My Heart for Yours (17 page)

“
I’d never . . .” I shook my head, but Eamon had already started his bike and took off down the road.

I heard Tobin blare the horn on his truck just before he pulled into the driveway.

His smile at seeing me dropped every bit of tension Eamon just added on.

“
There’s my girl!”

And I jumped into his arms.

***

“
Delia!” Dad’s voice almost catapults me out of my chair on the porch. “What on
earth
were you thinking?”

“
What?” I didn’t realize so much time had passed and that Dad and Weston were back already.

“
Don’t
what
me.” Dad sits on a chair next to me, and leans in my direction.

I want to set my jaw and look him straight in the eye, but instead I shrink back into the seat and stare at my hands. I’m really starting to hate this side of me. Emails asking my friends for time are one thing. Facing my father is another. Just his tone makes my body shake.

“
Where’s Weston?” Anyone to save me from whatever Dad has to say.

“
He’s getting ready. Which you should be doing, too. You look like damn hippie in that blouse.” He scowls.

I glance down at the silk. This blouse cost my dad over three hundred dollars at Neiman Marcus, and I want to laugh.

“
Weston told me about last night.”

My stomach turns over, and I pull in a slow, deep breath to try and keep from shaking. I finger the hem of my blouse and wonder if there’s anything I could say to get me out of this.

“
I thought we’d left this alone, Delia. If what you had to do didn’t teach you to stay away from that boy, I don’t know
what
to do for you.” There’s a hardness, and a mean, almost sarcastic edge to his voice. “Or if anything can be done.”

“
But—” Dad needs to know how it all happened.

“
Keep your mouth shut when I’m talking, Delia.” His steely eyes don’t leave mine.

I’m blinking back tears, and biting my lip, trying to just wait it out.

“
Weston is the best kind of boy. He loves you more than you’ll ever find from anyone else. His dad has all but sealed up my election this fall, and if he’s ready to forgive you for not only your past, but your damn little stunt last night, then you better grab him while you can, because not many decent boys would want someone who—”

“
Dad, I don’t think you understand what happened. I just went for a walk. I didn’t think I’d run into anyone! It’s that—”

“
Delia!” He barks, silencing me and spilling the tears down my cheeks. “Let’s not add liar to the long list of sins stacked against you. This is my final warning to you. Understand?”

I clutch my stomach and nod.

“
Now.” He stands up, a painted smile on his face. “Let’s get prettied up, and put on our best smiles, okay?”

“
Okay,” I say, hating myself a little more than I thought possible.

“
Delia, I’m sorry,” Weston whispers as I knot up my hair.

His face is pleading as he stands just outside my bathroom. My bedroom door is politely open.

“
It’s fine.” I take another breath and blink away a few more tears as I stare at my reflection in the mirror. I pull up another strand of hair and grab a bobby pin. “It’s not like I was going to escape today without crying.”

As I look at my face in the mirror, I know that Eamon would give me shit over how my hair was pulled up too tight, and he’d hate that Weston is here. Right now I hate that

Weston is here. Sending a text to Tobin was a stupid coward move, but better than him not know Weston’s coming at all.

There’s no way to tell Weston not to come now. How do I say that I can’t hurt the brother of the deceased?

Screw it. Dad’s already pissed. I jerk out the pins and let my hair fall.

Weston sighs. “He asked about the car because he heard me either leave or come back in, or—”

Wait. At first I was mad just because he told Dad I rescued Tobin. My chest drops.

“
Oh no, you didn’t get in trouble, too, did you?”

He looks away, like he doesn’t want to say.

I stand and face Weston, suddenly tense and wondering what happened between them. “What did he say?”

Weston’s eyes come back to mine. “He gave me a wink and said something about you and I taking off together. I didn’t want him to think that of me.” His voice falters. “Of
us
, I mean, so I told him that you’d gone for a walk and needed to be picked up.” He runs his hands over the front of his black suit a few times.

So, that’s how Dad got the whole story. “And I imagine he knows why and where, and . . .”
everything
. I’m nodding without meaning to, feeling sick that Dad will be thinking—typical Tobin, even though he just lost his brother. I know Tobin partied less when he and I were together. He was careful. Always careful with me until the end. I’d been around enough to know that. Dad just never gave him the chance.

And now Weston covered for himself by using Tobin, which was all true, so it’s not fair of me to pin that on him, either.

“
I’m sorry, Delia. I really am.” His whole face and body and everything is so pleading.

I sigh and turn away. “Damn hypocrite.” I say under my breath as I turn toward the mirror, my hair falling around my face. I’ve put on makeup, but just a touch. Almost nothing. And my hair’s staying down.

“
Delia?”

“
My father, not you.”

I open my mouth to tell him that I’d just gotten a lecture on what a sinner I am, but Dad’s apparently winking at Weston over his own daughter. The thing is—Weston and I haven’t talked about my past. I dumped everything from the old Delia and left it in Crawford. The problem is that now I’m back, and the two parts of my life don’t seem as compatible as I thought they might be.

“
I shouldn’t have said anything, Delia. I’m really sorry.”

“
It’s not you.” I sigh.
It’s my dad. It’s me. It’s Tobin.

Weston steps close to me and slides his arms around my waist. “It’ll get better.”

I lean in and let him think he’s comforting me, but my dad isn’t getting better, he’s getting worse, and I don’t know how much more stress I can take.

Seventeen

Tobin

The church is still decorated from a wedding the night before. I find this both completely appalling and amusing. The guy who was always most likely to never get married had ended up in a church full of carnations, bows and baby’s breath.

“
Tobin,” Dad nudges me. Shit, they’re all waiting on me to speak. I don’t even have to look over my shoulder to know that everyone in the church is staring. I can feel their empathetic eyes trained on me.

I make my way to the pulpit. I button my suit jacket and straighten my tie. I had a time trying to get it just right this morning. Whenever we had a wedding or other event to go to, Delia always did that for me.

***

She stood back to look at me in my suit.

“
I sort of like seeing you dressed up like this.” Delia smiled wide.

“
Yeah, well, don’t get used to it. I feel like a freak in this thing,” I said. “Tell me again why we have to go to this?”

She frowned.

“
Tobin, you promised. If I went to your family’s Cochon de Lait last weekend, you’d come to my dad’s fundraiser with me. Now, let me fix your tie. I think a half-Windsor will look better with this collar than a Four-in-Hand.”

I rolled my eyes because I had no idea what the difference was.

“
That’s different. Roasted pig is good. Hanging out with a bunch of suits is bad.” I tried to laugh so she’d take it as sarcasm, but I was pretty serious. Going to these country club functions was my least favorite thing about being with Delia. I didn’t fit in. I had nothing to offer in conversations, and I actually had to buy a suit for the first time in my life.

“
Besides, your dad doesn’t want me there.” I waited a brief moment for her to deny that, but she didn’t.

“
That’s true,” she said. She untied my tie and then worked to perfect the knot, her brows pulled together in concentration. “But, he thinks I won’t put on a happy face if he doesn’t let you come, so he’s bending his own rules for tonight. There.” She smoothed the tie down and stood back to admire her work. “It looks much better like that, right?”

“
Right,” I agreed. I honestly couldn’t tell the difference between the two.

“
All right, we’d better get going,” she said, checking her watch.

“
Sure I can’t entice you into getting out of that dress and staying in?” I asked. I pulled her in by her waist, my thumbs finding her hip bones that I loved so much. I pressed my mouth to her neck and she let out a content sigh. My lips moved across her chest and I picked up her dainty arm and kissed the length of it. By the way she was responding to me, I thought for a second she might actually agree to stay home. But she swatted my hand away just as I reached around to the back of her form fitting, sparkling black dress and gave the zipper a light tug.

“
Come on, you know we can’t do this right now. My dad will go crazy if I don’t show up!”

“
I’m about to go crazy,” I said. “I need you.” I let out an involuntary growl and tried to shake it off.

“
What you
need
is a cold shower,” she joked.

“
I’ll settle for a swim after we get this over with,” I told her.

“
Deal.” She reached out and shook my hand in agreement.

***

Always a trade. Always a compromise. Until there wasn’t anything left to bargain with, because neither one us had any clue what to do. If it had been just the move, we might have been able to deal.

I shake the memory. It wasn’t the place to be thinking about that night.

I sort of fucked up, because I don’t have anything written down. Not a single word. I tried several times this morning, sitting in Eamon’s jeep outside of the church. I just couldn’t put what Eamon was and what he meant to me in words that these people sitting here would understand. All while keeping the swearing to a minimum. It was too much to ask of anyone, and for a second, I’m angry at my mom for making me do this.