My Soul to Save (Soul Keeper) (10 page)

“We’re here,” I hear him say. I blink slowly, still half asleep, and try to gather my bearings. The driver unloads our bags, and Sam pays him. The warm air is rich with salt and brine.

“Where is here exactly?” We are standing at the end of a driveway but I can’t see what’s at the other end. The taxi drives off, and I hope there is
something
on the other side of this dune.  There are no other houses around that I can see. It feels very remote and isolated.
Perfect place to murder your girlfriend and dispose of the body if you were overly upset with her for wanting permission to date other men. 

Sam takes our bags and leads me up the hill. “Alright it’s not much, but it belongs to a friend of my dad who comes fishing down here a lot.”

“It’s perfect.” The tiny white cottage stands all alone, battered by the elements over the years, but it looks like it has been well kept otherwise. Sam fishes a key out and unlocks the door. Inside smells a bit musty, so Sam goes around opening the windows. He powers on a small air conditioner and the place gets a breath of fresh air.

“There’s only one bed.” No sofa, no cot in the corner.

“Yes, it seems like that is the case detective,” he teases.

“Is there any food?”

“He said the place is stocked with non-perishables. And there’s fishing poles downstairs.” Sam opens the fridge, and by well stocked, he must mean in beer.

“Oh and the water is non-potable. But there’s bottled for cooking and drinking.” 

The walls are painted a soft yellow, instantly cheering the small space up. The queen size bed consist of black iron scrolled into a sleigh shape with a handmade quilt over it in bright colors and floral patterns.

“Thank you for planning all of this Sam. It's really great.”

“I love you. I wanted to make our last bit of summer something to remember.” He brushes his silky waves back off of his forehead and holds me in his arms for a long time without saying anything at all.

“Are you sure you’re okay with all of this?” I ask. His only response is to pull me in tighter. Oh God, what have I done? I want to say forget it. I want to shoot the whole being single plan dead in the water, but some nagging feeling keeps my mouth from saying anything at all. When he finally lets me go he walks outside.

“What should I do?” I ask Elena who oddly seems to find perching herself atop dressers comfortable. 

“Never had a boyfriend or a demonic ex-lover stalking me, so my advice would be a guess at best.”

"Demonic? He's not like those creatures is he?" The thought of Elijah sprouting a beak and claws horrifies me.

"No he's not a demon, you're saying he never explained the differences?"

"No we never had a talk about all the different species Hell has to offer, Elena."

"The fallen, created demons and other creatures of evil."

There areother creatures? God, I hope I never have to know what else is out there. The angry birds are enough to haunt my dreams for eternity.

“Now back to Sam. Elena, you know people right?”

“They’re not my favorite species for this very reason.”

“Inara?” Inara smiles warmly and sits me down on the bed next to her. Her mocha curls sprawl around her face,  held back by a red scarf. She’s dressed in a linen peasant top and blue jeans.

“Close your eyes and listen to your heart. Don’t worry about what Sam, or Elijah, or what everyone else wants for you. You made a choice yesterday and I think it is because you were listening to your heart. Did you know that’s exactly how prayers work? That’s how he talks to us. His spirit lives inside you, right here.” She extends her finger out and a light begins to glow from within it.
E.T, phone home?

“What are you doing?” I ask. She smiles again, looking as innocent as a small child.

“I’m turning up the volume.” She presses her finger into my sternum for a moment.

“Do I have to speak out loud?”

She shakes her head.

Please tell me what to do, I’m so confused. Why do I have this feeling like I should keep things distant with Sam when my heart loves him so much it hurts?
I wait.
“Brennen you have a pure heart, like your mother, when you listen to it, you will always chose the correct path. You are doing everything right for both you and Sam. That path will not always be easy. However, I have lit the way so it’s easy for you to see. I know it hurts right now but over time it will get easier. Find comfort in each other this week. Build lasting memories. You won’t have any regrets later,”
a man’s voice says to me in a timeless cadence like the melodious Morgan Freeman or some other easy to listen to narrator.

“God just talked to me, like the real creator of the universe.”

“He talks to all of us, you just have to listen. It’s not always what you want to hear.”

“But it was, he confirmed everything.” Elena and Inara share a knowing glance that I don’t bother questioning. I have to find Sam. I ease open the screen door and spot Sam at the water’s edge. I run over to him and slip my hand inside his shirt from behind him. He sniffs like he was crying.

“Sam, are you alright?” I go around to see his face, but he turns from me. “Sam, please talk to me.”

“I don’t know what to say, Bren. Is there something I can say or do that would change your mind?” he pleads out. Now I’m the one with nothing to say.
Give me something to say to make him not hurt so much.

Alright, repeat after me.

And then God starts singing,
If I Didn’t Have You
by
Thompson Square.
There’s no way God likes country music, and is singing in my head. No wonder people don’t listen to their heart.

“I am and I do, now it’s your turn, use that angelic voice I gave you and make Sam swoon,”
he says sounding way too much like my father and I wonder who’s really behind the advice. Nonetheless, I take a deep breath and start out the song. I’ve never sang to anyone before and I feel like a total idiot, but Sam is the only one around for miles, not counting three nosy angels.

He slowly turns to face me when I get to the chorus. Geeze, this song is like my anthem. He pulls me in and we dance in the sand as he joins in on the song. It’s working, God, you rock!

We sound pretty good together; his smooth tenor harmonizes melodically with my voice. He spins me around and meets my lips with the softest kisses after it’s over. The sun hangs low over the cobalt water, drawing out this summer night for the two of us as if it would never end.

“Your voice is amazing. Yet another reason why I want to marry you, so you can sing our babies to sleep at night with that sweet voice.”

“Thank you.”

“I’m sorry about earlier, I guess I was already missing you and you haven’t even left yet.”

“I know, I can’t even think about it. I’m trying to pull off a Scarlet and worry about it tomorrow or better yet, next month.”

“We can take the boat across the inlet and go have dinner and pick up some supplies. The dock is just a short walk.”

“Okay let me just go freshen up.”

I run a brush through my hair and finally give up and throw it into a ponytail. I’m in short denim shorts and a loose tank with one of those new cropped
camis underneath. Sam helps me into the small motor boat and gets it started. He pulls the starter cord on the outboard motor, and I’m instantly mesmerized by his flexing biceps forcing the motor into compliance. He laughs when he catches me practically drooling over his body.

“Enjoy the show?”

“I can’t wait for the encore.” His eyes narrow at my comment and he looks as if he’s already plotting his next applaud worthy feat. The sky is painted hot pink and purple tonight, perhaps because God was in touch with his inner-teen tonight. We take a leisurely pace across the water and still reach the dock in just a few minutes. Sam ties up the boat and helps me out.

The restaurant is a cool local seafood place decorated in the required nautical theme. The smell of crab boil fills the room and makes my mouth begin to water. A young girl emerges from behind the hostess stand and grabs two menus she looks no more than fourteen but visibly study’s Sam’s body like she may have a pop quiz on anatomy later this evening. As usual he pays her no mind and pulls out my chair instead.

Sam draws the attention of every female in the room. I subtly glance around the room and watch as they try to catch a glimpse of him without being too obvious. One woman must tell her girl friend to check him out because I can see the woman twist around like she was a human pretzel. And yet, I’m sending him off to college with full permission to date, flirt, and sew oats. Again, am I crazy?

Why am I really doing this? Is it because of
him
, the one whose name I have banned from my thoughts? Is it because my memories were stolen and replaced with replicas, knockoffs of a love that was very much real according to my guards. I have no idea of my motives, but God says it is the right choice. He’s the only one who can see the bigger picture.

“Are you going to try something besides the crab cakes?”

“You can always judge the quality of a seafood restaurant by the crab cakes Sam.”

“We can get them as an appetizer.”

“You want me to share crab cakes?” My eyes are reduced to slits wondering who this man is and what he did with Sam.

“I’m sorry what was I thinking, I’d like to keep my fingers.”

We both laugh, but really we both know how much I love the damn things.

Back at our miniature cottage, we are both tired from the long day and the flight to get here. I take a shower and slip into flannel pajamas so as not to tempt Sam into anything but a good night’s sleep, curled up next to me, touching me all night long for seven nights. Sam takes his turn in the shower, and I pull out my kindle to read while he’s gone.

He emerges from the tiny bathroom in a cloud of steam, shirtless and looking like some Irish Springs commercial or Axe body spray ad. And I totally start to rethink my whole Paul Bunyan look. His pants are hung way low on his hips and I don’t think I’ve taken a breath since he came out. He turns off the light over the sink and only a small nightlight in the corner, gives any visibility. He pulls back the sheets and slips under the covers with me.

He’s not wearing any cologne, just the warm clean scent from his body wash, which wafts up from between the sheets. His hand glides over my waist and slips under the soft fabric that was meant to keep him out.

“Goodnight,” he whispers. His hand still lingers on me like a white hot branding iron setting my skin on fire. The angels have surrounded the cottage outside allowing us a modicum of privacy.

“Goodnight.” Sam finds my lips in the dark and gives me a soft kiss and
retreats back to his pillow. A second later his lips find mine again, hungry and heated. He slowly moves his hands into mine and raises his body over me.

“I know you're trying to be as unattractive as possible in this outfit, but I’m sorry it’s just not working. You’re beautiful inside and out.”

“Well it is pretty hot, maybe you could help me out of it.”

“That can be arranged.” I can’t see his face but I know he’s wearing his devilish smile right now. “These pants are way too warm for this weather.” His hands slide down the sides of my ribs and stop at my waist band. He slides them down about six inches and stops. Suddenly I feel his lips on my mid-thigh. My body rocks as my insides are turned to lava. He moves them down a bit more and repeat the process so that by the time they're on the floor, I’m ready to be there too.

His fingers slowly trace my abdomen. “You’re exquisite.” He admires me in the dim light.

“We should probably cool things down,” he breaths out.

“What if I don’t want to?”

“I don’t want you to do anything you’ll regret later Brennen.”

“I know, and I’m not going to leave here with any regrets that is, unless you say no.”

He sighs over me. “I would make love to you right now if I knew that’s what you really wanted, but I know how important waiting until we’re married is to you. Tell you what, I want you to sleep on it, and think about it all day tomorrow and if you still want this, then so do I.”

I wake up in Sam’s arms with my shirt still half-buttoned and his hand warm on my waist. Oddly, it doesn’t feel awkward. Something pressed into my thigh, however is a little more so. I shift out from under him so that I can see him better.

Do I really want this? I watch him as he sleeps, his golden waves are scattered all around his head like a halo. He’s my true angel isn’t he? I know he is. He is the one I see when I picture myself walking down the aisle. He’s the one they wanted me to marry in the first place. He’s already promised me he would propose. So why should we have to wait eight to ten years for something we both want right now? It sounds more like a prison sentence. I love him and he loves me. He’s the one I know I am going to marry one day.

My mind is made up.

We spend the morning fishing and Sam catches several speckled trout and I apparently am a fishing dud. After that, we rent a pair of jet skis and give the angels a run for their money trying to keep up with us. We end the day with a couple of beers on the beach.

We lounge on a blanket and watch the sunset. Sam builds a fire in the sand and finds a grill stand to cook the fish on. I pair my
iPod with a small Bluetooth speaker and let J.T bring sexy back.

“I’ll go make us a salad while the fish is on.”

“Okay babe.” Sam says lost in thought while gazing into the fire.

Inside I pull out the mixed greens and toss it with a bottle of store bought vinaigrette. And break us each off a piece of bread from a baguette. Not a bad meal, considering it mostly came from a convenience store.  Sam and I eat right on the blanket next to the fire, with the ocean waves our music and the stars our chandelier.

“This is delicious. I like the seasonings you used.” I say mainly to break the silence. I wonder if his thoughts are the same place as mine right now. He hasn’t mentioned it at all today.

“Lemon and pepper, shh don’t let anyone in on my secret.”

“It’s in the vault.” I smile out and take a sip of my beer. Sam tips his bottle back too and offers a cool smoldering gaze as he does. I take our plates inside and clean up and bring out Sam’s favorite camping treat. S’mores.

“Ooh you are the best, the very best.”

“Good luck finding us a stick.”

“You mean like these beauties.” He says producing two long slender sticks from behind his back.

Sounding more like the Kool-Aid man, he says in a baritone, “Yes, it’s time to get our melty-chocolate on.” I laugh as he skewers my marshmallow. There is something about a big strong man, handling a delicate piece of fluffed sugar that makes me sigh a little out loud.

“What?”

“Nothing I just find you incredibly irresistible right now.” My words cause his chest to rise and fall as he sighs out a long breath. His lids lower and he edges in next to me, and suddenly I get the feeling desert is going to have to wait.

He hovers over my lips, nuzzling my cheek with his nose. He whispers in my ear that he loves me before drawing my lobe into his steamy mouth. I shift my head away from him allowing him full access to my neck. He follows the path and things between us get heated up like the marshmallow now burning in the campfire. The air becomes laden with the smell of burnt sugar. The taste of his skin, salted by the sea air mingles with my senses neither knowing which way is up, and not caring. We become a tangle of limbs on top of the blanket.

“I’m on fire.” He says breathlessly.

“Me too.”

“Ow, no! I’m really on fire,” he says shaking his leg and patting his ankle. His hand is covered in sticky black tar and I realize it’s the marshmallow. Hm, somehow it got from the fire to his pants. I glare up at Elena who bears a proud smirk of intervention on her lips. 

“Are you alright, let me see?” He pulls up his pants leg revealing a small burn over his ankle. His jeans are burnt and part of the material is missing.

“I’ll be right back, I’ll bring you a bowl of ice water and the first aid kit.” He nods wincing from the pain. I make the short walk back up to the cottage.

“Elena, did you set my boyfriend on fire?”

“Yes.”

I whip around and give her a nasty look
. “Why the hell would you do that? You’re an angel, freaking act like one.”

“Because I know what you’re planning to do, and I can’t let you do that.”

“What business is it of yours? Your job is to keep me safe and nothing else. You’re not my mother.”

“Sex is a gift reserved for the sanctity of marriage, not something to be shared between to hormonal teenagers. You used to believe that.”

“I still believe that, but Sam is who I
am
going to marry, I just don’t feel like waiting ten years to share my body with him.” I say getting angrier by the second.

“You can’t know for sure if you will marry him, and you don’t have all of the pieces from your past. You may regret making this choice once you do. So I am protecting you.”

I fill a bowl with bottled water and ice, while wondering if she’s right. She comes over and rubs my shoulder. “Just wait, Brennen, maybe not ten years, but wait until you have all of the pieces.” My body slumps in defeat.

“Either way, setting humans on fire is never okay.”

“Will can heal him while he sleeps, he’ll wake up good as new.” I spin around sloshing ice cold water down her blouse as I do. She shrieks in horror but luckily stays behind.

I carry out the bowl and the small kit I found under the bathroom sink. I place Sam’s foot in the water and he sighs out in relief.

“What’s wrong? You look kind of angry.”

“What? No, I’m not angry.” Not at you anyway. I try and shake the mood Elena put me in.

“So have you thought anymore about whether or not you want to wait?” The three angels stand at Sam’s back looking ready to sever dangling appendages if I give the wrong answer. 

I sigh out again. “I guess we’d better wait at least a little longer. I mean it’s not like we’re never going to see each other again.”

Sam stretches his neck out and nods slowly, allowing only a hint of disappointment shine through. After a few minutes, I take his foot out, gently pat it dry and dress his wound.

“Thank you for taking such good care of me,” he says.

“You take care of me in more ways than you know.” I say kissing his cheek before rising to clean up our picnic area.

*~*~*

The rest of our trip passes quickly with our hormones in check most of the time. Sam fills our days with activities so our hands and lips are never idol. On the plane ride home, I’m more relaxed. Sam drops me off at home late in the afternoon and he heads home to pack. They’re moving to Houston in two days.

I try and busy myself and wash all of my laundry. I even iron and it’s only seven O’clock. Nohing will make the next six months pass quickly enough.

“Brennen, do you want to watch a movie with us? We could make a girls night out of it. I’ll even paint your toes.”

“Really? That sounds like fun. What do ya’ll want to see?”

“What do you ladies, you all, or my esteemed guards, want to see. Never ya’ll,” Elena says correcting me.

“Esteemed guard, what do you wish to view? I shan’t disappoint my Keeperness.”

“What is it you call it, chicken-flick?” Elena asks, serious as can be.  I giggle but can’t help my eyes from rolling on that one.

“Yes, Elena let’s watch a chicken-flick.”

We end up getting caught up in a Lifetime movie marathon and between the three of us, we go through a box of tissues and a bottle of wine.