My Mind's Eye (Pub Fiction #1) (2 page)

Plumes of dark smoke are flooding the halls. I can feel the temperature rising, hear glass shattering in the distance, the crackle of flames seemingly closing in around us; it sounds almost like bacon frying in a pan.
We need to get out of here, now
.

“I’m really scared. Claire, please, we need to hurry; we need to run.”

“Dammit, Kat, stay calm,” she orders. “Keep walking, ease up your pace; you’re gonna trip us. Please, just follow my lead,” she scolds as she opens the door to the stairwell. Finally.
Let’s hope we can hurry the rest of the way.
“You’re right, Claire; I’m sorry. I’m honestly trying.” There are a few more people in the stairwell with us, all moving in the same direction. No one seems to be talking as we all file in a line behind each other. Somehow, Claire and I lead the way.

“Claire, please, can we go faster?” I beg her as images of people getting trampled on take shape in my mind and I hear a few more people moving in to join our evacuation efforts. “It’s really getting to me. I can’t help thinking about getting trampled by the people behind us; please, can we just let them pass?”

“Kat, just stay close and try not to think about it. I’m going to get us out of here. No one’s going to trample us; everyone is just trying to get out safely. Just focus on me. I got you. Please, just trust me, Kat.” She is pleading with me, knowing I’m about to lose it.

As we walk down a few more flights of stairs, the smoke is intensifying, making it difficult to breathe and causing us to cough. “Cover your mouth with your sleeve, Kat,” Claire commands, and I do it without question. Claire continues to guide us down the stairs when there’s a loud crash in the direction we’re headed. A huge beam, engulfed in flames, falls from the rafters and blocks our escape route. As it lands, it gives off bright sparks. The lights flicker, and a terrible screeching sound begins blasting from the ceiling above us.

“Fucker!” Claire yells while I scream, the severity of the situation hitting me front and centre. “We’re gonna have to turn around.”

We push through the smoky hallway, and face a growing line of people. My ears are quickly overloaded with sounds of others in the stairwell. People are starting to push one another, and I hear them crying, begging for us to hurry up.

“We’re all going to die,” some girl yells.

Oh my God! The dorms are on fucking fire!
We’re in a fire!
Watching the scene as it unfolds, my heart accelerates and my palms sweat as I fall deeper into hysteria. Claire is coughing deeper, and, oh shit,
it’s getting harder to catch my breath…

“Fuck,” Claire blurts her voice stern, but steady.
How the hell is she handling this so well?
“We need to go back up a floor and leave through the other exit door. I think I know how to get us out…I do; yeah, it’ll work,” she says to herself then grabs my hand, forcing me to follow as she leads us back in the direction from which we came. I can’t help but note just how brave my friend is. I almost smile at the thought.
Almost
. “Follow me, Kat. Stay close, okay?” She stops us for a second, to ensure I’m on the same page. “Others will have the same problem; it might get crazy in here soon. I don’t know how many of us are still inside, but with this way blocked, people are going to really be frenzied trying to get out. And I don’t wanna get separated,” Claire instructs me through a hacking cough as she tries to pick up our pace. “We’re almost there. Don’t you dare give up on me, Kitty Kat,” she says, using my nickname while opening the door leading to the fifth floor hallway. I’m starting to lag behind her a bit as my mind reels at the severity of the situation. When we step in to the hall, we’re assaulted with the smells of melted paint and scorched wood.

“Claire, we’re not going to make it! We should run for it!” I shout as the lights start flickering on and off above our heads again. I’m following so close to Claire that I can feel her hair tickling the bridge of my nose. The smoke is black, oily and thick; I’m thinking we may need to crawl the rest of the way. You know the saying ‘stop, drop, and roll,’ well, I feel it’s getting that bad in here.

“Made it.” Claire says, and offers me a small smile as she enters the door to the stairway opposite to the blocked one.

“Please don’t be blocked. Please don’t be blocked,” I chant in a low voice as I move to follow Claire down the new set of stairs.

“Kat, stop! Hush with that. It’s not helping. I’m scared too, okay? But we need to focus on getting the hell outta here. No more talking. We got this.” I nod. At her confession I become more worried, because up until now, Claire hasn’t acted panicked or afraid.
That’s my job
.

Claire continues to lead us down the stairs without another word. After what feels like forever, we’re barging through the emergency doors on the bottom floor.
Oh thank you, sweet baby Jesus
. Finally, we arrive safely on the sidewalk, metres away from the building.

The early morning air is cool on my skin despite the heat radiating from the fire. The layer of dew covering the grass only helps to coat a layer of chills over my arms and legs as I take in everything around me. Standing in my bare feet obviously isn’t helping the situation either.
Maybe I should start sleeping with socks on.

I can hear the sounds of sirens in the distance, and I see our campus security is doing all they can to contain and deal with the situation until the emergency response vehicles arrive. They really can’t do a lot other than crowd control and contacting all of our families. The air smells like a mix of spring laced with that horrible melted plastic smell. People are scattered all over the perimeter in small groups, eyes wide, and mouths agape just like us. I just can’t believe it.

“God, that was fucking crazy shit,” Claire yells over the approaching sirens through a harsh set of coughs, dropping my wrist from her strong hold. She trembles, her face flushed and covered with a sheen of sweat.

“You were amazing, Claire. I can’t even…what happened?” I ask with a bit of a wheeze.

Claire wipes her eyes with her palms. “I heard the alarms go off, but it took me a second to understand what was happening. Then someone was yelling:
‘Fire! Fire!’
I opened the door a bit to see what the hell was going on, and that’s when I caught a whiff of smoke. I started to panic, but knew I had to get us out of there as fast as I could. It was scary, Kat,” she says, tears streaming down her face. “I was yelling and shaking you. Jesus, Kat. Seriously, sleep like the dead much? I was really starting to worry there for a few minutes. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do; you wouldn’t budge. I really can’t believe how deeply you were sleeping. Especially with those alarms going off like that, it’s not like you. Are you all right?” Claire whisper-yells to me as we stand in front of our dorm, the glowing flames of the blaze reaching out of almost every window. I can see the fire’s glow reflecting off the students as we all stand watching.
God that fire spread fast
.

I half listen to her as she continues, but I’m stuck thinking:
Why didn’t I hear the alarm?
I’m usually such a light sleeper. I barely sleep, ever.

Huge angry flames engulf our residence. Each flicker is a slow, powerful movement intent on taking over everything in its path. Windows shatter as the flames reach higher and higher, and smoke fills the night sky. Seething inch by molten inch, this inferno is swallowing most, or rather
all
, of our belongings.
Damn, I hope everyone made it out safely.

“Shit!” I mutter more to myself than to Claire, but she catches it anyway.

“What?” she asks.

My Imovane.

I have suffered from insomnia since my first year of university. My doctor diagnosed me with what is commonly known as Primary Acute Insomnia. Which, lucky for me, means it’s not a result of a medical condition such as asthma or cancer. My doctor informed me it’s likely the result of having elevated anxiety levels, which, in my case, makes complete sense. I am, and always have been, a bit of what people refer to as “a stress ball, uptight, worry wart.” Or whatever you want to call it. I’m a stressed-out person. According to Claire, if I were to become a Transformer, I would be called Stressor.

Since the end of first year it’s just gotten worse. By my second year, having realized my sleep issues weren’t going away and weren’t exactly normal either, I consulted my doctor. The other good thing about Primary Acute Insomnia is that it comes and goes; some weeks are better than others, so I’m not always a walking zombie. This is also why I pick and choose when I take a pill. I’m not a big fan of taking a sleeping aid, as it really makes me groggy the next day and I don’t like the idea of becoming dependent. I usually try not to take one unless it’s been a rough two or three nights and I know I need the help.

“Last night, I took one of the sleeping pills Doctor Benson prescribed for me,” I say, shaking my head more at the irony of the situation than the fact it’s crazy how a little pill can pack such a punch. “Of all the times I decide to take one, this happens. It’s been a few days now since I’ve had any sleep, so I figured I should be well-rested for the trip home.”

“Well, that explains it. Maybe you should see about getting a lower dose, ’cause, girl that shit knocked you out!” Claire jokes, clearly trying to make light of the situation. “Thank God I didn’t stay at Laurie and Jenn’s last night like I had planned. I would hate for anything to have happened to you. I can’t ever imagine…” She whispers the last bit, but I catch it. Her words impact me immediately.

What?

Sirens, accompanied by flashing red and blue lights, approach on the horizon, only solidifying the gravity of the situation. My ears catch the voices of other people in the vicinity; more coughing, crying, and attempts to soothe one another. There are now hundreds of our fellow students here on the sidelines in the middle of the night, gaping in shock at the reality of this situation. This fire is sure to change all of our lives.

As I stand beside Claire, waiting for the firefighters, I distantly hear her go on and on about how they’d better be hot. I know she’s trying to brighten the mood; however, all I can think about is what could have happened to me tonight if Claire hadn’t been home. Goosebumps settle over my skin, as I shudder at the thought.

The fire’s glow radiates from the building and I can almost feel the blaze as its heat kisses my skin.
I could still be in there
. That’s when I feel it, when the full impact of her words hit me like a ton of bricks.

Suddenly, I’m having a hard time catching my breath. “I…what?” I’m gasping, unable to get the words out. “What do you mean imagine? Oh my God, Claire! What if you weren’t home? What if I didn’t wake up?”

My heart is beating so fast I can feel its heavy pounding echoing in my ears. The anxiety slamming its way in overwhelms me, consuming my thoughts. I reach for my chest to try and lull the panic that is taking over. Teetering in my stance, everything begins to fade. I feel weak, dizzy.
Fuck, I can’t breathe
. I bend over, trying to even out my breathing, my thoughts. It’s no use. The repercussions are too much for me to bear. Then, by some small stroke of luck, before succumbing to its power, giving in and allowing it to take me over completely, I’m pulled tightly into a familiar set of arms. Arms that demand I fight, arms that offer support, comfort. And, thank goodness, it’s enough. Slowly, I regain control as a sense of calm washes over me. I silently thank the ‘best friend’ gods for giving me Claire, who is always there for me. Especially tonight.

“Kat, I didn’t mean anything by it. I was just thinking out loud. Fuck, you need to calm down. Take a deep breath, just try and focus.” Claire faces me, mimicking how I should take calming breaths. “Oh, Kat, shit, I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. I’m upset. I was just rambling. You need to keep taking big, calming breaths, Kat, please.” I can tell she’s upset, but it doesn’t help me. I still can’t quite seem to stop all of the what ifs from creeping into my mind.

Finally, after what feels like forever, I’m able to even out my breathing. Thank goodness for Doctor Benson teaching me—or rather forcing me—to learn those breathing exercises designed to help me relax. He said to use them on nights when I’m feeling a bit like Stressor, but don’t want to take the Imovane. Doctor Benson had warned me on my last visit that if I continue down this path, not only will I need a sleep aid, but he might have to insist on adding an anti-anxiety pill into the mix.

“I’m going to be all right, Claire. I just had a bit of a panic attack, but I’m okay. I’m feeling better. I know you didn’t mean anything by it. I just couldn’t stop the scary thoughts from getting to me. Fuck, it’s like a feeling of doom took me over,” I tell her. “But, honestly, I’m fine.”

Claire squeezes me closer to her while we stand side-by-side, staring as the firefighters make their way closer to battle the blaze, which has now engulfed everything in a mass of amber light that I can imagine is being seen for miles. A blaze which I could have still been stuck inside of. I shake my head to rid myself of the thought. Again, I think:
Thank God for Claire.
I can’t seem to shake that train of thought from my mind or the hope that this night doesn’t end as a tragedy for anyone. I silently pray that everyone is safe tonight.

While we’re waiting to give our statements to the police, Claire smiles and says, “Well, Kat, as you know, I like to find the silver lining to everything. I think the fact that we just finished our exams and it’s summer vacation is a huge lucky break.”

“You’re right, Claire. I can’t begin to think of where the hell we would have lived or how we would have been able to study while we finished the year, and how we’d replace our stuff—” I start rambling, but Claire is quick to cut me off.

“Jesus, Kat, stop. You’re gonna make yourself have another panic attack. Slow down on all those ideas of yours. None of it matters. Your parents will be here soon, I’m sure security got a hold of them by now, and we’ll have a few months to deal will all the aftermath. Breathe, Kitty Kat. I was just saying we were lucky to be going home for the summer, so we don’t have to deal with this shit right now. I wasn’t trying to make you go crazy with those thoughts of yours.”