My Forever (47 page)

Elder Mason,

I can’t even begin to tell you how blessed I feel. It’s like everyone around me is doing so much more than I could do myself. I miss Daniel
,
and I’d trade the money for him without even a thought but I have my own place, my own place where I can live and take pictures and it’s all so perfect. I’m overwhelmed. I’m grateful and I can’t wait to see you.

Love
,
Dani

Dani,

I told you and I knew that you would be blessed. Be thankful and enjoy it.

Elder Mason

~
~
~

“I brought dinner!” I hear Jackie at the door
. I walk out of the small room—
pa
int covering my hands and
my hair. “Wow, you’re a mess.” She laughs.

“Pizza.” Chase smiles
as he holds up the box
.

“Thanks guys.”

Jackie helped me pick out cabinets, colors, everything. I can’t wait to see it all put together. A couple more days like today
,
and it’ll be done.
Or close.

“So
, I figure I have a week left o
f renovations.”

“Just because I get married in a week doesn’t mean that you have to be out of my house in a week.”
Jackie sits on the floor as Chase sets the pizza down.

“But you’re not doing a honeymoon right now
,
right? You’re doing it on Christmas Break?”

“Well, yeah, but we’ll have a hotel in downtown for the first few nights.” I almost detect a hint of blush on her cheeks. I’m jealous, but too happy for her to care.

“So, I have a week and two nights.” I laugh.

~
~
~

I move out two days before their wedding. My tiny
,
one wall kitchen is done. The painting is done.
There’s
some small things left but nothing big. I’m almost ready to bring in clients.
If I have any.

Brian insisted on doing
my website, which i
s amazing like everything else he does. Things are coming together.

I
miss Daniel so much it hurts, and
wear his dog tags
every day
. He wore them like this before I did. It
feels good. And it turns out that
dog-tags
go with anything.

Michael comes home in one month. One month! And Jackie gets married in two days. I’m her Maid of Honor so I can’t be her photograp
her but I do find one for her—
after a dozen or so interviews.

I want to call Mandy again about my money, but I’ve decided it’s not worth the fight. There are better ways to use my energy.

~
~
~

The day is beautiful and the wedding is flawless. Everything is
perfect
,
and the food is delicious.
I expected nothing less.

Sean is
here so I have a friendly face
,
and we share a few dances together. I share a few dances with Clint and even with the groom. The elusive Bridger flies into town for the wedding. I meet Jackie’s dad for the first time in two years. His eyes are the same bright blue as hers. I can’t help but wonder what
his
house looks like. Something tells me that the Mason’s house would lose something if I were to see the house of Mr.
Caine
.

Chase introduces me to his brother, Noah. I’m meeting
Noah Watson
. I feel like a dork for being so excited, but he’s even better looking in person.
Green eyes, dark hair, perfect smile.

“I’m sorry, I feel bad asking for your autograph on your brother’s wedding day.” I plan on sending it to Hannah. She’ll be thrilled.

“No, no it’s fine.” He smiles widely. His teeth are perfect. “
Who
do I make it out to?”

“Hannah. S
he’s my sister.”

“Okay…
to Hannah…”

“I think you know a friend of mine?” I ask.

“Oh yeah? Who’s that?” He hands me back the napkin he just signed.
Still in full smile.

“Brian and Leigh Wright?”

His face turns to stone. “Oh, right, yeah…
Well, it was nice to meet you, Dani.
”

“You to
o.”

I wonder what happened there. I’ll have to ask. Noah’s wife
wraps her arms around his waist
,
and they hit the dance floor. I carefully tuck the napkin into my bag, give Jackie a final hug and congratulations, and head to my new home. It’s late
,
and even though I’ve been snacking all afternoon, I’m hungry.

~
~
~

Ready to be out of heels,
I change into my chucks and walk outside
after getting home
. I don’t bother changing out of my deep blue bridesmaid dress. It’s started to rain
,
and I laugh. The water makes the silk cling to me in soft layers. Leave it to Jackie to enjoy a perfectly sunny day for her wedding, just before the rain starts in.

I’m looking up at the sky, which is openly pouring now when I hear my name.

“Dani?”

“Sean?” Weird. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh, I’m about to head off for my final year and wanted to say goodbye first.”
He’s got a sack in one hand, and his suit is slowly getting soaked.

“And you couldn’t do that at the wedding?”

He looks around
, not making eye contact
. “I brought food.”

“Oh! Great, I was just going out for something whe
n the sky opened up.”
I’m freezing
,
and he’s all hunched over a bag of Chinese takeout. “Come on!”
We run up the street together.
I’m sure the dress is near ruined
,
but the wedding is done and I can’t imagine wearing a skirt this full in real life.

We dash up the stairs together
,
and I open the door. Sean hasn’t been here for a few days
,
but they were busy days.

“Wow, Dani.” He stops
as soon as we step inside
. “It looks great in here.”

“
Thanks.”
There isn’t a lot of light in here now that it’s dark outside. I’ll have to get an electrician in here to see what I can do about that. I know what I’d like to have, I just don’t know if I’ll want to spend the money.

“This is great. Really.” He’s still looking around.

“I’m pretty happy with it,
”
I admit.
The eclectic mass of chairs and couches litter the floor. I keep trying to make sense out of them all
,
but an orange replica of the couch used on friends just doesn’t go with a white Victorian loveseat
,
and the oversized
laz
-y-boy
matches nothing and might have to go
.

I have no table yet, so we sit on the floor. 

“You must be excited to get back to your girl.” I smile at him.

He looks uncomfortable. “Yeah… I…” But he doesn’t finish. He leans over his plate and kisses me
quickly on the lips
. I’m too shocked to move. When I do nothing
,
he sits back down.

“Sorry, I…” H
e shakes his head, and stares at the floor
.

“Did I do something?” I ask. “Because you’ve been a fun friend
,
but...
” I gesture between us. I feel bad. Wait a minute. I shouldn’t feel bad. “You have a fiancé!”

             
“I know, I kno
w… I
t’s just that things are so easy with you
,
and I thought how great it would be if that translated into something more than friendship.”
He slumps further, but still looks up at me.

“Well, it won’t.” I shake my head. “I have one of those. I’m down to counting days.”

He doesn’t say anything.

“Sean, you don’t have this with your fiancé, do you?” I gesture between us again. “It’s not easy like this.”

“No. She’s great.
I love her
,
and she’s beautiful but…”

“But you need to find someone that you can have it all with.”

He sighs. “I don’t want to start all over.”

“It’s not a race, Sean.”

“Are we still friends?” he asks
,
ssuddenly
seeming a little shy about looking at me
.

“Definitely. As long as you don’t try to kiss me again.”
But
actually, I could see it. If I di
d
n
’t have Michael, the friendship Sean and I
have
could be more.

And it sort of hits me in that
moment, that
Lucas and I could
maybe
have been happy, too. And Instead of making it feel less special for Michael
and I
to have the chance to be together, it feels like more. We’re choosing it.
Both of us.
At the same time.