Authors: Laura Kinsale
He was scowling down at her as if she angered him. But his hand was on her arm, holding tight.
Suddenly she reached up, put both palms on his shoulders, and in the midst of the street and the bridge and the river and the sinking sun, pressed her body against his.
He pulled her to him, his arms going urgently about her waist. Like a pair of countrified lovers, they hugged hard in full view of anyone who might be watching, but Folie did not care. She was trying to memorize him, trying to imprint the feel of his shoulders and his height and his chest and his very breath, to drink in the whole knowledge of his real living existence.
“Mrs. Godwin?” A voice called across from the innyard, the prearranged alias they had agreed upon for her. Folie pushed away from Robert. Golden angled sunlight glittered in her hazy eyes.
“Take care,” she whispered fiercely.
With a brief nod, he brushed his fist against her cheek. Folie let go of him and walked away. A few steps beyond, she heard him murmur something imperatively, but the words were not clear. She looked over her shoulder, pausing.
He opened his fist, turning his palm toward her as if he let her go like a small bird from his hand. “Deferred kiss,” he said between his teeth.
She nodded, wordless, and went quickly across the street.
EIGHTEEN
The garden was in bloom, lilac-scented. Her blue shawl pulled about her, Folie walked there with Melinda as they had done every morning for two weeks. Pink and white tulips nodded over carpets of tiny violets.
One side of the garden enclosure ran along the high street of the village, though the wall was too tall and the geography too flat to allow any view of the street. A red brick church tower loomed over them, and farther away, a windmill’s white sails turned endlessly—the only points of viewing interest beyond the wall, unless she happened to catch sight of passengers on the roof of a stagecoach as it swept through. Sometimes just before dawn, as Folie lay waking, staring up into the blackness, she could hear the royal mail make its regular halt at the Spread Eagle for a change of horses.
Melinda had been amazingly docile about the ruin of her season. After her initial transports of relief and rapture upon Folie’s safe return, Melinda in fact had seemed so subdued that Folie had been worried about her health. And yet, she did not seem to mope. She had not wept once for London, or complained of boredom. But she was quieter, more thoughtful, than Folie had ever known her to be.
As they had driven in the closed coach to this house of safety, Lander had undertaken to explain their situation to Melinda. Folie was glad to let him do so. Ever since the hulk, she could not seem to gather her scattered thoughts for more than a moment at a time. She had no concentration, and forgot the most everyday things. Only this morning, on the garden step, she had discovered the withered blooms she had picked yesterday lying next to the pail of water she had never put them in.
The servants here were more the ordinary sort, the standard of service serene and efficient, really quite polished for a country village. Lander did not even maintain the illusion of being their butler—the staff deferred to him, but more as if he were the master of the house than the head steward. After their arrival, he had gone back to London by stagecoach, leaving early in the morning.
Folie sat down on a garden bench, pulling the shawl close. Melinda sat down with her.
“It doesn’t seem real,” Melinda said. “Everything is so peaceful here. It’s so hard to imagine danger.”
Folie shook her head. “Sometimes I can smell the river and the prison,” she said. “At night, it comes to me. And I can’t sleep. As if I have that water in my mouth and lungs still.”
Melinda locked her arm through Folie’s, squeezing, saying nothing.
“To think there are those poor people there now,” Folie said. “Perhaps when this is concluded, and we can go home, I shall form a Prisoners’ Relief Committee.”
“I don’t know if the ladies will join you, Mama,” Melinda said gently. “Perhaps they will not understand that criminals might need relief.”
“Then it will be a committee of one.” She smiled wryly, watching a flock of robins hunting through a patch of overturned soil. “I don’t think I can go on embroidering handkerchiefs for a church steeple that will undoubtedly fall down long before we ever collect enough money to repair it.”
“A committee of two. I’ll be on it with you,” Melinda said loyally. “I don’t ever want to leave you, Mama.”
Folie laughed, hugging her. “I don’t think you need resign yourself to a life of spinsterhood and good works yet, my love.”
Melinda bowed her head. She smoothed her gown over her lap. In a small, shy voice, she said, “But perhaps you will marry Mr. Cambourne?”
Folie could feel the blood rush to her face. “Wherever did you conceive of that notion?”
Melinda’s lips puckered gaily. “Oh—perhaps it was when I peeked out of the carriage and saw you kissing him in the street!”
“I did not kiss him!” Folie said, flustered. “It was merely—an affectionate embrace. If not for him, I would not be alive.”
“Oh,” Melinda said. “I see.”
“It was a perfectly natural thing. You should not weave such a great flight of fancy from such a small circumstance.”
“Oh, no,” Melinda said, nodding. “Certainly not.”
“Melinda!” Folie lamented. “Do not tease me on this point.”
“You don’t like him?”
Folie turned her face away, watching a robin capture some hapless insect. She thought if she said one word about how much she was in love with Robert Cambourne, still in love with him, in love with him again, frightened for him, puzzled and scared and aching—if she said one word, she would burst into silly tears.
“I will be sorry for him if you don’t,” Melinda said, “because he seems to like you very much.”
“There is a great deal you do not know of life, Miss Melinda,” Folie said sternly. “Mr. Cambourne and I like one another, certainly. But marriage is another matter.”
“Of course that is true,” Melinda said, in her most adult tone. “We must take into account his prospects. His income. His family.” She reached down and picked a tulip from beside the bench. “He is single.” She plucked a petal. “He is wealthy.” She pulled another. “His family is perfectly respectable.” She pulled a third. “Now tell me what liabilities you see in this match.” She handed Folie the flower.
“Well—” Folie said, plucking all the rest of the petals at once, tossing them to the wind, “he has not asked me!”
“He will,” Melinda said smugly. “You don’t know the way he looked after you as you walked away from him!”
“You are a nonsensical, romantic, naive child,” Folie said irritably, standing up. “I’m sorry that I ever pulled you from that gutter and gave you a home!”
Melinda looked up at her with a smile so loving that it made Folie feel quite wobbly inside. “Perhaps I shall marry him myself,” she said, “as a reward for restoring you to me.”
“And puffed-up beyond measure!” Folie exclaimed. “A reward? I wash my hands of you. You may return to the workhouse.” She swept away with a brisk step, wondering when this rampant tendency to weeping would leave her.
Robert began his first foray at the Malmsbury ball by modestly bowing out of a game of cards, where he had won a single hand for tuppence, apologizing that he could not take advantage of his opponents. Naturally this had led to some curious inquiry into his skill as a player, since his opponents, several aristocratic matrons, considered themselves no mean amateurs at a hand of piquet.
He deprecated his expertise, upon which they began to be a little suspicious, accusing him teasingly of being a Captain Sharp who wanted to lull them into complacency and then fleece them. But as Robert firmly refused to play, for money or not, they let him go—with some mystification.
He parlayed that carefully, taking his time, watching the play at another table, speaking to no one. He took note of one of the ladies at the first table watching him idly. Suddenly he turned full face to her, staring hard into her startled eyes, frowning.
Of course she averted her look, glancing down at her cards. Robert crossed the room and leaned down over her shoulder. “Ma’am,” he said urgently. “I beg your pardon, I—” He stopped speaking and stood back. He shook his head with a faint laugh. “I beg your pardon. It is nothing.”
He withdrew, leaving her whole party looking after him curiously. But he made certain to cast her a few looks while he conversed with other guests. She was quite plump and elderly, so that he could not be accused of flirtation—at least of the usual kind. But this was a darker sort of seduction; Phillippa had once told him, with a nervous laugh, that he had the most dreadfully wicked eyes when he looked at her just so.
He imagined Phillippa sitting where the matron did, and watched the lady grow more and more uneasy as her game went on. Finally, at the end of a rubber, she laid down her cards. As soon as Robert saw it, he added a comment to the avid conversation about boxing that was going forward among the gentlemen he observed. So their attention was upon him when his pigeon arrived.
He turned to her. “I am glad you came to me,” he said intensely.
“Why, sir!” she said, putting her hand over her bosom. “You’ve been near to giving me the evil eye this quarter hour past!”
He laughed, shaking his head. “Have I? I beg your forgiveness. Lately I cannot seem to discipline myself. What did you dream last night?”
She blinked at him, fanning herself. “Dream? I’m sure I don’t remember.”
He silently thanked God for small blessings. “Ah. Well then.” He gave a slight shrug and turned back to the card game.
“Why do you ask?”
Robert did not face her directly; he kept his attention on the table, but spoke to her, smiling. “I’m only sorry that you don’t remember.”
He waited, containing any hint of expectation. It was important to let her go if she was not truly hooked.
“But why, sir?”
He glanced aside at her. “You don’t recall your mother?”
She frowned a little, tilting her head curiously, making her blue hat plume sway. “In my dream, do you mean?”
Robert nodded. He let his eyes follow the card play, but kept his face a little turned to her, visibly dividing his attention.
“Are you saying that I dreamed of my mother?” the lady asked, her voice pitching higher.
Robert looked at her then, and smiled. “The scent of flowers,” he said. He shook his head slightly. “But you don’t remember.”
“No...” She moved her fan quickly, frowning at him. “No, I...but wait. I...” Her voice trailed off.
“What sort of flowers?” he asked. “Violets? Or lilacs, perhaps. Think of that. It will help you.”
“Lilacs,” she said instantly. And then, in a moment that startled even Robert, a look of brilliant pleasure came over her face. “Yes! I do remember! My mother’s boudoir! I dreamed of her last night in her boudoir! Oh my! Her lilac water!” She put her fingers over her mouth in a girlish gesture, looking suddenly several decades younger.
Robert was glad that he had not said more—he would have begun suggesting a garden next. He grinned, gave her a conspiratorial wink, and moved away.