My Soul to Take (Soul Keepers (Young Adult paranormal romance)) (12 page)

“
Can you show me how to do that?” I pick up a brush and he nods through a clenched jaw. A barrage of thoughts cross his mind like,
I wonder if Elijah is okay with her taking this job with me.
 
God, I miss her
.
She is too damn cute in her tight jeans and low cut T-shirt
. Then he thinks of what he witnessed last week and tries to shake the image from his mind.

“
Run your hand over her. Feel that dust and dirt?” I slowly move toward the big chestnut horse like it’s a live grenade. The horse gives me a blinking look that says, “Amateur.” And I swear he shakes his head at me. Light as a feather I graze over his hair.

“
Mm hm.”

“
That’s what we’re taking off.” Sam takes my hand with the brush in it and moves it over the horse in long strokes. His hand is warm and his chest is so close to my back, I can feel the heat radiating off of it. We take a couple more passes over her coat. I can hear his heartbeat with my gift and it’s beating faster and faster.

I turn around and though his mind still repeats his condemnation of what he almost did, I ignore his thoughts, and I move my lips up towards his fractionally. Slowly, just as I approached the stallion, so it wouldn’t spook.

I close my eyes and wait for him to finish the distance. His fingers run up my neck and into my hair. His chest is now undulating over mine like the lazy ocean wave caressing the shore. His heart is raucous and erratic.

His lips touch mine for a brief second and then retract. He takes a deep breath. No, p
lease you’re so close. I peek and see his warm brown eyes are moist with tears. I can’t take it anymore.

Sam slowly pulls away
, but still holds me in his arms. We both try to catch our breath. He whispers, “Bren, I don’t think this is a good idea.” The smile that was on my face drops. I back away from him and into the horse, who upon my touch, snorts out a nose full of air.  I guess he’s fed up with me too. Thoughts of doubt and fear are running rampant inside Sam’s head. “You know I’m seeing Peyton.”

I nod and ease my body away from his.
“Yes, you’ve made that very clear.” I turn away from him and walk out of the stable. I head into the other building and continue with the routine Liam has set in stone. The old man like his routine. Sam doesn’t follow me. He’s made me feel like an ass. Who am I to come between him and Peyton? Maybe she’s good for him. She does seem nice when she’s not shoving her relationship status in my face. I don’t understand any of this. If Sam and I are destined to be together then why is it so hard for us to get back on track?

Just outside the stable I hear him take off fast on a horse. I turn and watch as my cowboy rides away as quick as the horse’s hooves will allow. He yells,
“Ya” once over the fence and the horse breaks into full speed. I watch him disappear over the horizon, taking my heart with him, dragging it behind on a long rope as bait.

“
Brennen, I’ve already given the horses their afternoon treat. So, why don’t you turn out the two mares?”  Liam startles me.

I snap on a lead to one of the bay mares and lead her out to a pasture. When I let her in she takes off like a bolt of lightning blissfully galloping along the fence without a care in the world. I rest my head on the fence post. I’m jealous of a horse.
I try and finish my work but my thoughts keep drifting back to Sam. The afternoon passes slowly and I decide to take a break and grab a snack. I sit atop a fence rail overlooking the mares. She spots my apple and trots over begging for a bite. I take a sample and give her the rest. She bumps my hand with her nose. Apparently I’m her new best friend.

Sam glides up next to me, taking me by surprise.
“Bren, hey. I just wanted to apologize. I’m sorry about earlier.” I wipe the tears away from my eyes.
Shit, I’ve made her cry.
Sam pulls me from the fence and into his arms and holds me there. I rest my cheek on his chest and relish in his embrace.

“
Can we just go somewhere and talk?” I say looking up at him while still in his arms. He turns away, releasing me. This is it I can feel it-- the pivot point. He will either choose to give in to his feelings or block me out once and for all. He turns back to me and runs a hand through his feral waves. I hint of delight plays on my lips as I see his choice before he says it out loud.

“
Alright, meet me in the barn in five.” I finish up with the last mare and wait inside for him. Sam brings out a stunning black horse with a white blaze running down his face. He saddles up the stallion, then fills a satchel with water bottles and a blanket. .

“
Put your left foot in the stirrup and I’ll help you mount up.” Sounds like a trip to the gynecologist but okay. I remove the apron and rubber boots and slip my shoes back on. I forgot how ridiculous I must have looked.

I do as he says and he easily hoists me over and in the saddle. Sam’s long legs mount the horse with grace. He settles in snuggly behind me and his closeness sends a slow heat though my body. I pet the long black mane of the horse to show him
I’m nice.

“
This is one of my horses. Clancy here is a Friesian so he can handle both of us without much effort. I’ll take the reins, he’s a bit high-strung but that’s how I like em.” He chuckles softly in my ear as he commands the horse to life with a subtle brush of his boot.

“
Wait, don’t you have a date with Peyton?”

“
Is Elijah expecting you home right after your shift?”
Touché
“Come on before it gets dark.” Sam leads us at a steady pace as the sun sinks lower and lower. The horse pads softly along the soft grass. The air is thick enough to drink, a veil of moist air kisses my skin and chills me even at this slow pace. The sweet scent of clover perfumes the air.

“
Is Peyton your...?” I can’t even finish the sentence. The thought of him promoting their classification to girlfriend-boyfriend status is too much too bear.

“
She understands that I’m not ready to have a girlfriend yet.” I mull over his words contemplating what I should say next. If we’re going to do this I want to ease back into it. I think he’s right, there is no reason to devote ourselves to each other so intensely at our age. Not that I want Peyton’s filthy rich paws anywhere near him but I wonder if it would be good for us to be open to seeing other people. I contemplate if that type of relationship ever works out in the long run. The thought of giving up Elijah for good has me wanting to turn our horse around and forget the whole thing.

Sam’s toned muscular arms flex as he controls the large black horse beneath us. The heat from his chest on my back has me warmed to almost a sweat. We get to a small pond and stop. Sam dismounts and comes to help me. He slides my body down with ease and we are once again face to face.

I hear the familiar race of his heart begin. He takes my hand and leads me over by the horse. His gentle touch eases me just a little. He removes a blanket from the satchel and hands it to me. I lay it out under a nearby tree. He comes up behind me and cracks the tops of two water bottles. He sits on the blanket and I sit across from him so that I’ve full view of his eyes. This is going to take careful wording. I’m nervous, afraid to say the wrong thing.

“
You can ask me anything and I’ll tell you the truth. I promise I’ll never lie to you.” Sam drops his head and picks at the top of his bottled water.

“
Elijah said that nothing happened that night of your party. Did it?” Wow, I didn’t think he’d just dive right in there, but okay.

“
Elijah and I’ve only shared the one kiss, which I already told you about.” 

“
Why?” His question is a simple one, but the only one I wish I knew the real answer to. Why, if I love him, and he loves me have we only ever shared one kiss? One change-the-fate-of-the-universe kiss. The kiss that unspun the fabric that weaves destiny’s silk web. The very one we are all trying to mend our way back from. Yes, why indeed?

“
He’s protecting me from something dangerous. I can’t say any more than that without putting you at risk as well.” He looks up to the branches and thinks about this.

“
Does it have to do with what you told me before, with the CIA?”

“
Yes.”

“
So it’s not that you don’t want Elijah, but he can’t be with you because of his job?” My heart begins to pound in earnest because I cannot physically bring myself to utter the words that will ease Sam’s mind. I said I’d be nothing but honest with him from this point on, he deserves that much from me.

“
Sam, I’m here, because I want you. I’m here, because I miss you,” blurt from my mouth. It’s almost as if I can’t lie. I do want him, I do miss him. The realization of these two truths hit me like a brick wall.

Sam lies all the way back on the blanket. I stare off at the gigantic horse grazing by the pond and I absent-mindedly go into the red skied world. Elijah is nowhere around that I can see. But Elena is petting Clancy.

“What are you doing here? Where’s Elijah?”

“
What you think he’d want to stick around while you admonish him to rank beneath a German shepherd?”

“
Elena, I don’t know how to do this.” She returns to stroking the soft velvet of the stallion’s nose.

“
It is still your choice to make Brennen.”

“
How is it my choice? Choose to let millions die of cancer or go ahead with an arranged marriage to a guy who is loveable, sweet, and attractive. I’ve made the choice but I don’t know how to give up Elijah.”

“
So don’t. He asked me to guard you while he went to research something. He’ll be back in a couple of days. So just try to stay out of trouble for forty-eight hours will you?” As if I go looking for it or something.

I can’t believe that an angel just gave me the advice to cheat. Choose to love them both. I roll the idea around in my head and shake it out. I do love them both, as much as I don’t want to admit it. Okay
I’ve to get my head in this. I’ve to get Sam back. I’m actually glad Elijah is not here to witness the crap I’m about to pull.

“
How can I love them both without someone getting hurt?” I say with panic in my voice knowing I’ve to get back to my world.

“
You can’t hurt Elijah, his love is unconditional.” She says it matter-of-factly. It’s the point he’s been trying to drive home this whole time. He’s told me this himself. It’s hard for a human like me to wrap my head around the concept of unconditional love. She points back to the blanket and Sam is sitting up asking me something, crap.

I blink myself back to Sam and catch the just of his words.

“Elijah told me what I almost did and I’m so sorry. You know I would lay down my life for you. Brennen, to tell you the truth– I’m afraid. I don’t know why that happened to me, or if it will ever happen again. I so scared to hurt you.”

“
Yet you hurt me the day you wrapped your arms around Peyton.”

“
Your right and I kept on hurting you because I thought that it would somehow protect you from me. You should stay away from me Bren, I’m dangerous.”

I look up at him from my lashes as if to say,
“Please, you couldn’t harm a fly.”

“
I’m serious, you think I was possessed, but you don’t know that for sure. I could be psychotic.”

Alright he may need a little nudge with my gift. He doesn’t need to think of himself that way. He shouldn’t walk around in fear of something that happened once and will probably never happen again.
“Sam, you’re not psychotic. You’re the kindest, most gentle guy I’ve ever met.” Yet, another truth I hadn’t realized until just now. I watch Sam visibly relax, no longer burdened by the weight of his past. He looks younger all of a sudden. He rolls to his side and props his head up on one elbow, looking completely adorable. 

“
You know a good mutual friend of ours gave me some sound advice once. She said tomorrow we could be run down by a charter bus. We can’t live our lives by what-if’s. So I took her advice and asked this really hot guy to a concert. Yeah, he was all like, “What, like I date?” and I was all like, “Yes, a date.” Anyways the night ended with a steamy make out session, but I won’t bore you with the details.”

A
smile emerges on his face. “He was hot hmm?” I nod and coyly smile his way. “Oh please, bore me. Did it go something like this?” He is up and over me in an instant. He tickles me and I writhe under him. He pins my arms above my head and straddles my waist. I can’t help but giggle and nod.

“
Then something like this.” I use my self-defense technique to flip him over and take the same spot over his waist. I raise his shirt and my lips make contact with his sternum. He sucks in a breath. A gust of wind blows through the bare tree and kicks up leaves from the ground whipping them around us like our own personal ticker tape parade.

“
Do you know how much I’ve missed you?” Sam asks as I lie next to him on the blanket. I shake my head because I really don’t. An hour ago, Peyton had me believing she’d helped Sam maneuver his stick, mid-flight. “God, Bren what have you done to me? I’ve never felt this way about anyone.” Granted he’s eighteen and has only a couple of girls to compare me to. I feel Sam’s phone vibrate in his pocket. He takes it out and looks at the number and ignores it.