My Heart Can't Tell You No (6 page)

Jackie, Johnny and Joe went to school the following Monday and stood in front of a gymnasium filled with students. Each received a football the team players had signed. They stood stone-faced, then moved back to their seats. No one associated the poor girl from the south side of town with Jackie Baker. So little was said about her death. No one in the gymnasium knew Jackie Baker was changing under the stony face he showed. No one in the gymnasium except his brother and best friend would know how he would break down that evening when he attended the girl’s viewing and how Joe and Johnny would have to hold onto him as he clutched onto the girl’s lifeless body and sobbed, his strong athletic legs beyond the ability to hold his weight, or how surprised the few people attending the viewing were to see the three stars of their city’s high school football team attend her viewing.

Only two people other than Jackie and Joe knew Jackie had promised to pick up Brenda for their trip south the next day before kissing her goodnight. Two other people knew of Jackie’s and Brenda’s plans to wed after they watched them together on the dike that night; after they listened to the young couple making their plans for a lifetime together. They were the same two people who watched Jackie walk toward his uncle’s house before they followed the girl into the shadows of an alley.

CHAPTER IV
 

June 1984

J
oe was putting a box of old mementoes away, the last of his belongings, when he heard the knock on his door. He glanced up at the clock to see it was almost nine-thirty. The sun had gone down, but it wasn’t quite dark yet, making his view of the woman standing outside his screen door somewhat impaired. Whomever she was, she looked business-like in her tailored skirt and blouse, with three inch heels and her hair pulled up on top of her head. His surprise stopped him when he was nearly three feet from the door, discovering it was Maddie.

“You know how to open the door.” He turned back to the box on the other side of the room. She followed him, looking cool and sophisticated. He didn’t like it. “You come down to
help
me
, Maddie? You know I always appreciate
your
help
.”

“I believe you have my son’s shirt down here.” She stopped ten feet away from him, ignoring his statement.

“Do I?” He went back to sorting through the box. “Is that the only reason you came down here?”

“That’s the only reason,” she said in a bored tone, but her interest picked up when she saw him lift a framed picture, making her walk to him and kneel next to the box. “Is this Jackie?”

“You don’t know? Come now, a woman of such . . . .” He gestured toward her clothes and hair. “ . . . stature should be able to recognize her own brother.”

“Fourteen years is a long time. Then this one must be you.” She pointed to the other soldier, showing Joe a well-manicured hand with lightly polished nails.

“Now that really hurts,” Joe mocked her. This clean, crisp, tightly controlled woman was trying to keep the fiery, carefree, tomboy inside that he remembered so well.

“You were much younger here. Excuse me for not remembering exactly what you looked like when I was a child. Could you get Robby’s shirt please. I’d like to go home.”

“How’d you know his shirt was down here?” Joe got up and took a step toward the kitchen where the boy had left it.

“Because I asked him who took his shirt off when I was spraying his back. He’s burnt quite nicely. Remind me to thank you.”

“Well, maybe if you taught your kids to listen, he wouldn’t be burnt.”

“My sons listen fine.”

“Is that why they came down here today, when you told them not to?”

“From what I heard, Robby sneaked off on his own. Jackie didn’t have any choice but to come down. As for Robby, I’ll deal with him when I get home.”

“Are you going to punish him for coming to visit me? Don’t take
your
hang-ups out on the kid. He didn’t do any harm.”

“I think I asked you for my son’s shirt.” She turned back to the box, glancing down at it and away from him.

When Joe returned to the room he found her sitting in the chair, her hand holding a yellowed envelope with brown stains on it. In her other hand was a sheet of paper, faded a little with age, as was the childish script that covered it. Her eyes on the paper, she didn’t look up at him as he stood next to her. She carefully refolded the paper and slid it back into its envelope, handing it to him as she took the shirt.

“I didn’t realize you kept things like this.” She pointed to the brown stains. “Is that . . . .”

“Yeah. I haven’t seen it for a while.”

“You were reading this when it happened?” She still kept her eyes downcast, looking at the envelope.

“Right before. It was in my pocket when I found him. Somehow it fell out.”

“I have to go home now. Thank you for getting the shirt.” She moved toward the front door, pausing before she went out. “Robby said he enjoyed helping you today. Thank you for letting him, and not being mean.”

He watched her go, smiling a bit as he remembered he didn’t have much of a say in the matter. But his smile faded like the color of the aged envelope as he glanced down at the paper in his hand.

July 1970

Dear
Joe,

I
passed
fifth
grade
this
week.
Bob
graduated
and
spent
two
nights
with
us.
Tom
has
a
new
job,
he’s
working
at
the
silk
mill
as
a
mechanic.
I
can
hardly
wait
until
you,
Jackie
and
John
come
home
this
summer.
I
miss
you.
Tell
Jackie
I
miss
him
too.
I’ll
write
him
tomorrow.
Tom’s
dog
died
two
weeks
ago.
She
never
did
take
to
the
new
house
since
we
moved
in
last
year.
Sometimes
I
can
hear
her
bark
to
be
left
in.
I
miss
her.
I
talk
to
your
dad
every
day.
He
calls
me
his
little
indian.
I
tell
him
I’m
German
but
he
laughs
at
me.
My
dad
is
having
a
lot
of
trouble
up
at
work.
He
says
they
are
trying
to
make
him
quit
so
he
doesn’t
get
his
twenty-five
year
pension.
He
says
he
worked
there
for
twenty-one
years
now.
I
don’t
think
I
understand
about
the
pension
thing
though.
I
have
to
go
now.
Bob
said
he’s
going
to
take
me
to
see
the
police
school
he’s
going
to
go
to
soon.
Did
I
tell
you
he’s
gonna
be
a
policeman?
He’ll
have
a
uniform
just
like
you.
Except
his
will
be
blue.
Mom
sends
her
love
to
you,
so
you
tell
Jackie
I
love
him
and
want
him
to
come
home
too.