lazy shoulders as they leaned against us. Lock looked uncomfortable with the restricted space, pressing and moulding himself far into the wall of the train. The man next to him was so engrossed in his newspaper that he didn’t notice the white knuckles of Lock’s straining hands, trying to hold himself up and away from the edge of the seat.

I gazed around, my attention shifting when I came past the most peculiar man a few seats down. He was standing completely upright between a business woman and a seven year old girl, who was intensely interested in her own fingernails. He seemed to be standing in the one area that the light failed to touch.

His eyes jumped to mine in a snapping reflex, knowing that I was looking at him. Across his eyes was the unmistakable ash mark of a Banished spirit. I felt my stomach coil in foreboding.
There’s just no escaping them. They really are everywhere
. His lips flexed underneath his nose and stretched into a crooked smile, revealing the cluster of awkward yellow stones crookedly dotting his bed of gums. But what caught me most off guard were his eyes; glittering gems of sickly paste grey, twitching and devouring me with each passing second that I looked at him.

I scanned quickly across the carriage but no one else seemed to notice the man and his ghastly expression; which only further confirmed my suspicions of him not being human.
How many times had Banished spirits actually passed me by, too, before I had any knowledge of their existence?
The tattered shirt he wore was dark brown and open down to the middle of his chest where a deep, dried stab wound was carved along his rib cage.

He followed my eyes and chuckled, mocking me and running his velvet tongue across his busted lower lip. He was the ugliest Banished soul I had ever seen; everything about him screamed monster. His broken hooked nose, the downward tilt of his eyes, the torn skin across his arms, and the thick, stringy black hair that sat like tiny ropes upon his shoulders. Even with his obvious defects, I still felt compelled to look at him in an almost offended manner.

I went to reach for Lock but the Spirit held up his hand to stop me. He pointed a finger straight upwards, curling it towards himself, beckoning me to him as I sat squirming in my seat.

Maybe I should go to him, just to see what he wants to say, he might be able to help us out. We needed some more information, right? I should go; I really should go to him. And I shouldn’t tell Lock either, it wasn’t necessary to wake him up from his daydreaming. I’ll just slip out of the seat as silently as I can and leave, maybe even walk out of the train. Lock doesn’t need me-
I shook my head as a spasm of cold flooded my cheeks. Lock had my face cupped between his hands, staring with tight and intense concentration. He was only sparing an inch between my nose and his, his eyes so much prettier than those other grey, dead hues that I lost all thought of abandoning him.

“Careful Rach, don’t stare at him.” The people sitting next to us recoiled from our sudden closeness, confused by Lock who had seated himself up on my lap and was forcing his head down on top of mine. My breath got caught up in my throat as I folded my lips back into my mouth.

“Okay.”

Lock lingered for a moment longer, not breaking the connection he had with me till he felt sure I wasn’t going to do a runner. He slipped back into his own chair, fold his arms over his chest and resumed his intense staring, watching my eyes. He then shifted and shot a look over his shoulder, which I followed back to the face of the other Banished soul who was evidently laughing privately to himself. He blinked at Lock once before looking back to me. Then slowly he lifted his wretched bone white hand, easing it down onto the shoulder of the little girl standing next to him. To my horror, she tensed at his advancement and glanced up, her neck tilting away as if cowering from a slap.

“We should get off the train,” Lock insisted, shooting up from his seat.

“Can’t we do anything?” I asked in hoarse desperation but Lock shook his head, intertwined his fingers with the folds of my sleeve and ushered me out the doorway furthest from the pair. I couldn’t stop myself from looking back, hoping that my eyes were deceiving me. The little girl tossed a worried look at her mother and reached out to touch her elbow, only to get her hand knocked away. The spirit continued laughing as the yellow lights in the carriage flickered. The doors opened with a jolt and I was yanked out.

Lock kept pulling me forwards, not giving me a chance to call out. I wanted to tear the girl away from the spirit’s filthy hands. The passengers getting on the train glanced at us wearily, leaning away.

It didn’t take long before a rapid ringing signalled the closing of the doors before the train crawled onward, the constant humming of the exiting crowd drowning out the sound of its engine building speed as it moved off into the distance. Lock spun me around behind a corner and out of sight. I craned my head back to the train but Lock rested his palm against my cheek, forcibly turning me to look at him again, his eyes sinking into my very thoughts.

“Rachael you have to understand…” His voice was controlled and domineering, cutting off my useless stutters. “He isn’t going to harm her, remember, the Host is the most important thing to a Banished soul-”

“But...but!” I started to protest as he glided his hand across my cheek and placed the flat print of his thumb over my lips, now physically holding my mouth shut.
But, he IS hurting her!
I protested inside my head,
He’s killing her!

“You’re probably not going to like this, but it’s actually children who are targeted for Host pairings most of the time. The first drive for spirits is to get to the closest Host they can smell, but once we’re secured, we can then sniff out any surrounding Hosts that are better equipped for our needs. Children smell the best because they have the longest to live…” My whole mouth became parched as my escaping breath heated Lock’s thumb. Noticing it, he dropped his hand immediately.

“But she... she’s just a little girl…”

Everything felt heavy suddenly, the weight in my chest pulling so hard that it felt as though invisible strings were connected to the corners of my lips, stretching them down with every heartbeat. I could feel the pressure tighten all through my face and neck, my heart pounding furiously, nearly pumping tears into my eyes.

“I never said Banished souls were the good guys,” Lock whispered. “What did you expect us to be? Do you remember about the sin we committed? The Banished souls aren’t good people, we’ve done bad things, yet we’re selfish enough to not want to be punished for it.”

“But you’re not bad,” I mumbled back.

“I’m no different to what he is, Rachael. There’s a reason why we’re both Banished…”  

I lowered my head; there wasn’t much I could say to that. How do I know he wasn’t like that man? Good looks do not count as free passes to becoming good people.

“And another thing,” he huffed as if he had just remembered something that made him intensely mad, “you have to be extra careful around other Banished spirits, they are dangerous. That bastard on the train, he was influencing you, I could tell.”

“Influencing me?”

“Yeah, it’s a known fact that you shouldn’t trust a Banished spirit, to not even look at one, because we can tamper with your very thoughts. If we can get eye contact, we make your decisions for you and have you convinced you made them yourself. It takes a lot of spirit power to do it, so not many Banished like taking the risk of losing their Host. That man on the train did it to you; I bet he was instructing you to leave me.” My head hung shamefully. “Only one other person outside of the Banished curse can pull this trick off, and I’m positive that’s why he’s an outcast from the rest of the Hunters…”

Hunters…
I already knew the name before Lock whispered it, “Gargoyle”. The frown overpowered my lips before I could stop it. I thought back to my first encounter with Gargoyle and realised the truth about my sudden urge to ‘trust’ him, he was putting his own words inside my head. That’s why he was trying so hard to get eye contact. A shiver ran through me; the thought of how vulnerable I was, how vulnerable everyone was, at being made into a puppet was disturbing. Free will was a luxury of the past, or maybe a luxury we never really had.

“We should get going.”

I led the way out of the train station, Lock lingering about half a metre behind me. It was dark outside but light still controlled the streets, the harsh yellow illumination of every street lamp and shop burning through the windows and onto the footpaths. Lock hid himself behind his jumper’s hood.

The apartment wasn’t far. Even with my eagerness making time go slower, I was soon punching the key into the door lock and shuffling myself, my load of luggage and Lock inside. It felt so good to be inside a familiar building once more, even if it was just the tiny foyer that smelled of dry plaster. Only five steps into the building was a pair of elevators to the left, their doors waiting patiently open as the overhead light flickered. The engine churned as we tiptoed in.

I caught sight of myself in the opposite mirror. My skin was pasty and my hair hung like dried spaghetti down my neck. Lock didn’t look all that flash either, his eyes were dark to the point where he looked sleep deprived underneath the hood and his lips were curved into a permanent frown.  He still looked different from me, even in his human body. The only feature we did share was that we were human; well, human-looking that is, I wasn’t dead. Yet.