My Fake Boyfriend is Better Than Yours (14 page)

—Sebastian Colander

 

Huh. I wonder if his autograph can pop, lock, and drop it?

I'm so screwed.

 

 

I'm done. Finished. I've got nothing left—no more tricks in my bag. The end. I totally failed. But of course I failed. That's what happens when you lie, right? You don't win. You lose. Bill Clinton lied about hooking up with Monica Lewinsky. FAIL. Martha Stewart lied about illegally using a stock tip. FAIL. Tori Barnes lied about having a boyfriend named Sebastian Colander. FAIL.

Ahh! I can't face the world. I'm going to stay right here in my bed forever.

“Tori? You awake?” Mom calls from outside my bedroom door.

“No!” I yell.

“What? You sound muffled,” she adds.

I pull the covers off my head and sit up in bed. “No!” I scream, and then flop back down.

Mom raps on my door. “Can I come in please?”

I stare at the ceiling. “If you must,” I mumble.

Mom opens the door and walks over to my bed, her hand covering the mouthpiece of the phone.

Great. Just great. I am so not in the mood for any phone calls right now. I'm far too busy ruining my entire life to chat.

“Dad's on the phone, hon,” she says, holding the phone out to me.

I shake my head. I'm not in the mood to talk to Dad either. I don't need him telling me again how he told me so.

Mom puts the phone back up to her ear. “Jason? Can Tori call you back later? She doesn't appear to be feeling well.”

“Thanks,” I mouth.

“You want me to tell her what?” Mom says. She gives me an odd look. “Okay, hold on, I'll tell her.” She covers up the mouthpiece of the phone again. “Your dad wants me to tell you that he found that kid you're looking for and he wants to know if you want him to call him.”

I'm suddenly feeling even worse than I was just a second ago. I didn't think it was possible. I wave my hands in front of my face. “No. Tell him
no way
. Under no circumstances is he to call him. Just forget I ever mentioned it.”

Mom puts the phone back up to her ear. “Got all that?” she asks Dad. “Okay then. You too. Take care.”

She hangs up.

Mom takes a seat on my bed. “Tori? What was that about?”

“Nothing,” I mutter gloomily.

“Sure doesn't sound like nothing,” she continues.

“I don't want to talk about it,” I reply.

She sits there for a moment. Probably waiting to see if I'm going to change my mind. When she finally talks she says, “Okay. You don't have to tell me. But if you want to, I'll listen. In the meantime, I have the entire day free, so I'm all yours. Want to go shopping and pick out something cute to wear to your dance tonight?”

Hmm. Well, I was kind of hoping I would catch a twenty-four-hour bug or something and not be able to go to the dance tonight. But maybe it's worth it to go to the mall. It's got to be easier to catch the flu in that people-packed place than in my reasonably clean room. And if I do still go to the dance, at least I'll look cute when everyone finds out I'm a big fraud. “Okay,” I agree.

“Good.” She nods. “Why don't you get dressed and meet me out front? We'll pick up breakfast at the mall.” Mom gives me a cheery smile and leaves my room.

If she only knew what I've been up to these last two and a half weeks, I don't think she'd be smiling.

An hour later we're walking through our second store at the mall. I take a sip from my large frozen mocha. Mom doesn't let me drink coffee drinks unless I'm super upset and she's trying to cheer me up. She's talking about all kinds of stuff, really rambling on and on. She asks about my homework, if I'm going to dress up this year for Halloween, do I think I want to write for the school newspaper again, and so on. She's talking about everything under the sun
except
what's bothering me. She's so pointedly
not
talking about Dad's phone call or why I was upset this morning that it's starting to drive me nuts. It's such a total Mom maneuver intended to make me break down and spill.

I'm trying hard to resist her moves as we sit outside the small bakery in the food court, sharing a giant gooey cinnamon roll.

“Did you know your grandma used to make me and Aunt Kate homemade cinnamon rolls every single Sunday morning?” Mom says. “I would rest my chin on the kitchen counter and literally drool as I watched her stir the icing and then drip it onto the rolls. They were delicious.” She pops a piece of the roll into her mouth.

“Okay! Fine! I'll tell you. Sheesh. Beat it out of me, why don't you?”

Mom smiles and wipes her mouth with a napkin. “I'm listening.”

“Oh, Mom.” My shoulders slump and my bottom lip quivers. I feel like I might cry.

Mom reaches out and rubs my hand. “It's okay, Tori. Take your time.”

“I made a real mess of things, Mom. A really big mess,” I start.

She nods, waiting for me to go on.

“Well, Sea stopped talking to me halfway through the summer. She didn't respond to my e-mails, nothing. Then she comes back looking all superstar, and the kids at school were falling all over her. She said she had this wonderful boyfriend who she met on vacation. His name's Antonio. I didn't believe her. I thought she was making him up. I got tired of listening to her go on and on, so I made up a fake boyfriend too. I told a lot of lies.   I mean
a lot
of lies.”

“Like what?” Mom asks.

“You name it, I said it. I said Sebastian Colander, that's my fake boyfriend, was calling me and IMing me. He sent me flowers, and he even gave me a Tiffany necklace.” I stop, gauging her reaction to the necklace. But she doesn't say anything. “Well, there
is
a real Sebastian Colander. Who knew? The whole class saw him on the news this week. He lives in Chicago. He's a local hero. Everyone insisted that I bring him to the dance, and then Sea said
she
was bringing her boyfriend, Antonio.
Yeah, turns out her boyfriend is
real.
I was positive that she was lying the whole time, and I was just trying to one-up her. But now it's only me who's the liar. I don't know what to do, Mom,” I say. I put my face in my hands.

Mom's quiet for a moment. “Tori,” she finally begins, “I think you've already gathered that it's wrong to   lie, correct?”

“Oh, I gather. I gather.”

“Well, then you need to fix it. Tell Sienna the truth,” she affirms.

“The truth? Now you sound just like Dad!” I argue.

“Your dad is right, Tori. And so am I. The only way to fix this is to tell Sienna everything. Tell her how   you were feeling—that you were insecure.”

I frown.

“She's your best friend, Tori. She's going to forgive you. But you've got to tell her the truth, and do it now before this thing gets any worse.”

I fold my arms over my chest. “This sucks.”

“I know, sweetie. But it's a good lesson. We all go through them. You're not the first kid to lie, you know,” Mom states.

“Have you lied?”

Mom smiles. “Let's stay focused here, shall we?”

Darn.

“You need to go to the dance tonight and straighten
things out with Sienna,” Mom says. “And believe me, tomorrow you'll feel twenty pounds lighter.”

“Yeah, yeah,” I mutter. “Dad already told me all that truth-sets-you-free stuff.”

“You've got a smart dad, Tor.”

 

 

Mom pulls up to the front doors of Norton Junior High and puts the car in park. I look down at my outfit. It
is
pretty cute. Mom bought me a new flowy skirt and T-shirt to wear tonight.

“C'mon, Tori,” Mom urges. “You can do it. I know it.”

“I'm glad one of us does,” I return. I stare in through the glass doors. The lights are bright, and there are kids standing around smiling and talking in the entranceway.

Mom puts a hand on my shoulder. “Sweets, the sooner you get in there, the sooner it will be over with. Start by walking into school. Go on.”

I grip the car door handle and look at the school entrance once more. I can't believe I'm really going to walk in there. Alone.

“I'll be back at nine to pick you up. Call if you need   me to come sooner, okay?” Mom says.

Like if the crowd turns on me and they hang me from the rafters? I nod and step out of the car. A breeze hits me and I shiver.

I can do this, I can do this
, I chant to myself.

I pass the kids lingering in the entranceway. Right now I'm trying to put one foot in front of the other.

I stand by the gym doors, ready to face the music. Hey, I made a funny. I would totally laugh if this wasn't the worst moment in my entire life. I open one of the heavy wood doors and walk in. The music is loud, and there is a gigantic mirrored disco ball hanging from some pipes near the gym ceiling. The DJ is wearing sunglasses and bopping around behind a table with a stereo on it. He looks like he's a high schooler. I scan the   room looking for Sienna, but I don't see her yet. There are kids everywhere, and I totally expect them to be whispering to each other, “Where's Sebastian? Where's her boyfriend?” but no one is even looking at me.

Daphne and Bella stand underneath one of the basketball hoops, waving at me. They both look cute in   short colorful cotton dresses—solid cranberry on Daphne and a burnt orange on Bella. I brace myself and march over to them. Before they can even say hi, I begin. “Listen,” I say, talking fast, “there is no Sebastian
Colander, okay? Well, there
is
a Sebastian Colander. Just not one that I'm dating. I don't have a boyfriend. I made him up. I lied and I'm sorry.” I take a deep breath. There. I got it   out.

Daphne and Bella look at each other, confusion across their faces, and then look back at me.

“Tori,” Daphne starts slowly, “what on earth are you talking about?”

“Sebastian,” I repeat. “You know, my boyfriend, er, fake boyfriend.”

The girls look at me blankly.

Oh my god. They
don't know.

Okay, how does anyone not know? I thought everyone knew. Hadn't I mentioned Sebastian to Daphne and Bella? I'm sure I had. Maybe. Well, now that I replay the last weeks in my head, maybe I hadn't. Sheesh. Maybe it's my own big head now thinking that everyone is talking and obsessing about me and my life when really people are just doing their own thing, living their own lives, and I'm like a brief pop-up ad on their Buddiez home pages. Something you only take in for a moment and never really think about again.

“So, let me get this straight,” I begin. “Not to sound like a loser or anything, but you guys like me?
Me
, me? Not me because I'm Sienna's best friend or because we have boyfriends but just because of me?”

The girls look at each other and laugh. “Uh, yeah,”

Daphne confirms.

“But, Daphne,” I go on, “you made fun of my boots last year!”

“I did?” Daphne asks. “I'm so sorry. I was kind of mean last year. I was embarrassed because I wear a lot   of knockoffs. That's all my mom buys me. I was probably trying to call you out to distract you from calling me out. But I don't care about that stuff anymore. I changed a lot this summer.”

I nod. “A lot changed this summer,” I agree. “Do you think we can maybe forget about all that stuff I just spewed out?”

“I already forgot,” Bella replies.

“Me too. Short-term memory loss,” Daphne adds, tapping her head.

“Thanks, guys.” I smile.

“Oh, guess what?” Daphne asks. Her eyes are bright like she can't wait to spill some big news.

“What?” I ask.

“My mom has a friend on the school board, and I overheard them talking this morning about the whole Wittler thing. Turns out she's been drinking at schools for
years
,” Daphne says dramatically.

“No way,” I utter.

Bella nods. Daphne must have already told her.

“This is the third school she's been at in the last five years,” Daphne continues, holding up three fingers for emphasis.

“It's the first time she got fired though,” Bella adds.

“Yeah,” Daphne picks up. “She got the last two schools to let her voluntarily resign so our school never knew when they hired her.”

“Oh, man,” I whisper, shaking my head.

“Principal Brown isn't letting her off so easy though. Wittler's in big trouble. She won't be partying at any more schools, that's for sure,” Bella asserts.

“We're heroes,” Daphne says proudly.

“I wouldn't go
that
far,” I retort. I mean, I'm glad we got Wittler out of school, but I sure don't feel like a hero, especially not with what I still have to tell Sienna tonight. Speaking of Sea, where is she?

I turn around and look at the gym doors just in time   to see her walk in with Antonio. He
is
gorgeous, of course. And they look gorgeous together. Sienna has her hair down and loose around her shoulders, and even though she did wear her jeans and vest over a T-shirt, she looks more like a rock star than a seventh grader. Antonio is about five inches taller than her with jet-black hair and dark eyes. He's wearing a tan polo
shirt with worn-in jeans. He has an arm casually flung around her shoulder, and she looks like she belongs there.

“Will you guys excuse me?” I say to Daphne and Bella.

“Sure.” Daphne nods. “We'll catch up with you later.”

I walk toward Sienna and Antonio, wringing my hands the whole way. Though I've played this scene in my head a hundred times today, I can't be sure how it will come out of my mouth.

“Hey, Sea,” I say when I reach them.

“Tori! Hey!” She looks almost giddy. “Tori, this is my boyfriend, Antonio. Antonio, this is my best friend   in the whole world, Tori.”