My Splendid Concubine (31 page)

Robert showed him to the door at the end of the session.
“Master Ping, thank you for
The Dream of the Red Chambe
r. As you can see, I’ve applied your teaching and am a changed man.”

Master Ping moved his lips as if to make a remark. Then he changed his mind when he saw both Ayaou and Shao-mei come out to say goodbye. They bowed endlessly to him. He left looking puzzled. Twice as he went down the
street, he glanced back. Robert smiled and waved.

They returned to the sitti
ng room where Robert became the teacher. Shao-mei appeared brighter and more animated than she had been for months.

Later that night
, after Ayaou slipped under the blanket, Robert said. “Ayaou, I’m going to spend the night with Shao-mei. Tomorrow I’ll be with you.” He quickly kissed her and left the bed. He felt her staring at him.

“
What?” he said. He felt as if he were defending himself against a possible accusation. He avoided her eyes.

“
You forgot your robe,” she said.

“
I won’t need it tonight.” He was bent in one direction and wasn’t about to stop. He didn’t trust his British upbringing. It might return and spoil everything.

“
But you will be cold, and there is no heat in the house.”

Without speaking
, he took the robe from its hook and slipped it over his shoulders. He walked from the room in his bare feet and crossed to Shao-mei’s door where he stopped with one hand on the handle.

The devil is devious, he thought. He can trick people into giving up their sou
ls. Then Robert grew angry. He cursed Ireland and the church. Spending the night with Shao-mei was something he wanted. Didn’t he have free will? He had decided, but he couldn’t bring himself to open that door. His heart was pounding as if it were going to burst. He was having trouble breathing.

He attempted tricking himself to relax and acce
pt the gift that waited on the other side. To overcome his resistance, Robert fantasized what it was going to be like. While the cold claimed his feet and started spreading up his legs, he closed his eyes and imagined what was going to take place after he stepped through that door.

Her lantern gave off a feeble light. She had the blanket drawn to her chin. She stared at him with big, wide-open eyes. She reminded him of a disturbed sparrow during its quiet time.

Shivering and with
goose bumps racing across his back and down his legs, Robert slipped under the blankets onto the narrow bed. He pulls her warm, naked body into his arms.

She received him s
ilently. He felt her stiffen when his cold skin touched her.

Robert flashed back to his first time with Ayaou in Ward’s cellar. This was going to be different. There’d be no furtiveness or fear at work here.

“It’s your job to warm me,” he said. He struggled to contain his lusty excitement. He knew the longer he spent before culmination, the better it would be.

She made no response. She reached across him to turn off the la
ntern.

“
No.” He stopped her. Pulling her hand under the covers, he said, “I want to see you. I want you to touch me.”

“
But—I might be afraid,” she replied in a seductive voice that aroused him more.

His fantasy was working. Robert’s member was growing.

“Of what?” he asked.

“
You. What you have on your body. The hair. Ayaou said it is like a grassland.”

“
What else did Ayaou tell you?”

“
She said it wouldn’t hurt.”

“
Do you believe her?”

She nodded
.

“
You’re a brave girl,” he said.

“
You’re laughing at me. You already think I’m not as good as Ayaou.”

“
Forget Ayaou. There are only two in this room.”

“
Does that mean you really want to be with me?”

He pulled her closer. Their bodies touched.

Robert was aroused.
Soon he’d have the strength to go through that door and claim his prize.

She wiggled her naked, smooth body as close as she could. The sensation of touching her sent sweet chills to his core.

Robert reached with one hand under the robe and took hold of his member. It throbbed. His fingers curled around it. He stroked it. His breathing quickened. The blood rushed out of his head. He leaned against the door. His legs trembled as the strength drained out of them. His mind dissolved into a puddle of warm honey.

She mumbled strange noises. After a while, she told him she was speaking English and was saying, ‘I love you.’ He told her in Chinese that he loved her, and he meant it for the truth was that he loved both his concubines.

He begged her to change back to Chinese.
“Let me make you happy tonight, Shao-mei.”

Her face glowed. S
he said, “I miss my sister. Could Ayaou join us?”

“
No!” He pulled the blankets over them. “I’m not ready for that, and I don’t know if I ever will be.”

Her hands moved down the length of his body
—exploring, while he explored her.

Then Robert lost control. Gasping for air, he slid down to sit on the floor. He’d excited himself to the point that he’d had an orgasm. His member, which he was still holding, had turned flaccid. He held up his hand and examined it. His fingers were sticky. This cannot be happening, he thought. He groaned and rested his head against the wall.

He
concentrated on naked images of Shao-mei to get the mood back. It was no good. He yanked at his member to excite it. That didn’t work. His Irish side was marching Christian armies into his brain to do battle with his Chinese desires.

With a sinking heart, he looked down the dark well that was the stairway and decided to get dressed and take a walk.
He had failed. His upbringing was too powerful. He couldn’t overcome his British breeding. He couldn’t love his two women in all the ways that word implied. He wiped his slimy hand on the robe. He might as well be going down that stairway straight to hell.

As Robert took the first step down the stairs, a grunting, retc
hing noise came from Shao-mei’s room. He turned and rushed into her room. She was on her knees hanging over her chamber pot throwing up. At first, Robert thought it was because she was disgusted with him. She knew about his fantasy and orgasm in the hall.

S
eeing him, she jumped to her feet. She was naked. Slime was hanging from her mouth. It wasn’t the vomit that caught his eyes. It was the changing shape of her body. He hadn’t seen her naked since the day Patridge sold her to him.

How could he have been so stupid? As a boy, he
’d been around his mother when she’d been pregnant. The Chinese banker had seen right away, but Robert hadn’t understood. The headaches, the moodiness, and the nausea all made sense.

“
Who did this to you?” Robert said, feeling a rush of jealousy and anger. Had she gone out and slept with another man because of him? If he had done his duty as she would have expected from a Chinese master, this wouldn’t have happened.

Sweat beaded her forehead. H
er eyes glazed over. She burst into tears and swayed on her feet. Robert made sure the door was closed and took her into his arms. Her skin was clammy and cold. He led her to the bed and made her get under the covers. He sat beside her.

“
Have you told Ayaou?” he asked.

She pulled the blanket up to her eyes and shook her head saying no. H
er tears started to flood. She sobbed and trembled. Without taking off his robe, Robert crawled under the covers and held her. She shivered violently inside his arms. “I’m sorry, child,” he said, believing he was somehow responsible for what had happened.

It took several minutes for her to calm down. Robert took her face between his hands and turned it toward him.
“Who is he?”

She stared at him without saying a word. Fear filled her eyes.

“I’m not going to hurt you. If I had been the master you expected, this wouldn’t have happened. Tell me who he is. Did you meet him in the market?”

She shook her head but still
did not speak. She attempted to turn from him. He wouldn’t let her. Robert held her face firmly between his hands. She had to look at him. “I am your master,” he said. “You have to tell me.”

“
He said he’d hurt us.” Her voice was small, almost a squeak. She looked fragile as if she were one of those thin bone China dishes.

“
If you love him, I will arrange for him to live with us. You will be his wife,” Robert said. “He’ll have no reasons to make threats and fear me.”

Her expression twisted into something else, som
ething horrible. “I hate him!” She spit out.

Then Robert understood.
“You were raped?” Rage smashed into him like a tsunami. “Tell me who did it? If you don’t, I will beat it out of you and kill him. If I have to, I’ll get Ayaou to pry the name from your lips.” The sound of his voice was frightening.

She tried to move away from him, but the bed was too small. She didn
’t answer. Her expression said everything.

“
It was Patridge!” Robert cursed. “That bastard didn’t keep his word!” Then he was elated because it meant the devil’s contract had been broken. Laughter welled up inside his throat mingled with anger. He was free. He broke out laughing. It was a wicked sound. It looked like he wouldn’t be corrupting Chinese with opium anymore.

She was calm now. The wild look in her eyes had faded. She shook her head and Robert knew.
“It wasn’t Patridge,” he said. “It was Payne Hollister.” The fear rushed back into her face telling him the truth. His laughter died a reluctant death but the anger remained.

“
What did he tell you?”

“
He said it was his revenge.” She squeaked. “And if I told anyone, even Patridge, he would come back and hurt me and kill Ayaou and you.”

An ax blade twisted inside Robert
’s stomach. It was because of Me-ta-tae. He had caused this with his uncontrolled lust. It was his fault. He was the monster. “I’m a bloody fool, a damned bloody fool.” He said it with such acid that Shao-mei started to cry.

Robert couldn
’t bear to look at her. His temples throbbed. His head hurt. He had to relax and think, but there was nothing he could do but feel helpless. Hollister had sailed to England in his sloop. He was thousands of miles away on his yearlong journey. Robert hoped the ocean swallowed him before he made it home. After all, his sloop was small.

“
Listen to me,” Robert said, as he had an idea. He forced himself to look into her eyes. This had to work. “You will tell Ayaou the baby is ours. No one has to know that it belongs to Hollister. We will raise it together. You will always belong to me. I will never sell you.

“
Tonight I am going to sleep with you, but we cannot have intercourse since you are pregnant. If we did, it might cause a miscarriage. If you had a miscarriage, there would be danger that you might die. I’ve heard of so many women dying in childbirth that it frightens me. The younger the mother, the more risk and danger there is. I don’t want to lose you, Shao-mei.”

“
You don’t want to lose me?” she said. She stopped sobbing and hiccupped. She looked innocent and harmless with wide-open eyes.

This caused his heart to feel as if it were swel
ling in his chest. His member stiffened with desire. He didn’t want this intrusion now. Why couldn’t this incessant ache leave him alone? He found some relief at the consulate when he was working, but even that wasn’t assured. “Yes, I don’t want to lose you.” His voice was shaking. He looked at his hands. They were trembling.

“
But why? If I died, you would still have Ayaou. Isn’t that what you have wanted all along?”

“
I have been confused. In my country, living with two women would make me a bad man. Everyone would condemn me as a degenerate. That would injure my father deeply, because he believes strongly that such behavior is wrong. I love my father. I don’t want to hurt him.”

“
Then if I died that would solve your problems. So why not use me? I will die for you if it will make your life easier. Take me.” And her hands reached for Robert like a greedy, hungry child wanting candy.

“
No, Shao-mei.” He pushed her away. She looked hurt. “If you died, my heart would break. Recently, I have come to desire you and love you as much as I love Ayaou. I never realized that a man could love two women equally.”

She slipped her arms around him and pulled herself against him until her naked body was against his.
“Then why not make love to me? You must desire me. I know my body burns for you.”