My Little Phony - 13
Read My Little Phony - 13 Online
Authors: Lisi Harrison
CLIQUE novels by Lisi Harrison:
THE CLIQUE
BEST FRIENDS FOR NEVER
REVENGE OF THE WANNABES
INVASION OF THE BOY SNATCHERS
THE PRETTY COMMITTEE STRIKES BACK
DIAL L FOR LOSER
IT’S NOT EASY BEING MEAN
SEALED WITH A DISS
BRATFEST AT TIFFANY’S
THE CLIQUE SUMMER COLLECTION
P.S. I LOATHE YOU
BOYS R US
CHARMED AND DANGEROUS: THE RISE OF
THE PRETTY COMMITTEE
CLIQUETIONARY
THESE BOOTS ARE MADE FOR STALKING
MY LITTLE PHONY
ALPHAS novels by Lisi Harrison:
ALPHAS
MOVERS AND FAKERS
Copyright © 2010 by Alloy Entertainment
All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
“Defying Gravity” by Stephen Lawrence Schwartz (Greydog Music). All rights reserved.
Poppy
Little, Brown and Company
Hachette Book Group
237 Park Avenue, New York, NY 10017
Visit our website at
www.HachetteBookGroup.com
First eBook Edition: August 2010
Poppy is an imprint of Little, Brown and Company.
The Poppy name and logo are trademarks of Hachette Book Group, Inc.
The characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
CLIQUE
®
is a registered trademark of Alloy Media, LLC.
ISBN: 978-0-316-13256-5
Contents
CLIQUE novels by Lisi Harrison
THE BLOCK ESTATE THE BARN-TURNED-SPA 2:37 P.M.
THE BLOCK ESTATE THE GUESTHOUSE 3:02 P.M.
THE BLOCK ESTATE MASSIE’S ROOM 9:37 P.M.
THE BLOCK ESTATE THE GUESTHOUSE 9:37 P.M.
THE BLOCK ESTATE MASSIE’S ROOM 10:56 A.M.
WESTCHESTER, NEW YORK SWEETSATIONS CANDY SHOPPE 12:42 P.M.
THE BLOCK ESTATE MASSIE’S ROOM 5:08 P.M.
WESTCHESTER, NEW YORK KARMA CHAMELEON REPTILE & INSECT EMPORIUM 4:11 P.M.
WESTCHESTER, NEW YORK CLEARVIEW MULTIPLEX 7:30 P.M.
THE CRANES’ HOUSE LANDON’S BEDROOM 8:02 P.M.
THE BLOCK ESTATE MASSIE’S ROOM 8:03 P.M.
THE BLOCK ESTATE MASSIE’S BEDROOM 9:09 P.M.
THE GUESTHOUSE CLAIRE’S BEDROOM 10:17 P.M.
OCTAVIAN COUNTRY DAY SCHOOL SOCIAL STUDIES 3:13 P.M.
THE GUESTHOUSE CLAIRE’S ROOM 4:41 P.M.
THE WESTCHESTER MALL SAKS FIFTH AVENUE 3:57 P.M.
THE GUESTHOUSE THE LIVING ROOM 6:15 P.M.
THE GUESTHOUSE THE LIVING ROOM 7:07 P.M.
WESTCHESTER, NEW YORK FORBIDDEN PLANET 11:21 A.M.
THE BLOCK ESTATE THE GUESTHOUSE 7:37 A.M.
OCTAVIAN COUNTRY DAY SCHOOL THE NEW GREEN CAFÉ 12:41 P.M.
THE GUESTHOUSE THE LIVING ROOM 12:53 P.M.
OCTAVIAN COUNTRY DAY SCHOOL THE HALLWAY 3:26 P.M.
WESTCHESTER, NEW YORK THE RANGE ROVER 3:48 P.M.
THE GUESTHOUSE CLAIRE’S BEDROOM 8:36 P.M.
WESTCHESTER, NEW YORK SLICE OF HEAVEN PIZZA SHOP 4:57 P.M.
A PREVIEW OF
BELLE OF THE BRAWL
It takes a village. Thank you, fellow villagers. This is for you.
Friday, December 5th
2:37
P.M.
“I love getting stoned,” Massie Block sighed happily from one of the three massage tables set up in her family’s barn-spa. Heated stones lay on her back, radiating warmth through her entire body like she’d just downed three soy caramel lattes.
“If we were in school right now, we’d be in third-period French,” Kristen Gregory mumbled through the face hole in her massage table. The stones lined her spine like stegosaurus plates.
“
J’adore
snow days,” trilled Alicia Rivera, lying on her back at the end of the row, her long, dark brown hair fanned out behind her head. Her masseuse, Amber, spritzed her with Evian mineral water.
“
Oui, oui,
” Kristen agreed.
“
Woof!
” Bean chimed in from her own mini massage bed.
“Tatiana, how do you say ‘snow day’ in Russian?” Massie asked innocently.
“Shhhhh,” hissed Tatiana. “Talking eees naht relaaacksing. Jash theenk abut a bee-yoo-ti-ful snoh-flok.”
Tatiana claimed to be “frahmm RAH-shah,” but Massie had a feeling her accent was about as real as Heidi Pratt’s new body. Not that it mattered. Her hands were pure gold. And with all those rocks lined up on her back, Massie felt
like the black diamond stretch bracelet on her Christmas list: relaxed, beautiful, and almost a million bucks.
Massie turned her head to look out the barn’s sophisticated yet rustic plate-glass windows. It had snowed more than two feet the night before. The patios were dusted with shimmery powder, and the trees sparkled in the early December sun. It looked as though the MAC fairy had sprinkled pearly White Frost eye shadow over the entire Block estate and then blown it a kiss with her Sugarrimmed Dazzleglass–coated lips.
“CLAAAAAAAAAAAAIRE!” Layne Abeley’s gravelly voice boomed from outside.
“AHHHHH! I’ve been hit!”
CRASH!
Outside, a body slammed against the barn wall, and the spa shook. A high-pitched giggle followed.
“Eh-ma-annoying!” Massie flipped over, her heated stones tumbling to the floor. Her ex-BFF, Claire Lyons, had been squealing and giggling with her new friends all afternoon. Leave it to Claire to find the only ninth-grade girls who thought snowball fights were more fun than high school gossip. It was a total waste of an upgrade.
“Eeeen-hayel the soo-theeng ah-rom-ah,” Tatiana instructed, guiding Massie back down to the table and replacing the rocks. Spicy steam startled Massie’s pores as the masseuse kneaded the tension from her shoulders. But it was a lost cause. No amount of eucalyptus-infused steam could ease the pain of Claire ditching the Pretty Committee for
Layme
Abeley and two fourteen-year-old theater geeks.
Suddenly, the barn’s wooden door flew open. Dylan Marvil rushed in, along with an arctic blast of air. Snowflakes speckled the back of her black cashmere coat like dandruff. Her white-mittened hands grasped the handles of a dozen brightly colored shopping bags, and her cheeks were as red as her hair.
“Where’ve you been?” Alicia sat up, pressing a fluffy green towel against her C-cups.
“Shooooooooooooooppping!” Dylan burped. She set down a cardboard tray full of venti Starbucks hot chocolates and wiped her brown-stache with the back of her mitten. A cocoa-colored skid mark cut across the cashmere. “Ooops!” she shrugged. “Good thing I got a new pair. I cleaned out Neiman’s, Juicy, and Michael Kors. Snow-day shopping is the best.
”
“Point-t-t-t,” Alicia agreed through chattering teeth.
Massie pressed a button on a sleek silver remote. A second later, the electric fire in the stone fireplace ignited.
Dylan tossed her stained mittens into the hungry flames and then shook her crimson locks.
“Nice lice, Dyl!” Kristen cackled. Alicia snickered, her freshly manicured toes dangling just above the heated tile floor.
As Dylan whirled back toward them, her Brazilian blowout whipped around her face. “Don’t even joke! When Megan Lambert got lice, her friends scattered like roaches in a Raid storm.” She stuck her butt out to warm it in the fire’s glow.
“Let’s see what you got.” Massie stood, and once again the pile of rocks cascaded off her warm back and crashed to the ground. Bean bolted under the glass coffee table.
“Nyyyetttttt!” Tatiana let out a yelp as one of the rocks bounced against her toe. “Off! Off!” she insisted, waving Kristen and Alicia to their feet. With a grimace, she nodded at the other masseuses, who quickly folded up their tables, packed up their oils, picked up their rocks, and followed her out into the cold afternoon.
“
Danke
very much,” Massie called after them sweetly, putting on a fluffy white robe.
The three women responded by slamming the barn door shut.
“Isn’t
danke
German?” Kristen giggled.
“Oh, whatevs,” Massie shrugged. “They dan-kare.” She padded over to Dylan’s pile of bags and pulled out a baby blue cashmere hat with earflaps and tassels. It looked like something Kuh-laire would wear. With a wince, she dropped it back in the bag. “You really did buy
everything
.”
“I maxed out my card,” Dylan admitted. “But it was totally worth it. I got open-toed booties in faux leopard
and
faux cheetah.”
“Ohhh,” Alicia whine-pouted. “I’m faux jealous.” Her shoulders were covered with spiderweb-like indentations from lying down on the massage table. “I can’t buy anything right now. My parents told me they would send me to the Spanish Riviera for a week if I didn’t shop from Thanksgiving to Christmas.” She buried her nose inside Dylan’s Saks bag
and inhaled a Ralph Lauren sweater-coat. “Ahhhh! It’s better than new puppy smell.”
Bean lifted her little black head and growled.
“She was only kidding, B,” Massie assured her pup, applying a coat of Pineapple Spice Glossip Girl to the pug’s mouth. The pug licked it off and then sneezed. “My parents would
never
shop-block me.”
“Must be nice,” Kristen said with a frown.
“It is,” Massie beamed.
THUNK!
THUNK!
THUNK!
Three snowballs hit the windows, slithering down the glass like snot. A peal of high-pitched laughter followed the barrage. Kristen and Alicia threw on thick robes, and the four girls raced to the windows.
Claire, dressed in a My Little Pony cap and a bright red puffy coat, was pelting snowballs at Layne and their new friends—a willowy blonde and a petite brunette.
“They’re ruining my snow!” Massie stared at the once pristine yard, which was now covered with LBR boot prints.
“Cheap footwear leaves the most horrible tracks,” Dylan sighed. “Like the abdominal snowman.”
“You mean
abominable
snowman,” Kristen corrected.
Dylan pinched some snow off her fluffy hood and dropped it onto Kristen’s head. “Takes one to know one.”
“Ew, lice!” Alicia giggled, pointing at Kristen’s scalp. “Let’s go before we catch it,” she joked, backing away.
Kristen shook her blond hair in Alicia’s face.
“Ahhhhhh!”
Massie drew an
X
on the foggy window, her finger squeaking on the pane. “It’s too bad we can’t give Claire lice. Maybe her ah-nnoying friends would leave.”
THUNK.
THUNK.
THUNK!
The girls jumped back as another round of snowballs smacked into the barn.
Todd dashed in front of the window and bowed, proud to claim responsibility for the latest round.
Massie whipped her iPhone out of her robe pocket. “Unless…”
“Is there a lice app?” Kristen asked, twisting her damp hair into a sloppy bun.
“I wish,” Massie smirked, her breath clouding the window as she coaxed her brain into constructing the ultimate plan—a plan that would accomplish her sinister goal without implicating her sinister mind. Seven breath clouds later, she had it. And sent an urgent text to Claire’s younger brother.