My Destiny (13 page)

Chapter 21

D
estiny pulled out all of her old newspaper clippings of Adam. The fact that he would stay forever young in her mind and in her heart caused her tears to multiply with each glass of red wine. Taking her time, she reread each word printed in the articles and took each derogatory comment as a personal insult to the memory of the man she knew better than anyone.

For years, she’d tried to put the past just where it belonged—in the past. Yet, the confession to her friends forced her to reexamine her relationship with Miles. Her conclusion: she’d cast Miles in a role he was ill suited to play. She heard a loud ringing, but it took her a moment to realize that it was the phone.

“I’m coming,” she mumbled, frowning, and then tried rather awkwardly to get up from the floor. She knocked over the bottle and shrieked in delayed horror as a picture of Adam darkened a deep red.

The phone forgotten, she scrambled back to the floor to save the other clippings, but made more of a mess than anything else.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she couldn’t help repeating as she clutched the damp articles to her body. Before she knew it, she was overcome with emotions that rocked her to her core.

“You have to let me go.” Adam’s voice, a husky vibrato, was as clear as a bell in her head.

“I’m trying, but it’s so hard,” she confessed, squeezing her eyes tight.

“Letting go doesn’t mean you’ll forget me,” he said, tenderly.

Destiny stopped rocking, unsure that she’d heard him right.

“It’s okay,” he assured her again.

At the feathery touch to her shoulder, she opened her eyes to stare into Adam’s intense, brown eyes. She pulled back and soaked up his handsome image. He looked as he did the last time she’d seen him alive: the same hair, the same clothes.

Adam smiled and wiped at her tears. Again the touch was light but amazingly cold.

“What’s okay?” she asked.

His smile was so tender it broke her heart. “It’s okay to let go.”

Through fat whelps of tears, Destiny shook her head. “I can’t.”

He withdrew his hand. “It’s been twelve years, Destiny. It pains me that my passing has haunted you like this. It was never my intention to do this to you.” He glanced down. “There was a lot that was never my intention.”

“You are a part of me. You’ll always be a part of me.”

“I
was
a part of you. I made mistakes, but they were my mistakes. It hurts my heart to watch you do this to yourself.”

She shrugged absently and forced a lie to pass between her lips. “It hasn’t been that much of a burden.”

Adam smiled. “Don’t forget who you’re talking to. I know you better than anyone—better than Lu Jin, and better than Miles Stafford. We were twins, after all.”

Destiny blinked at his mention of Miles.

“What? You didn’t think I knew about him? You did give him some of my best records.”

“I—I didn’t think you’d mind,” she stammered, apologetically.

Adam laughed and she could feel her soul warming to its familiar sound.

“Of course I don’t mind,” he said, but his smile faded quickly. “But I do mind you throwing your life away. There’s no sense in both of us making that mistake.”

Destiny frowned. “I haven’t thrown my life away. I’ve built a small, successful law practice.” She pulled up from the floor. However, she still felt light-headed and the articles she’d clutched fluttered to the floor.

“And what of your love life?”

She expelled a tired sigh. “Oh, that.”

“Yes, that,” he said with a note of frustration.

“I’m no super woman. Up until now, my career has occupied most of my time. I mean I date, occasionally—but it’s very hard to invest much time in looking for a soul mate.” She was rambling, but couldn’t help it. “I’m also beginning to suspect all those magazine articles on how a woman can have a successful career and a wonderful family life are just full of crap. It’s one or the other if you ask me. Or would you have rather I’d married Jefferson Altman—
boring
Jefferson Altman?” She giggled, enjoying the magic the wine performed on her.

“What about Miles Stafford?”

Destiny frowned. “Why is everyone trying to cram Miles down my throat? We’re friends. That’s it, end of story.”

“Because he reminds you of me?” Adam questioned.

“Y-yes.” She lifted her hands to cradle her head. She didn’t like the way the room spun mercilessly around her, but blinked in surprise at the sound of Adam’s rich laughter. “What’s so funny?”

His eyes focused on her. “You are. You were never a great liar,” he said, shaking his head.

Destiny, no longer trusting her legs to support her weight, moved over to the sofa and unceremoniously plopped down.

“Desi,” Adam said, moving to stand in her line of vision. “Open your heart and see the gift that’s standing before you before it’s too late.”

The telephone rang and Destiny jerked to its loud, invasive sound. “Go away,” she moaned, mainly because she wasn’t in the mood to get up and search for the handheld unit.

“Adam, could you...?” She looked around. “Where did you go?” Frowning and expelling a breath, she shook her head. Adam was dead and she was sitting in her living room, talking to herself.

“Girl, you’re definitely losing it,” she huffed and pushed up to stand on her wobbly legs. She retrieved the now-empty bottle of wine from the floor and stumbled in a crooked line to the kitchen to search for a new bottle.

* * *

Miles glanced at his watch, while returning his cell phone to his hip. He was instantly besieged with worry. He’d been waiting with their new client for Destiny for well over an hour.

“Should we reschedule?” Mr. Michaels, an elderly gentleman with wiry salt-and-pepper hair frowned with his inquiry.

“No, that won’t be necessary,” Miles assured him. “I’m sure something important must have delayed my partner. Let’s just go ahead with our meal and I can fill Ms. Brockman in on the details later.” He smiled and suffered through horrible images of the different possibilities that had delayed Destiny. It was just not like her to pull a no-show.

* * *

Destiny’s creed—wine is fine, but there’s not a damn thing that old Jack Daniels couldn’t fix—was under review. She didn’t have many self-indulgent pity parties—and it was a good thing, too. For, at the moment, she was enjoying the wonderful feel of the toilet’s cold porcelain against her face.

What she wouldn’t give to have Miles famous hangover remedy that he’d often bragged about. She drew in a deep, shaky breath, and hugged the toilet tighter as a wave of Chinese food and booze gushed and splashed into the bowl.

When the room’s spinning accelerated, she was startled by the unexpected feel of something cool pressed against her head and then, just as suddenly, she was weightless and floating in the air. She giggled and waved her arms blithely over her head.

“Watch it. You’re going to gouge out my eyes,” a deep, familiar voice warned her.

Destiny jerked her head up in a lame attempt to bring her surroundings into focus, but the quick motion caused her stomach to protest violently and a second serving of dinner spewed forward.

“Damn it, Desi,” the male voice barked.

She apologized instantly to the voice, but felt another wave overtake her just before her intoxicated world faded to black.

* * *

When Destiny came to, it was to the sound and feel of warm water coursing around her body. She moaned and a fuzzy figure leaned over her and called her name. She opened her mouth to speak, but her mouth was as dry as the Sahara and her tongue had transformed into an engorged, leathery monster that made speech impossible.

She heard a loud exhalation before the figure said, “You gave me quite a scare, Desi.”

“Adam?” she asked, but the question sounded more like a grunt to her ears.

“What were you trying to do, kill yourself?”

Her moan was her answer to the ridiculous question mainly because the effort to talk took too much out of her.

“Here, swish this,” the voice instructed.

She opened her mouth obediently. And instead of the expected taste of water, came the powerful taste of Listerine. She went to spit it out, when the same command was barked at her.

“Swish!”

Grudgingly, she did as she was told then spit the foul-tasting mouthwash back into the Dixie cup he’d provided. Seconds later, the cloud of confusion parted and she realized that her concerned stranger was actually bathing her.

An alarm sounded in her head and she pushed weakly at the pair of soothing hands.

“It’s all right. It’s all right, Desi.”

She relaxed at the sound of the loving nickname Adam had given her. She’d even managed a weak smile as she said his name.

“Desi, Adam’s dead. It’s me—Miles.”

“Miles,” Destiny repeated, still smiling. “Sweet, caring, Miles.”

He chuckled. “Maybe Wes is right—I’ve lost my touch.”

Lifting a wet hand, Destiny caressed the side of his face. “You’re so good to me,” she whispered. His blurry features slowly came into focus and her smile grew even wider. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m doing what I’ve always done—look after you.” As he said this, he rubbed a soapy towel over her shoulder. “You were a mess when I found you in here.”

“Is that all?” she asked suggestively with a lopsided grin. She lowered her hand to his bare chest. “And the fact that you’re not wearing anything is because—?”

One side of his mouth lifted with mild amusement. “I’m not naked. I took off my shirt because you decided to launch your dinner all over it.”

“Likely story,” she said with a loud, disbelieving laugh. She encircled his neck with both arms, and sat up to press her wet body against his muscular chest. “Whatever you say, dream lover.” She kissed the lobe of his ear.

“Oh, is that what I am?” He laughed.

“Are you complaining?” She kissed him and enjoyed the feel as, at first, his tensed lips relaxed. A glorious ripple of pleasure swept through her. She moaned again as her mind took flight.

Miles’s strong arms dipped into the tub and, in one impressive lift, pulled her wet body out.

She shivered when the room’s cold air hit her body.

Ignoring the loud slosh of water, Destiny and Miles’s lips refused to part.

Destiny felt a surge of empowerment at hearing the sound of Miles’s moans of pleasure. Then again, she’d always enjoyed these wonderful dreams of making passionate love to him. It was the only time when she allowed her mind to act out all the feelings of her heart.

Miles tore his lips from hers and whispered raggedly, “I can’t do this.”

Disappointment flared her determination and she pressed her body even closer. “Why? Don’t you find me attractive?”

“Extremely,” he answered in the same husky baritone she’d always loved. He lowered her legs to the floor so she could stand up. He led her to the sink where he prepared her toothbrush and handed it to her.

“Brush,” he instructed.

Again, she did what she was told. When she was done, she turned toward him. “Then why won’t you make love to me?” she asked, pouting.

He wrapped a bath towel around her. “Because you’re drunk. And because
when
I make love to you I want you to remember it.”

She kissed the small dimple in his chin. “I’m not drunk—just a little tipsy,” she said, and with a flip of her wrist, the towel fell and pooled at her legs. “There’s no point in fighting the attraction between us, so why bother?” She rocked back onto the heels of her feet and became fascinated by his taut small nipples jetting out at her. She favored one with a slow lick.

Miles flinched as if she’d burned him, and then settled his large hands on her shoulders. “It’s not going to happen. You’re drunk.” He retrieved the towel from the floor, but she blocked his efforts to cover her nudity. “Please, don’t make this any harder than it already is,” he pleaded.

She stopped squirming and responded in a sly purr, “I wasn’t trying to make it harder. I was trying to make it fun.” Her arms encircled his neck again. “Don’t we always have fun together?” She smiled at the exquisite feel of his erection straining against his pants. “Well, at least there’s one part of you excited to see me.”

“You’re not playing fair,” he said.

Destiny saw longing in his eyes. “Forget fair. Kiss me.”

He did as he was told and leaned down to capture a kiss that rocked both of them to their core.

Blissfully, Destiny closed her eyes and allowed his lips to transport her onto lofty clouds of ecstasy. To date, this was the best dream she’d had of Miles. The tingling sensations from his feathery caresses blossomed feelings she was afraid to put a name to.

Again when his mouth withdrew, she experienced another stab of disappointment. “You’re a terrible tease.” She sighed and laid her head against his chest. As she listened to his rapid heartbeat, she thought how ironic it was that its pattern matched her own.

“I better get you into bed,” Miles said, thickly.

She smiled. Finally, this erotic dream would get started, she thought. She kissed his chest. “Will you be joining me?”

He drew in a deep breath, and then kissed the top of her head. “No.”

Instantly annoyed, Destiny slapped a hand against his chest and turned abruptly. She had every intention of storming off, but her brain and her leg muscles weren’t in sync and she fell. But, before she hit the floor, a pair of strong arms enfolded her and once again, she was airborne.

“You’re just determined to break your neck, aren’t you?”

“What do you care?” she sulked, while nestling her head against his chest. “You probably like the idea of getting rid of me.”

He laughed. “Now, where did you get a crazy idea like that?”

She drew in a deep breath, but didn’t say anything. At the moment, she loved the feel of his arms wrapped around her. They made her feel safe and secure—nothing could ever harm her as long as Miles was around. He’d helped her build a successful law practice, taught her about health and fitness, and even how to enjoy life.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, and then yawned.

He chuckled. “For what?”

“For being drunk.”