Read My Hustler’s Keeper Online
Authors: Larissa
My Hustler’s Keeper
-1-
HARMONY
“There is no pain Jesus can’t feel. There’s no hurt he cannot heal. All things work according to his perfect will. No matter what you’re going through remember God is using you. For the battle is not yours, it’s the Lord’s.”
I am singing with our church choir and Yolanda Adams’ smooth voice on the CD player ‘
The Battle Is Not Yours’
as our Sunday message
.
“May the congregation stand for the final verse?” Pastor Joe stops me to ask the congregation.
“You may continue, Harmony,” he says.
“There's no sadness Jesus can’t feel. And there is no sorrow that he cannot heal. For all things work according to the master’s holy will. No matter what you're going through remember God is only using you. For this battle, it's not yours. It’s the Lord’s. It’s the Lo—.”
“Yes, the Lord understands what you’re going through. Thank you daughter for that lovely song,” he says, stopping me again and speaking.
“No problem Father.” I bite my tongue, as I grew tired of pretending to actually call him Father during Sunday services. Walking away from the platform, in which I’m standing on with the rest of the church choir, I proceed back to my seat.
“Fuck! I’m getting tired of this chick too,” I mumble under my breath while taking my seat next to Mary.
“I’ll say it again for the ones that didn’t hear me. Yes, yes the Lord understands whatever you’re going through. Just put it in God’s hands and he will take care of the rest. This battle you can’t handle on your own, put it in God’s hands and he will use you, for the battle is not yours, it’s the Lord’s. I think Yolanda couldn’t have say it any better.”
“Amen,” the congregation shouts in union.
“As we move along into Sunday’s closing I’d like to speak about the news of the week. First off, I’d like to give praise to our Lord and Savior for allowing us to reach our weekly goal of bringing in two hundred thousand dollars, which by the way is going to be use for our boys and girls center we’re trying to build.”
“Amen, amen!” the congregation shouts.
“Yes! Can I get an amen again?”
“AMEN!” they repeat.
“God is good. Now moving along, my daughter Harmony, as you all know, I have to give away someday. But last night as I was getting ready for sleep, the Lord came to me and told me in code that on September 23rd she would be walking down this very same aisle, only this time she would be saying
I do
to my long time business partner and best friend Mary Scott,” he says smiling.
“I’m going to be doing what?!” I stand up in shock.
“You and Mary will be getting married next year,” he tells me, giving me a stern look as he speaks.
“Like hell. I don’t know what God you’re listening to but you need to tell him to direct in code your life, not mines,” I yell, causing the congregation to gasp.
“And besides, how are you going to force me to marry somebody I’m not in love with? And I thought sleeping with the same sex is a sin to God?”
“The battle is not yours Harmony, it’s the Lord’s,” he says, looking me directly in the eyes.
“Amen. Marry her off Pastor Joe. The Lord has the final say. And he has spoken,” Ms. Willie speaks, causing the rest of the congregation to agree and put their two cents in.
“I don’t give a fuck whose battle it is. I’m not marrying her and that’s final Joe.” I give him the same stern look. I know if looks could kill, we both would be laid out on the floor dead.
“Church is dismissed. And remember we will meet again Monday night for Bible study,” he gives his last speech, and just as the congregation is exiting the building, my older brother Henry along with Sincere and his right hand man Daniel enter.
“What’s up Harmony?” Daniel asks, hugging me.
“What’s up ma? You seem tense. What’s the problem?” Sincere asks me.
“I don’t have a problem. Try asking your boss,” I reply back angrily before addressing this code Joe so-called received again.
“I’m not marrying her and that’s final.” I begin to stomp my foot, pouting as if I am a li’l girl whining for some candy after her mother told her no. But I don’t care; I am going to whine until I can’t whine anymore.
This is the same bullshit my mother and him used to fight about. The same shit she died trying to protect me from. And now here he is, trying to direct my life and marry me off to his sidepiece.
“You will marry whoever I tell you to marry Harmony. So you can whine all you want but my decision is what counts and that’s final,” he tells me, while stepping down from the platform.
“We’re trying to do what’s best for you Harmony,” Mary speaks.
“Fuck you Mary. You’re trying to do what’s best for you and this heartless man of a father.” My anger rose.
“Harmony, I’m doing this for your own safety. When I leave this earth I need to know you are taken care of.”
“C’mon, Joe, cut the bull. I don’t even like you. Your congregation is not here so we don’t have to pretend anymore. But if that were the case, I’d rather be by my damn self. So come next Sunday when you have your weekly news, tell them the Lord came and told you Mary is not the one. It was a misunderstanding. Cause if you’re looking for me to say I DO you have to be on dope and gumdrops. That shit will never happen and I’m putting my foot down.”
“Look Harmony, I don’t have time for this. I have a meeting to attend to. Go wait in the car and I’ll talk to you later,” he says, waving me off.
“Read my lips, I’m not marrying her Joe. And if you actually think I am you and her is on dope and gumdrops. Stop thinking you can control me. I’m not weak.”
“I can and I am controlling you. And you will marry whomever the fuck I say. Now get the hell out my church. You’re dismissed.”
“I’ll rat us all out before I let you continue to control me. I’d rather be rotting away in a cell than marry her. Henry, when you’re done getting orders from your master, I’ll be in the car.” I keep my eyes on Joe, letting him know every word I spoke wasn’t a lie.
I turn my back on them and proceeds to leave the sin Joe calls a church, slamming the doors behind me, pissed off, but staying behind, sneaking to the other side to overhear what they are talking about.
** ** **
“I don’t think she agrees with us Joe,” Mary says.
“Never mind her. Let’s get down to business,” He says, handing Mary an envelope.
“I want all these properties taken care of before the week is over with. Henry, Sincere, and Daniel, we must make a move on these drugs. I got a new shipment coming in and I’m trying to get it cut, bagged, and on the streets.”
“Yo Pops, you know I can handle this,” Henry says, feeding into Joe’s orders like the slave he wants us to be.
“Just front me the package. And I’ll take care of the rest.” He is putting on a show. Acting as if he is Daddy’s favorite just like I was during the service.
“That’s what I need to hear son. Otherwise, all of you low lives are going down. I need loyalty on this team. Sincere, I’m going to need you to take care of those cats out south that’s been short on my money. Then call up Juno and see what is taking him so long to reach out to me. Daniel, I need you to watch over Harmony, and make sure she doesn’t try anything that will cost us this business. Right now she’s not in her right state of mind. And I can’t afford for her to go off and fuck up what I worked hard to maintain. Mary, come with me so we can work out the lesson plans for next week. I might be selling and moving dope by the key load but as long as I got my congregation you can’t tell me shit,” he says with a cocky smile.
Ugh, I fucking hate him and everything he stands for. Joe needs to die and he needs to die fast. Otherwise we all will be in his control until the day we die. And I am not going to let that keep happening. Trying to keep my anger under control, I continue to listen as Joe controlled the ones I love, bringing them deeper and deeper into the mess he had created.
“Now, I’d like to hear a report from you guys within forty-eight hours, then—.”
“A’ight,” Sincere says, cutting him off.”
“My son do we have a problem?” Joe asks Sincere.
“Nah, no problem. Just ready to go.”
“You all are dismissed.” Joe waves them off, like the servants we all are becoming.
“Mary, I’d like to see you in my office in ten minutes.”
“Okay. Let me go lock the doors behind them and I’ll be on my way, Mary tells him.
“Gotcha.” Joe exits.
After I finish listening to what is about to be going on I hurry out of the church doors and run to Henry’s car, get inside, and slam the door shut behind me.
Joe is starting to become more and more controlling and if I don’t stop him now I know I’ll end up like my mother did for not following his orders. But as I said in the church in front of the Lord himself, I don’t care what Joe say’s; I’m not marrying Mary. If I have to pick between her and death, kill my ass. Shit, I’ll pull the trigger for you.
Ever since that night Joe stood there and watched Mary kill my mother he’s been controlling my life. Yes, I said killed my mother, his wife, the backbone of this family, right in front of me, as if she was the sidepiece and Mary was the wife. I’ll never forget the day that she took her away from Henry and I.
I laid my head back and let the scene play out in my mind as I often did whenever I thought of my mother, and how she tried her hardest to protect my brother and I. and how Joe and his sidepiece killed her in cold blood, leaving Henry and I to be raised by the most ruthless beast of them all—Joe Jones.
It was February 13th, a day before Valentine’s Day and also my 15
th
birthday. I remember waiting on Joe to come home from the gym so Henry and I could head to the mall before it closed. They were in a heated disagreement about Mary’s and I situation, which Joe started years before I came into the picture.
This was an every year thing around my birthday. My mother would fight with Joe, but in the end what he said was the order. I hated to see my mother waste her breath on Joe. He always knew how to get her going and he wasn’t worth the drama. But the picture I saw that caused me to have this even bigger hate for Joe and Mary will never leave my head.
“That girl ain't marrying my baby,” my mother Keisha yelled, spitting into Joe’s face.
“Why not Keisha? We had this planned for years.”
“No, you had this planed for years. My daughter is not marrying her. She’s not gay. And I will not allow you to keep planning her life. You made a promise to that bitch. You marry her,” My mother said, emphasizing the word
you
as she spoke with anger in her voice.
“You know what Keisha? I’m tired of your shit.”
“Do something about it. Otherwise shut the fuck up. And I wish you would lay your hands on me. I’ll have your ass rotting away for life,” she said, stepping into Joe’s face even more.
I saw his muscles in his jaws begin to tighten up. I knew the words she was saying were getting to him.
“My brothers have been dying to kill you. Don’t let me grant them their wish, ‘cause you’re taking me there. For the last time my daughter is not marrying her and—.”
Pop! Pop!
Two gunshots went off, causing me to jump behind the couch and hide. Slowly standing, my eyes watched as my mother’s body jerked while blood dripped from her body, soaking up the rug.
“MOM!” I screamed.
“What did you do? What the fuck did you do?” I cried out, as I ran over to my mother, trying to stop the bleeding.
“What the fuck?!” Joe screamed.
“She was disrespectful. No one disrespects you,” Mary said, holding the gun and shaking.
“You bitch!” I tried to hit her with the lamp but Joe caught me.
“Sit the fuck down before you join her!” he yelled at me.
“Come here,” Joe, said reaching out his hands to Mary.
“She disrespected you. No one disrespects you,” was the only thing Mary kept repeating.
“I know she did. I know she did,” Joe replied back, taking Mary into his arms and letting her cry on his shoulder. While moving closer towards the living room table, he grabbed his cell phone.
“Stephanie, I need you to swing by my house ASAP,” he told Stephanie, my mother’s partner.
“And come alone,” he stated before hanging up.
“Try something fancy if you want Harmony, and they won’t be finding your body either,” he threatened as he saw me slide to grab the house phone.
“I hate you. I’ve always hated you. You will pay for this Joe, you and your friend,” I told him, before stomping off towards my room, keeping my eyes on the crime scene and ears to their conversation.
Upon entering I saw Stephanie throw up at the sight that greeted her on the living room floor.
“What the hell happened here?” I heard her asked, while looking around.
“We had a small disagreement.” Joe answered, while he sat the scared Mary down on the couch I had recently left off of.
“But that’s nothing you can’t take care of, right?” he asked, placing his hand on Stephanie’s shoulder.