My Lady Vixen (18 page)

“Tomorrow.”

“Why are you telling me? You never bothered before,” Alexa accused hurtfully.

“I deserved that, Alexa. And I’ll try to answer you as honestly as I can. When I return I want you here for me.”

“I have no place else to go,” she reminded him.

“I’m not referring to just your presence in my house,” Adam explained with difficulty. “I’ve come to realize that you mean a great deal to me, Alexa. I admire your courage, your spirit, and yes, damn it, even your temper.” Alexa looked at him doubfounded, unable to find her tongue. “What I’m trying to say, my darling, is that I love you.”

“Just like that. Adam, and you expect me to believe you?”

“I hope you’ll believe me.”

“What about Gwen?”

“I’ve tried before to explain about Gwen. She means nothing to me. She never did.”

“Yet you were about to marry her when I came into your life.”

“Gwen was part of a plan. I … thought I needed her,” explained Adam.

“And suddenly you find you no longer need her? Amazing!”

“I have you, my love. When I returned to America I thought I’d never see you again. You were to marry Charles and I knew you hated me for what I did to you. I needed Gwen for … for reasons I’m not at liberty to divulge, but certainly not for love.”

“That night I lost our child,” Alexa accused, her pain still too raw to prevent the tremor from entering her voice, “you were going to bed her.”

“I admit it, Alexa, though God only knows I’ve been punished enough for it. But it wasn’t Gwen I wanted, it was you. I had no wish to harm you or my child by forcing my attentions on you. I had planned on visiting a brothel. I was drinking heavily and when Gwen offered herself I recklessly accepted. But I did not do it to deliberately hurt you, never that. Even then I realized I loved you. Gwen was nothing but a poor substitute for the woman I really desired. Don’t you think I’ve cursed my lust over and over since that night?”

Adam’s declaration of love stunned Alexa, robbing her of speech. Could it be that Fox was right all along when he said he felt that Adam loved her? How did he know? Should she believe Adam when she knew him to be undeserving of her trust and love? All these thoughts warred within her as she considered life as Adam’s beloved wife, not just a woman he was forced to marry.

“Alexa, what are you thinking?” He dared to take her
in his arms and when she did not protest, pressed soft kisses on the top of her head. “Do you hate me still? Has anything I said made any difference to you?”

“I think you’re asking too much of me too soon. The baby …”

“We’ll have other children. Lots of them.”

“This one was special.”

“What made it so special?” Adam asked sharply.

“It just was, Adam. Why this cross-examination? Suffice it to say that no matter what the circumstances under which he was conceived I wanted it.” Even though he might have belonged to Fox, she wanted to add but did not.

“So did I, my love. And I wanted you. I still do, desperately.”

“Don’t pressure me, Adam. Leave things the way they are until you return.”

“Will you promise to wait for me?”

“Aye, I’ll be here,” she said slowly.

“I can’t leave without making love to you, Alexa. I need you. I want the memory of you in my arms to live on in my thoughts during the long nights ahead.”

“Do I have a choice?” Alexa asked impishly, suddenly feeling daring. It had been so long since she had been the recipient of Adam’s love. Since her wedding night, to be exact. The thought suddenly titillated and excited her.

“No choice at all.” Adam grinned rakishly, thrilling to her obvious acceptance of his attentions.

His mouth was dry, his breath a hard knot in his throat as he slowly undressed her, kissing each place he uncovered with agonizing thoroughness. When she was completely nude he undressed himself and gently eased her onto the bed, pausing to worship her with his smoky eyes, whispering his love for each part of her body. The turbulence of his passion swirled around her and drew
her inexorably into its vortex, dismayed at the magnitude of her own desire.

His hands moved, gently, touched her breasts, then lowered to the smooth roundness of her buttocks. Gently he touched his lips to hers. His tongue explored the hollow of her slim neck and the crevice between her firm breasts. Then he scooted downward and his lips moved fludly over her thighs, flat stomach, lower, lower … She gasped.

She felt herself drifting, vibrating with heat as his hands gently coaxed her thighs apart. And then time stood still as his hands, mouth and tongue explored the very depths of her, thoroughly, with agonizing slowness. And then ecstasy exploded. Only when she stopped trembling and he felt her fingertips touch the softness of his tawny hair did he rise above her, his manhood hard and throbbing against her thigh. He took her hands, encouraging her to explore, and he groaned in pleasure as she took his lead.

Unable to wait another minute. Alexa looked up, gasping in delight as he slowly entered her, his eyes aglitter in the shadows, shimmering misty pools of gray that reflected his need for her. All restraints burned away as they sought the immediate satisfaction of all shared pleasure. In heated, explosive and vibrant need they moved together, slowly at first, then faster as their mutual desire urged them to greater heights.

Alexa breathed in deep soul-wrenching gulps as his expert thrusts sent her to even greater levels of ecstasy than she imagined possible. Higher and higher they soared until the peak of sensual delight was reached and they exploded in a downpour of fiery sensations. Alexa cried out and Adam answered in long surrendering moans.

Adam held her close as contentment and peace flowed between them. “It will always be like this
between us, my love,” he promised, “if you will allow it.” And then they both succumbed to the deep sleep of satisfied lovers.

Sometime during the night Adam awoke her with long, drugging kisses, his hands gentle and coaxing on her flesh. Soon the flames of passion once again burned within them. Their initial urgency gone, they were able now to take the time to explore endlessly, to arouse, to find the tempo that best suited their needs. As he roused her passion, his grew stronger until he rose above her and claimed her, pressing into her until his magnificent length was totally sheathed and she surrendered completely to his masterful stroking. Afterwards. Alexa was astonished at the sense of fulfillment permeating her slender form.

“Perhaps we’ve begun another family tonight.” Adam smiled in the dark. “Would you like that, my love?”

“I … don’t know, Adam. Not if a child was all that was keeping us together.”

“I love you. Alexa. I’ve hurt you time and again, I know, and all because of a misguided emotion called revenge. I’m asking you now to forgive me.”

For some obscure reason Alexa could not give voice to her feelings. It was almost as if she gained some perverse satisfaction by deliberately withholding her love. But after what they just shared together she came to the realization that a kernel of love for Adam remained somewhere in the compartments of her heart. Should she allow it to take root and grow, thereby fulfilling her promise to Fox? she wondered, emotionally drained. Time would tell, and Lord knows she had plenty of that.

Alexa opened her eyes to the graying darkness of predawn light and knew instinctively that Adam was gone. “Oh, Adam,” she wailed into the empty room. “I
should have told you I loved you before you left!” The admission was dredged from a place beyond logic and reason. From the very beginning she felt they had something special together but his thirst to avenge his father’s death blinded him to her true worth.

Alexa knew that admitting his love had cost Adam dearly; that he had fought against his growing attachment to her and the child she lost. Oddly, she loved him all the more for denying his pride and seeking forgiveness. Come back to me safely. Adam, she silently entreated. Come back to me and let me love you.

Days passed. Alexa had no visitors. None dared come after her fiasco at the General’s reception. Though situated but an hour’s ride from the city, she might as well live in the middle of nowhere. She heard nothing save what gossip the house slaves repeated. Her one consolation was that she had finally met Mary Forbes, the overseer’s young wife. One day she made it a point to ride out to the neat, scrupulously clean cottage Adam allotted to the couple.

Timid, possessing none of the beauty or fire of the slightly younger Alexa, Mary Forbes proved to be a sweet-natured woman who at first was totally awed by Lord Penwell’s lovely wife. Her plain but attractive face, surrounded by a wealth of hair the color of ripe wheat, registered shock the first time Alexa appeared at her door. With a babe in her arms and one hanging on her skirts. Mary stuttered an invitation to take tea which Alexa accepted with alacrity.

While Mary Forbes prepared tea. Alexa played with the children, both boys, age one and three. At first Alexa experienced a pang of sadness when she thought of her own dead child. She often pictured him possessing Adam’s handsome features and tawny hair. But soon she came to enjoy playing with the two little Forbes boys and took to visiting the small cottage once
or twice a week.

Reading also became a favorite pasttime for Alexa. Ensconced in a comfortable chair, she worked her way through Adam’s large, well-stocked library. From Adam she heard nothing. She hoped. General Prevost appreciated his efforts that kept him away from home for long periods of time.

One month passed and still Adam did not return. Through the slave grapevine Alexa learned that Fox and several other privateers were back harassing the British navy after a short absence of a month or two. By now the English were becoming desperate to capture and hang Fox, and many traps had been laid for him, only to be foiled by the wily Fox who lived up to his name admirably. At times Alexa felt a part of her would die should Fox be caught and executed. Was it possible to love two men? Alexa wondered distractedly.

Mac, too, was constantly in her thoughts and prayers, for though she did not love him as she did Adam … or Fox … he was a true friend to her and just as dear. How was it possible to love two men? Alexa reflected as her thoughts led her to both Adam and Fox. Adam’s love brought her happiness and physical joy while Fox’s love bolstered her spirit and fed her courage. Without either of them she would not be a complete woman.

Early in the year 1779, Alexa suddenly became aware that spring was nearly upon her. She could smell it in the fertile earth, see it in the budding trees and foliage turning green before her eyes. Already soft breezes and brilliant sun warmed the days. The slaves were busier than ever readying the soil for planting and Alexa began to miss Adam dreadfully. He had never been gone so long and she began to fear for his safety. She even considered going to General Prevost’s headquarters in Savannah and inquring about him. Then something happened that drastically changed her circumstances.

One night, restlessness rode Alexa mercilessly and she remained downstairs later than usual, prowling the darkened rooms. For some unexplained reason tension prickled along her spine and as the night progressed her unease escalated rather than diminished. Given Alexa’s pensive mood the frantic scratching at the door was almost anticlimactic.

At first Alexa considered calling Jem, who slept off the kitchen, but quickly discarded the idea. Perhaps it was someone with news of Adam, she thought hopefully as she hurried to open the door. Or maybe Fox had returned to visit her. What she found on the other side of the door curdled her blood. Stretched out on the porch in a widening pool of blood lay the battered body of a man Alexa quickly identified as Mac.

Flinging herself to her knees she cradled his head in her arms, calling out his name. Upon examination Alexa realized that the ugly gash on his head demanded immediate attention and she started to rise to get help when she noticed his blood-soaked shirt. Only then did she realize that all the blood surrounding him could not have come just from the head wound alone which was already beginning to congeal.

Gingerly lifting his shirt away from his body she saw what seemed to be a bullet wound in his side, one that could prove life-threatening. With a desperation born of panic, Alexa pressed her ear to his chest and was rewarded with a steady, albeit weak, heartbeat. She hated to leave Mac lying there but it was impossible for her to move him by herself without adding to his injuries.

Alexa ran for Jem, startling the poor man out of a sound sleep. In one swift glance he took in the situation and went for more help. It took three men to carefully lift Mac’s huge body and carry him to one of the spare bedrooms.

“Get Mammy Lou, quickly!” Alexa entreated Jem once they had Mac settled. “Tell her to bring anything she has to heal a serious bullet wound. We can’t let Mac die!”

Jem ran for the woman healer while the other two men carefully undressed Mac under Alexa’s watchul eye. His side was still bleeding profusely and Alexa knew a moment of intense fear. How could one man lose so much blood and still live? Just then Mac began to moan and thrash about.

“Mac! Lie still, you’ll hurt yourself!” pleaded Alexa, tears streaming down her face.

Mac’s eyes opened slowly, alarming Alexa by their glazed look. “Alexa,” he croaked from between parched lips. “Forgive me for coming here. I wouldn’t hurt you for the world.”

“You did right, Mac, truly. I’m going to help you. Please, don’t talk, save your strength.”

“No, let me talk, we both know I might not make it and … and I want you to know what happened.”

“Shh … later, Mac.”

“No, Alexa. Please hear me out.” Alexa nodded grimly as she clung to Mac’s disjointed words. “They laid a trap for us, the British. Always before we escaped, but this time it was different. They wanted Fox badly.”

“You were with Fox? What happened to your own ship? What about the
Lady
A?”

“Your namesake is in Nassau undergoing repairs. She was slightly damaged in a skirmish a month ago. I was so anxious to return to the fray Fox asked me to join him aboard
The Gray Ghost
when he put into port two weeks ago.” He paused for breath and began coughing, alarming Alexa by his pallor and weakness.