My Once and Future Love (35 page)

Most of the teens were sweet and I enjoyed
seeing them meet their idol at events. Jacob included a hug with
every autograph, sending girl after girl bouncing off to scream
with her friends.

The next stop was London and a big deal, with
the second greatest album sales to the US release. I picked up Mrs.
Lindsey and sat with her during the concert.

She winced at another round of cheers from
the audience. “They really love him, don’t they?”

“Like I can’t describe. Are you enjoying the
show?”

“Yes,” she yelled over the crowd. “Though I’m
regretting leaving home without ear plugs.”

“Yeah, I always have them unless I’m
backstage.”

“Funny how I didn’t mind when I was their
age,” she said. The next song started, a quieter melody, and the
noise level reduced.

I escorted her backstage while the band
pretended to leave before the encore. It was safer than trying to
move that direction once the show ended. I showed my pass to
Reggie.

“Go on back, Miss Beth.”

“Reggie, this is Jacob’s mother. Reggie is
chief of security and a total teddy bear inside, but don’t spread
it around.”

She shook his hand. “Your secret is safe with
me. Thank you for looking after my son and his friends.”

“It’s my pleasure. Nice to meet you, Mrs.
Lindsey.”

We continued into the tunnels of the arena
and I led her behind the stage where she could watch the encore.
Simone walked out for the duet on the last song wearing a corset
and low-rider skin-tight jeans, cleavage spilling all over the
place.

“Maybe we should head back to Jacob’s
dressing room so he doesn’t miss you,” I suggested.

“I’d like to see the show to the end,” she
said.

Okay… I cringed, knowing the sexy
choreography Simone used for the song. The point of her character
in the duet was to be all over him and she was really good at it.
The last note played and Jacob said something in her ear while the
crowd exploded in cheers and applause. They bowed and ran off stage
opposite of us.

“Well. That was…”

“All part of the show. Thirsty? I have a full
cooler in the dressing room.”

“Please. Lead the way.”

Whoops and jogging footsteps followed us. The
band was amped and rightly so—it was an amazing gig. I got Vivian
comfortable, then quickly completed my job of handing out water to
the boys and collecting their sweaty costumes for the laundry
service. Jacob was finally in his dressing room when I got
back.

“Hey, Bethie! Mum was just tellin’ me how you
looked after her tonight.” He dropped his sweaty shirt on the
floor. I handed him his change of clothes on a hanger and he went
in the bathroom. “Can you believe she’d never seen one of my
professional gigs ‘til now?”

“It’s the first time you’ve played London,
dear.”

“Yeah, yeah. Planes are wonderful inventions,
Mum.”

“Jacob, we need to get you to the limo before
we’re boxed in.”

He came out newly dressed. “I know, I know.
The meet and greet is at the hotel. You’ve reminded me five times
today, Bethie.”

“Never know what’ll stick,” I teased.

He rolled his eyes but he was smiling, too
happy with his performance to get grumpy. I shouldered his bag of
primping crap, grabbed the celebratory flowers I could carry, and
led them to the exit. Reggie joined us, always on the look-out for
a sneaky fan that managed to find their way where they shouldn’t.
Flashbulbs went off before I got Jacob inside the limo, but we left
the venue without incident. There were other minions taking care of
the rest of the band the same way, but he was the biggest draw.

Vivian looked a bit disturbed seeing his fame
first-hand. Maybe overwhelmed was a better word. You could know
someone had thousands or millions of admirers, but until you heard
the screams and pushed through the crowds, you couldn’t truly
understand the force of nature behind stardom. Jacob took her
hand.

“Glad you came, Mum.”

She smiled at him. “Me, too. It was an
excellent performance. I’m proud of you.”

He kissed her hand. “Thanks.”

It was an intimate family moment and I looked
away out the window at the passing London scenery. Envy stabbed my
gut.

Once at the hotel, Jacob was taken to the
meet-and-greet room and I escorted Vivian up to his suite to wait.
I was tired, but I couldn’t go to bed until Jacob did. It was
really late when the last fan had received their autograph and fan
club gift bag, and I could get him up to his room. There was a note
from Vivian saying she went home to bed and would call him in the
morning.

“Thanks for looking after her tonight, Beth.
Her anonymity is important to her, so I’m glad she was able to have
a good time.” He looked tired, bags starting to form under his
eyes.

“You’re welcome. One part of my job I don’t
mind doing.”

He touched my shoulder. “Well, you’re doin’ a
great job. Couldn’t make all this work without you.”

“Remember that when I want time off.”

He cracked a grin. “Okay.”

****

Simone became one of the guys, being just as
rowdy and raunchy as the band when they wound down back at the
hotels, while I continued as Good Ol’ Reliable.

Taking care of five men definitely convinced
me I didn’t want more than one child should I ever reproduce, I’ll
tell you that. They were loud, smelly, crude slobs and so used to
me by now they no longer censored their behavior when I walked in
the room. The less said about walking in on Bob with a groupie, the
better. But, despite running on five hours of sleep a night and
buckets of caffeine, I was enjoying the tour, and seeing bits of
Europe. Wish I had time to explore, but at least I managed a few
pics for my scrapbook. I still carried a disposable camera in my
purse.

Yeah, it was going great, until
Amsterdam.

We had a layover of a day there on the
schedule, a bit of rest, I guess. After a day at museums, I went to
Jacob’s room. “Hey, you want to join me for d--”

Simone was handing him a smoke. A bottle of
tequila and two shot glasses were on the coffee table. The air was
hazy and smelled of burnt rope, and he wasn’t wearing a shirt. I’d
interrupted a private party.

“Hey, Beth. Join us,” she said. She was the
type to wear a sheer shirt over a bright-colored bra, and her
miniskirt was indecently short.

“Yeah, Bethie, join us.” He smiled at me,
blinking slowly.

“Are you
high
?”

He exhaled a stream of smoke. I grabbed the
joint from his fingers and snuffed it out in the ashtray.

“You. Out,” I said, pointing at Simone.

She shrugged and whispered something in
Jacob’s ear, making him shiver, then stood from the sofa. “Later,
handsome.” I heard the door open and shut behind me.

“You’re such a wet blanket, Bethie.” He
pouted like a five-year-old.

“I know. Shower. Now.” I put the bottle in
the cabinet of the wet bar and set the glasses in the sink, then
washed the joint down the drain.

He wrapped around my body from behind,
startling me. “Will you join me? I love when you’re wet,” he said,
nuzzling my neck. “I still dream about you.”

He kissed and nibbled in all the right
places. Oh god… With his arm wrapped tight around my shoulders, my
arms were pinned to my sides. One hand slid under my sweater,
teasing my tummy.

“I miss waking up with you.” Great--stoned,
horny, and nostalgic. “Why’d you leave me, Bethie?” The question
almost came out as a sob.

“You can’t--”

He turned me around and kissed me, clinging
to my body in desperation. Why did he have to touch me every time
he was intoxicated? No one could break my heart like he could. And
I wanted it, him, this…how sick was that?

He cupped my face in his hands. “Please…” His
eyes brimmed with tears.

“I can’t trust you, Jacob,” I whispered. “I’m
sorry.”

He dropped his arms and shuffled toward the
bathroom. Never seen him so dejected and it was all my fault.

I called room service to order supper and
collected my composure.

When the food arrived, the shower was still
running. I went to investigate—the door was left ajar. He was
huddled on the shower floor, the water long gone cold.

“Jacob!” I turned the water off and lifted
his head.

He blinked at me. “I think I fell
asleep.”

Thank God he was alright. Grabbing one of the
big bath sheets, I wrapped it around him and coaxed him out of the
tub. He sat on the toilet lid. I dried his hair with a smaller
towel.

“You need pants.”

“Okay.” At least he was an agreeable
stoner.

He put on a pair of sweats while I wheeled
the food cart into the bedroom.

“A good meal will warm you up and then you’ll
sleep this off.”

“Beth? Do you even like me anymore?”

“Sometimes.”

“Stay?”

Sighing, I sat on the bed with him and helped
him eat. “Do you know what you took?”

“Just alcohol and a joint…I think…”

I nodded. He didn’t have enough experience
with drugs to know if she laced the pot with anything, thank
God.

“Promise you won’t get high again?”

He nodded and accepted another forkful.
Honestly, I doubted him remembering this conversation tomorrow. He
was barely awake.

When he dropped off, I turned out the light
and wheeled the cart to the hall.

Once safely in my room, I could fall apart,
and did. God, this was so messed up. All we did was hurt each
other. I didn’t recognize him or myself compared with the kids we
used to be.

****

Predictably, Simone’s assistant found Jacob
helping her out of her costume the next night. He wanted his next
distraction and I’d probably driven him to it.

They rocked out hard and partied hard,
creating great publicity but lousy colleagues. I knew she was using
him, the band knew she wasn’t good for him, but Jacob was having
too much fun living the cliché. It wasn’t safe to open closed doors
around those two.

By the time we reached Moscow, my escape
clause was looking pretty good.

Someone knocked on my hotel room door.
“Yeah.”

Bob entered. “I found this in Simone’s crap.”
He held up a plastic baggie.

“You went through her luggage? Bob,
that’s--”

“It’s coke, Beth. You need to stage an
intervention before she gets Jake hooked.”

“
Me?
You’re his best friend.”

“He listens to you.”

I shook my head. “No he doesn’t. Not
anymore.”

He came two steps closer, looking determined.
“Beth, you know what this shit does to people. Anyone in L.A. does.
You wanna see Jake in rehab?”

“Don’t put this on me.” My judgment certainly
couldn’t be trusted anymore. “Maybe that would be best for him.
These days, it won’t even hurt his career, it’s so common.”

“It’s that bitch. Get her out of his life and
he’ll straighten out on his own. He was doin’ really good before
they got chummy.”

“You liked her well enough as a drinking
buddy, Bob. Forgive me if I don’t believe the change of heart.”

He glared at me. “There’s a difference
between winding down with a few beers and doin’ drugs, Beth. I
haven’t known Jake as long as you, but I care, okay? He’s like a
brother as well as a damn good singer and I’ll go to Hell for him
before I see some whore bring all this down on our heads. Will you
back me up if I go to the tour manager?”

“Back you up for what?”

“Kicking her off the tour.”

I winced. “That won’t go over well. She’s a
hit.”

“And she can stay one if she knows what’s
good for her and goes quietly. Got no problem with her
performance—she’s talented—but the drugs have to go.”

“Okay…you’re right. Do you want to talk to
Jacob first?”

He shook his head. “He’ll just fight us. He
doesn’t see what’s going on, the stubborn idiot.”

“Yeah.” I sighed. “Okay, take point.”

He opened my door and I could see he was
going to the manager right now. This wasn’t going to be pretty;
especially when Jacob found out we went behind his back.

****

The level of betrayal he felt couldn’t be
measured. Beth didn’t surprise him, but his
mates
. The
blokes supposed to have his back. The whole lot of ‘em sold him out
and butted in where they weren’t welcome.

Jacob wouldn’t call Simone a girlfriend, per
se, but she understood him, wanted the same things. He liked her
and he cared and they shipped her off without giving him the chance
to say goodbye. Then stuck him with a twenty-four hour nanny—sorry,
bodyguard
—to watch his every move. Couldn’t think without
the man bein’ right there!

As if he wasn’t old enough to make his own
decisions.

Yeah, he had fun. Yeah, he got wasted a few
times. Sure, he got wrapped up in the sex and smoke and
distraction, but he was still gettin’ the job done. Fillin’ arenas
and sendin’ home happy fans.

“Back off my fucking heels or so help me
God--”

“Sorry, Mr. Lindsey. Just doing my job,”
Reggie said.

Jacob would’ve taken a swing at that too-calm
face if the man didn’t have fifty pounds on him. “When is my
sentence over, then?”

“When we get back to the States, Mr.
Lindsey.”

“Well, can I at least take a piss without you
watchin’ me?”

“Jacob…”

He rounded on Beth. “Don’t you start. Don’t
you bleedin’ talk to me.”

She blinked and he saw the hurt in her face
before she masked it. “Reggie has orders from on high. This
situation isn’t his fault.”

“It’s mine, then?”

“You’re not baiting me into an argument
again, Jacob.” She left the room, the door latching with a quiet
click.

“Sir, may I speak freely?”

“What?” he snapped.

“Miss Beth has done her best by you since the
day she started. I don’t appreciate you speaking to her like that.
She’s a fine lady, unlike some.”