My First Murder (19 page)

Mira burst into a strange, jerky laugh that sounded like a cross between sobbing and giggling. Gradually, her laughter morphed into an odd hiccupping, through which she explained:

“It was classic tragicomedy! The great lover’s condom broke. Do you know why Tommi kept his mouth shut about the whole thing? It would have hurt his reputation if his women had found out he didn’t even know how to use a rubber!” Mira grimaced poisonously and stopped laughing. “You seem to know my business even better than I do. It was Antti’s birthday, in February,
in his apartment in Korso. I was wearing mascara for the first time in my life, and I didn’t realize how strong the punch was. I danced with Antti—he still asked me to dance back then—but he was as aloof as ever. Then Tommi cut in, took me from Antti, and started kissing me. For once I just let myself go, and I ended up at Tommi’s place.”

“And you got pregnant?”

“On the very first try. Like in the old movies where an innocent country girl comes to the city to work as a maid and gets seduced. Maybe I should forget school, get married, and start making babies.”

“Is that what Tommi said?”

“No way. At first I thought I wouldn’t tell him at all, but...it would have been his child. And it was Tommi’s fault, so I thought it was only fair that he at least pay half.”

“What did he say?” I was guessing that Mira had never told anyone about the abortion and that the only other person who knew about it was now dead. We were using each other—I was abusing her need to talk and she was taking advantage of my official position. A police officer is like a priest in that she is bound to discretion. Mira knew that I would never tell anyone what I heard if it didn’t have a direct impact on the investigation.

“He was shocked, of course, almost more shocked than I was. Then he tried to turn it into a joke and said he hadn’t ever been a daddy before. ‘You aren’t going to be one now either,’ I said and told him I intended to have an abortion. He was relieved and told me that he would pay all the expenses, because he had so much more money than I did. Why wouldn’t I have let him pay? But he couldn’t buy away the shame. He didn’t have to go through any medical examinations or tell his life story to a social worker. He didn’t have to lie with his legs spread on a table to
have his uterus scraped out or have the nurses snap at him when he said the anesthetic wasn’t working. Yes, sometimes I wanted revenge...He made me a murderer either way.”

Mira snorted at my dismayed expression. “I didn’t kill Tommi. My parents belong to the Christian League, and they raised me to think abortion is murder. If they knew what I had done, they would probably disown me. I don’t regret it though. What would have become of the child? Tommi and I couldn’t get married. We detested each other! Those two weeks before the abortion were the worst weeks of my life. I felt like I was tied to Tommi because there was someone growing inside me who was both part of him and myself. I was throwing up all the time. It was like my body was trying to get the creature out, but it just didn’t want to come. Have you ever had an abortion? Although I guess I have no right to ask.”

“No. I mean no, I haven’t had an abortion. I’ve been poisoning myself with pills for years.” It’s true that Mira didn’t have any right to ask, and I didn’t have any obligation to answer, but for some reason I wanted to.

“Did Tommi threaten to tell your parents? Or did he threaten to tell Antti? Maybe he teased you about Antti and said he’d tell him all the dirty details about what you did together, or maybe he mocked you for being in love with Antti. That was why you hated Tommi.”

“I didn’t hate him. It was more like contempt. He teased me about Antti, and I teased him back about his clumsiness, which he was ashamed of. He wouldn’t have wanted to tell anyone about me. But what right did he have to mock my...my love. How is that anyone’s business? How is it your business? Do you think I like having everyone know I’m hopelessly in love with Antti? In love! You’re the first person I’ve said that to out loud.” Mira started laughing her strange laugh again. It felt wrong.

“‘Poor Mira, so ugly and so serious, how can she possibly think she could ever snag someone like Antti?’ That’s what they all think, including you. And Antti is kind to me. If he were mean, it would be easier not to care. Sometimes I hate myself. I hate this humiliation. Love is so much more destructive than hate. If Tommi had done something to Antti, I could have killed him...” Mira broke into sobs, and she cried hideously, gasping, her face swelling and turning red hidden behind her hands.

I bent forward and touched her on the shoulder, but she shook me off like a maggot. “Go away,” she croaked through her fingers. “Go ask Tuulia why I didn’t hear her snoring at five in the morning when I got up for a drink of water. Or go ask Timo how much a bottle of moonshine costs.” Mira’s sobbing grew even more hysterical. “Piss off!”

I left. I grabbed my jacket from the coatrack and started tramping through the rain toward the bus stop. What could I have said to Mira? She didn’t want my words; I couldn’t do anything for her. Not for Mira, and probably not for any of the others either.

I decided to follow Mira’s suggestion and go look for Timo. Sirkku lived in Haaga, which was more or less on the way back into town, and they might be there together. The bus was just pulling up to the stop, and I ran to catch it. I felt some satisfaction that I had likely correctly guessed the identity of the person responsible for making the moonshine.

At Sirkku’s apartment, I found only a roommate, who said that Sirkku hadn’t even dropped by for the past few days. I headed downtown to Timo’s address, which was near the cathedral, but no one answered there either. As I stood in the stairwell admiring the elegant art nouveau paintings on the walls, I thought about what to do next.

I was sure Riku wouldn’t be home on a Saturday night, so I walked over to Kaisaniemi and jumped on the tram, which took me to Lauttasaari Island. I might as well try Pia too.

The Wahlrooses’ end row house was easy to find. Although I had no complaints about my own apartment, I still felt a slight twinge of envy. The west-facing windows of the building opened onto the bay, and a few sailing yachts and a couple of muscle boats bobbed at the nearby dock. Given that they essentially had sea access from their backyard, I guessed that one of the boats was probably theirs. I had never gone sailing, but it looked fun. Jaana had gone out with Tommi a few times, but had complained that she hadn’t been able to do anything except try not to be sick.

Light shone from the windows on the side of the house. I rang the doorbell, and after a moment, Pia’s voice came from somewhere. “Who’s there?” I was confused for a moment because I had only ever seen an intercom on an apartment building.

“Maria Kallio, from the police.”

“Wait just a moment. I’ll come open the door.” The moment lasted a couple of minutes, and then Pia appeared in a thick, cream-colored dressing gown, with a matching towel covering her hair. She smelled like luxury skin cream, for which I had neither the resources nor the nose.

“I was in the bath,” she said brusquely.

“I’m sorry to interrupt, but I have a few questions for you.”

“At this time of night on a Saturday?”

“This is a murder investigation. But would some other time work better for you?” Pia seemed to think for a moment, then motioned me in.

“So you didn’t arrest Antti?” she asked, looking disappointed as I took off my muddy tennis shoes. My department-store denim jacket looked like an orphan among the Wahlrooses’ couture.

“I couldn’t find any reason to. Was the memorial service nice?”

“Tommi’s mother didn’t come, if that’s what you mean. The mood was still a bit uncomfortable though. We sang a couple of pieces and then left because we felt like everybody was staring. Sirkku and I thought the whole fuss would finally be over if you arrested Antti. Not that I would wish any harm on Antti, or anyone for that matter, but this business is starting to get on my nerves...And I absolutely have to be able to fly to San Francisco in two weeks—that’s the finish line for Peter’s race. I can go, right?”

It hadn’t even occurred to me that anyone might leave the country. Did I need to confiscate all of my suspects’ passports?

“Hopefully the case will be over by then. Finding a resolution as quickly as possible is in my best interest too.” There was something about Pia that made me more stiff than usual.

“Would you like some tea? I always have a cup of chamomile tea after my herb bath. It’s very relaxing.”

I realized I hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast except for a slice of bread and cheese with Antti. Tea sounded nice. Pia ushered me into the living room and then disappeared into the kitchen.

After Mira’s student apartment, with its standard furnishings, and my own flea-market-decorated home, the Wahlrooses’ living room looked lavish. The view of the sea was undeniably impressive. The blue-and-beige furniture formed cozy enclaves where one could hole up to read or listen to music. Small, unusual objects adorned the shelves and tables, obviously keepsakes acquired around the world. The only thing that bothered me was the sterility created by all the tidiness. There were no half-read books lying around or newspapers folded open to the television
schedule on a coffee table. It was like an interior decorator had just finished with it.

The ceramic teacups Pia brought were the same shade as the sofa slipcovers. Alongside the tea, she served delicious buttery scones, presumably straight from the microwave. I was so hungry that I took one before Pia even had a chance to offer me any. If this had been a movie, Pia would have been the murderer and the scones would have been poisoned. As the poison paralyzed me, she would confess her crime and then push me off the dock into the sea. If this were a movie, the hero would show up at the last second to save me. But this was reality, and I could take care of myself.

“Very good,” I mumbled, my mouth full of pastry.

“Peter made them. They’re from the freezer. He’s an excellent chef. In fact, he cooks on the
Marlboro
too.”

“Did you meet Peter through Tommi?” I discreetly clicked the recorder on again in my pocket.

“Tommi and Henri were Peter’s sailing friends. Antti sailed with them sometimes too. When Tommi turned twenty-five, he organized a big party out at the Peltonens’ villa and invited the choir and his other friends. That’s where we met.”

“Love at first sight?”

“In a way. I had heard of Peter before, since he was in the papers a lot during that last big maxi-boat race.”

“Were you and Tommi romantically involved prior to that?”

“No! He was dating Jaana at the time. In the beginning, we spent a lot of time together as a group. It was the Peltonen boys and their girlfriends, Antti and Sarianna, and us. Henri and Peter have a boat together, that one there.” Pia pointed to the most beautiful sailboat moored down at the dock. “It sleeps eight
comfortably.” “How do you have money for all this?” I asked before I had time to think.

Pia looked taken aback for a moment, but then she replied, somewhat mockingly, “I don’t. Peter does. It’s money he inherited. Stocks. Have you ever heard of a company called Kymi Timber? Peter’s grandfather sold it five years ago, when it was still a thriving business. Peter is the only grandchild.”

“What does Peter do for a living?”

“He’s an economist with KOP Bank on the securities side, but he hasn’t worked for almost a year. He’s actually a professional yachtsman these days.”

“He must be away sailing a lot. Don’t you get lonely?” I was trying to disguise my desire for information in false friendship, but I imagined that Pia probably saw through it.

“Yes. He’s been away a great deal this year. He will have been gone half the summer for this one race. And I don’t want to fly from one port of call to another. Traveling alone is so dreadfully boring, and there are the time changes to deal with and everything. I’d rather be home and try to get my thesis done, but it is wretched. I’m sorry that Peter has to travel so much, but he’s got all these sponsorship agreements he’s obligated to fulfill these days.”

“Tommi was probably good company for you, then. What was really going on between you two? A lot of people keep dropping hints about your relationship being more than a friendship.”

“That’s all it was, at least as far as I was concerned!” Pia swung her arm so violently that tea splashed on her spotless white bathrobe. “I liked spending time with Tommi. I have no idea why he suddenly started hanging on me so much last spring though. After Christmas at our choir retreat, he always wanted to dance with me and he claimed he was sick of entertaining
the new children in the choir. All spring he acted like he was infatuated with me. Whenever we went to a bar after rehearsals, he came and sat next to me. He walked me to the bus stop. Sometimes he even came home with me. And he asked me out to movies and concerts and dinner when Peter was away. You must know how miserable it is to always go out alone or just with other girls?”

Now it was Pia’s turn to look at me with disingenuous intimacy in her eyes. The misery in question was foreign to me, because hardly a week went by when I wasn’t sitting alone in the corner pub, and I preferred to go to the movies solo than with a companion who made loud comments at the wrong moment and endlessly rustled his popcorn. But what point was there in telling that to Pia?

“Peter can be a little bossy sometimes. He knows what he wants. And that’s what I fell in love with. He’s a man of the world. Tommi was...different. He let me decide what we did and where we went.”

A new trait in Tommi, I noted. Until that moment, I had thought he was pretty bossy too.

“If Tommi hadn’t turned all lovey-dovey, we could have had so much fun. Peter didn’t have any problem with my going out with Tommi either. He meets beautiful girls on his trips. It comes with the territory. It’s OK to be friends with men too.” Pia sounded defensive.

“But Tommi wanted to be more than a friend?”

“He started to claim he was in love with me!” I noticed that when Pia became overwrought, a North Karelian twang slipped into the refined urban dialect she had cultivated. “At first I didn’t believe him—everyone knows his reputation, after all—but little by little I started to think it was real. And of course
he flattered me.” Pia swung her glossy brown hair back with a smile. “There would have been other takers too. In any case, it’s nice to know that men don’t consider you completely dead erotically, even though you’re married. And I thought it was only right that he was getting a taste of his own medicine for once.” Pia smiled wickedly, and for a second I almost liked her. “But sometimes it was irritating.”