Authors: Connie Mason
Adam was gone when Alexa awoke and she experienced the same disappointment that she did all those other times when she had awakened to an empty bed, never certain if her husband would return to her. She was surprised, therefore, to find him not gone at all but in the dining room eating breakfast.
“Good morning,” he said cheerily. “Did you sleep well?” Alexa quirked a slim brow, trying to decide if he was being nasty or merely pleasant. “Have you nothing to say, my love?”
“Adam, I fail to understand you.” Alexa finally said. “One minute you hate me and force yourself on me; the next you are making love to me as if … as if you meant it.”
“I always mean it when I make love to a desirable woman,” he replied blandly.
“You’re a fool Adam,” Alexa said softly. “I’ve never loved anyone but you.”
“I’d be the happiest man in the world if I could believe you, my love,” Adam replied, just as softly. Then he arose abruptly, afraid he had admitted too much, excused himself and left the house.
Alexa smiled mischievously at his departing back. Already she felt a softening in his attitude toward her. If they continued like this it wouldn’t be long before she could tell him about Davie. She missed her baby desperately and even considered spending a day in the country with him. In fact, the idea appealed to her so much Alexa did just that a few days later.
Adam seemed to be caught up during the next several days with his duties as a delegate on the peace treaty commission. He and Mac left early in the morning and returned at dinnertime. He treated her politely during the day and made love to her furiously during the night. He did not try to force her again. There was no need. To
Alexa’s joy she felt him teetering on the brink of total capitulation and lived for the day she would have his love, completely.
It was during one of these busy days in Adam’s life that Alexa took herself off the country to see Davie. She spent so long playing with her baby, who had grown inches since she had last seen him, and filling in Maddy on all that had happened, that she was late getting home. At first Adam thought nothing of it, but Alexa’s flushed face and nervous manner soon aroused his curiosity and he began questioning her.
“Where have you been, my love?”
“Shopping,” she shrugged carelessly.
“Where are your packages?”
“Nothing took my fancy.”
“Are you certain you went shopping?”
“For God’s sake,” interjected Mac, nearly certain he knew where Alexa had gone. “Why the inquisition? Surely Alexa is free to come and go as she pleases.” Adam did not miss the grateful smile Alexa bestowed on Mac.
Adam eyed them both narrowly, his lips turned down sourly. “Are you trying to protect her, Mac? Is there something I should know?”
Mac flushed guiltily, loudly protesting Adam’s insane accusations. Giving Alexa a knowing look, he replied, “I don’t know what you are talking about.”
Glaring hostilely at Alexa. Adam asked pointedly. “Have you taken a lover?”
Alexa relaxed, laughter bubbling up from her throat. “I’m afraid you leave me little energy for a lover, Adam.” Her answer seemed to satisfy him—for the time being.
Two more times during the following weeks Adam returned home early to find Alexa gone, and once again
he suspected her of taking a lover. In fact, he was so convinced she had that he perversely decided to punish her in a like manner.
Adam had not seen Fannie since he returned her to her lodgings that night he made the mistake of bringing her home to dinner. With Alexa now sharing his bed willingly he had grown far too satisfied and complacent, forgetting how she had left him to die. Once again allowing his hot head to rule his heart, Adam unwisely decided to teach Alexa a lesson by using Fannie as an instrument of his retaliation.
Meanwhile, Alexa knew that Adam was growing suspicious of her frequent absences but she couldn’t bear not seeing Davie for long periods of time. She realized that she would soon be forced to tell Adam about his son, and for some reason she no longer found that thought too painful. They had come a long way in the last few weeks and she felt he was beginning to trust her again, perhaps even to love her. And then something happened to change her whole way of thinking.
Alexa inadvertently learned that Adam was being unfaithful to her. That he was seeing Fannie again. Perhaps he never stopped seeing her all these weeks he made love to her as if she were the only woman in his life. She saw him by chance one afternoon as he was entering the theater where Fannie was performing. She was riding in her carriage and asked her coachman to pull off to the side of the road where she might wait and watch. About a half-hour later Adam reappeared with a beaming Fannie hanging on his arm. Alexa was devastated, but nevertheless made her presence known to the pair when she stepped out of the carriage to confront them.
“Alexa!” Adam said, secretly pleased to be found out so soon. He had thought only to squire Fannie around
for awhile until Alexa got wind of it. Gossip traveled swiftly in London and he had no doubt that she would hear of his latest peccadillo from either Mac or one of the servants. “What are you doing here?”
“I could ask the same of you,” Alexa replied with a calmness she struggled to uphold.
“As you can see I’m calling on a … friend.”
“How nice for her,” Alexa replied sweetly.
“Jealous, my love?”
“No more than you,” she replied blithely.
With an enticing swish of her hips Alexa regained her carriage and without a backward glance directed the coachman forward.
“Damn!” cursed Adam, his face mottled.
“Don’t mind her, luv,” Fannie soothed. “Let’s go to my place. I’ll make you forget all about that insipid witch.”
“Insipid!” shouted Adam angrily. “Why that lady is more of a woman than you’ll ever hope to be. She’s proud, courageous, foolishly brave, and … and … magnificent!”
Suddenly Adam became aware that Fannie was staring at him, her mouth wide open. “My god,” he groaned, “what am I saying?” But it was too late to take it back even if he wanted to, which he didn’t. He meant every blessed word he said and he’d be damned if he’d let another man have her. Despite everything she was his alone and would remain his.
Grasping Fannie’s arm painfully he began pulling her along the street. “Where are you taking me?” she demanded to know.
“To your lodgings, unless there is some other place you’d rather go.”
“You’re going back to her.” Disgust colored her words. “I thought you couldn’t stand her!”
“That’s correct, Fannie. I am going back to my wife, and aye, there were times when I couldn’t bear to have her name spoken in my presence. But I never stopped loving her.”
“You were using me,” Fannie accused sulkily.
“I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”
Fannie laughed mirthlessly. “Hurt? Don’t be an ass. I knew where I stood from the beginning. Women like me take their pleasure where and when they can and expect little in return. I enjoyed you, Adam, while it lasted, but the moment I saw your beautiful lady I knew there was little chance for me.”
“You’re a good sort. Fannie, and I admire your spirit. I sincerely apologize for using you,” Adam repeated. Then he reached in his pocket and handed her a sheath of bills. When Fannie made to refuse, Adam persisted. “You deserve it, my dear. If not for me you’d be free to pursue … er … other interests. I wish you well.”
Then he was gone. He and Alexa had much to make up for. He’d be ten kinds of a fool to stand idly by while another man stole the affections of the woman he loved more than his own life.
They had shared too much, traveled too far together to throw it all away.
Trembling with barely suppressed rage, Alexa returned home only minutes before an urgent message from Maddy was put into her hands by Ferdie, the coachman from her country estate. Davie was ill and she must come immediately. It took her less than half an hour to throw her clothes into a bag and tear out of Ashley House as if the devil himself was after her. She paused only long enough to tell Owen where she was going and why, cautioning him to tell no one, not even Adam whom the old man had come to admire. Then she was hurtling down the street with Ferdie whipping up the horses to a brisk trot.
Sometime later Adam entered Ashley House expecting to find Alexa there and was somewhat irritated to learn the house was empty save for the servants. He sat down to wait, and as time passed and Alexa failed to return he began to worry, rising to pace anxiously back and forth, imagining all sorts of things. She might have been upset enough after seeing him with Fannie to leave him. God he was a fool!
Somehow the idea of Alexa leaving him took root in his brain and grew until he pictured her in the arms of another man, some faceless lover who made her cry out and beg to be loved. With those depressing thoughts riding him Adam rushed upstairs to their bedroom, cursing himself for not thinking to check there first. Flinging open the wardrobe. Adam groaned aloud when he noticed several of Alexa’s dresses were missing, just as he suspected. The drawers were equally bare of more intimate articles of clothing. He needed no other proof to concluded that Alexa had left him and he had no one to blame but himself!
Returning downstairs Adam sought to question Owen but learned next to nothing from the servant who had loyally served the Ashleys for many years. “Are you certain you have no idea where my wife could have gone?” Adam questioned, thoroughly disheartened.
Owen lowered his gray head, unwilling to look Adam in the eye as he told the lie Alexa demanded. His first loyalty lay with the Ashleys no matter how much he admired Lord Penwell. “No, my lord, she told me nothing save that she was leaving and would return in a few days.”
“Are you certain she said she’d return?” Adam asked sharply.
“Aye, my lord. I believe she intends to return.” Owen nodded sagely.
“That’s all, Owen,” said Adam, dropping dejectedly into a chair. “Wait, bring me a bottle.”
That’s where Mac found Adam when he returned to the house hours later. Only the bottle was empty and Adam was roaring drunk. “Adam, what in the hell happened?” Mac asked, shaking his head disgustedly. “Owen told me you’ve been sitting here for hours. He also hinted that you were ‘well into your cups,’ his exact
words, I believe. Where is Alexa?”
“Gone,” mumbled Adam, reeling out of the chair. “To her lover, no doubt. Can’t blame her, though. I drove her to it.”
“Adam, you’re not making sense.” Mac sighed exasperated. “Alexa doesn’t have a lover. There’s only one man she wants and that’s you.”
“That might have been true once, Mac, but no longer.”
“Tell me what happened.” Adam’s slurred words were not always clear but somehow Mac pieced together all that had taken place that afternoon. “You’re a bigger fool than I thought.” He shook his head when Adam’s disjointed explanation came to an abrupt halt.
Adam nodded in complete agreement. “I love her, Mac.”
“It’s about time you admitted it.” Mac grinned. “Come on, I’ll help you up to bed. Things will look brighter in the morning.”
But in the morning Adam and Mac received word that the treaty committee was about to reconvene and they were expected at court immediately. The next few days found Adam too busy to do little more than rage inwardly over Alexa’s continued absence. He left the house early and did not return until late, usually too late even for supper.
One night after a particularly exhausting day, Adam was too keyed up to sleep. He longed to feel Alexa’s responsive body beside him, curled up warmly in his arms. If only these damned meetings he was obliged to attend would end, he fervently wished. Almost everything had been agreed upon and the king’s ministers had only to affix their signatures to the document to make it legal, thus freeing him to pursue his own business.
After pacing the floor for an hour Adam suddenly decided he was hungry and made his way through the silent house to the kitchen. A crack of light rimmed the door left slightly ajar and soft voices reached Adam’s ear. Owen and Bertha were seated around the kitchen table drinking a cup of tea before retiring to their own quarters. Adam was about to barge in when he heard Alexa’s name spoken and paused just outside the door to listen.
“The poor man.” Bertha shook her gray head. “It just ain’t right what Lady Alexa is doing to her poor husband.”
“It’s not for us to condemn or condone,” rebuked Owen gently. “Lady Alexa must have good cause to continue with this charade.”
Bertha clucked her tongue, evidently sympathizing with Adam. “She should tell Lord Penwell. He has a right to know about David.”
Adam froze, his imagination running wild. David! Was that the name of Alexa’s lover?
“Mind your tongue, Bertha.” Owen chided. “What my lady does in the country is her business. She’ll be back soon and she can explain to her husband why she took off so suddenly for the Ashley country estate.”
Adam did not wait around to hear the rest of the conversation as he rushed upstairs, needing privacy to ponder the servants’ words and their meaning. At least he now knew where Alex had gone and with whom. He trembled to think that even now she could be making love with some man named David. How long has the affair been going on? he wondered bleakly, suddenly recalling all those occasions he returned home to find Alexa gone. It was galling to think that all the time she was making tender love with him, she was giving herself to another. What a fool he was to trust her again!
The next morning Adam left as usual with Mac, but instead of attending the sessions, he asked to be pardoned for several days, citing a family crisis that called for his immediate attention. After some consultation, he was reluctantly excused and he hurried away leaving a bewildered Mac in his wake. Adam deliberately refrained from telling Mac what he intended for he knew his friend would attempt to restrain him from doing what he must, what his pride demanded. There was little doubt in Adam’s mind that he was on his way to kill the man he found with Alexa, though he had not yet decided what punishment he would mete out to his unfaithful wife.