My Secret Life (88 page)

Clean-cut cunts.
— Are those resembling a cut through an orange; the flesh on each side is full, thick, swelling up, turning upwards slightly, and forming a fattish pad rather than lips, altho a tendency to the form of lips may be seen. Neither clitoris nor nymphæ are seen in some, tho in all the flesh seems reddening as the sides turn inwards and meet, showing the slightest coral stripe, a mere hint of the red surface inside. This sort of cunt is most beautiful in girls up to about fourteen years of age, just before the hair begins to grow on them, tho they are to be seen in much older females. The pads of flesh are firm yet elastic, and that of the motte — which is full — is equally so. This class of cunt generally alters by age, but I have seen it in one thirty-five years old. There is usually ample space between the thighs where there are these cunts in full grown women, so that a man’s hand can lay comfortably between them, and grasp a whole handful of vulva. Perhaps the bones of the thighs are set widely apart in the pelvis, but I have seen and felt this width of cunt in short women.

Straight cut cunts with stripes.
— These cunts are much like the former, but the nymphæ are slightly more developed, as well as the clitoris — not largely, but sufficiently to give a visible red stripe between and seeming to open the outer lips. Sometimes the red shows largely only when the thighs are widish apart — in others it shows even when the thighs are closed. — In some the little clitoris (not an ugly big one) just protrudes itself under the dark hair which thickens just about the split, and an inch below it the nymphæ are lost to view unless the thighs be wide apart. I have seen this cunt in women up to thirty, and it is to me certainly the most delicate, most refined, handsomest, and most exciting cunt. I have nearly always found it in the finest modelled, plump, and loveliest woman. — It is indeed the only class of cunt which can be said to be handsome. A cunt is perhaps not a really handsome object at all, tho sexual instincts make its contemplation exciting and charming to a man.

Lipped cunts with flappers.
— These have the lips usually fully formed, the clitoris sticks out and the nymphæ hang out from it nearly the whole length of the split down towards the vagina. — Women towards forty have mostly this cunt, and if they have fucked or frigged themselves much, the color is a very dark pink or carmine. I have seen it in women of nearly a mulberry red. The nymphæ I have also seen hanging out of or projecting beyond the lips, from three quarters to an inch and a half in depth, it was so detestable to me, that it quite spoiled my liking for a really well made pretty woman of thirty-five whom I once knew. Many French gay women in the baudy houses get this sort of cunt, I expect thro excessive venery. They grow thus oftentimes in women if they have children. — It is a cunt nearly as ugly to me as the pouting cunts. [Years after writing this I had a girl under sixteen years of age and looking fourteen, with nymphæ hanging an inch and a half outside the lips and a quite large clitoris. The nymphæ on one side was much larger than the other, and her vagina would have engulfed the prick of a giant. I saw and fucked her a second time, out of sheer curiosity.]

Skinny lipped cunts.
— These may be either with or without the nymphæ shewing. Poor slim, youngish, half starved women with thin thighs and miserable rabbit backsides, have this form of cunt. It is not ugly actually, unless the nymphæ are too obtrusive, which they frequently are, for many of these poor thin women have had a child, and you may see the signs of that on their poor flat bellies lying in a hollow between their ill covered hip bones — [women with this class of cunt usually sham modesty, put their hands over their gaps, say they don’t liked it looked at and giggle in an affected manner. I suppose they are conscious of the want of beauty in those parts.]

Full lipped cunts.
— These are usually mature, they puff out like the half of a sausage, then die away into ample flesh on each side under a fat, fully-haired mons veneris or motte. Women fleshy and well fed have them, and they look well and handsome between the large white thighs and the big round buttocks below, between which they are enclosed and lay. They were the cunts which I loved most in my youth and long after. Mary, one of my first loves, and Louisa Fisher had such cunts in perfection. — I expect they are most attractive to quite young men, for they realize the cunts which all boys — as I very well recollect — figure to themselves before they have seen the sex of a woman. The general effect of the cunt is that it is capacious. Women with this class of cunt usually allow them to be looked at and fingered freely, and smile voluptuously at the man whilst the inspection is going on, as if proud of their notches, and they like the men to look at and to appreciate them.

Pouters.
— The lips of these cunts are like half thin sausages, and almost seem to hang down from the belly, so that they leave a furrow between the outer sides of the lips and the inner side of the thighs. It is the ugliest cunt — and is still uglier if the nymphæ show much, as they often do. They look as if the owners were in a consumption. The hair on these cunts I have found often look straggling and thin — or if thickish, the bush is weak, long, and with but little curl in it. — Several times when I have found myself with a woman who had this ugly sort of genital, I have been unable to stroke her. — Pouters, like the thin lipped cunts — usually belong to women, lanky, thin, poor, ill fed and not too young, poor, short, skinny arsed seamstresses, those whose bum bones you can feel. I fancy it is largely through want of nourishment in their case and frequently through ill health.
—
Middle aged, needy whores
—
those who wear veils and try to pass themselves off as thirty when they are nearer fifty — have them. — I have in my youth many a time been taken in by them, but never now go after a woman who wears a veil.

All classes of beauty may be found with one or other of the defects, for the variety in combination of outer lips, clitoris, nymphæ, motte, and hair in quantity, size, and shape is infinite. No two cunts are exactly the same in look, hence the charm of variety, and the ever recurrent desire for fresh women by the male. There is always a charm in novelty, it is born with us.

Luck.
—
Harry masturbated.
—
An orgy. — Two males and one female.
—
Bum-fucking intentions.
—
H. gamahuched by both.
—
Simultaneous masturbations.
—
Confession of sodomy.
—
Anus and pudenda plugged.
—
Sphincter and thumb.
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Fucking cum cocksucking.
—
H.’s unsated lust.
—
Champagne and repose.
—
Amorous exercises resumed.
—
Baudy ejaculations.
—
Fucked out.
—
Voluptuous eyes. — Balls handled. — Prolonged conjunction.
—
Finger and bumhole.
—
More repose and more champagne. — Erotic fury.
—
All exhausted.
—
Finis.
—
Reflexions.

In August I went abroad, returning in October. — Beyond a visit to a lapunar, there was nothing worth relating. — Indeed my fidelity was remarkable.

I had been but little to see H
^****
. Going there towards the middle of October on my return, she had much to tell me. She had quarrelled with the “mean cur” (Donkey prick) yet had not absolutely broken with him. Her other lover was dead. With a little pressure — for she was really longing to tell me — I found she had gratified Harry and herself by letting the lad fuck her, and was frightened of Donkey prick knowing it thro the possible indiscretion of the lad in keeping silence about what he must have been proud of - lucky beggar. — She described his prick to me, compared it with the donkey tool and her protector’s, told me laughing how the lad behaved at his first fuck, and whilst we were talking this over, a letter came from Donkey prick which was brought by the lad who was waiting for a reply. With that instantaneous letch, and recklessness of consequences which when they come, come more rapidly than ever, “Show me his prick, let me see him,” — I said hastily.

The idea pleased her. “But I don’t want him to know me.” “Keep your hat on.” — She would go and see him. I rubbed some black off a stove with my finger, darkened under my eyes, and made my eyebrows also darker and wider with it, put on a skull sleeping cap which I happened by mere chance to have in the pocket of my traveling suit, and also a pair of tinted glass spectacles which I had used on glaciers. Really I scarcely knew myself when I looked in the glass.

She laughed when she saw my disguise. She had written a letter to the Donkey whilst down stairs, and now thought for a minute. Donkey prick was going out of town. — Harry was to take the reply to him at the station, and dare not wait long to fuck her as I now suggested, or he perhaps might lose his place — Donkey prick being a hard master. — “I’ll make him show his prick and make it stiff.” — “All right.” — On the landing she called him up into the bed room. — “Never mind this gentleman.” He was scared at seeing me. — Then what followed took place as quickly as I write this narrative of it. — All was unpremeditated by either of us, one letch leads to another, I follow blindly the promptings of instinct when in this concupiscent state.

“How’s your prick, Harry?” said she. He seemed perfectly flabbergasted for a moment, looked at me, then at her. — “Is it stiff?” — “No it ain’t,” said he — shamefaced in manner. “Show it me.” — “No” — said he very solemnly and looking but for an instant only at me. “Why? you know I’ve seen it.” — He grinned. “Do” — said I speaking in a husky voice “and I’ll give you five shillings.” — H**** said. “There, show it, and I’ll show you my cunt.” — He reflected — “I can’t — if I don’t catch him before the train, he’ll sack me perhaps.” — “I’ll give you a cab fare and here is five shillings” — shewing it. — H. then without more ado laid hold of him and pulled his prick out, he unresisting. “When did you fuck last?” — “Not since
you,”
said the lad getting bolder. — “Have you frigged yourself?” — “No.” — “Would you like to see my cunt.” — “Oh yes.” — She went to the bed and lay down on the edge. — “I’ll give you half a sovereign if you’ll let me frig you” for that letch now seized me. — “There’s luck, Harry.” — He never looked at
me,
was engrossed with
her
and made no reply — his prick was not stiff.

H. pulled up her clothes. — At the sight of her lovely cunt quickly up rose his prick erect — a longish but thin article, perhaps to thicken, in a year or two — I seized and felt, then frigged it, he making no resistance and she inciting him. “Let me fuck you — do,” — said he piteously, as I found by a certain vibration of his belly that he felt the pleasure. “No. You get the half sovereign.” — “Open your thighs wider,” said I, “pull open the lips” — for I wanted to make him spend over her cunt. She saw my game. — “Is it nice?” — “Yes” — “Shall you spend,” said she. — “Yhes” — and his bum jogged. I felt him coming. “Bend forward, put your prick nearer her cunt.” “Oh let’s fuck,” he cried as his sperm shot over her vulva, and I frigged till not a drop was left in his balls.

He put his hand to feel the lovely receptacle, but she arose and I gave him the money. “You take the letter and be off, or you’ll catch it,” said she. — In a minute he was out of the room, buttoning up his trowsers as he went. She laughed. “Fuck me, dear,” said she going on to the bed, and shewing her mucilaginated vulva. — But I’d fucked her twice and couldn’t again then, so without further word she frigged herself. — “Ain’t we beasts?” said she as she washed her cunt. “No; I’ll gamahuche you.” — “Do. I’ve not been fucked for a week. Phil’s away, and I’ve quarrelled with Donkey” — as we now named him. — “But you’ve frigged yourself.” — “Of course, every night — I sleep by myself and read in bed till tired, then frig myself and go to sleep.”

[It was a great piece of luck this to me and the next time I saw H
^***
we talked over this masturbating frolic with the lad. She had been fucked by him twice, and the letch gratified, desired no more of him. But his youth and inexperience started in me a wish to see him fucking, to be in the room and then for us all together to do what we liked erotically. Before I left it had all been planned. The baudy episode — tho so long and prolix — is one of the remaining evidences of how this manuscript was originally written. It is too much trouble to abbreviate and I retain it nearly as it was written. It’s the narrative of one of those erotic frenzies, which come over women and men when together, and they are heated by wine and lust.]

On the evening about a fortnight after, H. looked lovely in laced chemise, crimson silk stockings, and pretty slippers. — As she threw up her legs shewing her beautifully formed thighs and buttocks, the chestnut curls filling the space between them, relieved by a slight red stripe in the centre, never had I seen a more bewitchingly voluptuous sight. Rapidly my cock stood stiff and nodding, tho I was a little out of condition. — What a lovely odour it had as I gently licked her clitoris for a minute. But we had other fish to fry. “Harry’s here,” said she. I stripped to my shirt, then he came up, a tall slim youth now just turned seventeen. Quickly
he
too stripped, for he knew the treat in store for him. I laid hold of his long thin tool, which was not stiff, and he seemed nervous.