My One True Love (3 page)

“Yup.
I’ll bring the firewood in if you’ll get it started.
Second cabinet on the right.”
Without waiting for her to say another word, he walked outside without the protection of his gloves or hat. The cold seeped into his bones and reminded him that being numb was better than feeling.

In less than a single day, the woman he’d always loved would belong to someone else. Jason wasn’t sure what to do anymore.

Chapter Four

“I found some…” The words died on Liz’s lips as she came down the attic steps and Jason was nowhere in sight.

With a heave, she placed the cold box from the attic on the couch and opened it up. The smell of dust and old cardboard met her nose. Liz pulled the string of clear Christmas lights out. It would be pretty to have them on the mantle. Valentine’s Day was a hopeful holiday; she’d always loved to use it as an excuse to bring some color into a dull, gray wintery world. She wasn’t doing anything romantic for her and Jason.
No, of course not.
Decorating the cabin was strictly for her benefit.

“You remember the last time we did this?” Jason’s rumbling voice sounded behind her.

Liz didn’t look up. Instead, she remembered eight Valentine’s Days ago when Jason gave her an engagement ring. Inside a perfect, red rose was the small diamond she knew he’d worked all summer for the year before. That night was magical for them both.

Swallowing past the lump in her throat, she turned to look at him. Her breath hitched at the sight before her.

He’d showered and shaved. He looked like the man who'd given her that ring. The man she'd loved.
And still loved, even though she didn't want to.
He leaned against the door frame with a confidence most men could only dream about. His full lips tilted upward at her look of shock.

He held his hands out to present himself. “I decided that I didn’t like being referred to as a goat.”

Liz gave him a small smile as she tried to take a few deep breaths and coax her heart into a slower rhythm. Time had only made him more handsome. Laugh lines around his eyes crinkled at her when she still didn’t speak. She could smell the humid, piney aftershave he’d put on, emanating from the steamy bathroom.

“Is it that bad, Lizzie?” he asked.

“You haven’t changed at all.”

“You used to tell me I was pretty hot, so I’m going to say that’s a good thing.”

“Yeah,” she whispered.

With one foot, he pushed away from the door frame and walked over to her. His scent preceded him, and she closed her eyes and inhaled.
Nothing
about him had changed. That same woodsy smell he’d branded all his own still had the power to make her knees go weak. The dimple she’d always loved flashed at her from the corner of his lips.

“I see you went looking for lights. Like the night I proposed.”

“
Mmm
,” Liz muttered. She hadn’t been doing it intentionally, but he was right. Her subconscious automatically linked Valentine’s Day with white, sparkling lights, covered with little red plastic hearts like he’d covered the gazebo in when he’d asked her to marry him. Her eyes opened. He stood directly in front of her but didn’t touch her as he reached past her into the box. Somewhere during the last few minutes, she’d dropped them.

“These look familiar,” Jason mused and lifted the string of lights to inspect them. “Judging the fact you’re white as a sheet tells me they look familiar to you, too.”

“I…I think I’ve seen them before, somewhere.”

Jason nodded. “I still have it, you know.”

“What?” Liz’s breath hitched; she was intrigued yet terrified to hear what “it” was.

“Your ring.
Your mom gave it back to me after she found it in your bedroom. I wanted to pawn it, but sometimes, I still look at it to remind myself of better times.”

“Why haven’t you married, Jason?” It was a stupid question, but she had to know. An unseen force in her soul pushed the words out of her mouth as if she had no control over her own body.

He fiddled with the lights in a nervous gesture then shrugged. “I haven’t fallen in love with anyone else.”

Liz realized all over again the pain he must have gone through. She’d never fully allowed herself to think about the consequences of her actions, but now, as he stood before her with a sadness she’d never seen before haunting his eyes, she knew it had been much harder on him than she ever imagined. Somewhere along the way she’d convinced herself that Oakley was what he wanted. Now she wasn’t so sure.

“I’m sorry, Jason,” she said in a voice barely above a whisper.

He bit his lower lip and looked away. “I don’t think about it much.”

She smiled. If he thought about it half as much as she did, he was just as consumed with it as she was.
“Liar.”

Jason grinned. “Yeah, I am.”

“I really am sorry. I was selfish and went on with my life. I thought you would rather stay here than be with me.”

“You make me sound like a martyr.”

“No. I mean, I dealt with it in my own way, but when I left, it was what I wanted. If I had thought you’d come with me, we might be down a different road now.”

“But we’re not.”

“Nope.”

“And you’re getting married tomorrow.”

“Yes.”

He wrenched away from her, tossing the lights back into the box. He walked into the kitchen. “Did you make the hot cocoa?”

She hesitated at the change of subject. “Yes.”

She watched as he busied himself pouring the hot chocolate. Her heart ached to go to him and make things right. When she was honest with herself, she knew Jason was the one to rescue her for a reason. She couldn’t get married until she resolved her feelings for him.

And she wasn’t married yet. Tonight, she would make sure there were no doubts left in her mind about Jason. When she walked down the aisle to Patrick, she wanted only to see the face of the man she was about to marry, not the face of the one she almost did.

* * * *

Jason’s hands shook a little as he handed Lizzie the mug of hot cocoa.

“The lights look good on the mantle.” He gestured with his chin and sat next to her. She wrapped her fingers around the mug. Her innocent brown eyes met his briefly when their fingers touched.

“No thanks to you.” She smiled at him over the rim of the cup as she took a delicate sip. She squinted when the hot liquid met her lips.

He’d turned on the radio in the kitchen to a music station right outside of town. The soft words of a ballad lilted through the air. The fire he’d built after bringing the firewood in still burned and crackled. The white strand of lights and the fire were the only illumination in the cabin. Shadows fell across Lizzie’s face.

“This is nice,” she said at the end of a sigh. “I haven’t had a quiet evening like this in years.”

Uh
uh
.
He didn’t want to hear about what she did at night. “How’s your head?”

“Fine.
The cut scabbed over. But I think I’ll have a nice war scar to remember this Valentine’s Day by.”

A war scar, indeed. Like the one on his heart. They were a matched set.

He couldn’t help it. He reached out and touched her hair, allowing the silkiness of it to fall through his fingers. “You’ll always be beautiful to me,” he rasped.

Lizzie’s whole body went still; she paused with the mug half way to her lips. After what seemed like an eternity, she placed it on the coffee table and turned to Jason. She took his cup and did the same with it.

Hesitantly, she scooted over to him. Before he knew what she intended, she wrapped her arms around his waist, and she burrowed her head into his neck. Pulling her close, he placed a kiss on the top of her head. He mourned all of the years they could have done this very thing: Enjoy each other’s company.

“What are we doing, Lizzie?” he asked.

“From my viewpoint, I’d say we’re snuggling.
You?”

“I don’t know, but it feels nice.”

“Like I was never gone, huh?” she murmured.

But the span of time had still separated them, and come tomorrow his misery would start all over again. So was it wrong to stop thinking about tomorrow and enjoy the moment? He’d lived for years on the memories they’d made before she left. He might make it another seven if they could make a few new ones tonight.

Lizzie’s warm breath on his skin stirred awareness throughout his body.
Every exhale caused the hairs on his neck to stand up. Her hand came away from his waist, and her palm rested on the side of his neck. It took him a moment to register the feeling of her lips working against his throat and the soft sighs he remembered all too well.

“Lizzie,” he protested, although he wasn’t sure if he wanted her to continue or stop.

In one motion, Liz pulled herself up, straddled his waist, and gave him a kiss he wasn’t likely to forget any time soon.

The passion in her, as her tongue wasted no time delving deep, caused his fingers to clench on her hips and pull her against him roughly. But after a few moments, he wasn’t sure which of them
was the aggressor
when their breath mingled and their hands were everywhere.

Jason filled his palm with her soft body, wishing the clothing they wore didn’t separate them. But in a way, he was glad it did because he wouldn’t have been able to think things through otherwise.

He speared his fingers through her curls and held her face against his as he tried to bring back some semblance of control. She attempted to ignore him, but he moved away from her mouth and trailed kisses down her neck and jaw.

As he pulled away from her, he touched his forehead against hers. He drew in several deep breaths to calm his libido and summon his courage.

He pulled away and moved her to sit on the sofa next to him. He couldn’t think clearly with her lithe body so close. But still, he couldn’t stop touching her. He took her hand and joined their fingers, unwilling to let the moment pass.

He’d vowed the second she'd said in her sleep that she didn’t love Patrick to tell her he still cared. It looked like it was now or never.

Squaring his shoulders, he took a deep breath and said, “I still love you.”

Tears sprang into Liz’s eyes, and her bottom lip quivered. For a long while, she simply studied their hands together, traced her finger up and down his wrist. Her tears fell in silence. But when she looked at him again, his heart leapt.

“I still love you, too, Jason. I don’t think I ever stopped.”

“Don’t marry him, Lizzie. If you’re not sure about canceling it, at least give it another few months until we work this out.”

She shook her head with a frown. “I know you’re right, but it’s not so simple. There are still so many things that I’m not sure can ever be resolved.” She shook her head and smiled through tears. “But you’re right. I can’t marry Patrick feeling this way.”

“No?” Air filled his lungs and went out in a huge
whoosh,
and he forgot to inhale. He pulled her into his arms and squeezed. Dizziness assailed him before he remembered to breathe again.

“No,” she confirmed.

When they pulled apart, joy sluiced through him like a gigantic, tingling wave. He couldn’t wipe the smile from his face, but then again, he didn’t want to.

“Can you forgive me for everything that happened, Jason?
For leaving you?”

Tenderly, he trailed his finger along her jaw and smiled.
“Done.”

“What now? Do we start over?”

Swallowing past the lump in his throat, Jason gave her a real smile, his heart full of love. He kissed her and reveled in the reality they were finally in each other’s arms again.