Read My Life and Other Massive Mistakes Online
Authors: Tristan Bancks
My Life and Other Massive Mistakes (13 page)
Sometimes the stuff that happens in real life is crazier than anything you could make up. I always start my stories with something that actually happened and then mash it up with my imagination. It's a pretty fun way to write. If you want to give it a try, set a timer for five minutes and write a list of as many memories as you can, like I have below. Remember, don't stop writing for the whole five minutes. Don't worry about spelling or neatness. Just get it down. And ⦠go.
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I rememberâ¦
when my sister tried to make me eat Vegemite off her big toe.
trying to frame my dog for a crime he did not commit.
attempting to eat 68 hot dogs in ten minutes.
wearing an ice-cream container on my head to avoid being attacked by magpies.
the time I, Tom Weekly, became a dog kisser.
my nan being in a back-alley brawl with Jack's nan.
Mr Skroop chopping up my football and posting it into my letterbox.
running a mini freak show in the school playground and thinking it would make me rich.
the time Raph Atkins' dog ate the last two Jagrofest birds on earth.
being attacked at KidsWorld by a dangerous gang of vigilante toddlers armed with nappies.
When your five minutes are up, choose your favourite memory and set the timer for another five minutes. Write out that memory in detail but mash in lots of stuff that didn't happen, too, to make it funnier and weirder and grosser. Voila! You have the beginnings of your own âMy Life' story.
Acknowledgements
Special thanks to:
Amber Melody, Hux and Luca, for being my constant companions and my first readers and listeners. Gus Gordon for being a good human and a kooky collaborator. Sophie Hamley, Paul McMahon, Claire Atkins and Raph Atkins for their creativity and support. My teachers, Susanne Bannister, Bill Spence, Les Ridgeway, Belinda Austin and John McKinlay, teachers who valued creativity and nurtured mine. And the team at Random House Australia â Zoe Walton, Brandon VanOver, Bronwyn O'Reilly, Astred Hicks, Dot Tonkin, Julie Burland, Zoe Bechara, Angela Duke, Caroline Ayling and Sarana Emerton, who support me through every step of creating and sharing these stories.
Thanks to Ruby Barker for coming up with the brilliant title, M
y Life & Other Massive Mistakes
. She left the idea as a blog comment here:
http://www.tristanbancks.com/2014/05/my-life-3-book-title.html
. Thanks to the schools and groups who have brainstormed âCranky Dad Syndrome' and âStella Holling: Sugar Rush' with me at live events: St Paul's Grammar School, Leichhardt PS, Westmead PS, Blackheath PS, Gosford East PS, St John the Baptist PS, AIS Singapore, Overseas Family School Singapore, UWC SEA East, Singapore American School, Tara Anglican School for Girls, Wooloowin SS, Shorncliffe SS, Holy Cross PS, Jubilee PS, St Ita's PS, Living Faith Lutheran PS, Ipswich StoryArts Festival, Silkstone SS, Bethany Lutheran PS, Toogoolawah SS, Redeemer Lutheran College, Chapel Hill SS, Charlestown PS, Gladstone Central SS, Star of the
Sea Catholic PS, Gladstone South SS, Mount Larcom SS, Tannum Sands SS, Alkimos Baptist College, Holy Family PS Indooroopilly, Brooklyn PS, Cowan PS, Pottsville Beach PS, Cammeray PS, Gleneagles Secondary College, Yarrilee SS, Sandy Strait SS, St Matthew's Catholic PS Cornubia, Lindisfarne Anglican Grammar, St Francis Xavier PS, Auburn West PS, Umina PS, Woollahra PS, Leura PS, Oatlands District HS, New Town HS, Xavier College Burke Hall, Landsborough SS, Kenilworth CC, Bli Bli SS, Mt Creek SS, Chevallum SS, Our Lady of the Rosary Catholic PS, Gympie East SS, Macgregor SS, Chinchilla SS, Graceville SS, Moggill SS, Stretton SS, Churchie, Camira SS, St Joseph's PS, Nudgee Junior College, Woodcrest SS, Bulimba SS, All Hallows' School, The Springfield Anglican College, Kelvin Grove State College, Somerset Celebration of Literature participants, 2014 Bardon Young Writers Week participants, 2014 LitVids book trailer-making workshop participants, 2014 Newcastle Writers Festival workshop participants and 2014 SLQ Story Lab participants.
Thanks to the following for submitting their CDS ideas: Alim, Auburn, Sage, Paco, Jess, Lucy, Ivy, Archie, Sofia, Patrick, Tia, Shruti, Cassandra, Ceren, Melih, Ershad, Mohammad, Donia, Elif, Ally, Mariam, Malack, Lachlan, Charlotte, Anjali, Johnathan, Stacey, James, Jackson, Natasha A, Tristan, Gayathiri, Beth, Milo, Tara, Alicia, Brody, William, Alex, Hamish, Tahlia, Amanda, Jack, Jordan, Jacey, Breyer, Samuel, Khyl, Emmzy G, Angus (sausages in the remote idea!), Rosie, Eliza, Scarlett, Khyl D, Kade, Davara, James, Hamish, Tara, Jack, Henry, Nicholas, Zach, Chloe, Jordan,
Liron, Holly, Ayan, Elliot, Emmzy, Oliver, Rebecca, Jarn, Kyle, Danny, Fynnlay, Ryan, Hux, Dominic, Tehya, Bailey, Luca, Kohl, Georgia, James, Ryan, Broken-arm Emma, Mat, Jacob, Eliana, Kyle, Brody, Carly, Mason, Alec, Brandon, Mads, Kashalyn, Xavier, Tayla, Taliya, Chris, Ariana, Christos, Vincent, Michael, Oliver, Shruti, Nate, Daniel, Edward, Owen, Baxter, William, Nick, Shaun, Andrew, Lexie, Kyle, Cooper, Levi, Reuben and Deeksha.
And a big thanks to my immature Twitter and Facebook buddies, as well as the crowd at Byron Bay Writers Festival who helped brainstorm the innovative weapons and geriatric escape techniques used in âThe Great Escape'.